Ape's 2012 Challenge (6)

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Talk75 Books Challenge for 2012

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Ape's 2012 Challenge (6)

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1Ape
Edited: Mar 25, 2012, 8:11 pm

Thread #1
Thread #2 (Books 1-2)
Thread #3 (Books 3-4)
Thread #4 (Books 5-7)
Thread #5 (Books 8-9)

Books Read: 14
Pages Read: 4,228

January:
1. Level 4: Virus Hunters of the CDC by Joseph McCormick
2. The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
3. Day by Day Armageddon: Beyond Exile by J. L. Bourne
4. Steeldriver by Don Debrandt
5. The Snake Charmer by Jamie James

February:
6. The Passionate Observer by Jean-Henri Fabre
7. Vanished Smile by R. A. Scotti
8. Valfierno by Martin Caparros
9. Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith

March:
10. Apocalypse of the Dead by Joe McKinney
11. Flesh Eaters by Joe McKinney
12. The Ginseng Hunter by Jeff Talarigo
13. White Bread by Aaron Bobrow-Strain
14. World Made by Hand by James Howard Kunstler

2Ape
Edited: Mar 2, 2012, 12:02 pm

Okay, so I thought about trying something different with my reviews. During my last read I kept track of how many pages I read each day. I'm still going to keep track of it regardless of whether or not I post it, but I'll try to add it to the next review to see how it looks. If it's messy I'll just keep it out of future posts.

ETA: Nevermind, I already hate it. Too cluttered. I might tag it on in the post afterward in the future, however.

3Ape
Mar 2, 2012, 12:01 pm

10. Apocalypse of the Dead by Joe McKinney



Pages: 504
Rating: 3/5

Fiction: Zombie Apocalypse

The sequel to Dead City and the 2nd installment of the Dead World city see's Joe McKinney taking huge steps forward in his zombie apocalypse series. Where the first novel was a fairly simplistic zombie thriller focusing more on action than plot as it followed a police officer fighting his way out of the initial zombie outbreak, Apocalypse of the Dead follows a much larger cast of characters and takes on a much broader scope as the United States finally buckles under the strain of the zombie horde pushing out of the quarantine zone of the gulf coast.

Unfortunately for every step forward the book takes there is often times another one in the opposite direction. The cast is almost too big, not just a large collection of characters but a large collection of groups of characters. Despite this, McKinney still writes like he's composing another thriller, which means cliffhanger endings. It's frustrating when the chapter ends right in the middle of a compelling scene and the reader is left hanging for 40+ pages. Finally, towards the end, many ideas seem not to be full fleshed out, like someone took an axe to it a bit too hastily, and some characters are nearly abandoned until right before the finale.

The book, however, is still a very readable zombie apocalypse novel. I can definitely see some influence from The Stand by Stephen King, one character in particular is definitely reminiscent of his Mother Abigail character. While I wouldn't begin to compare this to King's apocalyptic tale, I did enjoy it. I liked Dead City for what it was, a pleasant and fast-paced zombie thriller, and I feel similarly about this one. If you like this kind of thing and are in need of a fix, this series is certainly worth looking into.

4Ape
Mar 2, 2012, 12:02 pm

Apocalypse of the Dead reading breakdown: 2/25-3/1

Day 1: 92 pages (1-93)
Day 2: 51 pages (93-144)
Day 3: 87 pages (144-231)
Day 4: 92 pages (231-323)
Day 5: 78 pages (323-401)
Day 6: 103 pages (401-504)

5jdthloue
Mar 2, 2012, 12:56 pm

I've never read anything by McKinny...and haven't read anything "Zombie" in a while...but, I'll throw him and his books on The List...jeez, I haven't read The Stand in decades....

The only time i keep track of "pages read" is, like now, when I have a couple of obese Net Galleys that i've allowed to sit for too long...that will disappear, eventually. Otherwise, I'm a reading Sloth (more than 2/3 toes)...lazy as can be...

;-}

6Ape
Mar 2, 2012, 1:13 pm

Hi Jude. I read The Stand a few years ago and loved it. It's one of the few books I can say I remember most of the names of every character in the book and remember pretty much the entire plot from beginning to end. I don't even think I can say that about the Harry Potter books, and I loved those when I read them throughout my schooling days.

