Chapter 1

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1localpeanut
Jan 3, 2007, 9:00pm

It's the first of January.

2abductee
Jan 3, 2007, 10:56pm

Resolutions broken, I awoke to

3BTRIPP
Jan 3, 2007, 11:50pm

an army of jackhammers excavating

4ExVivre
Jan 4, 2007, 12:37am

the interior of my cranium.

5Eurydice
Jan 4, 2007, 1:49am

But suddenly, in the din

6SimonW11
Jan 4, 2007, 2:41am

I heard the quiet sobbing

7tartalom
Jan 4, 2007, 7:29am

of little Mary's tenor saxophone

8KromesTomes
Jan 4, 2007, 7:33am

stolen, years ago, from Sonny Rollins.

9aluvalibri
Jan 4, 2007, 7:57am

It was an unusual instrument,

10BTRIPP
Jan 4, 2007, 10:03am

sleek, sweetly sonorant, and able

11aluvalibri
Jan 4, 2007, 10:35am

to send shivers down your spine

12jbd1
Jan 4, 2007, 10:47am

with every discordant note. I

13SimonW11
Jan 4, 2007, 10:59am

felt my angush grow. Stomach

14BTRIPP
Jan 4, 2007, 11:03am

knotting, head spinning, the light

15BoPeep
Jan 4, 2007, 11:26am

searing into my eyeballs. I

16aluvalibri
Jan 4, 2007, 11:42am

soon realized I needed a drink!

17tartalom
Jan 4, 2007, 12:08pm

Oh cruel mistress! Where's that

18Retrogirl85
Jan 4, 2007, 12:18pm

bottle of gin! I began

19radiantarchangelus
Jan 4, 2007, 1:51pm

to make my way toward

20bookishbunny
Jan 4, 2007, 2:09pm

the hallway bathroom. There I

21Talbin
Jan 4, 2007, 3:28pm

looked in the mirror and

22quartzite
Jan 4, 2007, 3:37pm

promptly passed out. The next

23_Zoe_
Jan 4, 2007, 3:50pm

thing I knew, I was

24kurtabeard
Jan 4, 2007, 4:21pm

awake, again and in need

25BoPeep
Jan 4, 2007, 4:48pm

of a reality check. Did

26artisan
Jan 4, 2007, 6:11pm

the gin bottle really fly?

27Fey First Message
Jan 4, 2007, 6:39pm

Or did sly little Mary

28localpeanut
Jan 4, 2007, 7:25pm

use a jar of mayonnaise

29Eurydice
Jan 4, 2007, 8:21pm

for her throbbing, dastardly deed?

30Jasper
Jan 4, 2007, 9:04pm

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

31BTRIPP
Jan 4, 2007, 9:12pm

or at what certainly seemed

32Eurydice
Jan 4, 2007, 9:20pm

like a ranch, Mr. Smithers

33TheBlindHog
Edited: Jan 4, 2007, 9:37pm

nipped me on the ankle.

34abductee
Jan 4, 2007, 10:04pm

"Damned ankle biter!" I yelped.

35Fey
Jan 4, 2007, 10:33pm

Why did false teeth hurt

36Retrogirl85
Edited: Jan 4, 2007, 11:04pm

so much. I bent down

37The_Other_Reader
Jan 4, 2007, 11:45pm

and rubbed away the pain

38artisan
Jan 4, 2007, 11:49pm

with gin, while Mr. Smithers

39BTRIPP
Jan 5, 2007, 5:06am

somehow faded out of sight.

40tartalom
Jan 5, 2007, 7:14am

What happened to that sweet

41aluvalibri
Jan 5, 2007, 7:36am

little toad I had so

42KromesTomes
Jan 5, 2007, 7:42am

often shared my alcohol with?

43Eurydice
Jan 5, 2007, 8:10am

A prince among toads... He

44Retrogirl85
Jan 5, 2007, 8:18am

always looked forward to a

45aluvalibri
Jan 5, 2007, 8:18am

good binge or to booze

46BoPeep
Jan 5, 2007, 9:18am

with us in our abandonment.

