Smiler's Miscellany: Part Four

Louis Icart again. I couldn't resist.



Currently reading, listening to,
and slowly browsing through:
On Cats by Doris Lessing
Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman
♫ Dracula by Bram Stoker
The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck

      



12/12 Challenge
1. The First Half 1901-1951 2/12
2. Tea with Georgie, Vickie & Eddie - 18th & 19th Century Classics 1/12
3. Picked for me - chosen from my shelves at random by LTers 1/12
4. Guardian Knows Best - Guardian 1000 1/12
5. The Dark Side - Crime & Mystery 1/12
6. Going Places - International authors & places 3/12
7. Young at Heart - Children/YA/Fantasy 4/12
8. Hot Off the Press - Published since 2011 1/12
9. Visual Treats - books on art, photography, design, or just beautiful books 1/12
10. Beyond Fiction - non-fiction 3/12
11. Litérature Française (read in French) 2/12
12. From My Treasure-Trove - off the shelf (acquired before 31/12/11) 2/12

Books completed in February
18. L'Assommoir by Émile Zola ★★★★½ (review) ☀
19. ♫ The Quiet American by Graham Greene ★★★ (review) ☀
20. The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole ★★★★ (review) ☀
21. ♫ The Difference Engine by William Gibson ★★½ (review) ☀
22. The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck ★★★★⅓ (review) ☀
23. ♫ Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier ★★★★⅓ (review) ☀
24. Drawing from Memory by Allen Say ★★★ (review) ☀
25. The Secret River by Kate Grenville ★★★★ (review) ☀
26. Le vieux chagrin by Jacques Poulin ★½ (review) ☀
27. The Seeing Stone by Holly Black, illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi ★★★⅞ (review) ☀
28. The Wall: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain by Peter Sís (rating & review coming soon)
29. ♫ Doomsday Book by Connie Willis (rating & review coming soon) ☀
30. ♫ Études de Femmes by Honoré de Balzac (rating & review coming soon) ☀
31. ♫ The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark (rating & review coming soon) ☀
32. ♫ The City & The City by China Miéville (rating & review coming soon) ☀

Books completed in March
33. Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh (rating & review coming soon) ☀
34. Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman (rating & review coming soon)



My rating system:
★ - hated it (may or may not have finished it but listing it for the trouble)
★★ - it was just ok
★★★ - enjoyed it (good)
★★★★ - loved it! (very good)
★★★★★ - all-time favourite (blew me away—will read again)

⅛ ¼ ⅓ ½ ¾ ⅞

♫ = audiobook
✔ = off the shelf
☀ = TIOLI

Suggested reads for February (a very ambitious list...)

☛ The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon, TIOLI Challenge #6: Read a book whose author's surname has a "Scrabble value" of 12 or more, 12/12 The First Half
☛ ❉ Le vieux chagrin by Jacques Poulin (TIOLI Challenge #3: a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word—Mister/merits, 12/12 Litérature Française)
☛ ♫ Études de Femmes by Honoré de Balzac - Picked by bucketyell (TIOLI Challenge #6, 12/12 Picked by)
☛ ♫ The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark (TIOLI Challenge #3: a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word: means/names, 12/12 Guardian)
☛ ♫ Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (TIOLI Challenge #15: Read a book that has the Letters in TIOLI as doubles in the title or Author's Name, 12/12 Guardian)
☛ ♫ Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (TIOLI #13: Island Challenge, 12/12 Guardian)
☛ ✔ Walkabout by James Vance Marshall (TIOLI Challenge #6, 12/12 new edition)
☛ ✔ Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh (Challenge #6: Read a book whose author's surname has a "Scrabble value" of 12 or more, 12/12 Category #12)
☛ ✔ The Secret River by Kate Grenville (TIOLI Challenge #3: Secret/erects, 12/12 Category #12: From My Treasure-Trove)
☛ ✔ Zarafa: A Giraffe's True Story by Michael Allin (TIOLI Challenge #5: Read a book with an Ungulate in the title or on the cover, 12/12 Category #6: Going Places)
✔ Le Grand livre de la tendresse by Jacques Salomé - Picked by LauraBrook (12/12 Picked by) - unfinished
✔ The Group of Seven and Tom Thomson by David P. Silcox (12/12 Visual Treats) - get started on it

Additional Fantasy February Suggestions

☛ ℮ The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole (TIOLI Challenge #3: Read a book with a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word, 12/12 Young at Heart)
☛ ❉ The Seeing Stone (The Spiderwick Chronicles #2) by Holly Black, Tony DiTerlizzi (TIOLI Challenge #3, 12/12 Young at Heart)
♫ The Difference Engine by William Gibson (Fantasy February, 12/12 Young at Heart))
☛ ♫ The City & The City by China Mieville (TIOLI Challenge #6, 12/12 Young at Heart)
♫ Doomsday Book by Connie Willis (TIOLI #19 Nebula Award, 12/12 Young at Heart)
☛ ♫ Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (TIOLI Challenge #3: Castle/cleats, 12/12 Young at Heart) - unfinished
♫ The Magician's Nephew by C. S. Lewis (12/12 Young at Heart)
☛ ✔ Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin (TIOLI Challenge #15, 12/12 Young at Heart)
☛ ✔ Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman (TIOLI Challenge #3: Frost/forts, 12/12 Young at Heart)
☛ ✔ Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld (TIOLI Challenge #6, 12/12 Young at Heart)




Suggested reads for March

☛ The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon, TIOLI #6: title word that is a heterograph/homonym (same pronunciation, different spelling, different meaning))
☛ ✔ Christine Falls by Benjamin Black (group read, Mystery March, TIOLI #1: author born in a city whose name contains a letter from the word “March”)
☛ ✔ The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi (12/12 group read, TIOLI Challenge #1)
☛ ✔ Troubles by J. G. Farrell (group read, TIOLI #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library or planned 2012 reading list)
❉ La traduction est une histoire d'amour by Jacques Poulin (12/12 Litérature Française)
☛ ♫ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (TIOLI #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library, 12/12 Tea with Georgie, Vickie & Eddie)
☛ ♫ All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque (TIOLI #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library, 12/12: The First Half)
☛ ♫ Bleak House by Charles Dickens (TIOLI #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library, 12/12 Tea with Georgie, Vickie & Eddie)
☛ ♫ Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Branddon (TIOLI #6: title word that is a heterograph/homonym—Audley/oddly, 12/12: Picked by avatiakh)

Additional Mystery March Suggestions

☛ ✔ Doctored Evidence by Donna Leon (TIOLI Challenge #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library, 12/12: The Dark Side)
☛ ✔ Clouds of Witness by Dorothy L. Sayers (Mystery March, TIOLI #1: author born in a city whose name contains a letter from the word “March” - Oxford)
☛ ♫ When Will There Be Good News? by Kate Atkinson (TIOLI Challenge #4: Read a book from JanetinLondon's library, 12/12: The Dark Side)

♫ = audiobook
✔ = off the shelf
❉ = library
℮ = eBook
☛ = TIOLI

2012 Planning

Steinbeckathon:
January: Cannery Row (208*) - Ilana/Smiler69**
February: The Wayward Bus (288) - Mark/msf59
March: The Winter of Our Discontent (304) - Lynda/Carmenere
April: The Moon is Down (112) - Linda/lindapanzo
May: The Grapes of Wrath (496) - Ellen/EBT1002
June: Of Mice and Men (112) - Brit/weejane
July: East of Eden (640) - Ellen
August: The Red Pony (112) - Ilana
September: In Dubious Battle (384) - Mark
October: Tortilla Flat (224) - Tania/wookiebender
November: Travels With Charley and The Pearl (256 + 96) - Ilana
December: Sweet Thursday (288) - Mark

* approximate # of pages
** names indicate who will be heading up the threads.

Anyone is welcome to join in at any point, for as many or as few books as is desired.


Group Reads
January: Orange January, The Secret River by Kate Grenville (75ers), Cannery Row by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
February: Fantasy February, The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
March: Christine Falls by Benjamin Black, The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi (12/12), The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
April: The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery (12/12), David Copperfield (75ers), The Moon is Down by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
May: Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez (12/12), A Game of Hide and Seek by Elizabeth Taylor (Virago Modern Classics)
June: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (12/12, tutored read), Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
July: East of Eden by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon), Charlotte Gray by Sebastian Faulks (12/12), Angel by Elizabeth Taylor (Virago Modern Classics)
August: The Red Pony by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon), Middlemarch by George Eliot (12/12)
September: In Dubious Battle by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon), Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams (12/12)
October: Blindness by José Saramago (12/12), Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
November: Travels With Charley and The Pearl by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)
December: Sweet Thursday by John Steinbeck (Steinbeckathon)


Books my fellow LT pals picked from my shelves for 12/12:
Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood - Picked by MickyFine
Études de Femmes by Honoré de Balzac - Picked by bucket yell
The Global Forest by Diana Beresford-Kroeger - Picked by msf59
Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Branddon - Picked by avatiakh
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John Le Carré - Picked by casvelyn
Arabian Nights: Four Tales from a Thousand and One Nights by Marc Chagall - Picked by Donna828
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley - Picked by DragonFreak
The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver - Picked by calm
No Great Mischief by Alasdair MacLeod - Picked by KiwiNyx
The Glass Room by Simon Mawer - Picked by DeltaQueen50
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk - Picked by Deern
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende - Picked by LauraBrook
Blindness by José Saramago - Picked by Whisper1
Caravan of Dreams of Idries Shah - Picked by PiyushChourasia
The Amulet of Samarkand (The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Book 1) by Jonathan Stroud - Picked by -Eva-
Candide by Voltaire - Picked by Fourpawz2
Native Son by Richard Wright - Picked by EBT1002
Maus: A Survivor's Tale by Art Spiegelman - Picked by bohemima

Books Read in 2012:

January
1. A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin ★★★★⅓ (review) ☀
2. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett ★★★★ (review) ☀
3. ♫ Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson ★★★ (review) ☀
4. The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi ★★★¾ (review) ☀
5. ♫ Fight Club by Chuck Palaniukh ★★★½ (review) ☀
6. The Art of Reading: Forty Illustrators Celebrate RIF's 40th Anniversary by Reading Is Fundamental ★★★★ (review)
7. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck ★★★★⅓ (review) ☀
8. ♫ To Fear a Painted Devil by Ruth Rendell ★★★⅓ (review) ☀
9. No One Noticed the Cat by Anne McCaffrey ★★★¾ (review) ☀
10. ♫ Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick ★★★★ (review) ☀
11. From the Mouth of the Whale by Sjón ★★★ (review) ☀
12. ♫ On Canaan's Side by Sebastian Barry ★★★★½ (review) ☀
13. ♫ The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips by Michael Morpurgo ★★★ (review) ☀
14. ♫ Shakespeare: The World as Stage by Bill Bryson ★★★★⅓ (review) ☀
15. ♫ Brazzaville Beach by William Boyd ★★★★½ (review) ☀
16. Paris: Made by Hand by Pia Jane Bijkerk ★★★★ (review) ☀
Madlenka's Dog by Peter Sís ★★★★ (review)
Madlenka Soccer Star by Peter Sís ★★★ (comments)
Rikki-Tikki-Tavi by Rudyard Kipling, Illustrated by Jerry Pinkney ★★★★ (comments)
Grandfather's Journey by Allen Say ★★★½ (comments)
17. ♫ The Edwardians by Vita Sackville-West ★★★⅞ (review)

Unfinished
♫ Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
♫ Soulless by Gail Carriger




Books with touchstones are rated 4.5 and up.

Books I'd like to read in 2012 (ambitious, as always)

✔ Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
✔ The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck
The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck
✔ The Moon is Down by John Steinbeck
✔ Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
✔ East of Eden by John Steinbeck
✔ The Red Pony by John Steinbeck
In Dubious Battle by John Steinbeck
✔ Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck
Travels With Charley by John Steinbeck
The Pearl by John Steinbeck
Sweet Thursday by John Steinbeck
✔ Christine Falls by Benjamin Black
✔ The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi
✔ The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
♫ David Copperfield
✔ Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
✔ A Game of Hide and Seek by Elizabeth Taylor
✔ Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel
✔ Angel by Elizabeth Taylor
♫ Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams
✔ Blindness by José Saramago
✔ Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood
✔ ♫ Études de Femmes by Honoré de Balzac
✔ The Global Forest by Diana Beresford-Kroeger
✔ ♫ Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Branddon
✔ Arabian Nights: Four Tales from a Thousand and One Nights by Marc Chagall
✔ Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
✔ The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
✔ No Great Mischief by Alasdair MacLeod
✔ The Glass Room by Simon Mawer
✔ ♫ Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
✔ Le Grand livre de la tendresse by Jacques Salomé -unfinished
✔ Blindness by José Saramago
✔ Caravan of Dreams of Idries Shah
✔ The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud
✔ Candide by Voltaire
✔ Native Son by Richard Wright
✔ Maus: A Survivor's Tale by Art Spiegelman
❉ Une page d'amour by Émile Zola
✔ Nana by Émile Zola
✔ Pot-Bouille by Émile Zola
❉ Au Bonheur des Dames by Émile Zola
❉ La joie de vivre by Émile Zola
❉ Old Filth by Jane Gardam
✔ Mister Pip by Lloyd Jones
✔ The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
✔ Living Well is the Best Revenge by Calvin Tomkins
✔ Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh
✔ Troubles by J. G. Farrell
✔ A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes
✔ A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
✔ Queenpin by Megan Abbott
✔ ♫ Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
✔ ♫ Persuasion by Jane Austen
✔ Timbuktu by Paul Auster
✔ Moon Palace by Paul Auster
✔ Chasing Vermeer by Blue Balliett
✔ Jamrach's Menagerie Carol Birch
✔ The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
✔ Angels & Insects by A. S. Byatt
✔ Possession by A. S. Byatt
✔ Call for the Dead by John le Carré
✔ A Murder of Quality by John le Carré
✔ ♫ The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John Le Carré
✔ The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
✔ ♫ Running Blind by Lee Child
✔ ♫ A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
✔ The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan
✔ The Red Queen by Margaret Drabble
✔ Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
✔ Clouds of Witness by Dorothy L. Sayers
✔ Atonement by Ian McEwan
✔ Music & Silence by Rose Tremain
✔ The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende

♫ = audiobook
✔ = off the shelf
❉ = library
℮ = eBook

Books Acquired in 2012




January
1. ♫ Persuasion by Jane Austen (Au)
2. ♫ Just Kids by Patti Smith (Au)
3. A Murder of Quality and Call for the Dead by John le Carré (CI)
4. ♫ Soulless by Gail Carriger (Au) - Unfinished
5. The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck (BD) - Read February 2012
6. An Ermine of Czernopol by Gregor von Rezzori (BD)
7. A Russian Journal by John Steinbeck and Cornell Cappa (BD)
8. The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey (BD)

February
9. The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck (BD)
10. ♫ Doomsday Book by Connie Willis (Au) - Read February 2012
11. ♫ Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds (Au)
12. At Large and at Small — Confessions of a Literary Hedonist by Anne Fadiman (CI)
13. Emma by Jane Austen (White's Fine Edition) (BD)
14. Hella Jongerius: Misfit by Louise Schouwenberg (CI)
15. The Bay of Angels by Anita Brookner (BWB)
16. Leaving Home by Anita Brookner (BWB)
17. ♫ This Sceptred Isle Vol 1 by Christopher Lee (Au) - Read February 2012
18. ♫ Dracula by Bram Stoker (Au)
19. ♫ This Sceptred Isle Vol 2 by Christopher Lee (Au)
20. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë (White's Fine Edition) (BD)
21. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (White's Fine Edition) (CI)
22. Emma by Jane Austen (Penguin Threads) (BD)
23. The Secret Garden (Penguin Threads) (BD)
24. Black Beauty (Penguin Threads) (BD)
25. The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck (BD)
26. Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys (BD)
27. ♫ Bleak House by Charles Dickens (Au)
28. ♫ The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh (Au)
29. ♫ 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (Au)
30. ♫ Middlemarch by George Eliot (Au)
31. ♫ The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins (Au)

Au = Audible
BD = BookDepository
CI = ChaptersIndigo
BWB = Better World Books




Books Read from My Shelves in 2012




January
1. A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin (entry date: 2011-09-09)
2. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett (entry date: 2008-12-16)
3. ♫ Fight Club by Chuck Palaniukh (entry date: 2011-03-09)
4. ♫ Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick (entry date: 2011-09-18)
5. Paris: Made by Hand by Pia Jane Bijkerk (entry date: 2009-05-20)

February
6. L'Assommoir by Émile Zola (entry date: 2010-10-15)
7. ♫ The Difference Engine by William Gibson (entry date: 2011-06-11)
8. ♫ The Quiet American by Graham Greene (entry date: 2011-10-30)
9. ♫ Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier (entry date: 2011-06-16)
10. The Secret River by Kate Grenville (entry date: 2009-05-26)
11. ♫ Études de Femmes by Honoré de Balzac (entry date: 2011-06-23)
12. ♫ The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark (entry date: 2011-03-30)

March
13. Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh (entry date: 2008-11-12)

Hi Sweet Lady!

I'm first :)
Nice leading painting ... Getting to like Icart.

I'm second! Hope your headache is disappearing fast!

Hallo. doll...love the girls, up top!!

I found this today, whilst trolling the 'net:



;-}

#8 Hi Claudia! Coco and I are off for a walk shortly, sit tight and we can have tea later maybe? Or do you want to come along with us? ;-)

#9 Hi Roni! The headache has become very bearable, thanks. I'm used to living with a certain amount of pain—as long as it leaves me able to function then I'm happy.

#10 That's very sweet Jude... almost TOO sweet coming from you! Should I be worried?? ;-)

Meet you & Coco outside ;-)

well now, i'm just a little bit hurt (sniff sniff)....i thought it was sweet, sure...but the ladder at the window sort of spelled "elopement" to me, or somebody sneaking in...or maybe my speller's "off" today....

;-P

#12 We're back and having Shepherd's Pie with Swiss chard. There's plenty if you'd like some.

#13 Not to worry Jude. I like it, you posted it with love, and that's all that matters :-)

Hi There.

Just a note to say I'm thinking of you today.

Happy Valentine's Day

22. The Wayward Bus by John Steinbeck ★★★★⅓
(Read for Steinbeckathon, TIOLI Challenge #6: Read a book whose author's surname has a "Scrabble value" of 12 or more, and 12/12 Category #1: The First Half)

Set within the course of a single day, from pre-dawn until just after dusk, Steinbeck throws together a group of ten people and describes their battles, both with their inner demons and among each other for maximum dramatic effect. Alice and Juan Chicoy own a diner and garage at Rebel Corners, California where they feed travellers and shuttle them down a fifty-mile road on their old beat-up second-hand bus re-christined "Sweetheart". After introducing us to the place and to it's owners—Alice, who runs the restaurant; husband Juan, who operates the bus and is half-mexican and half Irish; their employees "Pimples" Carson, an oversexed crater-faced teenager and Norma, a plain girl who spends her free time writing letters to the object of her every thought, Clark Gable—the author throws us directly into a crisis. This is the morning after a failed attempt to ferry five passengers to San Juan de la Cruz. The bus having broken down, Juan was forced to drive back to Rebel Corners to fix the vehicle, and not knowing what to do with the passengers, the couple have put them up to sleep in their own quarters and spent the night sleeping on chairs themselves. Everyone is cranky before breakfast has even begun being served and we immediately get a feeling for the characters and some of the dynamics at play. There's the Pritchard family of three, who are on their way to vacation in Mexico. Eliot Pritchard is an uptight businessman who calls his wife Bernice "little girl". We're given to understand they rarely, if ever have sex, because Bernice finds it distasteful. Their grown daughter Mildred still lives at home, but is at odds with her conservative parents and yearns to find her own place in life and gain as many experiences as she can while she's young. Ernest Horton is on the face of it a traveling salesman for a novelties company, but he also wears a pin which signifies he's been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for military valour. There's also cranky old Mr. Van Brunt, who doesn't like anything and is convinced everything will go wrong.

Into this already combustible mix, another traveller makes her appearance after being dropped off by a Greyhound bus from nearby San Ysidro. Known to us under the false name of Camille Oaks, this blonde bombshell passes herself off as a dental nurse, but actually makes her living as a stripper (she's played by Jane Mansfield in what is considered to be a very bad movie adaptation). Before anyone has had time to finish breakfast, Alice has managed to cause a couple of major scenes, one of which prompts her waitress Norma to quit her job. A deeply neurotic and insecure woman who thinks her husband might leave her at any moment, Alice is immediately threatened by Camille Oaks' presence and is convinced that Juan has designs on her. Yet the thing she looks forward to most is to see everybody off so she can get stinking drunk. By the time everyone's gotten on the bus, has found their seats and settled in for the ride, we're already more than halfway through this short novel; we don't know if the passengers will make it to their destination, but we know they're in for a memorable ride. Someone mentioned on the Steinbeckathon thread that this novel seems like a precursor to reality shows, which I think is a very good observation. All the characters are flawed and not easy to like, but they offer a fascination look into the human psyche. Much recommended.

A great review, Ilana. I am having major difficulties writing my own, maybe because the book s still constantly on my mind and my thoughts on it haven't "settled" yet. Maybe I'll just post links to those reviews that expressed my own thoughts best, your's would be among them.

My notebook again refuses to show me the complete picture in the entry post, but I like the bit I can see. Will visit you again later from my office PC.

Have a good and headache-free Wednesday!

Ilana - congratulations on the new thread. Enjoyed your review of The Wayward Bus - Steinbeck couldn't put a foot wrong could he?

Hi Ilana,

The painting reminds me of Bjork's swan dress- a pre-cursor maybe?

Your lists (as usual) amaze me....I'm guessing "Leviathan" from your Fantasy February Suggestions list isn't the one about whales that my dad has recommended me....I saw Steampunk amongst the tags so have to steer clear I'm afraid.

Also on my "read soon list" I have Middlesex and A Tale of Two Cities, and I have to admit I am becoming very drawn to Steinbeck thanks to the Steinbeck-a-thon! I'm thinking maybe I'll join the March read of The Winter of our Discontent. Crikey- I am reading more books than ever at present.

Hi Ilana lovely image to open your thread. Skipping the Wayward Bus review as I still have to read it.

Hope you have a good day.

Very nice review of The Wayward Bus! It's difficult to describe how Steinbeck packed so much into just one small period of time, isn't it? I liked the book, but not the story, so I was so interested to see what other people thought of it. Steinbeck's writing is amazing because whether you like the story or not, you just can't stop thinking about those characters. And I think that was probably what he intended.

