Author picture

Donna Freitas

Author of The Possibilities of Sainthood

31+ Works 1,414 Members 53 Reviews 1 Favorited

About the Author

Donna Freitas is a Nonresident Research Associate at the University of Notre Dame's Center for the Study of Religion and Society, and Visiting Associate Professor of English at Adelphi University. She is the author of Consent on Campus and Sex and the Soul, as well as several novels for young show more adults. She has written for The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. show less

Series

Works by Donna Freitas

The Survival Kit (2011) 147 copies
Unplugged (2016) 110 copies
Gold Medal Summer (2012) 107 copies
Gold Medal Winter (2014) 86 copies
This Gorgeous Game (2010) 74 copies
The Healer (2018) 49 copies
The Body Market (2017) 44 copies
The Tenderness of Thieves (2015) 36 copies

Associated Works

Tagged

Common Knowledge

Members

Reviews

This review originally appeared on my blog at www.gimmethatbook.com.

Thanks to NetGalley for this review copy!

Social media is all around us, whether we like it or not. No matter where you go, you will see people constantly checking their phones, taking selfies, or updating their Facebook status. I am one of those people who have spent a few minutes looking at my feed and thinking, “Everyone looks so happy – what am I doing wrong?”

I’m doing nothing wrong. I’m of a generation where I don’t feel pressure to put on a happy face to my peers. I don’t worry about what a potential employer might think of me, based on my social media output. For a change, I feel happy to not be a college student or a Millennial. The pressure (both internal and external) that this generation is under is immense. There is nowhere to hide, nowhere to truly “be yourself” – because the whole world is watching.

The author interviewed a wide sampling of college students around the United States and put together their thoughts in this thought provoking book. Most of the interviewees spoke of selecting the best moments to share on FB, while saving the gossip and melancholy thoughts for sites that encourage anonymous postings. I learned about a site called Yik Yak, where there are no identities, and no boundaries. I also learned that when some students took a self-imposed “holiday” from their cellphones, it was like a vacation. They spoke of truly being in the moment, rather than recording it for their wall.

There was a chapter on relationships, and how students felt about hookup sites like Tinder. In an interesting juxtaposition to this theory by Simon Sinek (click here for video), Freitas notes that college students are very capable of socializing and meeting people, having complete and meaningful conversations with each other, and being empathetic. When they are around their friends, they don’t become awkward and seek to lose themselves in technology; they interact and communicate like any other generation. Sinek, on the other hand, claims that Millennials and future generations will be unable to communicate face to face, due to their smartphone addiction.

For me, the best part of the book was the last 2 chapters, where the author fleshes out her theories and explains her thought process. I support her suggestions of wi-fi free zones, and professors requiring a basket for cellphone “parking” during classes. I also applauded the inclusion of different races and religions, providing needed diversity and showing the reader how circumstances were different from one person to another.

The interviews were informative, and sometimes shocking, but at times they became repetitive and clogged the flow of information. Perhaps if she organized the book differently, it would have been a bit shorter. She did summarize each chapter at the end, while allowing the thoughts and quotes from each interviewee to illustrate her theories.

One thought that kept occurring to me was how happy I was to be older in today’s world, as I mentioned before. It’s a shame that technology has become such a big part in our lives; I can only hope the human race does not become lost.
… (more)
 
Flagged
kwskultety | 4 other reviews | Jul 4, 2023 |
Consent is a brilliantly rendered memoir authored by a woman, Donna Freitas, who dreamed of being a professor. Unfortunately, she encountered a huge hurdle to realizing her dreams when a professor, a priest no less, became obsessed with her.

Let’s just say that the most compelling part of this book is the complete candor with which it is written, but that is closely followed by the beautiful use of language. Parts of the story are poetically rendered; others have more of an academic cast, and some parts are simply deeply personal.

What makes this book so fascinating is that Donna tells her story in such vivid detail, including her innermost thoughts and her tremendous self doubt. It does help the reader to understand how a situation can start innocuously enough, but then by the time the victim realizes what is happening, she no longer feels empowered to stop it.

Her view of herself in hindsight is so interesting. She never really is able to reconcile her image of herself as an attractive person, in control of her sexuality, filled with passion for a life of the mind with a person who was victimized, but when I read about her family background and her propensity for leaning so hard into her studies, building very close relationships with her teachers from a young age, I do see some red flags. Unfortunately, she managed to come into contact with a predator who, with little more than psychological manipulation, invaded her life. She shows how it happened through her unique lens, and the reader experiences the horror of it. She asks why me, and then I personally think some readers will see the answer – yet she remains unsure. Sadly, the ending is not as satisfying as one hopes for throughout, but it is instructive.
There was a lot I would have liked to discuss about this book, so I think it would be extremely good for book clubs. I walked away with more questions than before I read her account.

All in all, I found the author to be extremely brave to tackle this topic the way that she did, for the world to read. Five stars all the way.

#NetGalley
… (more)
 
Flagged
Anita_Pomerantz | 1 other review | Mar 23, 2023 |
(I was provided an ARC of this book by Netgalley.)
This is a timely and important everyday horror story. It's a skillfully written book. I appreciated that there was no physical violence on the page, because it makes this book an accessible learning tool for anyone wanting to build awareness about the risks faced by people who are not men in everyday situations. Social awareness about how commonplace stalking and violence is seems to be increasing contemporarily, and this book is a nuanced and well-articulated exploration of these issues. I would recommend this book to readers who enjoy titles such as Rage Becomes Her, Good and Mad, Eloquent Rage, etc. My biggest criticism of this book is that the text is heavily gendered and focuses exclusively on cisgender women's experiences, without recognition that other people who are not men (non-binary, transfeminine, transmasculine people) are at risk of similar or more severe violence at the hands of cisgendered, privileged men.

Featured in a blog post at https://booksbeyondbinaries.blog/2020/03/16/neglected-favourites-of-2019/
… (more)
 
Flagged
emmy_of_spines | 1 other review | Sep 8, 2022 |
Good read though I didn't agree with a few of her conclusions but that wasn't why I read it.
 
Flagged
pacbox | Jul 9, 2022 |

Lists

Awards

You May Also Like

Associated Authors

Statistics

Works
31
Also by
1
Members
1,414
Popularity
#18,192
Rating
½ 3.7
Reviews
53
ISBNs
107
Languages
7
Favorited
1

Charts & Graphs