Haley Kilpatrick

I liked this book and the ideas in it so much that I published it in audiobook format. If you'd like to order a copy, visit www.posthypnoticpress.com.

Haley Kilpatrick provides a clear and useful "heads-up" for parents of tween girls and the problems they are likely to encounter, the "drama, drama, drama" that can consume much of their emotional energy. Gone are the innocent days of elementary school when everyone seemed to be their friend. Now, friends can morph into enemies overnight and back again just as quickly - "frienemies" abound! What can your tween do to navigate this tricky time and come out of it unscarred and, better yet, knowing not just how to pick good friends, but be a good friend, too? And what about boys? They are becoming interesting, but can also be a source of pain and confusion, and heaven help you if you happen to like a boy another, more aggressive girl likes - you might find yourself on the receiving end of a barrage of bewildering bullying.

Faced with overwhelming changes — biological, hormonal, social, emotional — in a very short period of time, middle schoolers are riddled with self consciousness. Without guidance on how to handle all these new issues, they often find it easy to target others in an attempt to stave off the underlying anxiety. This creates an uncertain environment, one that fosters an often stifling level of conformity that leads many girls to cut themselves off from all sorts of opportunities and learning experiences they want and would benefit from, out of fear of ridicule. And this anxiety can spill over from school to other areas of a girls life, too. As Haley relates of herself, she loved dancing and as a young girl and put her all into practice and recitals, but that changed around grade severn. She stopped trying as hard to excel: "I was suddenly scared of falling and being perceived as a klutz. They used to place me in the front row during recitals, but now I was put in the middle, or the back, because I wasn’t shining as much during class as I had. And the worst part was that I felt relieved at that change: if I didn’t try to get back on top, then I wouldn’t be in the spotlight." Many tween girls feel the same way: just wanting to blend in without attracting attention, so worried of being scrutinized or made fun of.

This is the age when we see so many girls grades drop, we see their performance in math and science slipping and their joy in physical activity often disappears, while their self-confidence and self-esteem take a nosedive. At the same time, no matter how good or well-meaning our advice as parents might be, tweens are often unreceptive to our guidance. They too often see us as too distant from their experience, or are simply too busy asserting their own independence from us to hear our advice. Yet, a lack of good guidance is a large part of the problem! And this is where Haley Kilpatrick's ideas, simple and easy to implement, come in.

These ideas come directly out of her own experience. As a tween, she was fortunate to stumble upon the right combination of activities and older mentors and, in particular, an older friend, not too much older, just a few years, who helped her sort through this time. In this book, she discusses her experience and the organization, Girl Talk, that she started at age 15. After hearing from teachers, parents, and guidance counsellors all over the country wanting to know what these girls want and need, she decided to let the tweens speak for themselves. You won't hear from experts telling you what to do, but rather, you'll hear from middle school girls themselves about what they are going through. Plus, there are lots of ideas about how you can help the middle school girls in your life not only cope, but what you can do to help ultimately shape them into amazing women.… (more)

I liked this book and the ideas in it so much that I published it in audiobook format. If you'd like to order a copy, visit www.posthypnoticpress.com.

Haley Kilpatrick provides a clear and useful "heads-up" for parents of tween girls and the problems they are likely to encounter, the "drama, drama, drama" that can consume much of their emotional energy. Gone are the innocent days of elementary school when everyone seemed to be their friend. Now, friends can morph into enemies overnight and back again just as quickly - "frienemies" abound! What can your tween do to navigate this tricky time and come out of it unscarred and, better yet, knowing not just how to pick good friends, but be a good friend, too? And what about boys? They are becoming interesting, but can also be a source of pain and confusion, and heaven help you if you happen to like a boy another, more aggressive girl likes - you might find yourself on the receiving end of a barrage of bewildering bullying.