Hi Ilana.
I didn't read your whole review, but I was struck by the first sentence -- that the story occurs in the space of one day. I'm currently reading Losing Battles by Eudora Welty which occurs in the space of two days, I believe. It's an interesting approach to a novel and one I think I tend to like. Of course, I can't think of other examples right now, but I know I've read them..... :-D

I hope you have a good day. As usual, I love the art you selected for the top of your new thread.

xoxo

One more note - I went back and read the tail end of your prior thread and re: your comment about Downton Abbey: Downton Abbey proved to be just what the doctor ordered yesterday. So much melodrama! Sometimes I cringe as I watch because of how contrived it is, but I guess it's part of the appeal.

You hit the nail right on the head, as far as I'm concerned. I adore this series and yet there is a little part of me sitting off to the side laughing at myself. But it's so refreshing to so thoroughly enjoy watching something. As I believe is true with many or most of our LT community, I'm not much of a telly-watcher. DA has proved to be a good escape for a stressful few weeks.

I hope your migraine is long gone.

Great review of The Wayward Bus, Ilana. Thumb from me.

#17 Hi Nathalie, I'm glad you liked the review. It was weighing on me since I finished the book last week and I had no idea what I'd say about it, so as those things usually go, I just sat down and wrote whatever popped into my head. I find it intimidating to write a review when so many others are doing the same about the same book, so best is to just plunge right in. I'm sure you'll do more than fine with your own, which I'll look forward to reading.

#18 Steinbeck couldn't put a foot wrong could he?

Paul, I'd be tempted to say I agree with you, but for the fact that there are quite a few of his books I have yet to discover, and of course I can't know for sure that they will all appeal to me. But so far so good! I posted about the Steinbeckathon on my blog last night so who knows? we might get a few more recruits to join in the fun!

#19 Megan, I had to go refresh my memory about that swan dress on google and: NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!! That thing was a disaster. These ladies here are the epitome of chic. Two worlds apart! That being said, who knows where Bjork got her inspiration, could very well be.

I'm of two minds about compiling that list of books I'd like to read this year. I did the same last year and only got to a very small fraction of the books I'd listed. But on the other hand, with so many books on hand, I tend to forget which ones I want to get to soonest. Since I like making lists, I guess there's no harm in making one more. Whether I'll follow it or not is hardly the point! :-)

Steampunk: I don't know yet whether this is a genre that appeals to me or not. I've only read the one book so far (The Difference Engine) which didn't do much for me, so we'll see...

Of course you are more than welcome to join us for Our Winter of Our Discontent or any of the other Steinbecks we'll be featuring. Not too late for The Wayward Bus either with two weeks left to this month!

#20 Hi calm, I hope you enjoy The Wayward Bus when you get to it. One thing's for sure: it doesn't seem to leave anyone indifferent.

#21 Mamie, I have to say that this month hasn't been all smooth on the reading front for me as I'm having some difficulty getting into some of my reads, but Steinbeck didn't pose a problem at all. With two home runs to start our Steinbeckathon with, it makes me more eager still to keep going.

#22 Ellen, I really look forward to your take on The Wayward Bus. I know you've been following some of our discussions on the thread and hope we haven't influenced you one way or the other.

#23 Dowtnon Abbey is definitely a guilty pleasure. It's the only television I've watched in months, and I don't even actually watch it on TV, but that'll change when they start airing A Game of Thrones season 2 in April. Talk about a radical change of style!

#24 Thanks for the thumb Joe. There are lots of great WB reviews cropping up this month and lots more to look forward to!

Well, unfortunately I woke up with a migraine again today. I don't feel like I can complain though, because the only obligation I have is to take Coco out for a few walks, and other than that, I can just lay on my couch and sleep or read and futz about all I want.

I'm almost finished with The Secret River. I can say objectively that it's an excellent book, but for reasons I don't understand I haven't really connected with it. I'm still glad I finally picked it up, but I also look forward to moving on. Goodness knows there's no lack of options to follow it up with; the trickiest part will be choosing what to pick next. One thing's for sure: I'm not likely to get through even half the list of books I've suggested as possibilities for this month, but half the fun is listing them, so no matter.

The Secret River again, from which I've been reading for just under an hour. It's been a difficult read, and now I've only got 30 or so pages to go, but it's building up to something so horrific and heinous that I don't think I can stomach the rest. No, I don't think I can stomach it.

I'll set it aside for a few days and start on something else, and we'll see if I have the heart to finish it some other time. But not now.

Wow Ilana you can get 300+ pages into a book and lay it aside because you dread the ending - remarkable fortitiude I must say.

Arrghh....Ilana .. can you really set it aside and finish it later? Will it not weigh and prey on your mind?

I love the Icart picture.

Yes, to answer you both, Paul and Caro, it HAS been preying on my mind all day now. I read other things, a couple of graphic novels I have from the library, by artists Allen Say and Peter Sís, but the book is sitting there staring at me and daring me to just get on with it. But really, should it feel like such a chore? is all I ask. :-P

eta: and Paul, you're very kind to say I'm showing "fortitude". I thought it was more like cowardice on my part...

Ilana - one adjective to describe you could never be cowardly - I think my adjective suits you better!

Boo on waking up with a migraine, whatever you've got to do.

And Bjorks swan dress? I admire its...individuality (if nothing much else!)

Hi Ilana- Lots of stuff going on here! Great review of 'The Bus". Sorry to say but I haven't completed my review yet. Bad Mark. I hope you finish The Secret River and end up loving it. Fingers crossed.

I finished Drawing from Memory by Allen Say today, which I'll be counting toward my 75. I liked it but did not love. I'll say more in a short review soon. Also started The Wall: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain by Peter Sís. Interesting, both of them memoirs by artists who became famous illustrators, and of course their approach couldn't be more different, which is to be expected. That being said, I'm definitely loving the Peter Sís book.

Received two pre-ordered books from BookDepository today, Angel and A Game of Hide and Seek, both by Elizabeth Taylor.

#31 Have it your way Paul. :-P

That being said, I think I won't tarry on LT tonight, having spent quite a bit of time here today already, I'll hurry up to finish The Secret River so I can then immediately start on another one before bed, that way if the imagery is too frightful, I'll at least have ended the day on something else.

#32 Agreed about Bjork's dress. Now that must be a very strong person indeed!

#33 I wouldn't say "bad Mark" Mark, me least of all since I'm always running behind on my own reviews. Besides, relax, you're supposed to be on vacation!

Ilana, your review of The Wayward Bus makes me want to read it all over again. I'm already beginning to look forward to The Winter of Our Discontent for the March read.

Great review of The Wayward Bus - if I hadn't know about the Steinbeckathon and hence had not read it myself I would read it now. Don't remember exactly whose idea it was to have the Steinbeckathon, ( will bet it was you), but it was a genius idea. I never would have thought of reading any of this stuff on my own and it's really so good!.

I've got The Secret River around here somewhere and am intrigued by the prospect of a heinous ending.

Love the picture at the top of your thread - all that orange color. Love orange.

And as for Bjork's dress - it was a horror, but who can remember any of the lovely dresses from that year - or almost any other one? It was a train wreck, but so memorable. It was so awful, I kind of liked it. Guess I'll never be accused to good taste.

Hope you are feeling better today.

I feel the same as you about the lists..... I did go so far as to make a space on a shelf for my 'February reads' -- trying to choose a balanced selection. So far I've read exactly ONE of them. Sigh.

Hi Ilana!
I've tried to overlook your review on Wayward Bus until I finish the book (almost there). But everyone is raving about your review I am sooo tempted to peek ;-)

I intensely dislike the Bjork swan dress... it looks shocking, deadly, and depressing. It's the head part that gets me :P
But, I love Icart's apparel above... with a little more support over the shoulders - lol.

Lucy - I tried something similar several months ago on my nightstand. I picked out about half a dozen books to read for the month - and only got to a couple. The rest I'm still dusting off - and should just return them to the shelf. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

#35 makes me want to read it all over again

I must say Donna, that coming from the woman of the steaming hot hot review, that's quite a compliment! :-)

#36 Charlotte, what I remember about the genesis of the Steinbeckathon is that I had just finished reading The Grapes of Wrath last year and absolutely adored it, as you may remember. I was participating in the Austenathon and wanting to discover a lot more work by Steinbeck, threw the idea around. Quite a few people seemed interested. But when it came down to organizing the thing, I balked, and Ellen and Mark came in to help and saved the show. Whether that's the version they'll be writing down in history books or not remains to be seen. ;-)
All joking aside, I found the two first books we've covered very rewarding experiences, and the fact that so many others joined in and were also impressed makes the experience that much more awesome.

I saw various versions of the Icart picture up top online, and am not sure whether it's supposed to be orange or red or somewhere in between, so when came time to spruce it up a tad in Photoshop (which I do with most of the pictures I post online), I just went for maximum impact. Unless someone has seen an original somewhere, I guess we'll never know whether I got close to the real thing or not.

#37 Lucy, I have a permanent spot reserved for "books of the month". Usually the pile ends up being absurdly tall, but this month I kept it down to just 4-5 books, and have already gotten to a couple of them, which feels like a huge accomplishment by comparison with my usual. Next to that pile, is another pile of "books I want to get to asap" (meaning, books that were in the "book of the month" pile that were pushed over). That one is a fair bit more depressing because most books on it have been sitting there for at least six months to a year.

Since my credit card got paid off after seeing my banker this week, I've been itching to splurge on some more new books, but counter-balancing that urge is also the equally strong desire to clear off books from my tbr...

#38 Claudia! I'll look forward to your thoughts on The Wayward Bus. No worries about my review; it'll still be there by the time you're done reading it. ;-)

Icart doesn't seem like he was a strong proponent for dresses that covered all the parts, as most of his women are displayed in various stages of undress. Last month's illustration was downright prim, and this one is still relatively tame in comparison with most of his other stuff I've seen... don't want to shock my LT friends! :-)

I finally did as I had decided last night and finished The Secret River. The scene I dreaded reading about was every bit as violent and depressing as I thought it would be, but then the novel went on for a bit and came to a satisfactory ending. I'll have to let that one stew for a bit before I can sit down and write down my thoughts about it.

After that, I went straight to two other books. One is a book of essays called Le grand livre de la tendresse, or "The Big Book of Tenderness" and presents the idea that tenderness is something that should exist in all levels of life and in society at large, as opposed to being restricted to the mother/child bond. Interesting premise. It's a book that was picked from my shelves for my 12/12 challenge and which I might have never picked out otherwise, and I'll be reading it slowly, one essay at a time for as long as it takes to get through it.

I also picked up Mister Blue by Jacques Poulin which I'm finding very enjoyable. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say it's the first time I've read a books by a French Canadian author. If I have before, I don't remember. That part of it is a bit strange to me, since it's a part of my culture and identity which I've had very little contact with. The novel is beautifully written.

There was a discussion over on Caroline's thread, with some people wondering why the title had been translated to present the name of the narrator's cat. Darryl and I suggested that it was probably meant as a close translation from the French title, to mean "Old Sorrow" or "The Old Sorrow". It turns out that's the name of the narrator's cat in the original French text too, so the English translation, where they call the cat "Mister Blue" is actually completely true to the original. Don't know if this makes sense if you haven't read the book, but otherwise it should.

I am very relieved that you've finished The Secret River, Ilana. Yes, you were the one reading it but I was starting to feel a little antsy on your behalf about finishing it. I'm doubly relieved that despite the dreaded scene meeting your expectation, the book was overall a satisfying read for you.

I looked out for some Steinbeck at the library sale this morning, but alas only found a ratty copy of The Grapes of Wrath. Thought I'd be better off buying a nice copy so left it :(

A lovely review of The Wayward Bus, Ilana. I last read Steinbeck in my younger years, but have never heard of this one before, or a few others on the list. He is a great author and I hope to find the time to join one of the Steinbeckathon reads.

I did finish The Wayward Bus today - and loved it. I'm rating it a smidge lower than Cannery Row, but I have the feeling it's because I have only read it once. Each reading of a Steinbeck book brings me greater appreciation. :)

Now I just have to write a review so I can read yours!

#41 Caro, your message made me laugh! Have you read that book yourself?

#42 Megan, I think you did the right think leaving that ratty copy behind. The Grapes of Wrath is one of those books that should be read and re-read and read again and again, so it's worth holding out for a nice copy or even splurge on a good edition. I might do that myself, because I had an old ratty copy that I'd gotten via BookMooch—had been told it was in great condition and when it arrived here I just wanted to cry. So I read it and passed it on, thinking I'd get another copy for myself eventually.

#43 Linda, thanks for dropping by and commenting on my review. I hope to see you around one of the Steinbeckathon threads this year!

#44 I'm so glad you loved The Wayward Bus Cee! I completely agree about Steinbeck getting better with every reading. I said I wouldn't read The Grapes of Wrath again this year because I read it just this last year, but I'm tempted to go ahead and re-read it anyway... we shall see...

I'm way behind on my review of Rebecca and it takes not time for a backlog to accumulate. I might try my hand at it tonight if I can get it done quickly.




I ended up having a really fun day with Coco today. Started the day with a migraine, but it was much more tolerable and quickly subsided. It was a warm day, spring-like really, so I decided to take some books from my donation pile to bring them to a local library and drop by the pet supply store to exchange some kibbles Coco hadn't liked. It was nice just being outside and not having to wear gloves and getting away with just a light winter coat. I ended up doing a whole bunch of errands I usually put off, and Coco is always so good and so patient that I can bring him pretty much everywhere. It was quite gross and slushy outside, so I wore my wellies to get around. I love wearing those boots for some reason, and they usually put me in a good mood, don't really know why.

Then coming home, we passed by in front of the Harricana store, which is five minutes from my house. They create apparel from used fur coats, remodelling them into hats, mitts, scarves, vests, jackets and new coats of course. They also use the interesting vintage silk or satin linings to make tops, dresses, skirts... I got an aviator hat from them a couple of years ago that I always wear in the coldest weather. I usually avoid the store—too much temptation but I saw they were having a 50% sale today. The saleslady who was there turned out to be a neighbour who lives just across the street from me, and we had a really great chat. Very nice woman. I tried on this cashmere sweater with long side panels that are buttoned together and can be worn a whole bunch of different ways. Had to have it, so got it. I also truly needed a pair of warm mitts, my hands have been freezing all winter, so got a great pair lined with fur and with fur around the wrists. Pretty, and perfect for our Canadian winters. Then I got into dangerous territory with an asymmetrical knitted mink vest that was just to die for and which I can imagine wearing all the time, even with my usual jeans and Ts, which is what I was wearing today. That I put aside and will go back tomorrow once I've slept over it tonight, but I'm pretty set on getting it. There was also a gorgeous little kimono top which was actually paired with the vest, but of course can be worn separately... oh, so much temptation! I haven't purchased clothes in a good while, so I'm due for a bit of a splurge. Or so I decided.

I'm not exactly a fan of fur, and can't see myself buying a new fur coat really, but the fact that these furs are actually recycled really appeals to me. I've come across the occasional rabid anti-fur person who's given me a hard time for wearing my hat, or a fur stole I have or the trim on my coat or whatever, but it's a personal choice and my conscience is clear, so that's that.

I'm sorry about the super long post. This is the kind of thing I really ought to put on my blog, but the truth is I feel uncomfortable sharing this with family members or might disapprove for a whole slew of reasons. Pics below show me with my Harricana hat fooling around with a phone application with my friend Kim a couple of years ago (just before I got Coco), and a model wearing Harricana from head to toe (NOT something I'd ever do), with their signature hat, and the vest looks a lot like the one I tried on, only "mine" is much nicer!

  

Aw, shucks. All this time I could have been writing reviews. Ah well.

Thanks for good advice on buying a nice copy of good books, you dont regret doing that. I totally understand you wanting to cry receiving a tatty copy....book surprises of that nature are uncalled for!

Then I got into dangerous territory with an asymmetrical knitted mink vest
Go for it! Sounds great.

Fun pics of you and friend, they look like photo booth ones.

There's always tomorrow for reviews :)

SWMBO would enjoy your company Ilana - your shopping adventures are the stuff she would thrive upon. Like the photos too - bottom right especially - nice profile!xx

Never thought I'd say this but your clothes shopping sounds fun and a 50% sale is too good to miss when you can get something you need.

Have a good day and keep warm:)

#47 book surprises of that nature are uncalled for!

Megan, that's on of the reason I don't really use BookMooch anymore. Seems there is an incredible discrepancy on what is considered "in perfect condition" for books. I wish I didn't care about that, but at least I've gotten somewhat better and have relaxed my standards a bit.

The pics were taken with an app that has a function just like a photo booth. You set it up and it takes variable amounts of photos according to the setting you choose with time delays. I used it for all kinds of things and got plenty of fun results. I'll dig up some photos I took of my cat Mimi at the time and post one or two—very artistic!

#48 You know Paul, I don't know if you're like me, but there are plenty of moments when I'm doing other things besides hanging out on LT when things in RL make me think of you guys, and yesterday while I was shopping, I knew that the moment I mentioned my adventure, you'd say something about SWMBO and how we'd get along famously! Am I a mind reader or what?! :-)

#49 calm, clothes shopping used to be my favourite of all activities (yes, more than reading—in fact I wasn't reading much at the time), but I'm not so fond of it anymore. However, in the right shop, with the right kind of well designed and crafted clothes and the right kind of service, and some leeway on the credit card, it can indeed be quite delightful. Still, a book addiction comes out a fair bit cheaper than regular clothes shopping!




Feeling much better today. Still a bit headachy, but no more than the usual, which leaves me able to function and still able to enjoy life too, so all's well. I told my dad I was well enough to go to the movies today, so looks like we'll finally get to see The Artist...

Oh, i love seeing pics of you, my friend!

I have no problem with fur coats, etc....I have an old fur coat, disintegrating in an upstairs closet, because I'm afraid to touch it....still looks lovely so i keep it for Eye Candy!

I hate to shop...maybe because there are so few options, here, for,quality shopping. The Mall gives me a migraine (too much stuff....too many unhappy people)....If i could tolerate a "big city" I'd jump at the chance...but I am such a hermit.....I'll stick to online shopping for now

Going waaay back up to #22....Losing Battles is a very good read....

;-}

Ilana, I really enjoyed reading about your shopping expedition. Your excitement at your finds really comes through. And the pictures were an added bonus. Is the photo app on your iPhone?

I also agree with you about the variation in definitions of what "good condition" means for a book. I'm a member of PaperbackSwap and it's almost like a game of roulette. I never know what the book I've ordered will be like until I get it. Sometimes, I'm happily surprised and other times can't decide if I should just throw the book out and get another copy. PBS leaves it up to the members to work out any disagreements and it always seems like too much of a hassle to me for what amounts to a $4.00 item.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling well and hope you love seeing The Artist. I thought it was great and it's my favorite for winning the Oscar for Best Picture. Speaking of the Oscars, did you see this link for one of the five films nominated for Best Animated Short: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Adzywe9xeIU. It's called The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore and is about 15 minutes long but well worth watching.

Hi Ilana, not that I am an enabler or anything, but I think you should definitely get the vest. A great price and something that you will wear in many different ways - go for it!

Oh dear. The movie blew me away. It's so incredibly well done, and I see now that the title, The Artist, not only refers to the male protagonist, but also to the artistry of the director, the actors, the dog, you name it. I laughed, I cried, I sniffled, I giggled, and the lady next to me did the same. It's one of those movies you just have to see at the cinema on that huge screen. It's a must. I want to go back to see it a few times. I may invite a couple of different friends to go see it. Then I must go see Hugo too. I'll just go on my own. When are the Oscars again? I can just look it up, but not right this second.

✦ I don't expect everyone to go through the following screed. Skip over it absolutely guilt-free if you want. It's a sad story ✦

As most of my friends, regular visitors and lurkers (hi lurkers!) know, I'm a very sensitive person. Most would say overly so, and they wouldn't be wrong. Seeing my father is much like that game of roulette Pat mentions above (hi Pat!). It's impossible to say how it's going to go. This whole week has been one long migraine, going up and down and thankfully tapering off, AND it's that time of the month. We speak briefly every weekday morning, when he gives me a wakeup call, and I enjoy that simple regular contact, but I'd been putting off seeing him, because between one personal crisis and another, it never seemed to be the right time to see him. If I'm not balanced myself, chances are very strong things will go very wrong between us. One day maybe I'll learn how not to let him push my buttons. Maybe. Or it just might be that we're not made to get along in a sustainable way. It's not so much what he says, as the attitude of selfishness and utter disinterest in the effect his rudeness can have on people, and especially on me.

After the movie—which I knew for certain he must have adored, since he's always been a fan of cinema from it's very infancy, and The Artist is just a brilliant homage to the history of cinema as well as high in dramatic appeal, AND he didn't get up midway to go to the men's room—we separated to visit our mutual ladies' and men's corners. I was glowing from what I'd just seen, and couldn't wait to hear what he'd thought about it. The first thing he told me was, "yes yes, the movie was great, but I SUFFERED greatly though all of it". It's hard to convey the weight of this simple, so melodramatic it's almost funny sentence in mere words. You have to imagine the Israeli accent, and the gaunt, afflicted look, and the fact that he's always been an incredible hypochondriac, self-involved to the extreme, and now actually sick with prostate cancer for the past decade or so, though he's always refused to get medical treatment... and the accumulated baggage between us, and the fact that he's convinced I'm the one with all the problems, who's mentally unstable (which, according to him, I get from my mother), who overreacts to everything he says when he's just a simple, loving, peaceful guy (the way Steve Jobs was, more like). So that sentence, that very word, had the effect of dropping a huge turd into the evening. When really, all he was suffering from was needing to go to the bathroom, which nothing prevented him from doing (and which he usually does in the middle of any movie we go to, no big deal). It's hard to convey how much it upset me for him to focus on his pain, when he could easily have taken care of the affliction. I know it seems like I'm overreacting and the whole thing is incredibly trite. But it's also hard to convey how ugly things get between us in a mere flash, with me trying to talk reasonably and gently trying to steer the conversation on more suitable ground, him stubbornly insisting that his suffering is of prime importance, leading me to ranting like a maniac, leading him to hit below the belt with foul language thrown in for good measure, low blows crudely delivered one after the other. And always, always the look in the eyes and the utterances that really, he doesn't need this, and that I'm not worth all that trouble, and I'm just very very sick. Very sick, he doesn't need to deal with all this *shit*.

I... we each went our own way, with him screaming at me to just GO. GO AWAY WITH YOUR NONSENSE! I left the cinema, stood outside in front of one of the displays of the department store that's housed in the cinema complex, called my friend Kim, cried like a baby. She said I was overreacting. I said, it's not possible for me to have a relationship with someone who isn't willing to make the effort to be civil, polite, kind; who never has made the effort except when he felt so inclined. I'd rather not have any of his gifts and for him to just make an effort, just the same way I do for him, to try to make the best of things between us. I think I'll have to just stop communicating with him altogether for a while. Our relationship has always broken my heart, over and over and over again.

