Louise Hay (1926–2017)

I was of course attracted to this book because I thought that the wonderful Louise Hay was at least one of the authors.

But I have to say that Louise Hay did not write this book. Robert Holden did. Louise and Robert did spend nine days together: all their conversations were recorded; they had regular calls on Skype. But Robert actually wrote the book.

Robert explains that the book explores your relationship with the world, whatever that really means. “It asks deep questions about the nature of reality.”

He declares: “Everything is part of everything. Each of us is part of a greater Unity, We have a relationship with the stars, with each other, with all of creation.”

The world is not just a physical place; it is also a state of mind.

Louise and Robert believe that the basic building block of creation is not the atom – it is love.

We are all an expression of this love. It is our true nature.

There are seven chapters, and each chapter ends with a spiritual practice. There are also a number of other exercises, which Robert exhorts us not to skip.

We are told about when Louise and Robert are having a festive lunch on Thanksgiving Day, how a little boy, Elliot, 18 months old keeps walking over to a large mirror and kisses his reflection.

Louise says we can all be like this child by doing mirror work, which helps us to love ourselves again.

When you love yourself, you see that life loves you too.

Louise taught Robert mirror work. It is a series of exercises you do in front of a mirror.

Robert tells us about his family – his wife, Hollie, his daughter, Bo, four years old, and his son Christopher, who is nearly six months old.

We hear about Louise’s childhood, when she was abused. We are also told about Robert’s childhood; his mother suffered from depression and his Dad had a drinking problem, and eventually left home and lived on the street.

The basic truth about everyone is “I am loveable”. Love is your true nature. The basic fear is “I am not loveable”.

When Louise kept on doing mirror work, little miracles began to occur, such as green lights and parking spots, when driving. She was in the rhythm of life. She was easier on herself and life was getting easier.

Louise taught Robert mirror work. It is a series of exercises you do in front of a mirror. These include meditations, affirmations, and inquiries that are featured in her Heal Your Life programme.

Robert calls the main concept behind mirror work “The Mirror Principle”.

The Mirror Principle teaches that your relationship with yourself is mirrored in your relationship with everyone and everything.

The Mirror Principle is the key to self-love and also to letting life love you.

“The less you love yourself, the harder you make it for others to love you. The more you love yourself, the more you recognize how loved you are.”

Robert quotes from A Course in Miracles: “Therefore, seek not to change the world but choose to change your mind about the world.”

The most difficult words for Louise to say were “I love you, Louise”. But she stuck with her mirror work and it transformed her life.

She tried a little exercise. She looked in the mirror and said I am beautiful and everybody loves me”. At first she didn’t believe it, of course, but it soon felt easier. Wherever she went he said to herself “I am beautiful and everybody loves me”. Everyone became so kind to her.

The real purpose of mirror work is to stop judging yourself and see who you really are. You get to see beautiful YOU in full awareness, without judging, criticizing, or comparing.

Louise says “When you judge, you see flaws. When you love, you see your essence.”

Mirror work taught Louise to love herself. It accelerated her healing process when she had vaginal cancer.

When you are willing to love yourself more, every area of your life works out better.

“Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this back to you.”

We are given the first spiritual practice, for which we need a mirror. Sit comfortably. Look into the mirror. Inhale deeply. Say to yourself “Life loves you” or “Life loves me” and then exhale.

Notice your response. Repeat this ten times.

Note your sensations (body messages), feelings (heart thoughts) and thoughts (mental commentary).

Don’t try to be positive. Be honest.

“Life loves you” is about unconditional love.

After ten rounds of saying “Life loves you”, look in the mirror and say “I am willing to let life love me today”.

It’s important to take this mirror work lightly and be playful. Instead, it should be called “Mirror Play”.

Do this every day for seven consecutive days.

The real goal of this first spiritual practice is to help you align yourself with the basic truth “I am loveable”. When you feel loveable, you experience a world that loves you. Remember, the world is a mirror.

"When you let life love you, you feel loveable; and when you feel loveable, you let life love you.”

This is not about making yourself loveable, you already are loveble. It is not about imprroving yourself, it is about accepting yourself. It is not about changing yourself, it is about changing your mind about yourself.