I've been reading pretty slow this entire year, although the last two books have really gotten me back to the pace I used to read. Maybe tracking daily pages read will encourage me to read that 1 extra chapter at night or something too. *Shrug*

7scaifea
Mar 2, 2012, 2:16 pm

I'd feel pretty silly tracking my pages-per-day, since some days it's 1-2 pages! Ha! I like the idea in theory, though.

8LovingLit
Edited: Mar 2, 2012, 2:35 pm

Hi Stephen,
To continue the search engine discussion....there's more than one? (haha) I'll check out bing too I think as it does sound good to say that I'm going to go and bing something.
ETA checked it out, it is cool, and now I can use Bing as a verb, which I like.

9Ape
Edited: Mar 2, 2012, 2:35 pm

Amber: I have days I don't read much either. It'll be interesting to see if there is a time of week/month/whatever associated with it though.

Megan: Yep! Dogpile.com has a cute home page, but the results page is absolutely hideous.

10MickyFine
Mar 2, 2012, 2:42 pm

Ugh! Cover on your latest read=gross and creepy. Way to go, Stephen. ;)

I actually took a course in digital reference when I was in library school and one of the exercises was comparing different search engines. Bing was ok, but I still prefer Google partially because it's familiar and partially because the ranking in Bing was a little wacky.

11Ape
Mar 2, 2012, 4:15 pm

Hmm, that's interesting, actually. The few searches I have done have resulted pretty much in the way I expected. Videogame title results in Wikipedia first (of course) and then some Gamespot and 1up and Amazon and some game-specific wiki sites etc etc.

12MickyFine
Mar 2, 2012, 5:04 pm

If I remember, in the particular case, I was searching on a multi-part question about the northern lights and some of the ranking on bing just didn't work for me. Plus, when it comes to searching of academic lit, Google Scholar kicks some serious butt.

13DeltaQueen50
Edited: Mar 2, 2012, 7:07 pm

I just skimmed your review of Apocalypse of the Dead as I have it sitting on my TBR shelves. I am planning on a zombie read this month however, have you heard anything about Enclave?

14_Zoe_
Mar 2, 2012, 7:29 pm

I track my pages read for school books. I like to see that I'm making some progress even when it will take me more than a month to actually finish the book, and it helps me estimate how much longer I have left, too.

15katelisim
Mar 2, 2012, 8:15 pm

. . . dogpile still exists? Wow, I figured that would've gone out long ago. Ask Jeeves still around too? I guess I could look these things up. . . but I guess I don't really care. They were both bad.

16Ape
Mar 2, 2012, 8:44 pm

Micky: Bah, I just want to Bing horrible repulsive things, that's all.

Judy: I haven't, but it looks interesting! YA horror is always much more scarier than the adult variety too, I really do need to read more of the stuff.

Zoe: Required reading! *Blech* Don't remind me.

Katie: Yep. As for Ask Jeeves, if I'm not mistaken they are now Ask.com.

17cindysprocket
Mar 2, 2012, 9:23 pm

Were you out of the tornadoes path that went through S. Ohio? Hope so.

18Ape
Mar 3, 2012, 7:02 am

Yeah, I believe they were just a little bit south of me. Scary stuff though.

19Morphidae
Mar 3, 2012, 8:14 am

The Stand is one of my favorite books of all time. Have you tried Swan Song (nuclear war) by Robert McCammon or Lucifer's Hammer (comet) by Larry Niven? I call them my "big three" of end-of-the-world stories.

20Ape
Mar 3, 2012, 10:28 am

I haven't tried either of them. Lucifer's Hammer has been on my wishlist forever and I just never got arround to it. I definitely need to get around to them sometime soon! I'm working on reading more fun fiction this year so maybe I'll do just that sometime this year.

Oh! That reminds me. I'm abandoning the paired topic reading...challenge..thing. I'll still pair books up every once in awhile because I liked doing that but I'm not going to force myself to do it every month.

21MickyFine
Edited: Mar 3, 2012, 6:32 pm

Reading for fun is the most important thing. Hope you're enjoying your current read. I'm sure it's creepy. ;)

22Ape
Mar 3, 2012, 5:59 pm

Well, I always read for fun. Nonfiction books just always seem to interesting. I can hardly browse Amazon and look at fiction books, I find browsing nonfiction to be so much more exciting. It's just, once you get into them, they do go by at a bit of a slower pace.