I'm so sorry to go on like this. Again, I'd put this on my blog, but don't want him to read this. Or then again, maybe he should, what do I know? Or maybe I should start an anonymous blog to pour my heart into, I don't know. I just feel so burdened by them both. Why must things be so complicated? So volatile? It can't just be me, can it? I can't be solely responsible for things being so hard between us?

I decided some retail therapy was in order. I went into the department store, which has lots of fun accessories very reasonably priced. But I looked a complete mess from crying so much. So first, walked in and grabbed the first thing I saw, then got a cabin, where I fixed myself up a little, called my hairdresser for an emergency appointment tomorrow (haven't seen her since April last year). Then went and got a bunch of pretty and cheap jewelry. A turquoise imitation bracelet, a couple of necklaces, a head scarf to wrap around my ponytail. I bought more than I need or will keep. I bought so I could play dress up at home and then return those items I know I'll never wear again. I'd already decided when I woke up today that I'd get the knit mink vest this evening. Now I was fully determined. It became an imperative, doctor's orders. I got home, took Coco around the block and when I arrived at the store, they'd just closed up. Anita, the wonderful lady I met there yesterday came to talk to me at the door. I told her I needed retail therapy, but their security system would't allow it, it's understandably a high-security setup. She asked me what was wrong, gave me a big hug, kissed me on the forehead. So sweet. I promised her I wouldn't show up on her doorstep every time there was drama in my life. The vest will be there tomorrow, and the day after that. But what about my broken heart?

Oh Ilana, I have such sympathy for your situation and admiration for your efforts to maintain such close contact with your father considering the circumstances.

I was never close to my father and never successful in relating to him and mostly kept my distance as a result. My anguish over this situation did lessen as I got older, probably starting in my late 40s. I think I finally got so tired of the whole thing, I was able to let most of it go. Of course, I also had a difficult relationship with my mother so that often took the focus off my father. Surprisingly when my mother started getting treated with medication for her Alzheimer's disease her personality changed for the better and that has made a huge difference in how I feel towards her.

I think both people have to be willing to meet the other halfway in a relationship and if one of them isn't even aware of that, it's pretty much an uphill battle. From my perspective, you are not overreacting and maybe do need to think about protecting yourself more. That said, my experience is that difficult family relationships can get better over time, mostly because you get better at dealing with them.

(((((Hugs)))))

Ilana - you know my position and views on your attributes and your need of love and validation from your dad is symptomatic of both that an everything else going on or off in your life - your work, your art, your heart, your relationships, your hopes, your fears and your needs. It is all about one step at a time; one moment at a time. Your story pulled the strings of my heart reading it and the vividity of my imagination is that I can see you pell-mell around town in the wee hours trying to put yourself back together. Always share your worries and problems dear dear lady as they do genuinely get halved. You have more people care for you than you would ever imagine. xxx

Jude, Pat, Judy, Paul, thanks so much for leaving messages. I'll reply individually tomorrow. I'm completely drained right now.

Pat and Paul, your latest messages brought tears to my eyes. The good kind that come from feeling understood and appreciated, validated... all those good things. Again, I'll reply soon.



I just now went to Chapters Indigo online and purchased two copies of a book on designer Hella Jongerius called Hella Jungerius, Misfit after seeing a link on Kerry's (avatiakh) thread. It so happens the book was published just a couple of days ago, on the 16th, based on an exhibit which was held in Rotterdam. One copy for me, and one for my friend Kim who is an environmental designer and who must already venerate this designer, who is apparently very well known in the right circles. It's rare I get organized enough to think of birthday presents in advance, but I'll be all set when May 15th comes around. They were also promoting some journals and stationery by Fringe Studio on the site, which I didn't know before but went gaga over, so I ordered the lot, thinking I'll sort through when it arrives and return whatever seems excessive. That's how retail therapy works over here.

In books, I've been seeing a lot of lists crop up by people who've looked over Janet's (JanetinLondon) collection and come up with a plan to read some of the books found there as a tribute to her. She and I shared 195 books, 113 of which she had rated 4 stars and up. It's late now, but I'll compile my own list of books from those numbers that I will try to add to my incredibly ambitious (as always) list for the year.

Below: images from the book







This is a video by the book's graphic designer, which is brilliant in the way it explains the approach taken for the book to fit with that of the artist it presents. No wonder Jungerius' design appeals to me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg8K5n6G6ow&feature=player_embedded

Love the pictures from the design book, reminds me of Escher....... Take care of yourself & embrace the words/thoughts of those that post here ... let them re-energise you.

Hi Ilana,
Just read your long post and really feel for you. Its so hard to read about your nice evening out deteriorating into what you described. I can picture it because Ive been there too....one comment and then another and then its all over. I hope you can recover from this particular episode and get back a good feeling with your father. Hard for you when he has insulted you personally....It would take a bigger person than me to forget comments like that.
Unfortunately I have no answers, but to hold on to yourself in all this and remember who you really are. Sensitive people suffer every day with what the insensitive think of as throwaway comments.

My sympathies also -- it's such a nightmare when things like that happen. Just one wrong word.

I inherited a bunch of furs from my mil - I read about this store with great interest. I can't figure out what to do with some of it. Do they do the 'make-overs' right there in the store?

I hope you have some delicious book to lose yourself in today.

Simply put: you are not overreacting. I get ****ed off when people simply focus on their own selfish, attention-seeking and negative problems when I KNOW they are blowing things out of all proportion for their own manipulative gain.

If he had needed to 'go' that badly, he would have gone. It was his choice to not go. Therefore it was entirely unnecessary to complain about it afterwards, when it was HIS decision that caused it. If you choose to put yourself in an avoidable position that is negative, for no good reason, I don't think you get to complain.

My mom had a teddy bear made from my grandmother's mink stole for me. It is a treasured remembrance piece. I have two pictures - one of me wrapped up in the stole when I was 2 and another when I was 16.

I think you're an incredibly strong woman, Ilana and it is so unfortunate that your parents cannot see the sensitive and loving person you are because of their own selfishness and need for attention to be solely focused on them.

I know we don't make up for the difficult relationship you have with your parents, but you are among friends who care about you here on LT, and you have a safe place to vent when you need, to reach out for comfort, or just for virtual hugs. Consider yourself well and truly enveloped in a big big hug.

Hang in there, Ilana. What Caro said. We're all supporting you.

"Consider yourself well and truly enveloped in a big big hug."

Oh I do. I really really do. And boy do I need it today. I feel asleep with big fat tears streaming down my face in the wee hours last night. Reading Mister Blue just before didn't help. There's a young girl in the story who's suffered abuse and keeps prodding the narrator for his most difficult memories. Kept waking up and crying again. Mimi always sleeps on top of me, and sometimes she'll lie alongside me and let me spoon her as she purrs away like a tiny love-motor, usually when I need it most. She slept like that with me all through the night, even as I tossed and turned and sobbed.

Alex, Megan, Lucy, Jenny, Morphi, Caro, Joe... and anyone who sends positive thoughts my way... it means a whole lot to me, is immensely helpful. If only to reassure me that I'm not completely off the mark. Again, I'll reply to you individually very soon. Right now, I'm just trying to cope moment by moment. I've been visiting threads and leaving comments here and there, trying to distract myself from the latest low blow in the form of an email from the paternal unit I just read a little while ago.

Instead of trying to describe it, I'll just post it here, lest anyone think I'm exaggerating things. His latest tack (well, the usual one actually) is to blame my mental illness and my choice to medicate as the source of all problems. Interestingly, though he and my mother don't have any contact that I know of, he brings her up here as well, for added emphasis:

"Hi Ilana ,
It is unfortunate that it takes a communication breakdown for you to come out with your real belief , as it happened list night.
I will look at the possible positive outcome of this ;
You are not willing to smooth things up , and hiding under wishful thinking.
You express yourself as you are in your state.
In the same way , if you give a tout to the effect of the drugs you take, and realize that they are in fact
masking your real problem , and making you a slave for life ( an opinion of your mother as well).
If you can see this , and take real steps to help yourself accordingly ;
You will begin to heal . " [sic]

I've told him repeatedly not to interfere in my choice of treatment and that it is out of bounds. I know enough about abusive relationships to know that the abuser usually turns around and blames the other as being responsible for things going wrong, usually using arguments that hold a kernel of truth. This has been going on all my life with him. Then expensive gifts come pouring in, and the fact that I know he can't afford them makes them all the more valuable. I'm tired of this. A school councelor suggested when I was sixteen that I needed to break off my relationship with him for my own wellbeing, after he'd committed one in a series of unforgivable outrages.

I'm off to see my hairdresser now. I don't have anything special planned later on, but it's been almost a year since I've had a trim and I need to look after myself and make myself feel better. This woman has known me for a decade, from the time when we met on a photoshoot I was art-directing, through my nervous breakdown and years since. I'm brining Coco too.

I... I'm not that strong. I need to keep going and not listen to that voice inside that's always told me I should just give up. I know... I know how lucky I am, that I have so much love and sympathy, the kindness of strangers pouring in my way. I... I've never taken it for granted. Never will. But I wouldn't trade the pain I feel inside at times like these with even the worst of tyrants.

I'll be ok. I'll pull through. I always have. Someday, I'll find a way to pour it all into my art, some writing maybe (other than posting I mean), something else than just moaning and sobbing all over the place. If it weren't for the support you've already given me here, I'd be rolled up in a ball in a corner somewhere, cowering. So thank you for listening and for reaching out as you've all done. Someday, I hope to make you all proud of me, I hope.

Much love to all you reading me right now. I'm off to make myself pretty right now so I can face the rest of the day with some measure of pride and contentment.

xox ilana

With you.

He is wrong.

You are worth so so so much.

He is a manipulative B******.

We are here.

You are strong.

You are loved.

You will make it.

Sending peaceful and caring thoughts your way, Ilana.
I was reading about the winners of the Sami Rohr Prize For Jewish Literature and went on to find out more about last year's winner, The Jump Artist which led me to the fabulous photographs of Philippe Halsman.

Chiming in with Jenny

Manipulative family members are no fun, I know...

(((hugs)))

Oh, my dear Ilana...

I don't know why life is so hard. Wish it were not so.
You are a grown woman and making decisions for your own well being. You are stronger than you think in many ways. But strength does not always lessen the pain. Your parents may think they know you best - but they have a very narrow perspective of your life now. There are many dimensions of you they will never know. They really are not in a position to judge you - or tell you what to do. Please know they are NOT always right.

In defense of parents in general, it is very hard to have so much responsibility for a child for so many years and then accept they are grown and able to take care of themselves. Parents tend to make sacrifices for their children and somehow think they own them. They may mean to do the best they can but wind up destroying something very fragile - like a child's confidence and self esteem. They don't even know the damage they do.

However, there are really no excuses. We are all responsible for how we treat each other. Parents should be especially sensitive to their own offspring since there is an intimate perception of strengths and weaknesses. Of course, it doesn't always happen that way. And those we love have so much more power to hurt us... whether they mean to or not.

All that said, sometimes you have to back away and put some distance in between. As hard as you are trying to do your share of mending/forgiving/going forward it is obvious you are wasting your efforts right now. If your parents are not ready to move forward, there isn't much you can do on your own. Keep looking and hoping for the opportunity to build bridges - but don't force it.

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much and have no one to kiss your tears away. Thank god for your furkids though! They love you unconditionally. Something we humans need to learn from them.

Please take extra good care of yourself - you are very vulnerable right now. I am already very proud of you. You are brave and have a beautiful spirit. You are giving and kind, talented and sensitive.

Special hugs for Mimi :)

Gentle and warm hugs for you! {{{{Ilana}}}}

I pretty much agree with all the thoughts expressed above, except to add that the man is a jacka**. I know a guy who knows a guy who can handle the problem, if you know what I mean... :)

I'll chime in with Jim. We know some guys like that in Chicagah, too, who'd be happy to help. :-)

I just love the differences between Cee's response and then Jim and Joe's....lol
I guess none of us need to read Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus now, do we! That just summed it up right there ;)

Back home and checking in, Darling; so very sorry that this is taking a particularly ugly turn. Of course it's not up to me, but in the same situation I would (and did) put some space and time between you and Father. That reference to your mother agreeing with him is especially telling...it's probably completely fabricated. Surely your doctors/counselors are better equipped to help you deal with your current health problems, either physical or mental. I wish he would support hyou instead of attacking...

Well, as has been said repeatedly here, we love you, Dearie, and know your true worth...

Much love and {{{Ilana}}} to you.

Megan I remember you as the muscles from NZ (not catchy I'll admit) and I would not quite place myself in either the Mars or Venus camps (despite a very definite sexuality)!!
Ilana all of the posts including yours wherein you share your despair quite nakedly all serve to show that my earlier comments above about the worth of this forum and the quality of all our friends here is completely validated. xx

>74 you could still have that very defined sexuality but identify as different gender ......

Oh, Sweetie, my heart is reaching out to yours. Damn idiot people who love to push buttons, who revel in making pain for us, who turn our vulnerability into stabbing, brutal chances to cut like a knife.

I hold you in the light and simply want to say that there are indeed assholes in the world. Let us try to focus on those who care, who love and who understand.

I do hope you count me in the many who love you and want all good things for you.

The world needs more like you. Keep on being sensitive, kind and wonderful. I know you pay a price for it, but you are such a kind, loving soul. Please do try to remember that many love you and you are indeed loveable.

Jenny, Kerry, Anita, Claudia, Jim, Joe, Megan, Gail, Paul, Alex, and Linda

Thank you all so much for the wonderful, touching, loving, entertaining, funny, reflective, loving, loving, loving messages you've sent me today. I can't begin to tell you how happy you've made me. I feel so incredibly lucky to be part of this community of wonderfully kind and caring individuals. And to think, FREE MEMBERSHIP (virtually)!!!

It's late and I should think of turning in. Had a great day. Have I told you how blessed I feel? Once again, I want to respond to each and every one of you and will do so very soon. Just thought I'd share a bit of my day with you. After all the drama, a bit of glamour and magic. In point form for now, because there'll be a blog post about this complete with visuals soon:

■ Went to my hairdresser's who made me feel quite gorgeous. And normal. Took a lot of "before" and "after" shots to show the transformation. Coco was once again the delightful little angel everyone loved.

■ walked along Sherbrooke street in the posh section on town.

■ Met a fascinating old man with such an interesting face. We chatted a bit. He must've been in his eighties. He told me his name was Coco as he has a very unusual Breton name I'd never heard before and sadly don't remember now, starting with "Co"

■ started taking pictures in front of the Dior store. There's a larger than life black and white photo of a glamorous woman in Dior gown taken in the 50s that I absolutely love and been meaning to photograph since I first saw it.

■ Met a lady called June Ainley who stopped by and looked at the display I was photographing. Beautiful and graceful, 87 years old, started telling me her life story, husband working for UN, travel, modelling career in the 50's, during the Dior New Look era. Fascinating and delightful. She gave me her phone number when I asked if we could meet for tea of coffee. I will call her no later than this coming week.

■ took some video footage on Sherbrooke street, starting with the new Tiffany's store. My comment: "As you can see, this isn't breakfast time, so it's more like An Evening at Tiffany's". Or some such. Got a few scenes of busy streets to share if they're at all interesting...

■ walked most of the way home with Coco. Put on my fur-lined new mitts as it got cold. We were both shivering, so we hopped in a taxi for a five-dollar ride home down a few blocks.

■ wanted to take a few self-portraits of me looking more or less polished and feminine (as opposed to the slob I usually am lately) and ended up taking dozens upon dozens of photos to get the *right* shot (a trick I learned from working with professional photogs). I should be set for my Facebook profile picks for the next ten years.

■ lurked on LT and on my own thread. Giggled and laughed and smiled and sighed great sighs of happiness (see above message to all)

■ Ran out to buy a few loto tickets. One never knows.

■ Dropped off a little thank you note across the street at Anita's (my neighbour who works part-time at the Harricana store) telling her she's welcome to come over for good coffee or tea anytime. Gave her my number. It was in a pretty lavender envelope, dropped it in the mail slot. Her place looks very charming from what I saw in the entrance stairwell which was lighted up as she was obviously home.

■ Went looking at books on BookDepository, looking a beautiful editions of beloved classics. Filled my shopping cart to the point where I thought: "must take a break. Get on LT, and thank everyone, the books will be there tomorrow." But still, will get a few Penguin Classics Deluxe selections I've been dying to get for a while. Yes, I'm overspending. Yes, it makes me happy.




Sending all my love. I'm very fragile, but also feel very strong, and you've all helped me get back in touch with that spirit. Thank you a hundred times over. xx

>74 I know Paul....here I was on your thread offering to send in the heavies too! It was just so funny reading the two males offering to "send in the heavies" directly after the beautifully articulate and emotional response from Cee.

It made me smile and I hope my commenting on it made Ilana smile :)

>77 sounds like a wonderfully productive and useful day Ilana, look forward to seeing some of the dozens of photos of your new haircut.

Ilana, I'm sorry I don't seem to be able to stay up to date with your thread at the moment and I'm sorry the trip tot he cinema with your father turned into such an unpleasant outing. I'd say I have a good relationship with my dad but he's still the only person I know who can push all my buttons and get me from calm and collected to spitting fury in under 60 seconds. Hugs.

#57 I love the images from the Hella Jungerius book.

#65 It makes me so mad when people sounds off about using medication to treat mental health problems when they have never experienced it themselves. Too right it's out of bounds for him to comment like that - grrr.

I know you don't feel strong at the moment (who would after receiving an email like that?) but you are strong to have got this far. And we love you and we're all here for you.

I'm glad you had a good day today (yesterday?)

All I can add is *hugs* - my heart goes out to you.

ETA: And you really cherished and took care of yourself yesterday. How fabulous that is.

Hi Ilana- Just a quick loving stop! Hope your books are treating you well. Remember DA tonight! I'm not sure I'll feel like watching it by the time we get home later but we'll see.

Ilana - love the anecdotes of your day - the vignette about meeting the old lady June - we share an appreciation of how much can be contributed by the so called elderly and their life experiences are so fascinating and can help all of us in so many ways.

My own relationship with my father is an absolute disaster.
I left university and joined the same company as him on the proviso that we didn't work together as he was infamous for his temper and browbeating ways. I was transferred nevertheless to a project site which he was in charge of. He informed me that he had fallen for another woman and was having an affair with her - he gave me the stark choice of telling my mother and losing my job and splitting up my family or keeping quiet and he would stay with my mum - to my eternal regret I kept quiet.
Peter my twin later found out and told my Mother and they divorced - it took my mum and I more than a year to mend fences. Apparently he had been a serial philanderer all his married life.
We lost touch but met by accident in Singapore six years later and I gave him another chance. He left Singapore owing me thousands but I didn't care at the time because I had SWMBO! He similarly got Peter to forgive him and set up a business together (after his second wife caught him in bed with an 18 year old Malay girl in Kuala Lumpur, ending his second marriage). He has now tried his damnedest to cheat Peter from his share of the company and is alleging that he and I were siphoning money off-shore which was the money paid to my company for contractual advisory services perfectly legitimately and certainly undercost. Worst of all I have tried to forgive him for calling my three children "half-breeds" (as my friends know the three terrors are my pride and joy) and told all and sundry that my wife and my in-laws were from the swamp! I have always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but his systematic attempt to ruin the lives of my brother and his two lovely kids is too much this time. All problems with parents is relative (pun not really intended) and its impact upon us differs. I am sure I am affected by my father in ways I can't comprehend but I try to equate my position with that of the guy in the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue". If my father hadn't been such a so and so - I probably wouldn't have been as moderately succesful as I have been. Sorry for going on a bit but I wanted you to know you are far from alone in your problem, abeit of a slightly different nature.

I'm having a great cup of coffee, after a quiet couple of hours puttering about, preceded by a great long and peaceful sleep, once again with Mimi letting me spoon her through the night as she purred away. Now Coco is nuzzled up next to me as we're both squeezed in on my couch. In a little while we'll both put on our coats and go out to the beautiful day to have a nice walk. After that, there are many things that I want to do, a couple of things that I MUST do too, but instead of letting the thought of it stress me out, I've resolved to just take the day moment by moment and do the best I can.

Right now, I think it's high time I reply to all your wonderful messages from the past couple of days...

#51 Jude, I'm uploading all the photos I took yesterday from my iPhone right now. I'll post one or two here soon. I'm taking your word for it on Losing Battles and adding it to the wishlist.

#52 Pat, the best part about that shopping expedition is it isn't over! I still want to go pick up that vest this week. And yes, the "photo booth"-type app is on my iPhone. Because I ship from Canada, BookMooch was coming it quite a lot more expensive than PBS does for you. More like 9-14 dollars per books, which is more than it costs to buy most new books at BookDepository! So I had to put a stop to that. Thanks for providing the link to the video, I look forward to watching it. I'm glad we both have the same Oscar favourite. I haven't watched the Oscars in a few years, but I may just have to this time!

#53 Hi Ilana, not that I am an enabler or anything, but I think you should definitely get the vest. A great price and something that you will wear in many different ways - go for it!

Judy, you've given me that extra little nudge to convince me I can no longer live without it! I just love that you prefaced that with "not that I'm an enabler of anything" LOL! :-D

#55 That said, my experience is that difficult family relationships can get better over time, mostly because you get better at dealing with them.

I pray that you are right Pat. A figure of speech, since I don't really know how to, but still, pray is the only fitting word I can find.

#56 Always share your worries and problems dear dear lady as they do genuinely get halved. You have more people care for you than you would ever imagine.

I don't know what I can possibly say to that except thank you so very much and I am thankful for the blessing of friends like you Paul.

#58 Take care of yourself & embrace the words/thoughts of those that post here ... let them re-energise you.

Thanks Alex, it worked, they really did re-energise me, like magic. :-)

#59 It would take a bigger person than me to forget comments like that.

Or me for that matter Megan. This is where having an imperfect memory helps to smooth away some of the details, though the wounds don't always heal completely.

#60 I inherited a bunch of furs from my mil - I read about this store with great interest. I can't figure out what to do with some of it. Do they do the 'make-overs' right there in the store?

Absolutely Lucy! This is probably the place you've been looking for without knowing it! They have in-house designers who will counsel you on how to rework those old furs into the new coats and accessories of your dreams. And since they're right next to my place, I'll just have to go with you and invite you over for coffee at my place after...

#61 If you choose to put yourself in an avoidable position that is negative, for no good reason, I don't think you get to complain.

Amen sister, my thinking exactly.

#62 My mom had a teddy bear made from my grandmother's mink stole for me.

Oh Morphi, that sounds so wonderful!!! How you must cherish that teddy bear. I know I would—like the apple of my eye. Harricana make pillows, blankets, teddy bears, scarves, mitts, slippers, anything you can think of to give new life to those old furs. And a teddy bear from something that belonged to someone so close to you must be incredibly special. Give him a pat from me, would you?