47kurtabeard
Jan 5, 2007, 9:35am

Abandonment from what, I can't

48BTRIPP
Jan 5, 2007, 9:47am

immediately recall, things being so

49Fogies
Jan 5, 2007, 9:52am

generally abandoned around here that

50bookishbunny
Jan 5, 2007, 9:58am

crimes went unwitnessed, and reason

51Fey
Jan 5, 2007, 10:05am

was just a 6 letter

52BoPeep
Jan 5, 2007, 10:06am

word for insanity. We were

53ryn_books
Jan 5, 2007, 10:12am

lurching from our past and

54Fogies
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 10:18am

staggered by our prospects, which

55radiantarchangelus
Jan 5, 2007, 10:25am

much like the sun setting

56Fogies
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 10:33am

loomed luridly crimson. The corpse

57bookishbunny
Jan 5, 2007, 10:38am

that passed for my body

58BoPeep
Jan 5, 2007, 10:40am

rubbed its eyes and winced

59SimonW11
Jan 5, 2007, 10:45am

sadly. Yesterday I had been

60jayqq1953 First Message
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 10:54am

in tip-top shape, now

61KromesTomes
Jan 5, 2007, 11:12am

hungover, I made my way

62Retrogirl85
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 12:04pm

This message has been deleted by its author.

63BoPeep
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 1:28pm

(Deleted line before this involved someone who was...)

trying to prise Mary's saxophone

64Talbin
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 11:55am

out of her filthy little

65Fogies
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 11:54am

This message has been deleted by its author.

66Fogies
Jan 5, 2007, 11:57am

carpet-bag, stained with yesterday's rancid

67aluvalibri
Jan 5, 2007, 11:58am

milk, which she had not

68MyopicBookworm
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 12:03pm

deigned to share with the

69Retrogirl85
Jan 5, 2007, 12:05pm

This message has been deleted by its author.

70bookishbunny
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 12:09pm

neighbor's pet ferret. The saxaphone

71radiantarchangelus
Jan 5, 2007, 12:29pm

was covered with blood and

72artisan
Jan 5, 2007, 12:57pm

underneath it lay a gun.

73preslib First Message
Jan 5, 2007, 1:31pm

Against my better judgement, I

74localpeanut
Jan 5, 2007, 1:37pm

picked it up with a

75Fogies
Jan 5, 2007, 1:40pm

shock of recognition. It was

76_Zoe_
Jan 5, 2007, 1:43pm

the very same weapon that

77MMcM
Jan 5, 2007, 2:09pm

I had planned to use

78Fogies
Jan 5, 2007, 2:15pm

to end our grotesque ineffable

79aluvalibri
Jan 5, 2007, 2:32pm

affair filled with lots of

80jayqq1953
Jan 5, 2007, 2:42pm

emmotional upheavel and close knit

81bookishbunny
Jan 5, 2007, 3:02pm

reconciliations. Mary, my intended victim,

82becbart
Jan 5, 2007, 3:11pm

was the daughter of the

83bookishbunny
Jan 5, 2007, 3:36pm

soda magnate, "Pops" Fizzoli, who

84KromesTomes
Jan 5, 2007, 3:57pm

was a well-known Coke dealer.

85artisan
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 4:00pm

He gave Mary that saxaphone

86starfishpaws
Jan 5, 2007, 4:18pm

after he and Sonny Rollins

87localpeanut
Jan 5, 2007, 4:40pm

left the Jesuit seminary in

88Fogies
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 4:43pm

Walla Walla having blackmailed the mayor

89bookishbunny
Jan 5, 2007, 5:00pm

with a cheddar-wheel incident. Mary

90radiantarchangelus
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 5:08pm

loved her father greatly, but

91petescisco
Jan 5, 2007, 5:20pm

that was a lifetime ago.

92Talbin
Jan 5, 2007, 5:21pm

This message has been deleted by its author.

93Fey
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 6:46pm

The Pre-Coke Lifetime. Mary preferred

94localpeanut
Jan 5, 2007, 7:46pm

Velveeta anyway. I looked down

95Eurydice
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 8:05pm

feeling nausea. Velveeta and gin

96aluvalibri
Jan 5, 2007, 8:15pm

were definitely not my cup

97Eurydice
Jan 5, 2007, 8:18pm

of tea. Or cheer. Rather

98mrgrooism
Jan 5, 2007, 8:38pm

it was more like undulating

99BoPeep
Jan 5, 2007, 8:39pm

tsunamis in a tea cup.