23MickyFine
Mar 3, 2012, 6:36 pm

I tend to read more fiction, but I like non-fiction too. I'm trying to get in at least one non-fiction read in each month. Especially as I have quite a bit of it in my personal collection.

24Ape
Mar 3, 2012, 6:54 pm

I actually read more fiction, ultimately. Last year I read 50 fiction, 30 nonfiction. The nonfiction shelves are so much more fun though! :)

25MickyFine
Mar 3, 2012, 7:27 pm

I think they're both equally fun. But I'm pretty egalitarian when it comes to books. :)

26Ape
Mar 3, 2012, 7:33 pm

Yes, I horde them all equally. :)

27katelisim
Mar 3, 2012, 8:29 pm

I don't read a ton of non fiction. . . I read 1 by choice last year (been working on another going on 2 years now--but it's long and chapters are broken up really well for walking away to come back much later), a few for class (along with several essays). This year, more for class. I did buy a couple for fun ones in the last few months. We'll see when I get to them.

28Ape
Edited: Mar 3, 2012, 8:41 pm

Nonfiction can be wonderful if there are topics you enjoy reading about...but absolutely terrible if you don't exactly know what to get into. Also, I've noticed, whereas a bad fictional book and still go by quickly, a bad nonfiction can be devastating and pretty much impossible to trudge through if you aren't loving it.

It can definitely be discouraging when you get halfway through a nonfiction and realize you hate it, but don't want to quit it after already having read so much of it...

29katelisim
Mar 3, 2012, 9:12 pm

Really, I think I don't read it much because of school. All that forced non-fic. . . so when I get time to read for fun, I want some story that can't possibly happen in the real world. I don't mind it at all, and there have been a few things over the past couple years that I really did enjoy. So, I'm fairly certain that once I'm out of school, more chosen non-fic reading will occur.

30saraslibrary
Mar 3, 2012, 11:03 pm

Good grief! You people need to stop posting so much on Stephen's threads. :P

And I still say FOR SHAME, STEPHEN! Not letting Google spy on you? As if you didn't already know, the most searches/biggest money-maker is from porn. So why should you care if Google knows you like watching chicks eat cheese whiz out of each other's...ears?

#4: That's pretty good! I maybe average 60 pages/day on novels (considerably more on kids books and graphic novels/comics). That is, if I'm even in a mood to read.

#15: That's exactly what I was thinking! There were several little search engines back in the day. But yeah, I'm too lazy to even google them.

#27: I'm kind of the same--I used to hate nonfiction. I don't remember when I started reading more of it or what it was that turned me around (probably movie-related stuff), but you just have to find topics that interest you, like Perv Boy said.

As for The Stand, I started it years and years ago, but I never finished it. I think I watched the TV movie of it first, which isn't all that great, but you kind of get the idea of it--world ends, bad stuff happens, the end. Micky'd love it. ;)

31MickyFine
Mar 4, 2012, 1:19 am

Yeah, unsurprisingly, I've never read anything by Stephen King. Or watched anything based on one of his works. I'll give you time to recover from the shock. ;)

>29 katelisim: It was definitely that way for me too. Admittedly, I did my degree in English so I got in a fair amount of fiction reading in anyway, but when it came to breaks, I definitely tended to prefer fluffy light fiction for my reading of choice. Now I relish the chance to dig into something meatier every once in a while.

32Ape
Mar 4, 2012, 8:10 am

Katie: I don't blame you there, I didn't like reading in general during high school as a result of required reading. :(

Sara: Do you think it's still porn? I'd think that the social media sites are the new big money makers, although those are probably like porn in the sense that all the guys who WERE watching porn are now masturbating to the pictures you all have posted instead. :P

That page average is very high. It was just one of those page-turners. I did have an entire year where I averaged 70+ pages per day I think, but not this year...or last year... I read 58 yesterday and 20-something the day before.

Micky: A lot of the movies based on Stephen King novels are absolutely terrible. You're not missing much.