Faced with overwhelming changes — biological, hormonal, social, emotional — in a very short period of time, middle schoolers are riddled with self consciousness. Without guidance on how to handle all these new issues, they often find it easy to target others in an attempt to stave off the underlying anxiety. This creates an uncertain environment, one that fosters an often stifling level of conformity that leads many girls to cut themselves off from all sorts of opportunities and learning experiences they want and would benefit from, out of fear of ridicule. And this anxiety can spill over from school to other areas of a girls life, too. As Haley relates of herself, she loved dancing and as a young girl and put her all into practice and recitals, but that changed around grade severn. She stopped trying as hard to excel: "I was suddenly scared of falling and being perceived as a klutz. They used to place me in the front row during recitals, but now I was put in the middle, or the back, because I wasn’t shining as much during class as I had. And the worst part was that I felt relieved at that change: if I didn’t try to get back on top, then I wouldn’t be in the spotlight." Many tween girls feel the same way: just wanting to blend in without attracting attention, so worried of being scrutinized or made fun of.

This is the age when we see so many girls grades drop, we see their performance in math and science slipping and their joy in physical activity often disappears, while their self-confidence and self-esteem take a nosedive. At the same time, no matter how good or well-meaning our advice as parents might be, tweens are often unreceptive to our guidance. They too often see us as too distant from their experience, or are simply too busy asserting their own independence from us to hear our advice. Yet, a lack of good guidance is a large part of the problem! And this is where Haley Kilpatrick's ideas, simple and easy to implement, come in.

These ideas come directly out of her own experience. As a tween, she was fortunate to stumble upon the right combination of activities and older mentors and, in particular, an older friend, not too much older, just a few years, who helped her sort through this time. In this book, she discusses her experience and the organization, Girl Talk, that she started at age 15. After hearing from teachers, parents, and guidance counsellors all over the country wanting to know what these girls want and need, she decided to let the tweens speak for themselves. You won't hear from experts telling you what to do, but rather, you'll hear from middle school girls themselves about what they are going through. Plus, there are lots of ideas about how you can help the middle school girls in your life not only cope, but what you can do to help ultimately shape them into amazing women.… (more)

The Drama Years is a book that gives parents advice for how to handle situations, and how to help their tween through what most people agree are the hardest years in terms of growing up: middle school. Haley Kilpatrick is the founder of Girl Talk, an organization that provides tween girls with a high school mentor (an adopted big sister, really). Using examples from her own life, comments from tweens today, and comments from high schoolers looking back on their middle school years, Kilpatrick gives tips for how to understand and deal with your tween. She explains why it's helpful for them to have an adopted big sister, to do an activity that she enjoys doing, and to volunteer in the community.

I love the format of this. You don't just hear Kilpatrick's story, you hear the stories of many girls across the nation. And because of that, I think it gives a good picture of what middle school girls are dealing with in terms of situations and emotions. This isn't a comprehensive advice book on how to parent your tween or anything, but it does give some good tips and offers advice for how to help your tween get through her middle school years.

This book is full of awesome advice that parents should really take a look at. A lot of it is common sense, but Kilpatrick puts together some good reminders for parents. For example, she says that instead of saying "because I said so" when you've just made a rule and your tween asks you why it has to be that way, Kilpatrick says that it's better to explain your reasoning. Of course it is. That's not surprising information, but since both parents and tweens react with emotions for many issues, it's nice to be reminded to explain your reasoning. There are many other tips in here that are worth thinking about and implementing.

Regarding the audiobook, the narration is only okay. Because The Drama Years is largely information, it's easy to fall into the unnatural reading voice that I don't like very much. The right inflections are in the right places, but it sounds a tad robotic. I prefer when it sounds like the narrator is talking to me, not reading off a page, but that's a personal preference.

In short, if you find yourself always having fights with your tween girl(s), or you just want a little bit more perspective on what's going on in her head, read this book. It gives great advice, you hear what some tweens think about the situation, and you also hear from high school students who are looking back on the situation. This is a great book for parents.

*I was given a free copy of this book from the publisher through the Solid Gold Reviewers Program at Audiobook Jukebox in exchange for an honest review.*… (more)