#63 Caro, sometimes, when I take in such amazing messages (have read it many times over by now), I can find no better words to convey my appreciation than a simple: thank you. xx

#64 You're swell Joe. :-)

#66 We are here.

You are strong.

You are loved.

You will make it.

Jenny, I've worked with affirmations before, and this is one of the most powerful ones I've ever been given. I'll have to copy it and repeat it to myself every night before I go to sleep, and every morning the moment I open my eyes. But it's already worked magic since the more than half-dozen times I've read it since yesterday, because I do feel it very deeply. xox

#67 Kerry, every time you drop by with one of your links, it ends up having the most incredible ripple effect! I'd never heard of Halsman before, though of course I'm very familiar with some of his fabulous photographs, having always been a fan of old Life magazines, and old and white photography to begin with. I'll pore through his photos some more soon after my initial quick glean through. I've also put the book on my wishlist. Sounds like a fascinating story. Will you be getting The Jump Artist soon?

#68 Thanks so much Anita. Really appreciate your delurking with such a kind note at this time.

#69 Oh Claudia... oh my.

*speechless and tearing up, so taking a moment*

The first thing that comes to my mind is how blessed I am to have your friendship. The very best part of having decided to join Mark's Christmas swap was—aside from the wonderful books you gave me—getting to know YOU, you fabulous lady you. There will never be enough handmade bookmarks to thank you for being such a good, kind, encouraging, loving and so expressive friend. Also, I can't believe you ever dared say to me that you were not *clever* or *able to express yourself* (not the exact words you used I'm sure, but amounts to the same). Your comment finally put into words a concept that I've been grasping for and could not convey either to them or even to myself in these past few years:

"Your parents may think they know you best - but they have a very narrow perspective of your life now. There are many dimensions of you they will never know."

How very true. It's safe to say that in many ways that matter today, you know me better than either of them does. In a way, I guess it's not fair to them that they don't get to see me as you do because I've shut them out of most of my inner thoughts, and at the same time, I feel that your words will help me verbalize to them what it is I feel is so out of balance between us and which is making it so difficult for me to try get closer to either of them. Or maybe I'll just keep it all to myself, like the selfish single child I am! ;-)

#70 Jim, thanks for the comic relief. I quite literally laughed out loud when I read it yesterday. :-)

#71 LOL. Gangster city man.

#72 I just love the differences between Cee's response and then Jim and Joe's....lol

Same here Megan. The contrast is just hilarious. For the longest time, the whole Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus divide had me completely stumped, especially since neither of my parents was especially interested in embodying traditional gender roles. Then I actually read the book in my ripe twenties, when I was living with a thirty-something man who was one of the Martian head honchos. Boy was that ever confusing. And now, thank heavens, I'm finally able to laugh about it!

#73 Oh Gail, as usual, there's so much in what you say that strikes various chords and which I want to respond to. But not here, not now. I'll have to PM you soon to continue the discussion more at depth on those lines. Hugs to you my sweet lady. xox

#74 Paul, I'm quite convinced that if LT ruled the world, there'd be no more war, no more strife, and everyone would have only loving friends. Nothing would get done, because everyone would be too busy reading, but probably busier still TALKING about their reading. Libraries would be venerated like churches of old. There would also be a serious worldwide shortage of shelves and bookcases that would force us to colonize other planets to store all the TBR valleys and mountains and oceans of cumulative books. :-)

#75 Now there's a potentially weird and wonderful conversation in the making!

#76 I do hope you count me in the many who love you and want all good things for you.

More than you know my dear Linda, more than you know...

#74 It made me smile and I hope my commenting on it made Ilana smile :)

It sure did! See my reply to you in the previous post.

look forward to seeing some of the dozens of photos of your new haircut.

I don't know about the haircut, but here's one of the photos I took. Low light conditions, so not technically any good, but I like it all the same and have made it my new profile pic.



More replies to come, but it's getting very late and Coco has been incredibly patient... we're off for a walk in a few minutes.

Love the new 'do - absolutely gorgeous!

#87 Lovely photo, lovely hairdo, lovely smile and lovely lady :-)

#79 Heather, I know threads in general aren't easy to keep up with in the best of times, and my thread in particular makes for a lot of reading, so I'm just grateful whenever you do drop by and comment.

It makes me so mad when people sounds off about using medication to treat mental health problems when they have never experienced it themselves. Too right it's out of bounds for him to comment like that - grrr.

Let me give you some context Heather which might make your growl even louder. The whole issue with meds is one I struggled with for the better part of a decade, ever since I was first officially diagnosed as bipolar around 2K. Bipolar is notoriously difficult to medicate, so I went through whole gamut of nightmarish side-effect while trying to find the right drugs,—when my doctors didn't just stick me on the one-size fits all drug (lithium) they decided must be the right one for me too, no matter how badly it performed—the right dosages, the right mixes , going through periods of being a complete dysfunctional zombie, added to the common refusal on my part, to admit that this condition is an actual illness and while treatable, as yet incurable. The other option being variations in mood so radical that they've caused me to make radical and sometimes dangerous choices. Without going into all that too much, I will say that when I had my last mental collapse in 2007, I refused to medicate and wanted to take care of myself through diet and yoga, meditation and clean living. The insurance companies insist on medicating, without which they consider an individual is *refusing treatment* and therefor becomes uninsurable. So to put it starkly, I had a choice between going through suicidal depression without aid or any means of supporting myself, or taking the drugs and having a portion of my former salary as a monthly allocation. Both my parents are aware of every part of this story, and in much greater detail. Both have a hard time supporting themselves, let alone being able to help me, if only financially. Beyond a doubt, neither are able to provide the kind of nurturing that would guarantee me some sort of emotional stability, which they are keenly aware of. Given all that, my father's criticism of my choice to medicate is not only misguided, but outright irresponsible and delusional, especially considering he knows almost better than anyone that I'm completely incapable to support myself at this point. But I'm the one guilty of *wishful thinking*, right? Right.

And we love you and we're all here for you.

And you help me with your comments more than you'll ever know.

#80 And you really cherished and took care of yourself yesterday. How fabulous that is.

Yes. Yesterday had the quality of a dream of a movie. The kind of movie that might have been directed by Sophia Coppola. It was kind of wonderful and magical, yet very very simple.

#81 Already going home Mark? My but that was fast! I can't watch DA tonight, even if I wanted to because don't receive the channel, but I'll be able to download it from iTunes tomorrow. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow night? ;-)

#82 we share an appreciation of how much can be contributed by the so called elderly and their life experiences are so fascinating and can help all of us in so many ways.

Most definitely Paul. I wish I'd had my grandparent around longer, or at all for that matter. Both grandfathers were gone by my first year, though I was lucky enough to know both my grandmothers. I adored my maternal grandmother. She lived next to a school I attended in second and third grade (half of each year actually, since I went to Israel in the interim) and we used to play cards and she'd give me Pringle chips, which were a very special treat for me since we never kept junk food at home. I remember her as being a real granny, and a real lady—elegant and very modest. She was gone by the time I turned eight or nine, quite young—still only in her early sixties. My paternal grandmother in Israel was something else altogether. Extremely smart, extremely well-read, and extremely stubborn with definite ideas on life. We bickered and fought all the time. She still treated my father like he was a little boy and told him what to do, and he mostly listened to her because as a Libra, he was eternally lost (still is—and by the way, I picked up the reference to the Libra from Mister Blue). She too was elegant, although with very modest means. I remember her awesome cooking and her strawberry cheesecake was something else altogether. I can still roam around the apartment she lived in for more than 30 years in my mind as if I'd been there last week, though she passed away when I was 13 and living in Canada.

Ever since I lost them both, I've been looking for surrogate grandparents. Not all old people are necessarily wise, but most have learned many lessons in life and have much to share if they're the sharing sort. I'm a Cancer, and as such very attached to the past, which I can't help but romanticize to a certain degree, and being with a very old person is like traveling through time. And they usually love remembering the times when they too were young.

The story about your father... there is so much there I could comment on. He sounds like a lousy person. The sort of old guy who would have been played by Jack Lemon at one time, or maybe Jack Nicholson, or Dustin Hoffman (not because of what your father actually looks like, I'm just thinking as a casting director), a mean, cheating, lecherous, shifty, ornery, and generally untrustworthy and unlikeable manipulative guy. I feel for you having him as a father.

If my father hadn't been such a so and so - I probably wouldn't have been as moderately succesful as I have been.

I'm guessing your interpretation of "succesful" in this context is in terms of business and finical success. But I think it's also made you successful as a human being in general. Generous, kind, loving, caring, open-hearted, loyal... all the things that it sounds like your father is not. No matter what, we always model ourselves on our parents, if only by learning to do everything the opposite way.

I'm glad you shared this with me/us here Paul, thank you. xx

Thanks for the compliments Heather and Jim. I was saying "I don't know about the haircut" meaning, the picture doesn't show my hair as it is at all because it's actually a lot longer but maybe I'll ask for a shorter cut next time. Also, once I'll have washed it, it'll revert back to it's natural frizzy state. Which is why I took photos to immortalize it. :-)

Ilana - loved reading all your responses to the wonderful outspouring of affection for you, including of course and selfishly the nice things said about yours truly!
You are right I didn't mean commercial success necessarily and his example has certainly helped me stay faithful to SWMBO (along with naked fear!)

#87 Lovely photo - film star lighting - Rachel Weisz's slightly older sister is back on the agenda and I think Mark will agree with me!

Wow, what a great look, Ilana! I love Paul's Rachel Weisz's sister comparison. I look forward to Mark's reaction. :-) You were so smart to go out and do things that made you feel better like this.

Ilana, that's a wonderful photo. You're beautiful inside and out!

Paul, Joe, Pat, thanks for the compliments, very sweet. But at the same time, now I feel like I should be more honest and post one of the photos taken in not-quite-so-flattering lighting too. I picked my favourite out of dozens with lighting conditions that amount to soft focus that hides all lines, bulges and imperfections. I'm so so vain. EEEEeeeeek!

#93 along with naked fear!

Looks like you've got full coverage there Paul. Now if we could only package and sell that recipe, we'd make billions from the wives and girlfriends the world over.

Hi Ilana - sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday. As soon as I opened that google page of Halsman photos I thought, wow! Like you I recognised quite a few, but didn't realise they were all taken by one man. I've been a Dali fan since reading his The Secret Life of Salvador Dali as a teenager and seeing the Halsman/Dali photographic collaboration yesterday amongst all those images was quite thrilling. And yes, The Jump Artist is on my wishlist as my library doesn't have any copies.

I felt a bit guilty that my linking to the Dutch designer, Hella Jongerius, ended up with such ripple effect but her work is quite the show stopper. Yesterday Dana, and I saw The Artist, we both loved it and talked about it and films in general for ages. She's turning into quite the film buff like her older sister who did her MA thesis on Tarantino.

Love the haircut.

>96 now I feel like I should be more honest and post one of the photos taken in not-quite-so-flattering lighting
Internet Rule #1: Always post the best photo of yourself available.
You look great!

Here We Also Talk About Books and their Covers (Sometimes):

Whatever semblance of resolution I had of reading more or at least equal *off the shelf* to what I buy has been decimated in the last 24 hours. But books cost a whole lot less than fur, so all things being relative, I was quite reasonable. I went for a few new-to-me titles and also for some gorgeous hardcover editions of favourites from White's Fine Editions (cover details also shown below), and from Penguin Deluxe Classics and Penguin Threads. We love lists here, so here goes:

Emma by Jane Austen (White's Fine Editions) - now a favourite thanks to Liz's tutoring
Emma by Jane Austen (Penguin Classics Deluxe Threads Series) - to give as gift to Kim's daughter, 15, called... (you guessed it!)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (White's Fine Editions) - I intend to read it again with Liz and I KNOW she'll make me love it.
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë (White's Fine Editions) - a new all-time favourite as of 2011s second reading
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell (Penguin Classics Deluxe Threads Series)
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (Penguin Classics Deluxe Threads Series) - adored it as a child
Three Novels of New York by Edith Wharton (A Penguin Classics Deluxe Editions) - to be released in August
The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck (Penguin Classics Deluxe Editions) - new to me title
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys - as a companion to Jane Eyre for a future re-read.
Everything Is Going to Be Ok by Chronicle Books - with artwork bearing mottos of encouragement and affirmation
The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter by Beatrix Potter




    
(click on the covers to view larger, it's worth it, trust me)

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
My copy of this arrived today in the mail! I got the Puffin Classics edition. I have never read it so am looking forward to it.

So you just ordered these today? Good on you :)

Love all those covers Ilana! And thanks for the heads up about the White's Books Fine Editions and the Penquin Classics Deluxe editions. I will be keeping my eye out for those.

#97 Kerry, I remember going to the Dalí Museum in Paris when I was 25 and being blown away with all his crazy artwork all around me. Mad genius. Please don't feel bad, not even for a second about introducing me to Hella Jongerius. I really happy to have discovered her and can't wait to see what the book is like. Fabulous, I'm sure, and not so expensive for an art book (at BookDepository obviously).

#98 Internet Rule #1: Always post the best photo of yourself available.

I know—I always hurry to discard those less flattering photos from my camera so they don't ever make it anywhere near the web. Once it's floating out there, who knows how it'll end up being used! May as well put your best face forward.

#100 Technically I ordered them today, since it was well past midnight! Funny timing, both of us onto The Secret Garden simultaneously. The Puffins Classics edition... I assume you mean the paperback? Those are all quite wonderful, and the hardcover is quite stunning also. I hesitated before making my selection, but then I'm a huge fan of embroidery, even though I don't do any myself (yet). I barely remember the story at all. I know there's a little girl, and I know there's a garden. So we'll both be discovering it basically from scratch.

#101 Pat, I'd seen the White's Books Fine Editions around, but never really paid attention since I nearly always buy paperback books. Hardcovers are usually just for absolute favourites, though I wouldn't limit myself if I could afford it. Then again, there's such beautiful design for paperbacks that I wouldn't want to limit myself.




I forgot to mention another book I ordered with the others: At Large and at Small by Anne Fadiman (hardback). It was priced to liquidate, so I pounced.

eta: I'd love to do the rounds, though I did lurk on as many threads as I could today. About to keel over, so I'll sign off for now. I'll probably finish the few short chapters I have left in Mister Blue, if I can stay awake that long!

I love your new photo! The haircut looks buoyant!

What amazing book covers.

Oooh, what lovely books you ordered. Part of the fun of owning books is the visual experience of fine bindings and those gorgeous book covers. Enjoy your new treasures.

Ilana, that is a lovely photo of you. I'm starting to think about a makeover for my BIG summer birthday. I'll probably talk myself out of it by then... it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Trite but true!

HI Ilana! Those are some great looking book covers!

I guess everyone has already said everything that I would have said (and a lot better, I'm sure) about your Father-situation. Reading along I've run the gamut of emotions about what happened and am so happy now that you seem to being rising to the top. My own father is long dead, but at times like these, oh, how I appreciate him and how good he was to me. Those men who were/are self-involved, cruel horrors to their children - what can they be thinking of? And the horrible mothers, too. Why are people so rotten to one another? And their own children, too! It ain't right.

Love your furry hat, Ilana! It looks so warm and fancy. If I were a hat person, I'd want it. Hmmm. Maybe if I got one I'd be a hat person.

That IS a great photo, Ilana, and good for you taking good care of yourself!

Hi Ilana- I love your photo too! The colors and that smile... Hope you are having a good day!

#87 Beautiful woman! ditto #95 What Pat said!

#99 Awesome book covers. Your eye for beauty is going to bankrupt you! :}
Keep buying lotto tickets every so often ;-)

Hugs and more hugs! {{{Ilana}}}

I LOVE the illustration of Black Beauty! Breathtaking.

Good day today. Very fun watercolours class, during which we actually spent the whole time drawing from projected slides. I love drawing too, so really enjoyed myself. Then we went to the ground floor to the art gallery and looked at the latest exhibit by a very talented artist who also teaches there. I took a painting class with him and really enjoyed his approach. There's always at least a couple of us who stay after class and chat with Elisabeth, the teacher for a good while. Today's topics were her upcoming one-woman exhibition, which let to a discussion on how to focus one's attention to any one project when one has many interests and mediums to work with (guess who was asking the questions?). Then I stopped over at the health food store practically next door, which is my usual stop after class to pick up some groceries. Now home and completely pooped, but in a good way. Very soon I'll go take Coco out for a proper walk. We played together when I got here about an hour ago and... have I mentioned what a sweetie he is? He absolutes adores it when I give him little apple pieces. An apple a day...

So a good day. My father called at the usual time this morning as he's been doing these past couple of months, but I didn't feel ready to speak to him, so I let the call go straight the the answering service. Can't remember the exact words he used right now, but it was short and sweet and to the effect that "I want you to know I'll never give up on you". Our relationship is such a joy ride. I'll probably send him a note later telling him I need a little bit of time to myself to recuperate from our latest drama, because I truly am depleted right now. I also plan on sending a copy of the email he sent me to my mother and asking her if they indeed had any kind of communication to that effect. If anything, it'll open up some sort of exchange between us, because the fact is, I know for sure that she disapproves of the choices I've made in my approach to treatment. They're exhausting as parents sometimes, but then, they're also really good people in many ways that matter. Will things ever get simpler between us? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, I'm downloading the Christmas special of Downton Abbey and will probably spend my evening watching that. I don't have energy for much else right now.

Already got a bunch of confirmations that some of the books I ordered are on their way. Woot! How I loooove getting books in the mail. Feels like Christmas every time...

#103 Hi Lucy. Many thanks. For everything. I'll respond more in depth to you in the coming days. Just so you know: it's all good.

#104 Donna: You MUST do that makeover. Must! It's such a fun experience and when done well, can give you an incredible boost that can last a very long time. I've overseen many photoshoots with models and various public personalities in my career days and seen the most incredible transformations. The makeup isn't just done to make you *look good* but when you see yourself beatified, it also makes you feel *good inside* and gives you incredible confidence. Ever since I started playing with makeup as a teenager, I've always been the one to offer my friends and female family members to fix them up a little for special occasions, and it's so gratifying to see them look in the mirror and be delighted with the results, with just the bare minimum of makeup. I did a makeover for my mom maybe nine years ago. She rarely if ever wears makeup, so doesn't really know what to do with it, like many women I know. It was so fun seeing her look at herself with new eyes and appreciate her own femininity, which she isn't all that much in touch with.

As you can see, this is something I'm quite passionate about (I'm just realizing that as I write too!), so I'll be cheering you on. :-)

#105 Hi Chelle, thanks for stopping by!

#106 Charlotte, I always appreciate your contributions to any discussion. Relationships are never simple. Or very rarely so. That's probably because most people aren't all that simple either. I'm learning over the years to see life in a multitude of shades and tones of grey.

If I were a hat person, I'd want it. Hmmm. Maybe if I got one I'd be a hat person.

That's practically guaranteed! :-)

#107 Thanks Roni, very nice of you to say.

#108 See? I DO smile. And quite often too, even through the worst of times. They don't call me Smiler for nuthin'! ;-)

#109 Thanks sweetie. I guess I needed a bit of a boost of confidence, and while I'm a bit embarrassed by all the compliments, I can't say they're unpleasant to read either!

Awesome book covers. Your eye for beauty is going to bankrupt you! :}

Tell me about it, story of my life. And it has already.

Keep buying lotto tickets every so often

You bet! Two draws per week, I rarely win anything, but as I like to say "you can't win if you don't play". ;-)

#110 I LOVE the illustration of Black Beauty! Breathtaking.

Isn't it just? I wasn't surprised to find out it won an award from the Society of Illustrators this year. It took my time looking at all three covers to appreciate all the detail and must say that one did arrest me. I didn't realize when I ordered them that the covers were also sculptural-embossed. What a treat! Jillian Tamaki is one incredibly talented artist. This is her site if you're curious to see more: http://jilliantamaki.com I just found her blog too: http://blog.jilliantamaki.com




While I was putting together this post, I got an email notification from Audible that a new all-star cast recording of Dracula has just come out today. The following from the Audible page:

"This production of Dracula is presented by what is possibly the best assemblage of narrating talent ever for one audiobook: Emmy Award nominees Alan Cumming and Tim Curry plus an all-star cast of Audie award-winners Simon Vance (The Millenium Trilogy), Katherine Kellgren (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies), Susan Duerden (The Tiger’s Wife), John Lee (Supergods) and customer favorites Graeme Malcolm (Skippy Dies), Steven Crossley (The Oxford Time Travel series), Simon Prebble (The Baroque Cycle), James Adams (Letters to a Young Contrarian), Nicola Barber (The Rose Garden), Victor Villar-Hauser (Fun Inc.), and Marc Vietor (1Q84)."

I didn't let it tarry on my wishlist and snapped it up right away. I've been wanting to get a nice edition of this book which I haven't read yet (probably will do eventually), though I've seen movie versions. This promises to be a fun ride!

Right, speaking of which, I'm off with Coco!

I finished reading Mister Blue last night. I'm a bunch of reviews behind and don't intend on writing much about this one, because others have summed it up very well. What can I say? The thing I liked most about it is that there are cats in the story. But otherwise... not so much.

Not sure what I'll pick up next to bring to bed with me shortly. There's certainly no lack of options! I was thinking Sea of Poppies, which even my hairdresser Marguerite was raving about this weekend (she says it's her all-time favourite book, which is saying a lot because she's an avid reader too). So maybe that, or Zarafa for an animal story (a giraffe), but then I kind of feel like something totally light and whimsical, so might just go with The Seeing Stone (The Spiderwick Chronicles #2) which should take no more than an hour to finish. I'm too brain-dead for anything more demanding right now.

aaaah the age old dilema: choosing that next book to start. Its such an exciting time, but is heavy with responsibility.
Light and whimsical sounds good at the end of a busy day and a stressful period, I hope it fits the bill. If not, there's always tomorrow!

Ilana, just swinging by for a skim before I head to bed. I'm so p.o.d at your paternal parental unit --- grrrrr!!!!!. He sounds self-absorbed and judgmental, two qualities I particularly dislike in people. You deserve to be accepted exactly as you are, to have your choices honored, and to be surrounded by people who can enjoy life -- and it makes me mad that you don't find those things in your relationship with your father. I know you've gotten lots of love and support from this wonderful group, so I'll just say I'm glad you're getting that support and that you've found some ways to soothe yourself (walks with Coco, spooning with Mimi, buying a few terrific editions, getting a haircut that looks, by the way, quite smashing, etc.). Add my support to the pile, even from an extra couple of time zones away. {{{{Ilana}}}}

I think I liked Mister Blue a bit more than you did, but I fully agree that the cats are among the highlights. :-)

I'm enjoying our somewhat in-tandem exploration of Peter Sis. I've only yet read two by him, Tibet Through the Red Box and The Tree of Life: Charles Darwin. I adored the former and enjoyed the second (though not nearly as much); I definitely plan to continue the exploration of his work.