33Berly
Mar 4, 2012, 11:01 am

Hi Stephen! I love Stephen King and I think the only movie I saw of his, was The Shining and BTW, the original is sooooo much better than the remake. Jack Nicholson was amazing!

I far prefer Fiction to NF, but I am trying to broaden my horizons and at least explore some new areas in NF to see if I can find something I like. My FIL likes history a lot, but I usually find that kinda dry. I enjoy science-based things more.

Average pages? Never paid attention. Would probable guilt me into reading more, but do I really want to add reading to my To-Do pile? Hmmmm....

34Ape
Mar 4, 2012, 12:49 pm

Kim: Yeah, there are a few good movie adaptions of King novels. Pet Cemetery, Carrie, Cujo, The Shining, and Christine come to mind. But there were a lot of bad ones, in my opinion.

I really like history in movies, and historical fiction, but whenever I read historical nonfiction it's an utter snooze-fest. Names, dates, and politics, just kill me already and get it over with, SNORE!

If I read history in nonfiction I prefer science/disease related. THEN I'm interesting. Things about cholera in London or the eradication of smallpox, or various scientific breakthroughs throughout history are much more interesting than war and politics yawn.

35MickyFine
Mar 4, 2012, 1:54 pm

Oh man, I love history. I minored in history. I swear there are days that other than your fondness for Mo, I'm not sure what we have in common, Stephen. ;)

36Ape
Mar 4, 2012, 2:48 pm

It's true, Micky. The only thing we have in common that I can think of is our perverted mindset, although I think yours is a little different since you are still in denial of it. :P

Is there a particular period in time you find the most fascinating?

37LauraBrook
Mar 4, 2012, 8:41 pm

Hi Stephen! Didn't read everything, just wanted to start fresh from here on out. Hope you're doing well! *hugs*

38tloeffler
Mar 4, 2012, 8:47 pm

Just stopping by to say hello while the number of unread messages is still manageable!

Hello!

39saraslibrary
Mar 5, 2012, 12:43 am

#31: (picks herself up off of the floor) Naw, you're not missing much, move-wise. But Stephen King is an amazing storyteller.

#32: It'll always be porn. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a perv. Sex has always been a huge money-maker. I can't imagine that changing any time soon.

(shudders @ the thought of some foot fetishist masturbating over her goofy rainbow toe-socks) You just like freaking me out, don't you?

(agrees that most of Stephen King's movies are crap) Stand By Me is still my favorite though.

40Ape
Mar 5, 2012, 6:10 am

Hey Laura, nice to see you around. I'm alright, I suppose.

Hi Terri! And here I thought you had abandoned me... :P

Sara: Hmmm, well, sex is definitely a big money maker, but porn itself might be a bit lower on the list a lot of times. Not like I have the numbers, but I don't think porn DVDs make as much money as regular DVDs, and that might be true for magazines too (although even the SPORTS magazines have a month of nothing but nearly-nude women. *Shrug*)

Not only do you have to worry about foot fetishist, but judging by the bright colors you might be dealing with pedophilic foot fetishists masturbating to your profile picture. Oh, don't worry, I'm not trying to creep you out. If I was I'd say that I was the one doing it. Nope, I'm sure they are perfectly normal...looking pedophilic foot fetishist. ;)

41scaifea
Mar 5, 2012, 7:48 am

Gah, I've fallen behind! So I've shamefacedly skimmed, and now I'm here!

I will add that I agree about nonfiction being fun, even though most of the reads I love are fiction, I do love a good nonfiction every once in awhile, and would read more if I wasn't such a slave to my lists...

42Morphidae
Mar 5, 2012, 9:49 am

I put a nonfiction list on my list. Heh.

43scaifea
Mar 5, 2012, 1:00 pm

*snork!*

I've got some non-fiction-heavy lists in my ginormous pile of lists, but I've just not made it to any of those yet. Sigh.

44MickyFine
Mar 5, 2012, 5:10 pm

>36 Ape: My historical interests are pretty wide ranging but I tend to go for history from the 17th to the mid-20th century. Very eclectic interests I have. ;)

45Ape
Mar 5, 2012, 5:20 pm

Amber, I must admit I am appalled by your atrocious reading habits. It's despicable. I TRUE reader should have more sophisticated tastes. Oh wait, no, I don't care about the nonfiction, but to think you wouldn't read MY thread!? For shame! :P

Moprhy: Lists of lists? I'm impressed!