100mrgrooism
Jan 5, 2007, 8:42pm

Suddenly, like a limpet in

101becbart
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 9:14pm

a pool of water clinging

102mrgrooism
Edited: Jan 5, 2007, 9:22pm

to a lumpy piece of

103The_Other_Reader
Jan 5, 2007, 9:35pm

flotsam - or is it jetsam? -

104localpeanut
Jan 5, 2007, 9:48pm

a hand gripped my wrist.

105Eurydice
Jan 5, 2007, 9:51pm

An idea bobbed acrest waves

106TheBlindHog
Jan 5, 2007, 11:05pm

of rising terror, filling my

107Fey
Jan 5, 2007, 11:37pm

obviously dysfunctional mind with new

108mrgrooism
Jan 5, 2007, 11:41pm

and dangerous thoughts about saxophones

109artisan
Jan 6, 2007, 12:49am

and blood, and bloody saxaphones!

110mrgrooism
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 12:54am

Obviously Mary saw Smithers approaching,

111Fogies
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 8:56am

remembered that bottle of gin,

(Later: moved by pity for the English language, we alter the above to stashed the gin and fled.

112SimonW11
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 11:31am

I poured it over the

Argh! the ground is shifting beneatth my feet make that

The horror that was a

Fogies I will get you for this.

113BTRIPP
Jan 6, 2007, 4:21am

slowly coalescing specter before he

114MyopicBookworm
Jan 6, 2007, 6:18am

could break the queasy silence

115Talbin
Jan 6, 2007, 10:00am

with another cryptic comment. I

116Fey
Jan 6, 2007, 10:33am

don't know why I still

117becbart
Jan 6, 2007, 11:50am

gave a damn about what

118Fogies
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 2:01pm

to drink. Maybe a soda

(Simon #112 We are all humble acolytes who serve a master more powerful than even
FSM. Let us approach her altar in harmony.)

119starfishpaws
Jan 6, 2007, 12:38pm

was really just a soda

120artisan
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 12:46pm

, saxophones were blunt instruments, and

121MMcM
Jan 6, 2007, 1:07pm

one cheap Brazilian handgun was

122Fogies
Jan 6, 2007, 1:16pm

the way to Dusty Death.

123bookishbunny
Jan 6, 2007, 1:21pm

But a soda led to

124BoPeep
Jan 6, 2007, 2:40pm

rehydration, something I desperately needed.

125aluvalibri
Jan 6, 2007, 2:46pm

Then my awful nightmares started...

126Fogies
Jan 6, 2007, 2:49pm

the specter touched my arm,

127localpeanut
Jan 6, 2007, 2:56pm

and said, "Come follow me."

128MrsTheClown First Message
Jan 6, 2007, 3:44pm

"I know a great bar."

129finebalance
Jan 6, 2007, 3:51pm

where no holds and handguns

130JPB
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 3:55pm

are allowed!" A cock crowed.

131kurtabeard
Edited: Jan 6, 2007, 4:21pm

They called it the Ocracoke

132Fogies
Jan 6, 2007, 4:33pm

sodality of effervescent Tsiknus, referring

133BoPeep
Jan 6, 2007, 4:51pm

to a strange ritual wherein

134aluvalibri
Jan 6, 2007, 5:28pm

toes had to be bitten

135petescisco
Jan 6, 2007, 6:56pm

slowly at first, with relish,

136jbd1
Jan 6, 2007, 8:19pm

and then, more quickly, with

137Fogies
Jan 6, 2007, 8:53pm

mustard, in the conservatory. "Yes,

138becbart
Jan 6, 2007, 8:58pm

I could go in for

139Eurydice
Jan 6, 2007, 10:10pm

pungent toes, beer, and conservat-ion-ory-isms...

140kupad First Message
Jan 7, 2007, 12:02am

" So, I followed my ethereal

141katylit
Jan 7, 2007, 12:07am

tempter as she lured me

142mrgrooism
Jan 7, 2007, 12:11am

back towards the instrument of

143bookishbunny
Jan 7, 2007, 12:20am

of my downfall: the bar.