Time to curl up in bed with The Wayward Bus until it puts me to sleep. :-)

Keep taking care, my friend.

De-lurking to say, I'm glad things are looking up -- a new haircut and some books and meeting someone new always tends to provide some fresh perspective. I hope you let us know how tea with your new friend goes... I believe that everyone has a story to tell, and it sounds like she's had quite the life! I'm sure she'll appreciate your interest and companionship.

Enjoy the second book in the Spiderwick Chronicles! I loved that series... :)

I'm envious of your artistic talent, Ilana. Occasionally I can draw stick-ish figures that are more appealing than usual. We love to go to museums and galleries, and we buy the work of local artists. But what a joy it would be to be able to successfully create that way.

Sorry you didn't like Mister Blue more. As you know, it really caught me up. He was an important cat, that's for sure. I'm still musing about just how important . . .

#90 You were right - that did make me growl even louder (in fact I think I scared the cat). Sheesh, there just aren't words.

#99 Thank you for the White's books link - I love the designs. Not sure about the Jane Eyre cover but I don't think I've ever liked purple and orange together. The Penguin Deluxe editions also look lovely.

#111 Really glad your watercolour class went well.

#112 Ooh, I really love Dracula. I want to say it's so gothic but after reading Liz's definition on the Otranto thread I'm not sure whether it really is gothic anymore! I think it's wonderfully spooky in a shivery kind of way and it's one I've reread quite a few times.

Hi Ilana, just catching up on your thread for the last few days, love the picture of yourself that you posted. It is true that the eyes are the window of your soul, and girl, you look very soulfull!

Sorry to hear of your troubles with your father. It is unfortunate that family just know how to push the buttons without even trying. The important thing is to look after yourself, after that, hopefully, everything else will fall in place.

I love that picture of gorgeous you, Ilana! I take self-photos and always look like a cross-eyed crocodile.

Hi Ilana....hahaha Caro if you don't like your photo I'm sure you can always make yourself a nice handbag!

Err...but Paul, I'd then be raw and bleeding!

Oh no Caro I wouldn't want that at all - don't want your KL trip postponed as I would miss my first LT meet up and the chance to have an eating competition with you and catch up with Montalbano!

Hi Megan, Ellen, Faith, Joe, Heather, Judy, Caroline and Paul

Thank you are for your messages today. I'll get back to all of you individually soon. Things on the family front are not getting simpler at this point. I spent the better part of the day sleeping today, dead to the worlds, just completely depleted. Then I woke up, took Coco out for a walk (he's such an angel and was just quietly waiting for me to wake up uncomplainingly), had a snack and fired up my computer to catch up on email and such.

Two emails from my father, both forwarded email exchanges between him and my mother starting Feb 1. My father went and said things to her, interpreting what I'd said in confidence to him completely out of context as she made apparent in an email to me recently. They're both worried about my hesitation to go to France and my father offers my mother to pay her way to come to Montreal if I decide I can't travel there yet. They both agree that the medication is to blame, with my mother saying

"I'm concerned that all the medication she's on is more of a problem than a way to a solution, but what can I say that would be useful at this point?"

I started firing off an email to them both letting them know that yes, as they'd rightly assumed, I am indeed pissed off about them having these conversations behind my back and asking them point blank what they have to suggest if they're such experts on what the right solution for me is. I didn't send it. Just saved it as a draft for now. Instead I sent them a very short note:

"I just got the following from [my father] this evening. I want some time to digest this before I come up with a response for you both. I think some things need to be made very clear here. For one thing, what needs to be made clear above all else is who is in charge of making the decisions about my wellbeing here. I'd rather not be in touch with either of you for a couple of days while I sort out my thoughts.

I know you both care, and I appreciate that, but thank you for respecting my need for space right now."

I'm boiling with rage right now. I know they care about me, but they're both so misguided, and so delusional about their capacity to help me, that it makes me both sad and angry at the same time.

The only thing for it is to watch the last episode of Dowton Abbey.

{{{{Ilana}}}}

and more hugs!

HUGS!! Sorry you are upset, family has a way of doing that!
Hope you at least enjoy the last DA! I think you will like it!

Hi There.

What a wonderful photo! You are quite beautiful..inside and out!

I LOVED the last episode of Downton Abbey! Couldn't help but shed a few tears at the end. What will they think of next for season three? Off to give Coco a chance to mark his territory. Will be back to reply to all your kind messages and lurk on a few threads...

#114 Yes, that's a dilema I quite like having actually! I did choose something light and whimsical with The Seeing Stone finally. It's a tiny book, so I got through it in maybe just over a half hour, which worked out perfectly since I could barely stay away that long. It's a fun little series.

#115 Ellen, thank you ever so much for your kind words, all the way from Hawaii... if you have a chance to read the latest development, you'll see that it seems like at the moment, neither parental units agree with my choices, which makes it double special to me to get so much support here. I try to keep in mind that at the heart of it all, they love and care about me. What they don't seem to realize is that they're part of the problem and not of the solution. And how to say that to them? *sigh*. I don't expect an answer to that by the way.

In any case, 2012 has got to be a good year if we spend it exploring Steinbeck and Sís! :-)

#116 I've not called June yet, but I will do so soon, when I'm having a good day. I look forward to seeing her again. The Seeing Stone was fun. I look forward to the next book, Lucinda's Secret. One book I'd like to read which is a companion book to the series is The Care and Feeding of Sprites, which they don't seem to have at the library...

#117 Joe, there are times in my life when I would have gladly forsaken my artistic sensibility for a more stable humour and outlook on life. Everything comes with a price. But you should know that everyone can be creative, it's just a question of finding an outlet that appeals to you. It's great that you enjoy art as a family!

As for Jacques Poulin... I'll give him another chance with Translation is a Love Affair and if that does't do it for me, then I'll have at leasts given him an honest try.

#118 Heather, I should start receiving some of the books I ordered tomorrow or the day after I imagine. Can't wait to see all those gorgeous covers. Finding shelf-space for them however is a whole different matter....

As for the Gothic label, I won't worry too much as I've never been a purist about anything. Dracula is definitely gothic and I look forward to listening to it and eventually reading it too.

#119 Hi Judy. Thanks for the compliments. I know the best I can do is just keep looking after myself as best I can and hope everything works out for the better. As for the parents, I wouldn't mind giving them a vacation for a while and give my mind a rest.

#120 Caro, I deleted a bunch of the photos I took because I looked totally cross-eyed. I am, just a little bit, and sometimes it shows more than others. But those photos aren't likely to find their way to the net ! :-)

#121-123 How exciting for you Paul... an actual LT meet up! You DO know you MUST take photos and share them with us as soon as you've met, right?

#125 Thanks Claudia, those hugs sure felt good.

#126 I really really really did like the last DA episode. They sure packed in a lot of stuff into it! Now the waiting begins for season 3...

#127 Thank you Linda, you're a sweetie as always.




So I think I might go to bed with Sea of Poppies tonight. It's been on my shelves since it came out in 2008, and I know from all the glowing comments it got that it's got lots more going for it than just a gorgeous cover.

I've only got about 3.5 hours of listening time left for Doomsday Book, and while I enjoyed it in some parts, I can't say I'll be sorry to move on to something else.

Hope to have time for reviews tomorrow. I'll start by trying not to sleep half the day away! :-)

Ilana - aware of the need for photos - hope I can tuck my tummy in long enough so as not to spoil the shots.

Paul, I doubt anyone here will care much about your tummy or lack of one. As long as you smile pretty for the camera, it's all good. ;-)

Oh geez, it just gets worse, doesn't it? Crap. They just don't get it and yes, you're right that they care but don't have a clue about how to communicate that. Ugh. I have to admit that I routinely wonder how expressing love can be so damn complicated (and inaccurate)..... sheesh.
Anyway, I'm glad you're able to see through to their intentions and are still able to say, for yourself, sorry, not enough. Intentions do matter, but at some point, they need to be able to say "hey, what does she need?" rather than "what do we mean to give?"

My two cents. In addition to a hug for you and the ever-patient Coco. I'm so glad you have him.

Re: your response to the parents - good for you Ilana. Don't let them bully you - even behind your back.

I put Mister Blue on my GFW back when you first talked about it. Not having second thoughts about that - yet. Probably will be some time before I get it and longer before I read it....

#133 Oh Ellen... if you only knew. It's getting worse by the minute. My mother sent me a response that felt like a sudden ice shower. Her usual response mechanism when she feels under attack is to turn into a cold you-know-what. I'm just a complete mess at this point. I'm also completely fed up with them both and of this whole story, so I think I'll just try ignoring the whole thing for a while since it brings me nothing but heartache. I'm so exhausted by it all that I can barely keep my eyes open, even thought it's mid-day and sunny out. Coco's been watching over me all night and all morning. I'm incredibly glad to have him too.

#134 Charlotte, I won't be the one pushing Mister Blue on you, but then, so many people here loved it that you might very well too.

> 135: Ignoring sounds good Ilana, be sure NOT to read anything your parents send throught the mail, leave it until you feel a bit better.

I know, I am not very good at it either, got a nasty mail from my sister last week and did read it, while I should have trashed it unread... at least I vividly remeber why I don't want any contact with her ever again!

I am glad you have Coco, I know how well dogs can take care of us.

#135 "It's getting worse by the minute." Oh no... Ignore them if you can. I'm also glad you have Coco watching over you. Wish we could send some emergency 75ers round with tea and chocolate.

Ilana, you SO would identify with those two books I recommended! Satir has your parents down pat.

Anita is right. Do not open anything that could be potentially nasty. Will and I had quite an argument between Christmas and New Year. His creepy, self absorbed cousin was fueling the fire. I made the mistake of reading emails. It was not nice and I was very, very hurt.

Hi Ilana,
How about some art therapy? Have you immersed yourself in any paintng lately? If not, maybe you could rest your brain and heart with that for a bit.
Hey! Have you ever tried to paint Coco? or the kitties? You did a great job with your bug...

Hi Ilana, you sweetie, I'm all caught up and am so sorry you're going through so much unnecessary baggage with your parents. Is it feasible to take an email holiday from them? I always find that there are two kinds of emotional emails, the knee-jerk reaction sent before it really was thought out properly (just been dealing with some of these from my husbands family!) and then the delayed rational approach, we're not talking about a solution, but just a more polite way to respond to others, advocating a step back and to truly look at things from all angles.

You are clearly in camp 2 and I applaud you for it. You are stronger than you think and although you shouldn't have to put up with such antics from your parents, you are getting through this day by day with bonus points in my opinion. Why are families so difficult at times, it is a living oxymoron that they can be the closest yet most distant people in our lives?

About 13 years ago I had the worst time with my own mother, she was on medication which made her crazy paranoid and she would blame people for everything, well when she started attacking my 2 year old daughter, let's just say my reaction was definitely of the knee-jerk kind. Not pretty. It took me a couple of years to forgive her and forge a relationship again. Anyway, I mention it because I can sympathise with the not so easy parent/child dynamic and I'm sending copious amounts of hugs your way.

OK, probably should mention books on here somewhere.. did you start Sea of Poppies?

Oh dear.
I had a whole big paragraph of advice and hugs written out, but you probably get enough of that. So my only comment is that sometimes family sucks and some quite time and space is best.
Hopefully you can just ignore them for a bit and just get some "you" time.

Still sending the hugs though!!

More hugs from me too.

I second and third all the suggestions to ignore the 'rents for a few days, Ilana. Try not to think about the emails or about them, but concentrate on finding fun things to do for YOU. Don't let them beat you down ... it may be what they need to feel better about themselves, but try not to let that happen. Go out with Coco ... have an ice cream (even if it's cold out), buy a cupcake and eat it in a park (ok, you can share a teensy bit with Coco), and take photos of anything that looks interesting.

Oooh, i know ... sign up for a speed dating evening .... just for the fun of it, not because you may be looking to date anyone. You may end up having a barrel of laughs in the evening and be so entertained it takes your mind off your family drama for a few hours.

Once again, thank you so much for all the supportive messages Anita, Heather, Roni, Linda, Claudia, Leonie, Chelle, Lucy and Caroline

I would answer each of you individually as I usually do, but feeling too depleted to continue on the topic and just want to ignore the whole thing as much as I can. Today was truly awful, with me falling to pieces and entertaining the darkest possible thoughts all crumpled down on my kitchen floor. At least my cleaning lady came by last Friday, so it was reasonably clean. Not that I would have cared. I started to think of who I could leave my pets to if I decided to go ahead and check myself out, but then couldn't bear the thought of them possibly being worse off than they are with me. And poor Coco would be traumatized if he was abandoned yet again. I don't think I could possibly feel worse than that, so things are bound to get better for me, right? (knocking on my head as there's no wood within easy reach). So that's that.

I'll just say, Claudia, the art therapy was a great idea, but I was so out of it today that I was practically catatonic. Tomorrow is another day.

Leonie, I did start Sea of Poppies earlier this evening. Have read just the first chapter, so can't really say what I think of it yet, but it seems promising.

and Caro: SPEED DATING?!?!, ME?!?!??? Oh no, you've got the wrong gal. I did my own version of speed dating in my 30s, meeting sometimes up to three guys per day over coffee. Let's just say I was determined to find a husband, but the ones who made it past the second date obviously didn't work out. I'm now happily single and celibate, and good riddance! I think I'd rather have each of my hairs pulled out one by one while someone screeched their nails down a chalkboard just a few inches from my ears for a few hours than entertain the thought of dating again. But honestly, thank you, because you've managed to make whatever problems I'm having seem insignificant when faced with the prospect of speed dating. I'm suddenly feeling great! Honest! :-)

  

I received two books in the mail today, the beautiful White's Fine edition of Emma (as above), and At Large and At Small by Anne Fadiman, which also has a very pretty cover in the hardback edition.

Should be done with Doomsday Book by tomorrow (amen to that), and as mentioned above, have finally plunged into Sea of Poppies, which I'll be going to bed with (I said that last night, but ended up not reading anything, which is highly unusual).

Today I read a couple of essays from Ex Libris and finished The Wall: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain by Peter Sís. Very good.

I see some speed reviewing in my near future... but for now I'll go do some speed-lurking before calling it a night.

>entertaining the darkest possible thoughts

Been there. Many times in the last twenty five years. The only thing that has gotten me through is realizing that it is a temporary feeling. I knew if I could just hang on for awhile it would pass. Sometimes in hours, sometimes in days, but it would pass. So I hang on to my husband, curl up with my dog, watch a fun movie, read an absorbing book. Anything to just hang on. You seem to have a lot of skills in keeping yourself cared for and distracted. Keep doing it. It will pass. I promise.

Wow, those are two beautiful covers! great choices!

Sorry that you are still in a funk. Maybe you should watch some comedy online? Nate always brings me out of my mood with being a goofball or putting on his comedy channel on his satelite radio. Maybe you need a good laugh!

Ilana - very very entertaining exchange with Caro re: speed dating! Must admit that it would be anything but my idea of fun too. I always took an age to get to know someone and like my own company too much to throw myself into the harem-scarum world of nightclubs or being "on the pull" as we used to say in Yorkshire. If you have to shout to make yourself heard then your ability to make conversation will suffer and I'm not a shouter. Enjoy your own space dear lady but don't close the door on yourself completely as you never know when fate will intervene on your behalf.

Love the covers in #146.

I like those covers, too, Ilana. Emma is not my favorite Jane Austen, but that's like saying Amerika is not my favorite Kafka. It's still awfully good. That Anne Fadiman book is in my future. As you know, I loved her Ex Libris.

I get a kick out of your preferring speed-reviewing and speed-lurking over speed-dating. Makes sense to me.

Hope this day is a good one for you.

#145 So sorry to hear today was such a bad one. I've been there before and it's such a lonely feeling. Glad you had Coco and some good books through the door (beautiful covers). And the ability to make hilarious comments about speed dating in the midst of feeling like that is very special!

Anyway, I was listening to music this evening and this track made me think of you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1RvrP7IAY4. It's from my album of the moment (but you are in no way obliged to like my taste in music).

Hope tomorrow (today?) is a better one.

Well heck, Ilana and Paul .. I didn't say do the speed dating for real! My suggestion was to sign up for a speed dating evening just for the fun of it knowing that you aren't intending to really look for a long term relationship. Don't you think that could be fun? You could pretend to be whomever you wanted, put on a different personality just for the evening and just chat blithely with the guys across the table from you. You only get a few minutes with each of them anyway.

Ok, I just read that again, and I hang my head ... I am weird because I actually find that fun. And I sheepishly raise my hand to admit that I've done that twice ...but in my defense, once because I was fed up with whatever was going on in my life at the time and the other time I was just plain bored and looking for a new form of entertainment. Both times left me with plenty of giggly stories to share with my friends after, or to sit and giggle to myself (yes, I've already admitted I'm weird, no need to raise your eyebrows) thinking of some of the speed daters I'd met.

I love those book covers, Ilana, especially the one for At Large and At Small.

#147 Thanks Morphi. I know it passes eventually. And thank goodness for that.

#148 Chelle I got the first episode of The IT Crowd from iTunes this week, which is hear is a very funny (British) show. I'll be watching that very soon if not tonight and will be sure to report on it.

#149 Paul, I'm sure you'll agree with me that if fate decides to intervene, surely it'll spare me having to face speed dating to do so. Otherwise, I'll stick to my lot, thank you very much!

#150 Joe, the reference to Kafka is a bit lost on me since I've only read The Metamorphosis so far and have yet to explore his other work. However, in my first year of exploring Austen's work and not exactly taking to it, Emma turned out to be a very enjoyable read, so I wanted celebrate that.

#151 Heather, thank you for sharing Amy McDonald's music with me. I did not know her before and she's quite powerful. I'm touched that you were thinking of me when you listening to that song. Very sweet of you my dear.

#152 Caro, I can well imagine that an evening out to a speed dating affair could be quite hilarious, and if I was your kind of weird, I'm sure I'd think it's a pretty funny way to pass the time too. No worries, I had fun teasing you a little. Doesn't take all that much to amuse me. ;-)

Hi Ilana, I hope your "communication holiday" is giving you some headspace. Sometimes being in it can be too hard and some time and space away from it all can give you some perspective. Hope your folks chill soon and let you get on with thing your way.

>145 lol, I love your aversion to speed dating. Well your description of it anyway, made me laugh.

>146 These covers are lovely. The only thing I dont like about hardcovers is when they come in a large format, I prefer the mid size, easy on-the-wrist-to-read editions.

>152 that is funny Caro! (funny ha ha, not funny strange)
I think that is a great form of entertainment. But didnt you have to then let them all down gently and break their hearts?

Some where between...reading about issues with your parents (about which i know a lot) and Caro's Speed Dating tips (about which i know nothing)

I'm lost

I love you any way, Ilana-my-dear

I mostly slept today, with Coco cuddled up with me on the couch. Mimi joined us once in a while too. I've been kind of a zombie and haven't done anything worth writing home about, though I did receive three packages containing books. I've already decided to send back a few of them, because I was buying things for the sake of shopping the other day, and also because some of the books suddenly didn't seems so necessary.

The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter for example can be found at the library, and I just don't have space for it, and it doesn't have brilliant reproductions either, so back it goes.

White's Fine Edition of Pride and Prejudice truly is a very nice book, but fact is I already have a pretty edition of it. The same Vintage Editions one I threw at the wall from across the room when I was reading it. Maybe I should read it again with Liz's tutoring and find out if it does become a favourite before spending more money on it. I always have this fear that beautiful editions of books will disappear if I put off buying them, but that's just silly.

Everything is Going to be OK is a cute book, but nothing all that special. I got through it in five minutes and didn't feel like it had incredible messages or artwork that was worth hanging on to.

Then two copies of Hella Jongerius: Misfit seemed a bit excessive, even if I do intend to give one to my friend as a birthday present. I'll just look at it before I give her the one copy. I've run out of space to keep my art books at this point.

But all this won't make up for the money I threw out the window when I went ahead and purchased that asymmetrical fur vest this weekend. As soon as I put it on at home, didn't quite like it so much all of the sudden, and then when I looked up close in the mirror, saw that a small fur patch was coming out. I put it back in the bag immediately to return it asap. Dragged myself to the store yesterday, which was, in hindsight, not very good timing on my part, but I didn't want to put off returning it for too long. They told me they would have to send it off to repairs, and when I balked, offered to give me a credit note instead. They don't normally do refunds, but I tried to gently argue with them that I really didn't want anything else, felt too unwell to shop anyway, and that I shouldn't be penalized if the merchandise was defective, and when I saw that there was no doing and was about to burst into big fat tears, I just declared I was leaving and they could keep the vest and that's that, and walked out, leaving the manager completely stunned. I guess I'll have to swallow my pride and call them at some point to make some kind of arrangement, because it's quite a chunk of money I left behind there. Now I wish I hadn't gotten it at all. I really went insane with the shopping. But so be it.

Two books I AM keeping are the two Anita Brooker's I ordered from Better World Books, Leaving Home and The Bay of Angels. They were in used but "very good" condition and I must say I was impressed to get two good-as-new books, more or less. I loved her Hotel du Lac so much that I look forward to exploring more of her work.

Next up, those speed reviews I've been talking about.

Maybe I should read it again with Liz's tutoring and find out if it does become a favourite before spending more money on it.

Not to put the pressure on, or anything. :)

#154 Megan... I need not worry about my mother giving me space, that's for sure. She's always been one to give me a wide berth. She did put an ocean between us after all. Our last exchange was brief and very unpleasant. She stung me with a comment to the effect that everyone is entitled to their opinions, to which I responded unkindly ("as if your opinions were the most important thing in the world here!") but I doubt she'll take the time to question her approach. Not her style. Meanwhile, I'm just raging. If she cared, she'd try to understand me instead of being so f-ing stubborn and thinking she in the right in thinking I'm doing the wrong thing. I shouldn't be talking about this anymore. It just makes me hopping mad.

#155 I'm lost

That makes two of us Jude.

Not to put the pressure on, or anything. :)

Exactly!

Forgot to mention I finished Doomsday Book this afternoon. Finally!!!

Also decided to give up on Le Grand livre de la tendresse by Jacques Salomé. I'm not in the right headspace to be reading a bunch of essays about tenderness. It's the sort of thing that's best experienced but really grates on me to go on about at length. I'll have to ask Laura (LauraBrook), who picked it for me for my 12/12 challenge to choose something else instead.