Micky: Haha, yeah, I guess that doesn't narrow it down much.

46MickyFine
Mar 5, 2012, 5:30 pm

Ok, well if you want specific topics that interest me, British history (especially the Tudors, the Regency, Georgian, Victorian, and Edwardian periods), historical biographies, Irish history, Russian revolutionary history, and history that involves pirates are just some of the things that might strike my fancy.

47Ape
Mar 5, 2012, 5:35 pm

Well, I suppose that's slightly narrower. :)

I took tons of elective history classes in high school, mostly because it was a tiny school and there weren't any other classes to take. I even took ancient history twice.

48Berly
Mar 5, 2012, 9:56 pm

Twice? Was it better the first or second time or would you have rather lived through it?

I agree with you and prefer my history with a bit of science behind it, although pirates does sound kinda fun Micky!

49Ape
Mar 6, 2012, 7:09 am

Kim: It a small-town school, with few teachers, and idiotic overseers who required us to fill up our schedules even if we didn't need it. I had all my credits but 1, since 4 years of English was required to graduate. Even so, I filled up all the empty slots with classes voluntarily, taking classes on civil war, pyschology, accounting, personal financing, etc. I had just two study halls. The tyrant lady wasn't happy however and forced me to fill one of them with a class I had already passed. -.-

50scaifea
Mar 6, 2012, 7:17 am

But...but...I skimmed for the important stuff, like zombies and naked women and the pervy stuff - that's okay, right?
*hangs head in shame*

Wait - you took ancient history *twice* and you still haven't read Herodotus?! What the what?!

51MickyFine
Mar 6, 2012, 2:45 pm

I took a lot of British history in university, one course on Irish history, one on the history of Christianity, one on pre-confederation Canadian history, and a seminar on 1960s American history. I also took a course on the history of science, medicine, and technology, but it wasn't one of my favourites. I took it to fulfill a requirement (it was one of those weird courses that fulfilled a science credit for arts majors and an arts credit for science majors), there were close to 300 people in the class, and while some of the subject matter was interesting, I didn't find it nearly as fascinating as my Tudor history course.

I also took a couple Classics courses in undergrad, but those were much more literature-focused, rather than history. :)

52Ape
Mar 6, 2012, 4:17 pm

Amber: I know I know, I was being sarcastic! *Hugs* It was high school. In America. We watched Gladiator and I got an A. Seriously. *Shrug*

Micky: Ah, see, yes, history of science/medicine/technology sounds like my kind of history. Nope, we have nothing in common, it's true. :P

53MickyFine
Mar 6, 2012, 5:03 pm

I did write a paper on the eugenics movement for that class, which was about the only thing I enjoyed about it. Not that I'm in favour of eugenics, simply that I found it an interesting topic to explore.

54saraslibrary
Mar 7, 2012, 12:40 am

lol @ We watched Gladiator and I got an A. -- I want to take that class!

55Ape
Mar 7, 2012, 6:10 am

Micky: It is interesting, and I can't decide whether I'm proud or horrified by the whole thing. While it's probably not good that we've eliminated natural selection, that stuff is just scary.

Sara: Yeah, maybe the real reason I took it twice was because it was so easy...

56scaifea
Mar 7, 2012, 7:32 am

All I can ever think of when I think of Gladiator is the crying/snot scene. *shudders* I have snot issues.

57MickyFine
Mar 7, 2012, 2:28 pm

I've never actually watched Gladiator. But we watched The Princess Bride in my high school chemistry class, so that was fun. :)

58LovingLit
Mar 7, 2012, 3:20 pm

>49 Ape: The tyrant lady wasn't happy however and forced me to fill one of them with a class I had already passed. -.-
Rules for the sake of rules huh, good to see it starts early and continues right through the institutionalised lives we live.

Watching a film to get at A! Hm, now that doesnt sound too difficult. Did you have to write a review? Or a comparison with a novel, or some sort of commentary at all? Or was it more like: watch this DVD, then get an A?

We watched "Gallipoli" and "JFK" and "Lord of the Flies" at high school. Oh, and "Hamlet" too....

