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Annastaysia Savage

Author of Any Witch Way

1 Work 105 Members 70 Reviews 3 Favorited

About the Author

Includes the name: Annastaysia Savage

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Works by Annastaysia Savage

Any Witch Way (2011) 105 copies

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Reviews

This is the second book sent to me for free from First Reads.

As for my review, it is simply a letter to the author that I hope she reads, because this has the potential to be a really cute series if she works on a couple of things that plagued this book.

Dear Mrs. Savage,

You have a good story here, if a bit Harry Potter-ish (Let us be honest. You have a 12 [having a birthday and turning 13] year old orphan girl who finds out she is actually an exceptionally powerful witch...as opposed to an 11 [having a birthday and turning 12] year old orphan boy who finds out he is actually a great wizard.). You have some good twists to the plot and endearing characters. By 3/4 of the way through the book I stopped noticing the little, though continuous and abundant, errors. That is a really good thing, as it means that your story began to overcome those things and carry me away with Sadie. If you continue the series I will most assuredly buy and read the next book.

I have to say that your biggest problem that I saw was your editor. He/She should have picked up on your habit with repetitive words. You use the same word over and over and over again in the same paragraph, let alone page. Your vocabulary is obviously very good, it is just a habit you have formed (that is normally broken in your first English Comp class). I do understand that when you get "in the zone" writing your story the first time through that this is easy to do. But, unless you published your first draft, this is a rather glaring flaw. I suppose many 9-12 year olds won't care, but you should. Take for example page 91. In the fifth paragraph you use the phrase "a bit" three times in 4 sentences. One page 59, in the 7th paragraph you used the word "you" 7 times...SEVEN times in one paragraph? This however was something that I found over and over and over again throughout.

Second, I would suggest that when you introduce really obscure words like "widdershins" (for those of you reading the review, according to dictionary.com this is a Scottish word for turning circles counter clockwise), or "piseag" (dictionary.com did not even have this word, I googled it and apparently it is Gaelic for 'kitten'), or "lorelei" (google says it's a German term for a 'siren') it would be helpful if you explained this word to your young readers as I doubt many of them would bother to look them up or google them. If you don't explain obscure words all you are trying to do by using them is lost, so you may as well leave them out. Rowling invented words throughout her series as though she just threw some scrabble letters on the floor and made up Quiddich or Horcrux...but she TOLD us what they meant within context of the story. This gave them power. I encourage you to continue to broaden kids' vocabulary...but that will only happen if you give some explanation in future.

Lastly, watch the cliche usage. It gets tiresome. This is simply another "habit" you have formed that can be broken. Now and then, it's fine. However, you need to remember to put them in quotes. I would venture to suggest that you limit them. Find another way to say it, a way that is yours. I feel confident that you can and that your work will only be improved by your originality. You had a couple of lines in there that I had to underline I liked them so much!

"With a smile that was more a giggle on her face." I loved that. What a wonderful picture that puts in your mind of Tara!

There were a myriad of other miscellaneous errors that should have been caught by your editor (along with the repetitive word usage and over use of cliche). Over all, that kept your book from a solid 4 -4 1/2 stars for me. I wavered between 2 and 3 to be honest with you. But, I grew so attached to Sadie, Zeno, Tara...Whistle. I really will read the next book if you continue the story. I think that you could make a really great series. Don't give up. Pay attention to the details. And, take us all on a "wild ride"!

Sincerely,
Amelia
… (more)
 
Flagged
Amelia1989 | 69 other reviews | Jun 10, 2019 |
This is the second book sent to me for free from First Reads.

As for my review, it is simply a letter to the author that I hope she reads, because this has the potential to be a really cute series if she works on a couple of things that plagued this book.

Dear Mrs. Savage,

You have a good story here, if a bit Harry Potter-ish (Let us be honest. You have a 12 [having a birthday and turning 13] year old orphan girl who finds out she is actually an exceptionally powerful witch...as opposed to an 11 [having a birthday and turning 12] year old orphan boy who finds out he is actually a great wizard.). You have some good twists to the plot and endearing characters. By 3/4 of the way through the book I stopped noticing the little, though continuous and abundant, errors. That is a really good thing, as it means that your story began to overcome those things and carry me away with Sadie. If you continue the series I will most assuredly buy and read the next book.

I have to say that your biggest problem that I saw was your editor. He/She should have picked up on your habit with repetitive words. You use the same word over and over and over again in the same paragraph, let alone page. Your vocabulary is obviously very good, it is just a habit you have formed (that is normally broken in your first English Comp class). I do understand that when you get "in the zone" writing your story the first time through that this is easy to do. But, unless you published your first draft, this is a rather glaring flaw. I suppose many 9-12 year olds won't care, but you should. Take for example page 91. In the fifth paragraph you use the phrase "a bit" three times in 4 sentences. One page 59, in the 7th paragraph you used the word "you" 7 times...SEVEN times in one paragraph? This however was something that I found over and over and over again throughout.

Second, I would suggest that when you introduce really obscure words like "widdershins" (for those of you reading the review, according to dictionary.com this is a Scottish word for turning circles counter clockwise), or "piseag" (dictionary.com did not even have this word, I googled it and apparently it is Gaelic for 'kitten'), or "lorelei" (google says it's a German term for a 'siren') it would be helpful if you explained this word to your young readers as I doubt many of them would bother to look them up or google them. If you don't explain obscure words all you are trying to do by using them is lost, so you may as well leave them out. Rowling invented words throughout her series as though she just threw some scrabble letters on the floor and made up Quiddich or Horcrux...but she TOLD us what they meant within context of the story. This gave them power. I encourage you to continue to broaden kids' vocabulary...but that will only happen if you give some explanation in future.

Lastly, watch the cliche usage. It gets tiresome. This is simply another "habit" you have formed that can be broken. Now and then, it's fine. However, you need to remember to put them in quotes. I would venture to suggest that you limit them. Find another way to say it, a way that is yours. I feel confident that you can and that your work will only be improved by your originality. You had a couple of lines in there that I had to underline I liked them so much!

"With a smile that as more a giggle on her face." I loved that. What a wonderful picture that puts in your mind of Tara!

There were a myriad of other miscellaneous errors that should have been caught by your editor (along with the repetitive word usage and over use of cliche). Over all, that kept your book from a solid 4 -4 1/2 stars for me. I wavered between 2 and 3 to be honest with you. But, I grew so attached to Sadie, Zeno, Tara...Whistle. I really will read the next book if you continue the story. I think that you could make a really great series. Don't give up. Pay attention to the details. And, take us all on a "wild ride"!

Sincerely,
Amelia
… (more)
 
Flagged
Ameliapei | 69 other reviews | Apr 18, 2013 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Member Giveaways.
Received via LTMG. Unfinished.

The story might have been interesting, but the writing was really pretty awful and I quickly reached the point where I had better things to do with my time.
 
Flagged
bluesalamanders | 69 other reviews | Dec 24, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Member Giveaways.
I very much enjoyed reading this book. It is fairly whimsical, and even though it deals with serious issues, such as the loss of a parent, it is also lighthearted in many ways. It is a quick read for an adult, and I would definitely recommend this book to any young adult. Although I believe the book should have a few more runs with an editor, I found it to be quite entertaining and charming!
½
 
Flagged
Kattatonia | 69 other reviews | Oct 3, 2011 |

Statistics

Works
1
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½ 3.6
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70
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