144MMcM
Jan 7, 2007, 12:31am

Like that scene in The

145BTRIPP
Jan 7, 2007, 1:08am

Blonde In Black Silk where

146SimonW11
Jan 7, 2007, 2:51am

Samantha Fox smiles at the

147tartalom
Edited: Jan 7, 2007, 6:31am

Statue of Montezuma, wearing only

148jjlong
Jan 7, 2007, 8:04am

plum lipstick, and a yarmulke.

149Talbin
Jan 7, 2007, 8:11am

I sat down and ordered

150hailelib
Jan 7, 2007, 8:32am

one for the road. And

151BoPeep
Jan 7, 2007, 8:37am

three for right away. "Ice?"

152Fogies
Jan 7, 2007, 8:45am

she croaked. "Our canned soda

153TheBlindHog
Jan 7, 2007, 10:30am

is as warm as a

154radiantarchangelus
Jan 7, 2007, 10:44am

dead raccoon on the side

155quartzite
Jan 7, 2007, 11:35am

-walk." I nodded. Big mistake.

156aluvalibri
Jan 7, 2007, 1:48pm

I was immediately presented with

157Fogies
Jan 7, 2007, 1:50pm

an explosion of stars in

158localpeanut
Jan 7, 2007, 3:01pm

a soup bowl. Noodle soup!

159aluvalibri
Jan 7, 2007, 5:00pm

The papiermache` mini orangutang perched

160hailelib
Jan 7, 2007, 5:16pm

at the end of the

161bookishbunny
Jan 7, 2007, 6:32pm

spoon laughed at my shock.

162BTRIPP
Jan 7, 2007, 6:56pm

"Ice." I echoed, "Ice, please!"

163localpeanut
Jan 7, 2007, 7:10pm

I blinked my eyes again.

164barney67
Jan 7, 2007, 7:37pm

"My briefs!" cried the senator.

165hailelib
Jan 7, 2007, 7:40pm

I turned my head slowly,

166Fogies
Edited: Jan 7, 2007, 8:06pm

and saw no briefs. His

167aluvalibri
Jan 7, 2007, 10:35pm

brassiere was hanging from a

168mrgrooism
Jan 8, 2007, 12:15am

saxophone nailed to the wall.

169artisan
Jan 8, 2007, 1:46am

Nailed, just as I was

170The_Other_Reader
Jan 8, 2007, 1:49am

, by the cop who came

171SimonW11
Jan 8, 2007, 3:06am

upon me robbing the bank.

172BoPeep
Jan 8, 2007, 4:39am

I'd tried to forget that.

173MyopicBookworm
Jan 8, 2007, 7:23am

To drown it in gin

174aluvalibri
Jan 8, 2007, 7:34am

but I only had soda.

175hailelib
Jan 8, 2007, 7:51am

Soda, ginger ale, Coke and

176KromesTomes
Jan 8, 2007, 8:05am

sardines -- the breakfast of champions!

177BoPeep
Jan 8, 2007, 8:08am

Not much oblivion in Fanta.

178bookishbunny
Jan 8, 2007, 8:19am

The Senator's sudden appearance caused

179Fogies
Jan 8, 2007, 8:31am

the cat to run under

180jayqq1953
Jan 8, 2007, 8:32am

This message has been deleted by its author.

181jayqq1953
Jan 8, 2007, 8:34am

my bar stool, hissing and

182hailelib
Edited: Jan 8, 2007, 8:38am

clawing...and my head exploded

183tartalom
Jan 8, 2007, 8:37am

hovered by my fedora, humming

184Fogies
Jan 8, 2007, 8:38am

--wow, what a hangover! The

185Eurydice
Jan 8, 2007, 8:47am

only thing missing's a lobster!

186bookishbunny
Jan 8, 2007, 9:01am

But even a lobster couldn't

187aluvalibri
Jan 8, 2007, 9:17am

satisfy my hunger for truth

188radiantarchangelus
Jan 8, 2007, 9:20am

. What happened to my Mary?

189quartzite
Jan 8, 2007, 10:01am

The Senator stole her heart

190Fey
Jan 8, 2007, 10:08am

but did she steal his

191bookishbunny
Jan 8, 2007, 10:09am

, or merely borrow it? I

192jayqq1953
Jan 8, 2007, 10:14am

took the photograph of Mary

193radiantarchangelus
Jan 8, 2007, 10:27am

with Mr. Smithers before she

194bookishbunny
Jan 8, 2007, 10:41am

married the Seantor. We were

195quartzite
Jan 8, 2007, 11:17am

so happy then, Mary, Smithers,

196Fogies
Jan 8, 2007, 11:29am

me, and the senator's briefs.