59norabelle414
Mar 7, 2012, 3:22 pm

I got to watch Like Water for Chocolate in my AP English class in high school! What a great day that was.

60Ape
Mar 7, 2012, 4:32 pm

Amber: Ha, yeah, the whole movie is quite bad, if you ask me. I despise that jitter cam stuff and those quick and rapidly changing close-ups that incompetent action movie directors use so much. I don't like action much to begin with but I hate it even more when they do crap like that...

Micky: Unsurprisingly, I've never seen it.

Megan: Nope, we did other things, of course, but for we watched several movies throughout the year, and some TV show where they used cutting-edge computer software (...from 2004...) to re-create famous battle scenes. No work involved. What can I say, it was American schooling, we're a bunch of idiots for a reason, everyone gets a high school diploma unless you REALLY REALLY don't want one.

Nora: Ah, really? That's it? I don't know how many movies I watched in high school. Dozens. That's a small town education for you.

61MickyFine
Mar 7, 2012, 5:11 pm

Unsurprisingly, I've never seen it Sigh. So uncultured you are. I may have to send some ninjas who will tie you to a chair and watch a bunch of films of my choosing. And there will be no nudity at all. :P

62norabelle414
Mar 7, 2012, 6:08 pm

>60 Ape: No, I watched a billion movies in high school. Like Water For Chocolate is just the most memorable because it has lots and lots of nudity in it.

63Berly
Mar 7, 2012, 8:00 pm

I never saw Gladiator. The snot scene is not a strong endorsement...did I miss a good movie or not? And Like Water for Chocolate...missed that one too, although the book was good. Lots and lots of nudity, huh?! LOL

64dk_phoenix
Mar 8, 2012, 8:54 am

Ugh, Gladiator. I was SO BORED during that movie I fell asleep, woke up, was STILL BORED, and somehow managed to make it through. Probably because I was eating something delicious or cross-stitching a dragon at the same time. I'm not sure, I've tried to block the memory out... I don't even remember a snot scene, which is for the best because the thought of it makes me want to vomit...

65Ape
Edited: Mar 8, 2012, 9:22 am

Micky: Can they be naked lady-ninjas, at least?

Nora: Oh, that reminds me! When we watched The Gladiator, my teacher rented it from Movie Gallery, he just walked in and asked for 'The Gladiator.' The case was plain, and he apparently wasn't paying much attention when he pushed Play on the menu screen. We saw a great army of hunky men and this woman, some sort of queen or army commander, raised on a giant platform. She gestures provocatively to the crowd and then starts removing all her clothes. Turns out the store gave him a pornographic movie called Gladiator Eroticus or something like that.

Kim: I'd give it a miss, but I say that for most movies so don't take my word for it...

Faith: It's when he's crying, the snot scene...

66norabelle414
Mar 8, 2012, 9:20 am

67Ape
Mar 8, 2012, 9:26 am

That was our reaction too. :P That was the first year I took it, the 2nd time my friend and I were both repeating the class so we both burst out laughing when he informed everyone we were going to be watching The Gladiator, much to everyone else's confusion. He didn't find it very funny...

68Berly
Mar 8, 2012, 11:35 am

#65, 67 But I do!! That's a great story. LOL

69MickyFine
Mar 8, 2012, 3:02 pm

>65 Ape: No self-respecting ninja would attack you naked. Silly Stephen.

70Ape
Edited: Mar 8, 2012, 3:03 pm

Kim: Haha, yeah. He, to his own misfortune, didn't assign seats to us so I sat in front of the one of the few people I was capable of being loud and obnoxious around, and his computer was just a few feet away from us. The running joke throughout the year was "So when are we going to watch the other Gladiator."

Micky: ...but Richard 'threatens' me with them all the time. Although those ones are naked male models in addition to zombie ninjas... =(

71scaifea
Mar 8, 2012, 4:10 pm

>65 Ape:: *SNORK!!*

>69 MickyFine:: Yes, but if the ninja was at all self-respecting, you wouldn't know whether she was naked anyway...

72MickyFine
Mar 8, 2012, 5:09 pm

>71 scaifea: True, very true.