23. ♫ Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier ★★★★⅓
(Read for TIOLI #13: Island Challenge, 12/12 Guardian Knows Best)

The narrator, a young woman just barely out of school is working for a rich and unpleasant American woman as a companion, when she meets Maxim de Winter, a man twice her age and recently widowed who nevertheless courts her and asks her to marry him within a couple of weeks. Given the choice between following her employer to New York and spending her life on the renowned Manderley estate with this dashing older man, she opts for a quick marriage and honeymoon in Italy. When the newlywed couple arrive at Manderley and are greeted by the staff, the young woman is immediately made to feel ill at ease. Nothing in her background has prepared her to take charge of this kind of residence, something which the very scary housekeeper Mrs Danvers, who is devoted to the late Mrs De Winter, doesn't fail to make clear. In no time at all, our young woman is convinced she's made a mistake. Her husband seems to have little interest in her and she is convinced that his first wife Rebecca still has a hold on him and everyone else she's ever graced with her charms. Very little actually happens for at least the first half of this novel, but the tension could be cut with a knife, the Gothic atmosphere is brilliantly conveyed, and pretty soon it becomes impossible to know who should and shouldn't be trusted. The audio version is beautifully narrated by one of my all-time favourites, Anna Massey.

24. Drawing from Memory by Allen Say ★★★
(Read for TIOLI Challenge #3: Read a book with a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word)

This graphic novel is a memoir by the illustrator Allen Say, who describes growing up in Japan with a father who disapproved of his son's artistic leanings, but who nevertheless went on to apprentice for one of the leading cartoonists of his childhood. The book, dedicated to his sensei, Noro Shinpei, chronicles Say's evolution as an artist and his eternal appreciation for the man who gave him the training to pursue his greatest love. It's an appealing book and an appealing story, but I can't say I was impressed with the way the book has been put together design-wise. A very personal view with my background as an art-director surely coming in the way, so I still recommend this one as it no-doubt will appeal to many.

Hi Ilana!
I loved Rebecca too. Also read Jamaica Inn by du Maurier and even liked that a bit better. I wonder if there are any others I should read by her? Hmmm.

re the fur vest: did you charge it? Could you call your credit card company to see if you have any options? Good luck.

HI Sweetie
Stopping by to say hang in there!

25. The Secret River by Kate Grenville ★★★★
(TIOLI Challenge #3: a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word - Secret/erects,
and 12/12 Category #12: From My Treasure-Trove)

William Thornhill has known nothing but a hardscrabble life in the rough parts of London in the early 1800s when he is sentenced to death for stealing precious wood. His wife, childhood love Sal, manages to have his sentence changed and they are instead extradited to a convict colony in Australia with their small son in tow. William is a harworker and Sal a very resourceful woman, and within a short few years following a difficult boat passage, William manages to obtain a pardon and put aside some savings in this land where everybody has a past they'd rather put behind them and plenty of opportunities ahead. While boating up and down a river with his employer, another ex-convinct called Blackwood, and as they take merchandise to and from Sydney and the settlers of the Hawkesbury River, Thornhill falls in love with a piece of land and starts dreaming of making it his domain. All a man need do to claim land in this place is to clear a patch of earth, plant a crop, and wait for it to grow. Though Sal dreams of nothing but of returning "home" to London, William convinces her to move their growing brood to this dream place of his where he feels certain their fortunes lay. Though Thornhill is aware that there are natives, "blacks" living hidden among the bushes and the trees, and though he's seen how some of the other colonizers deal with them—with extreme brutality in the case of one of his neighbours, Smasher Sullivan, he doesn't for a moment question that the land is his to take and that the blacks will move on to some other place. But as time goes by and he and Sal must contend with the blacks' growing presence on what he considers to be "his" hundred acres, and what starts as mere disagreements and misunderstandings between him and the natives, with plenty of amusing moments or culture clash, soon mounts to growing tension and violence.

The novel is beautifully written and the pacing excellent, but the as the impeding sense of doom grew, I reached a point near the end when I felt unable to continue. After all, we all know what the fate of the natives of Australia was, as they, like the American natives were mostly decimated, with the few survivors made to live on reserves. But Grenville's characters are multi-dimensional, and Thornhill is a complex man and worthy of our empathy, perhaps because Grenville has based the novel on the experience of one of her forefathers. Whatever the case may be, by the end of the novel, the reader feels like he is still able to draw his own conclusions, though it's quite clear the author is trying to make peace with a difficult past. Not a light read by any means, but well worth the effort.

Hi Ilana- Lots of things to comment on over here! I got so frustrated with Doomsday Book. I know the book has many loyal fans but this one needed serious editing. She seem to drag her feet through every page. I loved the premise and many of the ideas but OMG!
Great review of The Secret River. It's the review I should have wrote. LOL. I can't wait to read more of her work.
I loved The Wall. I know you had mentioned Sis before but nothing clicked...now I'm sold. What were some of your other favorites?
ETA: make sure you post your review, so I can Thumb you!

Mark, I totally agree with you about Doomsday Book. The whole thing could have been cut by half if not down to a third. There was just sooooo much repetition, it literarily felt like it was stomping in place sometimes, which just drove me nuts. I have a pet peeve about repetition, unless it's a device which is used to good effect, which is NOT the case here. Too bad really, because I too really enjoyed some parts of the novel and great premise yes, but I find it difficult to believe it won a Hugo AND a Nebula. Why? It hasn't deterred me from listening to To Say Nothing of the Dog, though I want to give a listen to Three Men and a Boat again first, so it's fresh in my mind (plus, I really enjoyed that one and highly recommend it).

I haven't read enough of Sís yet to recommend any others, though I fully intend to borrow more of his books in near future. Ellen reviewed a couple recently, so you might want to look into those.

I've posted my review on the main page by the way!

Good morning, Ilana. I hope you have something fun planned for the week end to brighten your spirits. Don't go shopping!! I think the fur vest is trying to tell you something. Long walks and puttering with your art work are more creative outlets...lots cheaper, too.

It looks like you're doing well in the reading area. To me, there is nothing better than to get lost in the pages of a good book when life gets challenging. But then, you know that already, don't you? Whatever you decide to do, keep Morphy's advice close to heart. These feelings will pass. Keep on smiling, Ilana. It is hard to feel the weight of the world with a smile on your face -- even if it's a fake smile. ;-)

>153 Sorry about the Kafka analogy, Ilana. He's a fave of mine. A different comparison: I know you like Murakami, so my saying Emma isn't my favorite Austen is like saying Norwegian Wood isn't my favorite Murakami. They're all great, it's just relative.

Like you, I loved Rebecca, and I can imagine it would be fun to listen to on audio. It's a mesmerizing book.

Off to hospital this morning for some pre-operative tests as I'm having minor surgery done on March 1st. It's really nothing, so I shouldn't even mention it as I don't want to worry anyone, but I haven't had much surgery done in my life, so I'm a bit nervous of course. I'll be back in the afternoon to rejoin my fur kids, my books and my wonderful LT friends.

I listened to Études de femmes yesterday, which is an audiobook containing two very short stories by Honoré de Balzac. I thought they were both great, and the second story La Grande Bretèche was wonderfully gothic, with an old abandoned home with a creepy past.

#168 It is hard to feel the weight of the world with a smile on your face -- even if it's a fake smile.

Thanks for reminding me Donna. It's very true. No special plans for the weekend, but reading and art are definitely on the menu. As is LT of course, but I needn't even mention that obviously!

#169 No apologies necessary Joe, I sort of figured it out. Rebecca is a classic I'd been wanting to get to for a long time, and one I'll revisit I'm sure. What really makes or breaks an audio experience is the narrator of course, and in this case, it was a real treat.

Just wanted to wish you good night as I am a bit fluey and am about to take my aching bones off to the land of nod. Less than a day without catching up and your reading has moved on wonderfully with the completing of several of my favourites. Enjoyed Rebecca myself and I didn't have the benefit of Anna Massey. Also enjoyed the film with Joan Fontaine - not many ladies as drop dead gorgeous nowadays to be sure - apparently she was Olivia de Haviland's sister - classical beauty if there ever was.

Mine has just about started but I want to wish you a great weekend - hope the tests go well. xx

Hope the tests go ok today. Really enjoyed your review of The Secret River: "Grenville's characters are multi-dimensional" - after being disappointed with one historical fiction book this month, I particularly enjoyed that aspect of Grenville's novels.

I got swept away by Doomsday Book when I read it but if I put my objective hat on I could probably agree that some editing wouldn't have hurt. For some reason I loved it anyway though.

Same for me on Doomsday Book.

#171 Paul, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Hope you get back on your feet very soon. Had to look up the word "fluey" as I'd never seen or heard it before. Simple enough. The following from IMDB: "Born Joan de Beauvoir de Havilland on October 22, 1917, in Tokyo, Japan, in what was known as the International Settlement. Her father was a British patent attorney with a lucrative practice in Japan, but due to Joan and older sister Olivia de Havilland's recurring ailments the family moved to California in the hopes of improving their health..."

#172 The tests went fine Heather, thanks. They just took my blood pressure, and electrocardiogram and a blood sample. Basic stuff. The surgery is next Thursday and I hadn't really thought of it before with everything else going on. Guess I'll have to make nice with my dad so he can take care of Coco on that day. It's just a day surgery, so really nothing major.

Doomsday Book: I'm not overly fond of long novels to begin with, and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it a lot more had it been drastically cut down. Sometimes I honestly felt like Willis had forgotten she'd already mentioned something three or ten times before... just seemed like there was a lot of unnecessary filler, which grated on my nerves. Hopefully I'll enjoy To Say Nothing of the Dog more.

(Hi Joe!)

Loved your review of The Secret River, Ilana.

I couldn't stand Doomsday Book and threw it aside when I was about half way through. I found it less enjoyable than pulling teeth with a pair of pliers and no novocaine.

*ouch!*

26. Le vieux chagrin (Mister Blue) by Jacques Poulin ★½
(Read for TIOLI Challenge #3: a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word—Mister/merits, 12/12 Litérature Française)

Narrating the story is a middle-aged writer who is having difficulty coming up ideas for his novel, in which he wants to explore a love story. He lives close to the city of Québec in his family home on the bank of the St-Laurence river, and often takes walks along the beach. During one of these walks, he enters a cave in which he used to play as a boy and finds a tome of The Arabian Nights with a name written inside: "Marie K.". There are other sings that the cave is inhabited, and he immediately starts imagining that the person staying there is a woman which he names "Marika" (phonetically the same as Marie K. in French). Throughout this short novel, the narrator is obsessed with this Marika and though he makes attempts to meet her in person, he never does. He does have a young girl as a regular visitor, called La Petite. She is sixteen or seventeen and staying in a shelter for abused women as a victim of sexual abuse and is trying to mend past hurts and move forward. Unlike many readers here on LT who highly recommended it, I didn't enjoy any part of this novel. The narrator's obsession with Marika seemed pathetic to me, but worse was the strange and overly intimate relationship he has with La Petite, who appears in his home whenever she likes, looks though his personal papers and documents without asking permission, sleeps cuddled in bed with him, and demands of him to dredge up and share painful experiences from his past. The only part of the novel I did enjoy was his cat, called "Vieux Chagrin" ("Mister Blue" in English), who appears in the story quite a lot, along with other cats from the area. But otherwise, this book—which I forced myself to finish—left me with a negative feeling which I would have preferred to do without.

#175 I'm glad to hear (read) it Caro. Not the pulling teeth part, but the fact that I'm not the only one who found this one really annoying. The sad thing is that I thought it had a lot going for it, if only she hadn't drowned the whole thing with endless repetitions. So far that's Mark, you and me that I know of who haven't enjoyed it. I really wonder what others found so enjoyable about it.

Ah, too bad, Ilana. I need to get a better feel for what you like and don't like. As you know, I'm a recommender of this one. For me it was a memorable and satisfying reading experience. And the relationship with La Petite was not overly intimate from my POV; that (the lack of the usual kind of intimacy) was a major aspect of the relationship that leads to what she asks in the end.

But we all differ in our reading and our reactions to books in one way or another. Having liked this one, I'm just disappointed it didn't suit you better.

That's ok Joe, I don't expect to like any one book because others did. It often happens that way, but it's hard to determine the factors that will make a book enjoyable to some and a dud to others. I think in this case what didn't help is that the writer is very much my idea of what Québécois writers are like, and which I've been avoiding because I truly dislike a great deal about the French Canadian mentality and culture. Also, sexual abuse was shockingly widespread here in the oppressive 50s and any mention of it makes me highly uncomfortable. I enjoyed the books I followed it up with, so no worries. But it's definitely one of my least favourites of the year. I'll give him one more chance with Translation is a Love Affair before making up my mind about him, which I think is very generous of me considering how much I disliked this one.

27. The Seeing Stone by Holly Black, illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi ★★★⅞
(Read for TIOLI Challenge #3: a word of at least 5 letters in the title that is an anagram of another 5 letter word - Stone/tones,
and 12/12 Category #7: Young at Heart)

In the second book of the Spiderwick Chronicles, we find the Grace children under attack by goblins, with brother Simon and his cat gone missing. His siblings Mallory and Jared find a strange contraption left behind by their great-great uncle which fit on the face creating a sort of lens, and which, once the "seeing stone" (a stone with a hole in it) is inserted, permits the viewer to see what are normally hidden creatures of legend. I'm sure kids must love to be scared by the cruel goblins and an encounter with a troll and a griffon also add to the excitement. This series is geared towards ages 6 to 10, but I find it's good fun and I love the colourful imaginative covers, and interior pen and ink illustrations by Tony DiTerlizzi.

>177 The book sounds like it will be interesting and fun to read, but obviously the execution of it wasn't as it could have been. Shame, it had such promise from your description of the plot!

Megan, you should read some of the other reviews for Mister Blue, because other 75ers (Joe, Caroline and Darryl come to mind) absolutely loved it. It just wasn't my cup of tea.

Hi Ilana, great review of The Secret River
Thumb for you!

Thanks Chelle :-)

Thumb from me, too, for your fab review of The Secret River! Thanks, Ilana.

I've got to say, I do love those thumbs! Thanks Nancy!




We've had heaps and heaps of snow falling since this afternoon. I love it, it's winter wonderland out there again. We haven't gotten nearly enough snowstorms this year, so glad for this one. I'm off to make a cauliflower curry soup from Simply Recipes: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/curried_potato_and_vegetable_soup/ while I listen the the last half hour of This Sceptred Isle: 55 BC-1087. We've just gotten to William the Conqueror. These are original recordings of an award-winning Radio 4 programs (UK). I'm pretty sure I'll continue at least up to Henry VIII.

Hi Ilana - Thanks for the honest review of Mister Blue. That was on my WL (mainly cuz I can't let a book with cats slip between my fingers) but it really doesn't sound like the book for me. The little I have read about this books sounds just a bit weird to me... There's plenty of other books on cats! :)

I am so very sad :(
Just can't get enough snow and winter this year. Tired of rain.
ah well,
"Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again!"

Hi Ilana, I am taking advantage of all my friends that have busy threads to shamelessly promote Mystery March. The thread is up and running, hope to see everyone over there.

Mister Blue can be viewed so differently by people whose opinions I value! As you say Darryl loved it but you found it crud. I'm already intrigued to see which one of you I agree with! Keep warm, enjoy the snow and have a lovely weekend.

Hi Ilana. Just checking in now that I'm back from vacay. More soon, since I'm drowning in laundry and such. I know you're hanging in there because you always do. Hugs & scritches for the fukidz --- and for you, too!

#189 Judy, please go ahead and promote away... it's all for a good cause! I need to start looking up mystery titles to add to my reading list for March—there's no lack of choice, that's for sure!

#195 We had more snow falling today and it's just great. I feel very lucky, because usually February is just too cold for snow. It's been a very strange winter this year over here, and from what I see in quite a lot of other places too.

I wouldn't at all be surprised if you ended up loving Mister Blue Paul. I wouldn't say it's crud, and I know I was harsh with my rating, because if I wanted to be objective I'd say it's well written and an interesting story with deep reflections on life and sorrow, but the fact is I just didn't enjoy it and that's what my rating reflects. So there. :-)

#191 Hi Ellen, how lovely to hear from you! I knew you were back today because I've been following your thread. No matter how busy you are, you can always make a least a bit of time for LT eh? How typical of us avid members!

I'm doing much better today. There's been developments since yesterday since I had to call my dad to ask him to take care of Coco next Thursday when I have my surgery and I took the opportunity to tell him what a huge mistake it was on his part to interfere between my mother and I. He gave me lots of confused and confusing reasons for doing so, but in the end he apologized for it and seemed happy that we were communicating after last week's blowout. We've gone to the brink and back I don't know how many times in the last 40 years. Totally dysfunctional, but then, I guess most people are. I told him at this point, there is no way I'm going to France with things as they are with my mother, when I know she judges me and disapproves of my choices.

As for my mom, she sent me a short email last night asking me if the standoff was meant to last forever or if there was any chance that we can make peace, have bi-lateral talks, etc. She also posted on her blog about the agony she's been going through because of family dramas. I said in an equally short missive that I was willing to make peace, and I'd say yes to bi-lateral talks if I knew what they are. I know politicians have those, but I have no idea what it involves. She's worked in politics a lot, and I know she meant to use the expression humourously. Nothing is resolved of course, and the response she sent me wasn't all that encouraging in the way of indicating that she might be willing to look at things from my perspective, but... as I keep saying, time will tell.

I am on Facebook, and "like" Benjamin Lacombe's page...where I found this:



enjoy!

Books: Finished the audio of This Sceptred Isle Vol 1: Julius Caesar to William the Conqueror 55BC-1087, a BBC Radio production last night. Very interesting and finally gives me a bit more of an understanding about the first peoples that were known to occupy the place we now call Britain. I intend to continue with the series, though of course it focuses almost exclusively on the various wars and transfers of power, which is probably my least favourite aspect when studying history, but it's a good overview all the same. I don't know whether I should count this toward my 75 though, since the actual book based on the programmes covers 55BC to 1901...

I also started and finished the short audio version of Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark last night. I ilke Spark, and though this was definitely familiar territory that she's explored in other books, it was good fun.

Today I started on my first ever China Miéville novel, The City & the City read by John Lee. I had no idea what to expect so was a bit apprehensive, since fantasy can go so many ways, but I've reached chapter 4 and so far I'm really liking it.

Food: I listened as I made a vegetable and potato curry soup to use up an organic cauliflower I'd gotten a couple of weeks ago which was starting to show signs of age. I used a recipe from one of my go-to websites: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/curried_potato_and_vegetable_soup/. I didn't have any bell peppers and substituted the summer squash with sweet potato. Didn't have mustard seeds either, but it turned out quite delicious all the same. Next time I might throw in a bit of fresh ginger too. I wish I'd thought of throwing in bits of tofu too, since I have a piece languishing in the fridge. Oh well.

eta: oh yes, how can I forget... I made another apple crisp. They're quite large, and I've already eaten a good 1/3 to half of it. :-S Maybe I should make them less tasty so they'd last longer.

Artwork: I just finished posting one of our latest projects from our watercolours class on my blog a little while ago. It's actually part 2, so here are the links to both posts if you're interested:

http://createthreesixty5.com/2012/02/24/colour-bands-first-lesson/
http://createthreesixty5.com/2012/02/25/colour-bands-contd/

#193 Ahhhh, that's such a beautiful image! Thanks for posting it here Jude. You know of course that I'm a fan of his. I liked his page at one point too, but I hardly go on FB and rarely think of visiting pages after the first time. Which reminds me I hadn't looked at his blog in quite some time too http://benjaminlacombe.hautetfort.com/. There's been loads of new stuff added since I last went, several months ago now.

*pant pant wheeze* Hi Ilana! I'm finally caught up on your threads! Wahoo!!!!!

I hope you're having a great Saturday night, and taking care of yourself. I agree with everyone else above - you are in the right, your dad is in the wrong here. Childish behavior in the extreme. :(

And, I got your message about the book that I chose for you - sorry it didn't turn out to be so great. Instead of spending hours scrolling through your TBR books (and adding lots to my own TBR list along the way), I picked a new book that you have listed on your TBR This Year list. It's The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende. I'll be reading it for one of my RL bookclubs later this year (I should probably find out when, hey?!?) and thought I could use a little company with the book. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, then how about Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon? That's one that's on my shelves too and I don't know of anyone who's read it yet.

Take care of yourself, dear! And give your furkids an extra cuddle on my behalf! (((HUGS)))

Hi Laura! Phew, I'm sure it was lots of work catching up here! I am indeed having a nice evening. Feeling better than I have in a while.

Parents... I've always been a bit of a mom to them both, even when I was a tiny little thing. I don't think either of them really grew up. Makes for an "interesting" dynamic to say the least.

I'm really happy about the way you went about choosing a book for me. Perfect! That way I don't have to add another one to the list, which is already very ambitious. I've been wanting to read Isabel Allende for quite a while and never seem to get around to it, so that'll give me a push. Just let me know ahead of time when you need to read it so I can plan for it. Lady Audley's Secret was already chosen for me by Kerry, so I'll be reading that one for sure. I have it on audio actually. Will be happy to read it along with you. I can't remember now, do you do the TIOLI challenges?

Coco's by my side, so I just gave him a bit of a stroking for you. Right now I think what'll make him happiest is if I take him for a walk, so I'm off to it!

Ilana - I am just as likely to follow your route with Mister Blue as Darryl's or Caro's. Love reviews that are opinionated and not following the crowd. In truth and in keeping with my fondness for mischief I enjoy a negative reviw far more than a positive one!

We both have an interesting set of parents don't we? I am reading Kissinger as you might have noticed and your communications with your mum could well signify a slight thaw in cold war relations!
Don't whatever you do go to France for anyone other than yourself otherwise it would be a disaster I'm sure.
Love history in general and British history primarily and I have heard the radio programme you are now enjoying with the dulcet tones of Ms. Massey.
I am also fond of most of Spark's novels although after so long they have tended to blend into each other somewhat. I do remember enjoying The Girls of Slender Means but recall specifically little of it.

Curry soup - I love both so I will pester SWMBO to add this to her repertoire.

Thank you for the other Lacobme link

...and i hope you know i love you...but can only do so much to help you with Family issues

you are my heart

city and the city - good to see you enjoying it kept me thinking for some time afterwards --- still to read others by China planning to read embassytown soon - maybe unless something else catches my attention

192> next Thursday when I have my surgery I had completely missed this detail of your life!!! I'd like to know more, if you're willing to share...
In any case, I'm glad you and your dad stepped back from the brink. I don't know what your mom means by bi-lateral talks (like you, I know what they mean in politics, but in your mum's case I would worry that it's code for "I get to decide what equal air-time looks like") and I'm glad you're just giving yourself permission to keep some distance. Family relationships can so treacherous. Only you can figure out how much connection you can tolerate and trust, while still maintaining your integrity and managing your self-care.
Apple crisp. Yum. I think that would go nicely with a chilled Sauvignon Blanc....