197aluvalibri
Jan 8, 2007, 12:14pm

But, all of a sudden,

198becbart
Jan 8, 2007, 1:12pm

the cat clawed and bit

199BTRIPP
Jan 8, 2007, 1:21pm

my ankle, just like Smithers.

200jbd1
Jan 8, 2007, 1:27pm

I thought to myself, "Must

201jayqq1953
Jan 8, 2007, 1:51pm

I, the great Oswald von

202quartzite
Edited: Jan 8, 2007, 1:56pm

Farfenfarfer, find some clean socks?"

203katylit
Jan 8, 2007, 3:06pm

"Will there be no end

204bookishbunny
Edited: Jan 8, 2007, 4:13pm

to Mary's hold on

205hailelib
Jan 8, 2007, 4:01pm

me and the cat's meow?

206radiantarchangelus
Jan 8, 2007, 4:56pm

Soda in hand, I left

207jjlong
Jan 8, 2007, 6:03pm

the barmaid a ten-dollar tip

208becbart
Jan 8, 2007, 8:40pm

and stumbled out into the

209PigsnieLite First Message
Jan 8, 2007, 9:26pm

Nightmare of Elton John's bathroom.

210PigsnieLite
Jan 8, 2007, 9:28pm

This message has been deleted by its author.

211artisan
Jan 8, 2007, 11:54pm

I tripped on John's john,

212The_Other_Reader
Jan 9, 2007, 1:10am

a bad acid trip, like

213quartzite
Jan 9, 2007, 3:17am

that time when the Senator

214SimonW11
Jan 9, 2007, 3:32am

realised we were made of

215tartalom
Jan 9, 2007, 6:50am

sterner stuff than he had

216hailelib
Jan 9, 2007, 7:19am

originally postulated. Meanwhile Mary was

217aluvalibri
Jan 9, 2007, 7:35am

energically massaging her tired calves,

218KromesTomes
Jan 9, 2007, 7:51am

but that's an udder story.

219bookishbunny
Jan 9, 2007, 8:28am

Awake, on the sidewalk, I

220quartzite
Jan 9, 2007, 9:11am

headed for the office. Sweet

221Eurydice
Jan 9, 2007, 9:12am

smell of a gambling den!

222Fey
Jan 9, 2007, 9:39am

Smithers waited for me with

223aluvalibri
Jan 9, 2007, 10:35am

a pitchfork in his hand.

224BoPeep
Jan 9, 2007, 11:10am

"You're late!" he yelled. "I've

225jbd1
Edited: Jan 9, 2007, 11:20am

already assumed human form!" With

226quartzite
Jan 9, 2007, 11:59am

that, he adjusted his glasses,

227bookishbunny
Jan 9, 2007, 12:40pm

eyed me froggily, and dealt

228KromesTomes
Jan 9, 2007, 1:02pm

with Mary, who was again

229aluvalibri
Jan 9, 2007, 1:26pm

sunk in a complete stupor

230radiantarchangelus
Jan 9, 2007, 2:00pm

but, at least, was with

231katylit
Jan 9, 2007, 2:26pm

the gin bottle and my

232quartzite
Jan 9, 2007, 2:55pm

saxaphone. "Oswald," he said, "give

233BTRIPP
Jan 9, 2007, 3:06pm

me that revolver, I need

234bookishbunny
Jan 9, 2007, 3:09pm

it." It was Smithers speaking.

235artisan
Jan 9, 2007, 5:05pm

"No", I said, "it's Mary's".

236hailelib
Jan 9, 2007, 5:44pm

Prodding me with the pitchfork

237The_Other_Reader
Jan 9, 2007, 6:06pm

, Smithers asked for it again.

238localpeanut
Jan 9, 2007, 7:21pm

His little webbed knees shook.

239artisan
Jan 9, 2007, 7:53pm

Mary revived and hit him

240Fey
Jan 9, 2007, 8:35pm

with the saxophone case. It

241MMcM
Jan 9, 2007, 9:19pm

made a B-flat thud like

242PigsnieLite
Jan 9, 2007, 10:52pm

a slab of virgin Pancetta.