>70 Ape: I think those are Richard's special ninjas. My ninjas remain fully clothed. :P

73Ape
Mar 8, 2012, 7:07 pm

Amber: You are right, of course. But you see, my home seems to emit waves of energy that apparently completely forbids naked ladies to be near it, therefore my theory was that if they were naked I would have to worry less about them...

Micky: They at least wear tight spandex or something, right?

74norabelle414
Mar 8, 2012, 7:09 pm

>73 Ape: The only trick to getting naked ladies near your house is that you have to go out and find them and talk to them and be nice to them, and then they will come to your house and get naked.

75Ape
Edited: Mar 8, 2012, 7:14 pm

Which is exactly why I don't do those things. Eeek! I better check to make sure the barrier is still intact now, you have me nervous...

76saraslibrary
Edited: Mar 9, 2012, 1:38 am

lol @ #56: I have snot issues. -- But it's the sign of a true actor--being able to blow your boogers all over your face--and having millions of people pay to see you do it! That's Oscar-worthy in my book. ;)

#57: The Princess Bride and chemistry? I don't see the conection, but cool! :) It's a fun movie.

#60: I don't like action much to begin with -- Lalala. Pretending I didn't hear that.

#61: That is just cruel and barbaric, Micky! (Psst. You can use my dungeon if you want to. ;)

#62: Hmm, weird. I saw bits of Like Water for Chocolate, but unfortunately not the naked bits. :( Did they dip each other in chocolate? Because I would totally rewatch it if they did.

#63: I guess it depends on if you like action movies or not (like Stephen said). I happen to love Gladiator because of Russel Crowe (and several of the other actors) and the action scenes. It's incredible. Just my two cents.

#64: Snot and vomit. Niiice. ;)

#65: How could you forget mentioning your teacher was a total perv? :D That's hilarious!

#70: Hmph. He never threatens me with naked male ninjas. (grumble, grumble)

#74: Or he could just pay them.

And I don't know how I missed your response in mss #40, Stephen, but DUDE! SICK! Not about the porn (I agree: they probably don't make as much money as mainstream media, but I remember reading in a business or computer mag where porn was one of the biggest money-makers on the Internet), but about the pedophilic foot fetishist remark. If anything, I think my socks look more like a gay pride banner than anything else. So stop masturbating on my lesbian feet!

As far as high school movies go, we watched quite a few, but probably the one that stuck in my head the most was sneaking out of our self-taught music class to watch Kids (one of those "educational" NC17 movies) in an empty classroom. Another one was a b&w movie on Leopold and Loeb (sp??). It's kind of scary the things kids can get away with during school.

77katelisim
Mar 9, 2012, 2:23 am

In high school we watched: The Outsiders, O Brother Where Art Thou, Hamlet (w/ Harry Potter's Lockhart as Hamlet), To Kill a Mockingbird, Finding Nemo (like 1000 times), Bill Nye the Science Guy, Catherine the Great special from History Channel (2 days after I watched it on tv, oy), Ferris Bueller's Day Off (also like 1000 times), a few episodes of Twilight Zone. . . and that's all I can think of right now, but I know I'm missing a bunch.

78Ape
Mar 9, 2012, 6:09 am

Sara: To blow snot and get paid for it is pretty impressive, I have to admit. I didn't like the action scenes in Gladiator because they were shot so poorly (in my opinion.) I like action where I can actually see what's happening, and it was one of those movies that switched camera shots so rapidly you mostly just saw a blur and then a guy laying down covered in blood. Meh...

Okay, so gay pedophilic foot fetishists are masturbating to your picture, if that makes you feel better. Just don't ruin it for them and post pictures of your face, it's a lot harder to imagine those socks are on a boy if you do that. Then who will they masturbate to? I don't know, but it'd totally be your responsibility. :P

Katie: I couldn't even begin to list every movie we watched. There were movie adaptations to just about every book we ever read, most topics discussed in history class had a documentary to go along with it, holidays like Christmas and Halloween were met with a holiday-related movies that had nothing to do with the class, and then there were the utterly senseless movies, like when we watched Peewee Herman's Big Adventure. Granted we watched it in french, in french class, but we weren't forced to watch it and I jumped into a 8+ player game of Uno instead.