Nice post Ellen. Finished off very nicely with Sauvignon Blanc!
Ilana you teased us a little by mentioning that you were going for diagnosis on Thurs/Fri? But then that you were scheduled for a minor procedure days later. Take care of yourself. x

#198 Paul, it's one of my little secrets that I enjoy a negative review too. In fact, it's not entirely out of the question that I may have forced myself to finish a book or two (or three) that I didn't like just so I could have the pleasure of panning it later. This may have been the case with Mister Blue, but I'll never tell. ;-)

This Sceptred Isle: I've gone ahead and gotten Vol. 2, which I'll no doubt listen to in very near future. Apart from my reservation about it being focused on war, I also couldn't help but notice that there are very strong religious overtones, with plenty of mention of "heathens" and glorification of the Good Christians and plenty of mentions Our Lord. I've decided to overlook that for Ms. Massey's sake, but it niggles.

I can definitely see how Muriel Spark's novel would start blending into one another. They already have started doing so for me. For instance, the previous novel I read by her recently was A Far Cry from Kensington, and both novels have women living in boarding houses, with one character working in publishing (these appear in ALL the books I've read by her, save for Miss Jean Brodie, who is a teacher), are single and unpopular with men. Wait a minute... that could have been me in my previous life!

#199 You're a sweetie Jude. And no worries, I don't expect anyone to come up with solutions for my family troubles. Only I can work that out, but it does help to air the out and look at them from different angles.

#200 Embassytown has a very intriguing narrative that appeals to me, but I thought I should start with something relatively more "simple". Though The City & The City presents quite a brain twister. Still, it's very engaging. I look forward to exploring his various genres.

#201 Ellen, I'm having axillary surgery to remove surplus breast tissue It basically forms a big lump in my armpit and sometimes really hurts. There's no question of it being a tumour or anything like that, so it's really not serious, but I'll still be going under general anaesthetic. I've had only a couple of minor interventions in the past, and considering I used to be phobic about hospitals, it's hard to believe that I'm the one who requested this procedure!

I wouldn't even consider having my apple crisp with wine. Eeeeeek! It's organic milk for me, which I have with all my sweets. I used to love wine, but generally don't really enjoy alcoholic drinks much since I starting mostly tasting the alcohol content. It comes and goes though, so I am able to indulge and appreciate the occasional bottle now and then.

#202 Paul, the tests were just to verify my blood pressure (which has always been, and continues to be excellent), take some blood tests and an electrocardiogram to ensure all is in order before the surgery I mentioned to Ellen above.

I'm really excited about the new TIOLI challenges, and right now have just a small window of time during which I can either post more short reviews (since I'm always behind no matter what I do), or choose some books for the various challenges. Maybe I can try doing a bit of both? We'll see...

Ilana - your secret on negative reviews is out....well sort of. My blood pressure continues to confound SWMBO by its normality. With infection I occasionally suffer from low blood pressure but I think she feels cheated that every time I get checked they can't find anything at all wrong with me!

Could bilateral talks be an attempt at humor, with your mother hoping to defuse the tension? I constantly -- still! -- feel caught between my divorced parents, with my father pretending he was never married to my mother at all -- despite nearly 30 years evidence to the contrary -- and my mother still unable to get past the divorce, more than 20 years later. My father can be callous & my mother can be obsessive. Ugh.

This Sceptered Isle may give you a good basis of the facts to help you manoeuver through some of the more complex issues later -- and help you figure out what periods & personalities interest you and what don't? (I've never been able to get enthusiastic about Disraeli or Gladstone...)

xo

Please keep us posted regarding the date of your surgery.

Hugs to you.

#205 Paul—she feels cheated? That's a joke, right? It's too early in the morning for me to know the difference...

#206 Hi Suz! Yes, bilateral talks is definitely her attempt at humour, but still, what does it mean?? Must be difficult to be caught between two parents who haven't resolved their separation properly. I never knew my parents as a couple since they separated when I was a baby, but my mom complained about my father plenty as I was growing up for being a deadbeat dad. As you say... Ugh.

That's my general intent with This Sceptered Isle, though I have to admit I particularly look forward to getting to Henry VIII in part 3 or 4 (can't recall which right now), as I do want to read more about the Tudor era. I'm hoping it'll prepare me somewhat for Wolf Hall, though there are other books I want to read for that too.

#207 xox back to you Ellen! :-)

#208 Linda, my surgery is scheduled for Mach 1st, next Thursday. They'll be calling me next week to tell me at what time I need to show up. I love the little gif image you've posted. Very cute!

Morning Ilana! What the heck are you doing up so early? We usually don't see you, until later in the PM. Hey, it's a pleasant surprise. The City & The City was my 1st Mieville too. He is not always an easy author to engage with but he is always interesting and a very good writer.

Hi Mark, I'm wondering what I'm doing up right now too. I was feeling peckish, so helped myself to a chunk of apple crisp, then thought I'd check in here for a bit, but quite honestly, I'm headed back to bed. 4.5 hours of sleep just isn't enough for me. See you later! :-)

Ilana - er yes I think I was kidding my dear, although I do wake up sometimes in the middle of the night with her hand poised above my nose checking that I am still actually breathing!

Hi Ilana, after the Shepherd's Pie this is now the second time that your cooking inspired my Sunday meals. I just had a small bowl of the curried potato and vegetable soup (with some different vegetables and spices) and tried my first apple crisp ever to which I also added a pear. Can't believe how simple that was and not as fat as a crumble. I made enough of both for the next couple of days. If I can stay away from that crisp that means... I had black coffee with mine and white wine with the soup. I don't think I ever had a glass of milk with food, not even as a child. Interesting idea, maybe I'll try that. Where I live milk is more of an ingredient and added to coffee only in the morning.

The Secret River sounds like a book I might like, especially as I liked her Idea of Perfection so much when I read it in January. However I think it doesn't fit my mood either right now. I'll put it on my watchlist.

All I can think is that she is acknowledging (indirectly, humorously) your status as an independent 'nation' or 'entity'.

Lovely that you are reading and enjoying Mieville. I was an intense Spark fan for awhile, and I can't argue with the fact that there is a kind of theme running through all the novels that does kind of run them together a bit, but that's true of quite a few novelists I like. They're chewing away at some fundamental issue or concern, always trying different angles, is how I look at it. Other writers never want to repeat themselves.....

I'm glad you're enjoying Mieville, too, Ilana. I liked The City and The City a lot, and thought Embassytown was excellent. The latter is pretty darn challenging, but worth it.

Hi Ilana, just catching up with your goings on, sounds like your dad has moved into a slightly more user-friendly space? I guess the relationship will always be strained (based on the character traits you have mentioned), so it is unfortunately up to you to make the most of it. Which is what you are trying to do from what I can gather.
At least you'll always have books and art! Lovely water-colour-bands. Do they remind me of Gretchen Albrecht? Maybe.

#212 Paul, perhaps you should have thought twice before taking up such a huge life policy insurance—and may I be added to it as a benefactor please?

#213 Glad to inspire you with my cooking Nathalie, all the more so considering I do so very little of it! I hope you still had curry as a spice in the curried vegetable soup! lol. I've always guzzled milk as if it was going out of style and continue to do so to this day. Most people seem to think it's quite unusual for an adult to drink half to a full litre per day, but it's probably my main source of protein and I'm sure has something to do with my milky skin (well, that and lack of exposure to the sun, probably)!

I've added The Idea of Perfection to my wishlist. Looked for you review of it on the book's main page and couldn't find it, but spotted a review by Tania (wookiebender) which quite sold me on the *idea* of it. As I always say, I just love getting hit by book bullets on my own thread, keep them coming! ;-)

#214 Oh yes, that would be her way of referring to my independent status. She's always been very keen on that idea and used to love it when I was a toddler even when I called her by her first name, as opposed to saying "mommy". And yes, that would be her kind of dry humour. I don't get it from the neighbours.

I agree that it can be very enjoyable following certain writers in their iterations of the same issues. Apparently, Anita Brookner is another one who does that, and I look forward to reading the two other books I acquired by her recently, as adored her Hotel du Lac. Funny though to mention Mieville and Spark in the same sentence since they both have pretty well opposite styles when it comes to their approach to new vs familiar territory.

#215 Joe, as much as I'm intrigued by Embassytown, I think I'll probably read the more approachable Perdido Street Station before I get into that one. I do have the feeling, as you say, that it's quite challenging just from having read the premise, though it does sound quite fascinating and I'm quite interested in this whole idea of communication, language and translation, having been trilingual at one point in my life and experiencing difficulty ever finding the right language to properly express my thoughts.




I just updated my tickers for "books read off the shelf" vs "books purchased" and so far, it doesn't look like I'm doing too well with 12 vs 19. I had no unrealistic expectations of reading 10 books to each purchased or even five or two... one-for-one was a reasonable goal for now (or so I thought, all things being relative), but then again, I used to spend quite a lot more when I was a *preferred customer* at J Crew online! I got worried when they started sending me little gifts to thank me for my patronage and knew I'd better put a stop to that! So far, neither BookDepository or Audible are sending me gifts, so it must mean I'm being responsible (though maybe that $10 coupon from Audible should be taken as a warning?)

Beautiful day outside. Coco and I are off to the library, and then I hope we'll have enough daylight left so I can do some artwork with the natural light. I like my apartment except for the fact that it's not often bright in here, but am glad the days are slowly but surely getting longer.

am glad the days are slowly but surely getting longer A hearty "hallelujah" to that!!! It was nice sitting here in my living room reading yesterday, and realizing it was well after 5pm and the sun was still up. Whew.

Mieville is not an author I know at all.

You are on both of Paul's tops lists (posts and books read). I always knew you were a champion!

Ellen, I had never heard of him before I joined this group last year. He seems really popular in these parts. I'm finding The City & The City to be engrossing—I always know I'm really enjoying an audiobook when I suddenly decide to take care of a bunch of menial tasks I'd been putting off before... and that was the case today. He apparently specializes in the Urban Fantasy genre, which I didn't really *get* before, but this book makes it very clear to me. He's written close to a dozen quite poplar books, several of which I've read nothing but good things about. So far I have his Perdido Street Station on the wishlist along with King Rat, and am going to add Embassytown to the list. Apparently he likes to explore different genres with each book, which is quite unusual for an author (I think? though right now Margaret Atwood comes to mind and I'm sure there are many others). Anyway, he's been on the radar for quite some time and I'm glad I finally jumped in. I would have gone with Perdido Street Station first, but it's quite a big tome, and for some reason, Audible requires two credits for it which is really unusual so... eventually I'll get it.

eta: I always knew you were a champion!

That made me laugh out loud :-D

I'm sure my mom would be proud! LOL

I liked Perdido Street Station a lot, and look forward to hearing what you think of it, Ilana.

Joe, I just thought about you as I was typing that response to Ellen, and wanted to ask you which of his books you've read and most enjoyed and... why?

Hi Ilana- Did you get some well-needed rest, my friend?

Hahaha Ilana - details of my will are of course not be divulged unless it kills me!?
Notice that Ellen has picked up on my comment over at my place that you are the only one in the top 15 of both my lists (posting and reading). My record seems to show that men gossip more than women and that women read more (or more quickly) then men.

Ooo, that's a tough one, Ilana. "Most enjoyed" of the Mievilles I've read? They're all so different, although The Scar is set in the same world as Perdido Street Station.

Perdido Street Station was the first of his I ever read, and it had a lot of impact on me because it was so good and so unlike anything else I had read. But I'd pick The City and the City. I like mysteries, for one thing, and it's his venture (I guess) into that genre. And I loved the portrayal of the overlapping cities. Embassytown I appreciated for the challenge and how thought-provoking it was.

I didn't like two of his that others have liked: The Kraken and Un Lun Dun.

I think I'll put Perdido Street Station on hold at the library.
Or maybe The City and the City.
Or both. :-)

Hi Ilana - nice to see you smiling again :)

#194 Your artwork is beautiful - there are a few that I recognize: my salt marsh, the Mighty Kennebec, a shy, young woman's face (eyelashes) ... good work! You are getting me interested in watercolors - love the bands!

I guess it's time to put Mieville on my radar. I am truly amazed how behind I am sometimes.
Don't tell anyone... I'm actually just beginning to notice and remember authors' names! Sometimes. ;-)

#222 Hi Mark, thanks for asking. I probably slept more than I should have, but I think I feel better for it.

#223 I'll have to pop onto your thread next. I've been slowed down by the Oscars tonight. What's with Angelina sticking out her stick-thin leg out like that? I think she's high on drugs, don't you? (great dress though)

#224 Thanks Joe, you've pretty well mentioned the three that were on the top of the list for me. I guess you've not read King Rat then?

#225 Ellen, the only reason I haven't read Perdido Street Station yet is because of it's size, but I look forward to getting to it.

#226 Hi Claudia, I'm so glad to be out of the worst of the oppression. If ever time travel becomes a reality, that is one week I will NEVER revisit if I can help it.

I wish I knew what you see in those paintings and where... and what is the Mighty Kennebec??

I wouldn't say you're behind Claudia. Every time I look on this site I discover a book or author I'd never heard about, and that everybody else seems to be already familiar with. That's part of the fun!




I'm watching the Oscars while I type this, am I the only one mixing pleasure with pleasure right now?

eta: The short animated film The Fantastic Flying Books just won an Oscar—guess we'll have to get hold of that one!

Here it is!

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Adzywe9xeIU.

It's about 15 minutes long.

Oh Pat! Thanks so much for posting the link again... so sorry I hadn't watched it sooner. Still watching the Oscars, but I'll for sure watch it tomorrow.






I'm so THRILLED that Jean Dujardin won the best actor Oscar! I was rooting for him all the way. In fact, I think I fell in love with him a little when I saw The Artist.

WOOOOOOOT!!! The Artist wins!!! I knew it would, even though I hadn't seen seven out of the nine nominated.

Must go see Hugo ASAP. And The Artist too. Again.

I still need to see The Artist. And Hugo.

On the other hand, watched a dvd of Brideshead Revisited this evening. It started out alright but became tiresome in a hurry. I dozed through part of it.

I'm glad you mixed in some pleasure with your pleasure. ;-)

Perdido Street Station does come in over 800 pages so not surprising that its 2 credits .... great to se we have more converts though ....... YAY!

Ilana - nice to see something out of the ordinary take home the prizes. Based on the golden globes The Descendants was obviously favoured to win and I have only seen War Horse from the list of nominees and enjoyed it but didn't think it would win anything.
Angelina would not be my pick amongst the actresses if had a choice for a one-off date. Winona Ryder would be a candidate certainly because she is sweet, mysterious and it would be nice to eat in a pristine restaurant with stolen cutlery. Another candidate would be Jennifer Aniston as it might give me an insight as to exactly why all her guys seem to leave her and of course there's Rachel Weisz...

Oh, my gosh! Yes... I finally had to look up this Rachel Weisz woman. Was not familiar with her at all - but there is a striking resemblence between you two! Beautiful...

Anywho... I have not seen any of the movies that were up for Oscars. So - if you are happy with the winners, so am I. :) Maybe we will get to see some now that I have Sat evenings free. *silly grin*

The Mighty Kennebec is a river that goes from up north somewhere all the way to the Atlantic and spills out next to my island. In many deeds for property along the river, it is designated "the Mighty Kennebec"! It is deep and treacherous at our end.

I wouldn't expect you to recognize my local landscape - but surely you can pick out the shy woman? I see images in just about everything abstract... whether it's there or not. Probably a psych thing. lol

Thanks Cee - now it is not just Mark and myself sayin so!

#231 Ellen, I'm assuming you'd read Brideshead Revisited before watching the movie? It's on my TBR along with a few other Evelyn Waugh novels I hope to get to soon. Sorry you didn't enjoy the movie. The Artist and Hugo should be a lot more fun.

#232 I always did think there was a sect-like fanaticism about Miéville... you've just confirmed it! ;-)
Seriously though, I may just throw in the two credits and get the audiobook otherwise I may never get around to it.

#233 Angelina has to be on drugs. What a strange person! Did you actually watch the Oscars? What was up with the leg?? Here she was wearing a classy dress and acting like a street hooker. Yikes! No wonder you wouldn't pick her!

#234 Claudia, you're too kind. I hope you do take advantage of your time off to do fun stuff. The cinema is always bound to be a relaxing night out. Based o what you say about my painting, I'll have to go look for the shy woman. Care to give me a clue as to which of them you saw her in?

#235 You're all just in collusion. I'm sure Rachel Weisz herself wouldn't be too thrilled at the comparison. lol




I have a piece of organic fillet mignon waiting to get cooked and eaten. I hardly ever cook meat, and certainly never cooked filet mignon, so I just hope it doesn't turn into shoe leather the way it usually does. Will try making a pepper sauce with it too. The only trouble is it's hard to eat steak AND surf around LT... will have to come back later tonight to report on the results.

Ilana, I have not yet read Brideshead Revisited but was already thinking of a TIOLI challenge that I might issue for June so I can read it and get tioli points. :-) The movie didn't increase my desire to read it, but since I almost always find the book to be better than the film, I'll keep it on my TBR list.

Love those images, Cee!

Hi Ellen -

Ilana did them - and more!
Check out #194 (under Artwork)

#237 Salt marshes and Mighty Kennebec, I can well imagine. But the shy woman Cee? You always manage to crack me up! xx

#238 Hi Ellen! I've only read one novel by Evelyn Waugh so far, and that is Vile Bodies, which I enjoyed so much I went out and got four more of his books, so I'll happily join you whenever you're ready. Glad you like my paintings ;-) I was a bit surprised to see Claudia had posted them here! lol



Steak turned out ok. The sauce was delicious, but I salted the meat too much and didn't get it that perfect medium-rare I love so much. I used the following recipe http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/peppercorn_steak/ and finally learned about the finger test technique. Simple, but I obviously need practice.

I'll wrap it up now, even though I'd love to visit threads, but have two doc appointments tomorrow and want to get some decent reading time in tonight. Not making much progress on Sea of Poppies because I just don't set enough time aside for it. I'd love to have it finished before the end of the month, but doesn't look like it's likely to happen that way. I'm enjoying it though. Almost done with The City & The City. I'm in the third and final part and I think I'll need someone to explain it to me a little when I'm done with it, because I'm a bit confused. Maybe it'll all become clear in the end? We shall see.

Last year, I listened to Jeremy Irons narrate perform Brideshead Revisited. Fabulous!! (found a place on my 2011 Bests). I highly recommend.

All caught up *pats self on back*
I wouldn't be itching to sit next to Angelina at the Oscars, too famous, too jaded and too skinny! :)

Ilana, I love your work. I'm so glad Claudia posted them here. I've had such a hard time catching up and keeping up with threads lately that I skipped right over the links in post #194. Nice!!

Hm, I wonder about finding the audio version of Brideshead Revisited with Jeremy Irons. I've only listened to one audiobook, but that sounds like a good one.

I haven't been to a movie theater for almost 3 years. There used to be one where I live now, but it went bankrupt and was closed in March 2009. I looked through the windows several times on my walks and nothing has been changed there - 3 year old pop corn is waiting behind the glass of the snacks counter. So far I could watch DVDs instead, but now "The Artist" is the first film I'd love to see in a theater. *sigh*

The dog looks exactly like my parents' old dog Emma who died in 2010. I keep posting them pictures of that dog and my mother prints and collects them because they remind her so much of Emma.

I've seen pictures of Angelina from other events - she has done that leg trick before. I liked her better at her Tomb Raider time with a little more flesh on her bones. She looked much healthier then.

I love the paintings! Definitely 'put on the wall of your living room and proudly show to visitors' material. The more you look at them the more you see. Are those eyelashes on the top one? Beautiful!

Delurking to say that I also love the watercolors!

Ilana, your watercolors are beautiful and Bahzah has come up with the perfect titles! You two make a great partnership.

Yes, I agree - beautiful and well-named.

Well, I'm glad to see someone has an eye for art, Nathalie! Yes indeed - the first one is the eyelash lady! See Ilana?

I'm sorry if I was out of line posting your watercolors here - I only wanted to point out which ones I was talking about and couldn't think of a better way. And now I'm kinda glad I did so others could enjoy them too.
I should have asked you first. Do you forgive me? Pls?

#241 Nancy, that particular audiobook was on my Audible wishlist for quite some time, and then I got the physical book, which doesn't preclude me caving in and getting the recorded version. I have Lolita read by Jeremy Irons to look forward to.

#242 Megan, I don't think I'd care very much to sit next to any actor at the Oscars. Only very rarely do I get star struck. I figure they're just people after all, and probably with even bigger problems than us mere mortals!

#243 Ellen, do they carry any audiobooks at your library? You might find it there. I'm glad Claudia posted those there too, because it's likely quite a lot of people skipped over those links. I'll repost them shortly. It's so rare these days I post anything (or make anything, to start with), that I like to show results when I can!

#244 That's such a sad fate for your local cinema. And yes, The Artist is one of those movies that is really worth seeing on the big screen, but I think you'll enjoy it all the same when it comes out on video.

Angelina: I used to be quite fascinated with her in my 20s, but I guess I grew out of it. She seems to have major problems, and I wouldn't trade my life for hers, that's for sure.

Thanks for the compliments on my paintings Nathalie. I wonder though, did you see them at a larger size on my blog? I'll post the link again in another message shortly.

#245 Thanks Mamie, glad you delurked! :-)

#246 You two make a great partnership

I agree with you Judy. I think I'll have to hire Claudia to find titles for all my work since I never think about that. I'm probably too close to it to see it in an objective way.

#247 Thanks Joe, I agree the titles are wonderful too!

#48 Claudia, I do see the eyelashes now. I rarely see anything in abstract art since I tend to just look at colour and shapes. I've never been able to look at the clouds and see images in them either. My brain must be wired differently than most people's. Something to do with lacking the ability to fully appreciate poetry. Maybe someday...

My dear, you have nothing to apologize about. I wasn't bothered in the least by you posting my work here—quite the contrary, I was quite flattered and amused. In fact, it made me think that I probably shouldn't have posted just the links, but included a visual so that visitors would take notice of it more readily, so I'll do that now and repost the link. I rarely do work that makes me feel good, so may as well share when I'm happy with it, right? So here I go with a bit of shameless self-promotion... ;-)

Scroll to the bottom of this painting to find a link to my work:


Here is the link to my blog where you can view my latest watercolour paintings larger in slideshow format: http://createthreesixty5.com/2012/02/25/colour-bands-contd/

Book Talk: Finished The City & The City by China Miéville last night. I was really liking it, and it definitely stretched my imagination, but I was completely confused by the last part, which took away from my enjoyment in the end. I have a hard time understanding complicated plot twists. My brain just refuses to go through the required processing, so I'm sure others wouldn't have the same problem with it as I did.

Started on the newly released all-star cast of performers audio version of Dracula today. I've never read the book, only seen movie versions so far, but I think I'll enjoy this classic. Funny, because I'm not at all tempted by most of the contemporary vampire fiction out there, but going back to the original really appeals. I guess I must be really old fashioned at heart!

