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1. Have you heard? - If you can guess Newt Gingrich's real name then he will be forced to teach you how to spin straw into gold.
2. If Willard Romney becomes the republican Presidential nominee Obama will beat him like a runaway sister-wife.
A cultist, a triple-chinned serial adulterer, a neo-confederate, and a crazy Papist all walk into a bar… uh, I mean a republican debate...
(Everyone can provide their own punch line.)
I saw a tweet:
Gingrich claims we'll have a moon base by his 2nd term. Do you know how hard it is to craft a sentence where "moon base" isn't the crazy part?
Obama's new White House press secretary decided to start his first day on the job with a joke. But when a member of the press corp asked him about the punchline, the new press secretary answered, "I'm sorry, but we don't comment on specific interrogation methods."
Newt the Reptilian Party's choice for POTUS is already imagining being "President of the Moon" once a base is established and then applies to be our 51st state.
Suck it up, Rondroid Paul. Newt is obviously now the frontrunner in lunatic politics. He be the (space) man!
When I initially read that Sister Sarah had characterized the many Newt critics as "Stalinesque" I was pleasantly surprised at her surprising eruditeness.
Then I saw that it was a Facebook post and that she had spelled it "Stalin-esque".
I understand that she can see a library from her house.
Here's a republican joke - if you think it funny to tell both a sick kid and his mom to go eff themselves:
And here is another republican joke - if you think it funny for a grown man to actually think there exists something called "honest rape":
Now for some good old spit-take hilarity - a guy with a million dollar line of credit at Tiffany's who thinks riding the subway in NYC is elitist.
Well, that's enough for today.
But I will bet Willard Romney $10 that one of these fools will top themselves tomorrow. Not that Willard might not swallow his own foot by then.
#7: And here is another republican joke - if you think it funny for a grown man to actually think there exists something called "honest rape":
Yes, it's always funny when reporters make fools of themselves by deliberately misunderstanding someone in order to pretend they're being clever when any normal person would understand Paul was using the word "honest" to mean "actual." Maybe Ferguson needs to have a clown nose sent to him in the mail.
It's Mormon in America, the Shining Salt Lake City on a Hill!
This has got to be the winning political joke of the year: a guy running for POTUS with an anti-birth control agenda:
With 99 per cent or so of women in the U.S. either now using or having used birth control at some time in their lives, someone please explain to me how Mr. Santorum, as the republican presidential candidate, would not lose all 50 states, and turn both houses of congress very blue.
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