Louise tells Robert “If you don’t know how to change your mind, you can’t change your experience. She says ”I don’t change anyone’s life. Only you can change your own life.”

The world isn’t against us. The truth is that we are all loveable and life loves us.

She says “You have to change your relationship to your mind” (I don’t really understand that) “by remembering that you are the thinker of your thoughts”.

We change our thoughts by making affirmations in front of the mirror.

Every thought you think and every word you say is an affirmation. The moment you say affirmations you are stepping out of the victim role.

Louise lived her affirmations. She didn’t just do ten minutes of affirmations in the morning and then got on with her day. She had affirmations placed around her home.

From what I have indicated so far, you will realize that this is a wonderful book. It is.

Remember, love is our true nature. Love is our soul’s purpose. We are here to choose love over fear. This is our gift to ourselves and to each other.… (more)

Oh, where do I even begin with this book? "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay is, in my humble opinion, an utterly unscientific, shaming, and absurd piece of writing. Frankly, I can't help but worry about the harm it might cause to anyone who takes its claims seriously.

Assigning blame for a condition that no one knowingly chooses to experience is absurd. Not only does this dump a heaping helping of guilt onto someone who's already suffering, but it could also lead to destructive family dynamics that are far from helpful.

If you're sick, particularly with a life-threatening illness, get evidence-based treatment! I'm horrified to think about the potential loss of life caused by Louise Hay's followers' refusal to seek medical attention.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with having hope and maintaining a positive attitude, but let's get real—it won't magically cure cancer. A cheerful outlook may enhance the effectiveness of cancer treatment, but it is not a panacea.

Could we also talk about how Louise Hay believes that people are to blame for their own ill health and misfortunes? This notion is absurd on top of being ridiculous.

Overall, I think this book is offensive and harmful, especially for those who are vulnerable and easily influenced. I wouldn't suggest it to anyone looking for serious guidance or insight.… (more)

As Louise herself says, you can’t learn life for somebody else; everybody has to learn their own particular lessons. Your particular lessons might be different from mine. My lesson was that I learned something about my reaction to something I read in Dale Carnegie’s famous book about making friends and networking together. He said that the most important thing was not criticizing people. That made me nod because I actually spend a large amount of energy trying not to criticize people, trying to do it less than how we’re taught to behave in school, even formally. But then he added that we should also actively praise people and tell them things we like about them, if we really like it about them. That was different for me, and although I liked it, I’ve found it to be difficult to do.

And then I was reading the chapter “How To Love Yourself”, where Louise says that we shouldn’t criticize ourselves—I nodded—and then also she said, We should praise ourselves to ourselves, for what’s good about ourselves, starting today, and I’m like, Oh! 😮

You mean I can deserve the presence of good things, and be good, and not just release bad things, and be, I don’t know, non-bad, right. 😮

I guess to be fair to me, most people are taught that the world is bad vs anti-bad; they don’t get told there’s non-bad, and they certainly don’t get told that there’s good.

But also I realized something else: I always interpreted, I guess, Louise saying that we shouldn’t criticize ourselves, to it being that we shouldn’t Reject ourselves, you know. But she does say that you Don’t need to criticize yourself to change. But I realize now that the main difference between when I entered my self-help journey and when I was kinda a Bella Swan normie, you know—self-hating, sarcastic, weird, (so to speak), negative, stuck: although I went through sorta a “masculine” normie period where I hid my vulnerability and a “feminine” period where I read “Twilight”, (I’m reading it again now, for the first time—and I mean, it’s not such a wonderful novel, but it is nice to actually be able to read it sanely)—is that when I was a normal high school student with good grades and potential or whatever (my “masculine” normie phase) I was negative and stuck, and when I’d been down and out for so long I wanted to change, I still thought that there was something wrong with me, but I could desire change. (Sometimes.)

But we can, I see now, just change without feeling deficient. Because if your motivation to change is that you MUST improve, because you are NOT right, then you Will Not give yourself permission to relax, you know—or even gain a pleasant as opposed to a merely easily-tolerated life experience, most like.

So yeah. It’s so easy to underestimate Louise; she’s not a philosopher; she’s obviously not an academic, you know—but she’s Louise, and I love her. I love her because she helps me to see the good in myself.… (more)