Life stuff: I'm getting a bit nervous about my surgery coming this Thursday. Got a call from the hospital today to tell me I need to be there at 9 a.m. My father has offered to come over to my place to take care of Coco while I'm gone, and also help me around if I'm feeling disoriented after I get home. He doesn't drive or have a car, so picking me up isn't doable, but I called my regular cab company to ask if I could get a driver to go up the first flight of stairs to my front door with me, and seems that won't be a problem, so I'm all set really. I just hope my father doesn't drive me completely crazy. He's such a neurotic that things get complicated with him really fast, as many of you have witnessed this month. I'll have to practice my deep breathing starting today.

Two therapy sessions today left me quite depleted, so I'll log off for now and do a bit of reading. Will come back later to try to catch up on the threads.

I'll be interested to hear what you think of Dracula, Ilana - I think it's better than its reputation. It's also Madeline's "exception that proves the rule" classic. :)

Fingers crossed for your surgery!

Wouldn't have minded sitting next to Ken Branagh at the Oscars! He is interesting, albeit a bit of a luvvie. Angelina is an interesting character -- her dramatic side is such a turnoff, but then she is so engaged in rather effective philanthropic work that that is interesting. I also hear through the grapevine from a reliable source that she is also a very hands-on mother, which I doubt is the Hollywood norm. Re la Aniston, the guy she's dating now is Paul Theroux's nephew; I was talking to the latter's wife (who does PR for luxury hotels and other clients), and she said they're all hoping they will get married. Sheila is Chinese-American, despite an Irish surname, and believes that all Ms. A needs is a Chinese auntie. I've gotta imagine that it would be infuriating after all these years to walk past magazines that all proclaim that you're still obsessed with your ex husband and with not having a child. OK, I'm not a particularly massive fan of her work, but she's a working actress in her 40s, doing well at what she has chosen to do with her life -- why assume she's miserable??

OK, rant over. I hope the surgery goes well; do you have another friend you can call on if Dad becomes too neurotic? He's there to look after you, not you there to calm him down, after all, especially in these circumstances. You have to find a way to tell him up front, I think, that while you really appreciate the intent, it's gonna backfire if he drives you crazy, and have some kind of backup plan. Having cared for a friend post-heart surgery last summer, I admit that while I got furious when he got irritable, it also ensured that I wasn't hovering or driving him nuts. (Though I was VERY glad to get home after several days...)

>253 good goss on Aniston Chatterbox, we know where to come for celebrity updates from now on :)

Ilana, I second what's been said above. Is there a backup plan for your post surgery care? Or can you stay in hospital til you feel comfortable being alone (or is that ridiculous wishful thinking on my part?). It would be nice not to have to stress out when youre trying to recuperate. Dont be nervous, you'll be in good steady hands in hospital im sure.

Hi Ilana. Will be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping you don't need too much deep breathing to cope with your Dad.

#254, not sure there will be a lot more! The story I was going to do with Sheila's client kinda blew up. (Bad choice of words...) He was the manager of the Taj Mumbai, lost his family in the terrorist attack there, and is rebuilding his life in Boston. But he wanted us to refrain not only from asking about the tragedy (fair enough), but even mentioning the facts in a sentence in the story, which wasn't terribly reasonable. Would have made the magazine look a bit silly, as the Taj folks are advertisers. So, no trip to Beantown. Which is just as well, as I have to go to DC. Enuf blather, however. Still, if I do get little tidbits floating over to me, I promise to let you know!!

Hmm, a thought -- can Coco be trained as a nursing assistant? Am quite sure that canine care would be less stressful than that of the paternal variety for you, by the sound of it!! The cats here would volunteer, although I'm not sure I could count on them to do more than curl up and purr. They are fundamentally lazy critters.

Suz - hahaha at the thought of Coco in his doctor's whites.

Ilana - thinking of you as Thursday approaches in this part of the world. Trust you are fine and that your Dad will come up trumps for you and not the opposite.

I'll be thinking of you - hope all goes well and everything everyone above has said.

Ilana, I will be thinking about you tomorrow! I predict that you will just sleep, sleep, sleep for the first several hours after returning home, so hopefully your dad can just take care of little Coco, bring you a bit of broth when you feel hungry/thirsty, and leave you be.

Take care of yourself today, Ilana. I hope you're able to give yourself permission to read, walk Coco, cuddle with Mimi (and Ezra? does he cuddle?), and do things that are soothing. {{{Ilana}}}

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. Here's hoping that your father doesn't add to your stress.

Hope the surgery goes well, Ilana. We'll all be thinking of you.

I'm glad you liked The City and the City. Here's an interview with Mieville in which he explains some of his intentions in writing it: http://bldgblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/unsolving-city-interview-with-china.html

Ilana, I also hope all goes very well tomorrow and the odds are it will. If you have time today, I'd recommend listening to relaxation audios. They made a huge difference to me before my surgery and really calmed me down. I slept like a baby the night before. I also pictured all my LT friends being there with me and that helped too. And we will all be thinking of you and sending lots of healing vibes your way so try to focus on that. ((((Ilana))))

I am thinking of you and hope everything will go well tomorrow. And I hope your dad will stay calm, maybe you should teach him the breathing techniques as well? As phebj says, listen to something relaxing and think of Coco, Mimi and Ezra welcoming you home again. Sending hugs to you!

Ilana, I'm thinking of you and hoping the surgery went well.

Hi Ilana,
Try to take Pat's rec to stay calm and focused. She did remarkably well herownself - and you will too.

You know we will all be with you in prayer, thought and spirit - expecting the very best outcome for you. You are special to us.

Don't waste energy thinking about any little thing that could go wrong with your father... think positive and keep smiling.
You're gonna feel so much better when it's all over :)
Gentle hugs and more gentle hugs for you, my dear brave one!

Good luck tomorrow!! Hope everything goes as planned!

Best wishes for surgery and quick recovery!

Wow, I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and good wishes over here. I almost feel bad about talking about this surgery at all... it's so minor compared to what some of you have gone through, but all the same, it's much appreciated. Thank you Liz, Suzanne, Megan, Heather, Paul, Lucy, Ellen, calm, Joe, Pat, Nathalie, Linda, Claudia, Chelle and Roni for dropping by today, you're all very kind and thoughtful.

I've been taking it very easy today. Been very fatigued this week after all the drama this month, so don't feel guilty at all about getting plenty of sleep to rest my fragile nervous system. I've done some reading, listened to Dracula while I walked Coco and while I went to pick up some parcels at the post office, shopped on Audible for their two-for-one sale and gotten more goodies. All the masses of stationary I ordered last week has arrived, and I'll be returning most of it when I'm healed enough to carry it back to a store. Most of it looked great on the online photos, but when it got here didn't appeal quite so much. Besides the fact that I truly just kept adding stuff to my shopping cart without much thought and completely overdid it. Still, keeping a few lovely notebooks and a candle. As for the two-for-one, I got:

♫ 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (was on the wishlist)
♫ The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh
♫ Middlemarch by George Eliot (was on wishlist)
♫ The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins (was on my wishlist because of the narrators, even though I have the book)

I also received all the Penguin Threads books I'd posted in message #99, along with a couple of others I'd mentioned.

Next, I'm torn between just laying on the sofa and reading more from Sea of Poppies (I'm halfway through and getting really into it now), or doing an hour of artwork of some sort, as our teacher urged us to do. She said we should put aside AT LEAST one hour in the week, but I know I need to find a way to do something every day, even if it's just for 10 minutes.

Will reply to you each individually next.

Hi Ilana- I'm sure everything will be fine tomorrow, but I'll send some best wishes and positive vibes, to you anyway! I'll send along a warm hug too!
Glad you are getting caught up in Sea of Poppies. It's such a great read!

#252 Liz, I'm a quarter of the way through Dracula and really enjoying myself. I did not realize that the whole novel was told in epistolary exchanges and journal entries, and am finding it quite thrilling, as I love seeing (or hearing) a story unfold through various points of view. I honestly don't know what it's reputation is, so had no expectations one way or another. Care to tell me what it is now that it can't sway me either way?

#253 Suz, I loved the star gossip. Nothing like having info via insiders to stoke the fires. The truth is when it comes to these mega-stars (or any person in the world, when it comes down to it) is that the only people who really know what's going on are those intimately involved in their lives. I could start getting all philosophical here and ask wether the protagonists themselves ever really know what's going on in their own lives, but won't go there today. ;-)

The reason I asked my father is that I unfortunately can't think of anyone who'd be willing to help out. There might be, but I wouldn't know who. My best friend Kim and I see each other very rarely because she is busy with work and her family and I don't ask her in these times because don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position. However, unlike your ordeal this summer with your heart surgery friend, I should be able to take care of myself the very same day. I've been zonked out of my mind on medication and other things plenty of times in my life and managed just fine, so if my father gets out of line, I'll just thank him and tell him I'll be fine on my own. I'm staying positive and hoping all will go well.

#254 Megan, I doubt they'll let me stay in hospital very long once I've come to after the surgery. But as I said above, I'm sure all will be fine.

#255 Thanks Heather. I'll give some news here as soon as possible too.

#256 Hmm, a thought -- can Coco be trained as a nursing assistant?

That's an awesome idea! Only Coco, bless his tiny little heart is proving to be not quite in the brainy category and seems to have difficulty understanding some of the most basic things sometimes, even though I'm very consistent with him and repeat the same routine over and over again. What can I say... he's a blonde... but he certainly means well.

The cats here would volunteer, although I'm not sure I could count on them to do more than curl up and purr.

I can count on at least Mimi to cuddle up and do the same once in a while. If not, there's always my laptop I can tether myself to. ;-)

#257 Thanks Paul, you're a dear.

#258 Thank you Lucy, much appreciated.

Well, it's generally tagged as an "important" book but one that isn't very good. I don't think it's a great novel, but I do think it's a great story.

I also think there are two really important aspects to it as a whole, one of which is the repeated use of technology - cutting-edge for when the novel was written, and a crucial weapon in the heroes' hands - and something else I won't mention until you've finished, because of spoilers. Enjoy! :)

#259 I predict that you will just sleep, sleep, sleep for the first several hours after returning home

Yes, that's very likely Ellen, especially as I'll have to get up much, much much earlier than I'm accustomed to these days to get ready tomorrow morning. As long as I'm able to hold a book after, all will be fine. And if not, I've always got my audiobooks!

#260 Thanks calm, may the heavens make my father serene and nurturing, as he sometimes, occasionally can be.

#261 Thanks for the link to the interview Joe. I'll come back and read it with interest later.

#262 You're very sweet Pat. In fact, I've though about you a lot today, and of how brave you've been through your ordeal, and that really, compared to you, my intervention is just a walk in the park, and that alone is helping me stay quite calm.

#263 Nathalie, I'm still trying to figure out whether I'll spend the rest of the evening reading or painting and drawing. They're both very relaxing activities, so I can't really go wrong either way.

#264 Linda, it hasn't taken place yet, but I'll let you know how it went as soon as I can.

#265 Thank you for your positive take on everything Claudia. That's exactly what I've set my mind to today. No sense in freaking out over such a small intervention, especially considering I'm the one who requested it in the first place!

#266 Thanks for the cheerful gif Chelle! Very cute.

#267 Thank you Roni.

#269 Mark, I'm sure everything will be fine too. I'm also very relieved that I finally started getting enthused about Sea of Poppies... I would have been sad to disappoint the legions of LT members who loved it so much, including you of course!




I know I need to start a new thread, and I've started looking for images for it, but I want to spend my evening doing other things, so will take care of it when I'm able to after the surgery.

Thank you all again for all the encouragement. You are all awesome and very kind.

#271 Thanks for the input Liz, and I know I can always count on you not to deliver unwanted spoilers. So far, I'm not being critical about it, just enjoying the way the story is unfolding, even though I of course have a pretty good idea of the general outline. Still, it's fun discovering the details that are all new to me.

Just chiming in with my very best wishes for an easy surgery and quick recovery...and patience from Dad.

Much, much love to you, Sweet One.

I'm going to be reading The Woman in White this month, so I'm glad you bought it, too. :-)

Sending you love, my dear friend.
xoxo

I'm thinking of you, Ilana. I hope you can get a good night's sleep tonight. Just think, by this time tomorrow you'll be on the mend and have an excuse to take it easy for a few days and read, read, and read some more!

Hi Ilana, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Ilana -- I have faith that all will go well tomorrow. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

Good luck today!

I understand about the dumb but lovable dog. We've got one of those. She's a love and is the cutest thing you've ever seen but her nickname, Daar, was given to her for a reason - Dumb As A Rock.

Thinking of you!

Dracula and The Woman in White are two of my favourite books. I hope I will be able to make room for The Moonstone this year.

Ooooo The Woman in White Perfect choice!

I'm thinking of you today.

Thing about you lots today Ilana - trust that everything is fine and that you recuperate peacefully and properly.

Hope you're already out of surgery and doing well! Looking forward to seeing you back on LT soon. :)

Hope all is well, Ilana. I really liked The Woman in White. Dracula, too, actually.

Just stopping by to say that I hope you're doing ok post-surgery. Take care of yourself (or get Coco to).

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your good wishes. I came out of surgery around noon. Everything went great. I've been home for a couple of hours and am ok, if a bit out of it. Am about to go lie down, but just wanted to give news. I'll try to come back later this evening. Off to read and probably sleep for now.

Or, better:

Great news!

More love headed your way...kind thoughts...hugs...

Cool, Ilana! Glad to hear it.

Glad to hear you came through it with flying colors, Ilana. Enjoy your beauty rest.

Yay! I'm so glad it went well. Hope you're getting some good rest.

Glad it went well!

Hi Ilana- See, I told you it would go fine! Get some rest, my friend and here's a gentle hug.

You did perfect! YAY!
*oh, sorry - I meant to whisper*
don't worry about us -
sleep, rest and be nice to yourself xoxo
glad everything went smoothly :)

Glad you are home and everything is going well.

Hi everyone! You all made me smile and feel so well looked after today! I'm just about to head back to bed, but here's a little update:

I started reading The Winter of Our Discontent in hospital, only because I could't carry my big & heavy hardcover copy of Sea of Poppies. Didn't get past the first couple of pages though as didn't have much time to read and was having a hard time concentrating too. After getting home, where my father was waiting for me, I headed to bed where I read a long time before going to sleep for a good long while. My dad was really happy that I had the movie version of Grapes of Wrath on hand as he's a big John Ford fan, so he watched that quietly in the living room while I was resting. I got up around 9 p.m. to eat a bowl of soup and watched Waking Ned Devine with him. I'd seen it at the cinema before and loved it, and my dad thought it was great too, as I knew he would. We managed to get along fine, though I made sure to count to ten whenever he said something that got on my nerves, and besides was too slow-witted to react as I normally would. The reading is going extra slowly too since I have to re-read every sentence twice for it to make sense.

Haven't started taking the oxycodone they prescribed to me yet, since the Tylenol and Advil they also prescribed seems to be keeping the pain down to a tolerable level, but I'm keeping the little blue pills close by if things start hurting more than I can bear. I'm not particularly anxious to get totally zonked out by the stuff unless really necessary.

My dad just left a short while ago after taking out Coco one last time. He offered to stay, but I told him he could go home, since I think I'll be able to manage, though if I find it too difficult to get outside (getting dressed is a bit of a challenge), then I'll call him for help as he said I should do.

So all in all, a pretty good day all things considered.

Sorry not to thank you each individually... I'm very tired right now, but I've read and really appreciated each and every one of your wonderfully kind messages (read them twice, obviously!)

I'm off to get a good night's sleep.

xoxo to you all. :-)

Great to hear Ilana, sounds like a successful procedure and time with your dad. Rest up :)

Glad it all went as well as possible! Do (says she who endured stubborn person refusing to take pain pills and thus woke up screaming in the middle of the night) take your pills before it gets to the unendurable stage. I agree that popping them if you feel a twinge isn't good, but if you aren't relaxed, you won't heal as rapidly. Sorry, I have strong views about this!

There are some books I simply can't read when I'm feeling subpar, whether migraine or something else. Either the subject matter, the complexity of the plot, the writing, etc. Have you read Catwings by Ursula LeGuin? Four lovely little illustrated books, perfect in style and substance for those days when you just struggle to exist.

Good to see everything went well. Take a good rest, cuddle up with Coco and the cat (always forget which is the cuddly one) and enjoy the new Steinbeck. Wishing you a painfree and relaxing long weekend!

Good to read that your day went so well and that you had an easy evening with your dad. I have to agree with Suzanne that Catwings is a pretty cute undemanding read. I hope tomorrow goes easy on you too.

So happy you are managing ok and getting along with your Dad.
It's a time for rest and healing... go with it. :)
Thinking of you and sending comforting energy.

Just to add my two pennorth to the comments from all your friends above. Very happy and relieved that your procedure and almost as importantly its aftermath passed off without a glitch. Since my weekend is already starting I'll wish you a good one in advance.

Hi Ilana. It was good to hear from you. I second Suzanne's advice not to let the pain get too bad before taking one of the pain pills. That's something they repeatedly told me too. Hope you had a good night's sleep (or are still having one).

Good morning, Dearie. Glad to know things went well last night. Hope that today will find you a bit stronger and steadier on your feet...and that you steadily gain strength over the weekend.

{{{Ilana}}}

I'll add a pennorth, Ilana, and at the same time enjoy using that word (thanks, Paul!) Great to hear that your dad came through for you and the day went all right. We loved Waking Ned Devine. Keep healing (go easy on yourself!) and have a relaxed day if you can.

I'm really glad it went well, Ilana, and that you and your dad were able to find some equilibrium while he took care of you and our adorable Coco. Keep resting up, Ilana. The energy and concentration will return. And I hope the post-surgery pain stays minimal.

Joe - hahaha I cannot claim any monopoly on northern english turn of phrases - make hay with em mate.

Ilana, it sounds like your recovery is off to a good start. I personally would hold off on the oxycodone as I'd rather have the pain than the nausea. It sounds like your dad is behaving himself. Hope all continues to go well for you. {{{gentle hugs}}}

You know I love em, Paul. Keep em coming!

Glad you are feeling better. Sounds as though you and yr. Dad did brilliantly.

Today is turning out to be more challenging than I would have imagined. Didn't sleep well at all last night as kept waking up every hour and ended up taking a couple of oxicodine tablets in the night (4 hours apart, as prescribed). I thought they'd be more more powerful than they actually are. I can't wait till nine o'clock comes around so I can take another. Don't want to be a big wuss, but I'm feeling more discomfort today now that the local anaesthetic is completely gone.

This afternoon it was quite nice out and so I extended our walk beyond the walk-around-the-block I thought I'd stick to, thinking the fresh air would do us both good, and I'm sure it did, but it also knocked me out, so I spent the rest of the day laying on the couch either snoozing or reading. The great thing is I've really concentrated on Sea of Poppies and am almost done with it. It's quite an engrossing read.

I'll have to look up Catwings at the library, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do that for a few days at least. Getting around is a challenge.

I'm not quite sure what I've just typed and am suddenly feeling really out of it, so I'd best stop here before I make a complete fool of myself.

Forgot to say thanks to you all. It's such a treat logging on and seeing your encouraging messages. I want to hug each and every one of you. A one-arm hug, that is.

Tomorrow the bandage comes off... I hope it's not too gruesome a sight or I may pass out. Best do it sitting or lying down I guess!

Ilana,
You're doing great :)

I had a similar surgery about 20 years ago.
I was taking a night class the same day and totally figured I'd be there! Ha! NOT!
It hurt :P
For several days I avoided close proximity to everyone and thing.
I was also very afraid to take the bandage off.
Turned out ok - and I was actually more comfortable once the bandage came off.
Sitting is a good idea - but I predict you will be fine.
Sending one-arm hugs and lots of sympathy.
This will no doubt turn out to be your worst day - and it's already behind you. Go slow.

Claudia, can I hire you as my life coach? Mind you, I don't know why I'd hire you, since I get so much encouragement from you completely free of charge, but maybe if I hired you we could work together more closely. Ha. AS IF you didn't have enough on your plate already.

Right. More painkillers for me and back to Sea of Poppies. Lurking on threads for a bit was fun, but there's so much to catch up on that it's exhausting! Sheesh.

Going slow. And tuning out for now. xx

Ilana

I agree with Suzanne, it is indeed wise to beat the pain. I'm sure many of your LT friends we were there to help you.

I'm with you spiritually and send hugs...very gentle ones.

Thank you Linda. You are my angel.

I do realize I need to start a new thread. But I want to start on a new page, so will wait till I'm back in the swing of things and ready to talk about books more, painkillers less. And painkillers rule right now.

Speaking of books, I finished Sea of Poppies tonight and came very near to ordering River of Smoke immediately after. So I guess you can say I thought it was sort of ok. ;-) Joking aside, it was great and was perfect to get lost into.

Take care of yourself & don't worry too much about reading, anaesthetic is never gentle on our fragile human bodies - maybe take in some audio books ???

Pain killers and Sea of Poppies. That's what I call a self-care plan. :-)

Ilana
Cee would be inundated with offers for the role of life coach if it was up for grabs in the group.
Enjoy a recuperative weekend, dear lady, with or without bandages!xx

Hope you are doing well today, Ilana. Once again I've been AWOL and missed everything about your surgery, real time wise and have only just caught up. Read Catwings last year. Cute and super short. I think I read somewhere that there is a sequel or sequels.

Hope you are feeling a little better today, Ilana.

There are 4 Catwings books, Charlotte.

Keep up the good healing work your are doing Ilana! It takes it out of you, but is a process you must go through. Hope the bandage removal goes without incident :)

#321 I must say I've been enjoying doing all this reading these past couple of days. Thanks for checking in on me Alex.

#322 Pain killers and Sea of Poppies. That's what I call a self-care plan.

It was wonderful while it lasted Ellen. It's very rare that I feel sad to have finished a book, but such it the case with SoP. It's good to know there's a sequel. Still, I'm hanging on to this one because I'm pretty sure I'll want to read it again.

#323 Thanks Paul, I guess we're all lucky to have Cee. We're also very lucky to have you too of course :-) xx

#324 Hi Charlotte, I think I'm doing better today, but still quite out of it. Can't complain though as I have Coco by my side all the time and Mimi shares the mommy-sitting duties with him too. Ezra can't be bothered, as usual.

#325 Thanks Roni, the recuperation is going quite well and I'm taking things very easy. I'll have to make sure I borrow all 4 Catwings books at the same time if I can, since they're such tiny books.

#326 The bandage removal went just fine Megan! I did it while still lying in bed, just to make sure there were no incidents if I suddenly felt weakened by a gruesome sight. The incision is much bigger than I thought it would be, but it's all taped up so there's not much to see (thank goodness). I've honestly felt very little pain compared to what I thought I'd be in for. It's getting very itchy now, which I know is a good sign. Now, I'm itching to write up all those reviews I'm behind on. Maybe it's time I start a new thread and try my hand at some speed reviews?