243TheBlindHog
Jan 9, 2007, 11:12pm

He dropped faster than a

244artisan
Jan 10, 2007, 12:31am

tent in a tornado. Mary

245mrgrooism
Jan 10, 2007, 12:37am

wasted no time, and lunged

246The_Other_Reader
Edited: Jan 10, 2007, 1:14am

for the gun, shot out

247quartzite
Jan 10, 2007, 1:46am

her arm, grabbed a lime,

248SimonW11
Jan 10, 2007, 2:52am

and squeezed. Franticly Smithers tried

249BTRIPP
Jan 10, 2007, 6:38am

to avoid becoming frog ceviche,

250aluvalibri
Jan 10, 2007, 7:43am

and fell instead flatly on

251bookishbunny
Jan 10, 2007, 8:25am

my discarded soda can, which

252quartzite
Jan 10, 2007, 9:02am

rose, hovering in the air,

253jayqq1953
Jan 10, 2007, 9:38am

expelling a mixture of gas

254starfishpaws
Jan 10, 2007, 11:39am

and liquid metal. Instinctively, I

255BoPeep
Jan 10, 2007, 11:39am

ducked, watching Smithers dangle from

256artisan
Edited: Jan 10, 2007, 1:42pm

the can as it flew

257bookishbunny
Jan 10, 2007, 12:47pm

toward the subway entrance. Smithers

258hailelib
Edited: Jan 10, 2007, 12:52pm

sloppily hopped over the spangled

259bookishbunny
Jan 10, 2007, 1:05pm

sidewalk, still clutching the can

260aluvalibri
Jan 10, 2007, 1:11pm

with all his mighty strength

261The_Other_Reader
Jan 10, 2007, 1:49pm

and disappeared into the entrance.

262BTRIPP
Jan 10, 2007, 2:31pm

It was then I realized

263bookishbunny
Jan 10, 2007, 2:46pm

the station entrance was blocked

264BoPeep
Jan 10, 2007, 3:08pm

by a large man in

265jayqq1953
Jan 10, 2007, 3:14pm

skin-tight suit carrying a bag

266jbd1
Jan 10, 2007, 3:22pm

filled with what appeared to

267quartzite
Jan 10, 2007, 3:28pm

be the Senator's briefs. "My

268Fey
Jan 10, 2007, 4:24pm

good man, watch where you're

269Talbin
Jan 10, 2007, 4:50pm

going! Didn't you see the

270artisan
Jan 10, 2007, 4:51pm

This message has been deleted by its author.

271bookishbunny
Jan 10, 2007, 4:57pm

hot coffee in my hand?

272localpeanut
Jan 10, 2007, 8:19pm

This is Caramel Cinnamon Macchiato!"

273hailelib
Jan 10, 2007, 8:28pm

Ignoring him, I scurried after Smithers

274TheBlindHog
Jan 10, 2007, 9:53pm

with a growing sense of

275localpeanut
Jan 10, 2007, 10:19pm

dread. Smithers had left a

276artisan
Jan 10, 2007, 11:35pm

murderous gleam in Mary's eyes,

277SimonW11
Jan 11, 2007, 2:11am

a gleam that presaged only

278tartalom
Jan 11, 2007, 4:44am

chaos. He must be caught

279hailelib
Jan 11, 2007, 7:36am

and made to talk about

280aluvalibri
Jan 11, 2007, 7:38am

the forbidden can of soda

281bookishbunny
Jan 11, 2007, 8:34am

and its unexpected, sinister behavior.

282BoPeep
Jan 11, 2007, 9:53am

Smithers was a slippery kind

283quartzite
Jan 11, 2007, 10:42am

and Mary was getting suspicious

284MyopicBookworm
Edited: Jan 11, 2007, 10:57am

about the revolver I still

285aluvalibri
Jan 11, 2007, 11:17am

concealed in my bulging pockets

286artisan
Edited: Jan 11, 2007, 1:10pm

. Could she kill him before

287bookishbunny
Jan 11, 2007, 2:26pm

the possessed soda can could?

288BoPeep
Jan 11, 2007, 3:49pm

I checked my pockets but

289The_Other_Reader
Jan 11, 2007, 5:11pm

Mary was quicker. She held

290localpeanut
Jan 11, 2007, 8:43pm

a flask of holy water.

291hailelib
Edited: Jan 11, 2007, 8:48pm

And in the other hand

292kageeh
Jan 11, 2007, 8:51pm

a map unfolded to show

293petescisco
Jan 11, 2007, 9:03pm

the whereabouts of a certain

294kageeh
Jan 11, 2007, 9:12pm

cache of WMDs and spores

295TheBlindHog
Jan 11, 2007, 10:00pm

. "Sweet Michael Chertoff," I thought.

296quartzite
Jan 12, 2007, 1:55am

"What has Mary got herself

297SimonW11
Jan 12, 2007, 2:14am

tangled up in, parachute silk?

298abductee
Jan 12, 2007, 2:57am

This message has been deleted by its author.

299quartzite
Jan 12, 2007, 3:01am

" I smiled uneasily. "Martini, Mary?"

300abductee
Jan 12, 2007, 3:11am

"Please. But butterfly wrappings seem

301kageeh
Jan 12, 2007, 6:54am

too ephemeral. Two olives straight.

302BoPeep
Jan 12, 2007, 6:55am

Excuse me!" and she walked

303MyopicBookworm
Jan 12, 2007, 7:23am

over to the nearby jukebox

304hailelib
Edited: Jan 12, 2007, 7:54am

, picked a few sax tunes

305KromesTomes
Jan 12, 2007, 7:37am

and asked me to dance.

306tartalom
Jan 12, 2007, 7:52am

I tucked in my gut,

307aluvalibri
Jan 12, 2007, 7:55am

and took up the challenge.

308quartzite
Jan 12, 2007, 8:06am

As we cha-cha-chaed, I felt

309bookishbunny
Jan 12, 2007, 8:45am

we were neglecting Smithers' predicament.

310radiantarchangelus
Jan 12, 2007, 9:32am

So I left, knowing Mary

311BoPeep
Jan 12, 2007, 9:42am

would dance on alone. The

312BTRIPP
Jan 12, 2007, 10:30am

trail was faint, but I

313jayqq1953
Jan 12, 2007, 11:49am

could smell amphibious residue clinging

314Talbin
Edited: Jan 12, 2007, 11:50am

to the mist in the

315bookishbunny
Jan 12, 2007, 12:27pm

subway tunnel. The walls echoed

316aluvalibri
Jan 12, 2007, 12:45pm

my harried steps. I was

317kageeh
Jan 12, 2007, 1:08pm

concerned without my trusted old

318radiantarchangelus
Jan 12, 2007, 1:32pm

martini glass, but at least

319artisan
Jan 12, 2007, 1:53pm

I had the gun. Ahead,

320bookishbunny
Jan 12, 2007, 2:01pm

an approaching subway softly roared

321starfishpaws
Jan 12, 2007, 2:20pm

and belched black smoke while

322Talbin
Jan 12, 2007, 3:02pm

a bum in the corner

323jayqq1953
Jan 12, 2007, 3:16pm

made castles out of soda

324BoPeep
Jan 12, 2007, 3:43pm

cans; four-letter poems scrawled behind

325ExVivre
Jan 12, 2007, 4:36pm

his head preached love and

326kageeh
Edited: Jan 12, 2007, 4:50pm

communion with Levy's Jewish rye.

327hailelib
Jan 12, 2007, 5:23pm

"Smithers, is that you?" He

328BTRIPP
Jan 13, 2007, 1:06am

appeared more amphibian than before,

329ExVivre
Jan 13, 2007, 2:28am

yet his humanity shown forth

330tartalom
Jan 13, 2007, 5:14am

in strangely anthropomorphic jerking of

331SimonW11
Jan 13, 2007, 11:09am

his nether regions, was enough

332quartzite
Jan 13, 2007, 11:20am

to confirm his identity. Drenched

333hailelib
Jan 13, 2007, 11:47am

in sweat, soda and gin

334BTRIPP
Jan 13, 2007, 11:52am

, he eyed my ankles with

335quartzite
Edited: Jan 13, 2007, 12:09pm

a hungry gleam. "Not this

336Eurydice
Edited: Jan 13, 2007, 2:12pm

time, my fine puce friend!"

337localpeanut
Jan 13, 2007, 2:11pm

Chapter 1 - FINIS

Please post in Chapter 2 - The Haunted Soda