79scaifea
Mar 9, 2012, 7:32 am

Going to school in Indiana, we watched Hoosiers nearly every day before some sort of holiday or break. Sheesh.

80katelisim
Mar 9, 2012, 7:50 am

Oh, the movies in German! Completely spaced on those: Lord of the Rings, Blues Brothers, Stille Nacht. Most of ours had -something- to do with the class or what we were learning. Ferris and Nemo being exceptions for when we were ahead of schedule, played before break--because no one gave us our snow days >:( Anywho, our Astronomy and Physics teacher played a lot of Homestar Runner, especially the Strongbad emails (

81norabelle414
Mar 9, 2012, 8:16 am

The movie Remember the Titans is based on my high school, so we watched it at least once a month, from the day it came out (the whole school system went to the movie theater) to the day after I graduated (due to a technicality, I had to go to school the day after graduation, but obviously they couldn't actually make us do anything so we watched movies)

82Ape
Mar 9, 2012, 9:35 am

Amber: Never seen that one. I wonder if some school pre-approve certain movies or something, because there were certain ones that we seemed to watch over and over again as well. Remember the Titan being the most notable.

Katie: Haha, you watched Lord of the Rings? In school? Did it take up an entire semester just for that? :P

Nora: Yeah, as discussed before, I had to watch that one quite a bit as well. I can't watch it anymore, ugh.

Interestingly enough, however, I know I've watched The Goonies way more than any other movie ever and I still have to switch to it every time I see it on TV. It's just necessary.

83norabelle414
Mar 9, 2012, 9:58 am

>82 Ape: I'm the same way with The Wizard of Oz. Must watch. in entirety. absolutely any time it's on.

84cindysprocket
Mar 9, 2012, 10:37 am

Well, I remember watching only one movie. Freshman english,
Great Expectations. That was in 1962-63. It was so boring. I think it cured me for reading Charles Dickens. Yet, I love watching The Christmas Carol.

85Ape
Mar 9, 2012, 12:11 pm

Nora: Yeah, that one too. Shhh, remember, don't tell anyone. ;)

Cindy: Oh yes, we watched several iterations of The Christmas Carol. I can't imagine wanting to read it, considering how many times I've had to watch it.

86scaifea
Mar 9, 2012, 3:52 pm

I think only hoosiers watch Hoosiers. I can't think of a reason why anyone else ever would...

I used to show clips of LotR in my classics courses. Surprisingly (or not), certain things fit really well. The fire beacons bit, for example, is straight out of Aeschylus' Agamemnon. Oh, and I used to show the clip of Marley & Marley from the Muppets' Christmas Carol when I taught Pliny's Letters (he has a ghost story where the ghost actually shakes chains and moans. Ha!). And when teaching Plautus, I showed the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, for reasons that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say that there are many parallels. But this has for years been my all-time favorite thing to show my classics students, and I did so at every chance I could get:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs3SfNANtig

(Sorry, Stephen, for posting something in your thread that you can't see...)

87Ape
Mar 9, 2012, 4:49 pm

*Weeps*

88richardderus
Edited: Mar 10, 2012, 11:29 pm

There is no catching up after ~10 days internetless. I'm just pleased I found you again.

89LovingLit
Mar 10, 2012, 11:31 pm

Wow, the films I listed upthread (post #58) were the only films I watched in the whole 5 years of high school! Looks like we got ripped off. It was a major treat to watch a video for us.

90saraslibrary
Mar 10, 2012, 11:54 pm

lol @ 77. Finding Nemo in high school? Now I love cartoons and all, but how did your teacher get away with that without the students throwing textbooks at his/her head? Still, you guys watched a ton of movies. Most of ours were documentaries/nonfiction stuff (especially for Astronomy class) and a few movies based on books (like The Grapes of Wrath, Flowers for Algernon {though it went by a different title; can't remember what though}, etc).

#78: I'd have to rewatch Gladiator to remember how the action scenes were played out, but I can totally understand your point. Sometimes jostling the camera around makes it worse for some people.

And NO, having gay pedophilic foot fetishists masturbating to my picture doesn't make me feel any better, thanks! :P If anything, they should be stalking man-boys like that Beiber kid who (let's face it) is just never gonna hit puberty. Leave my footsies alone, people! And by people, I mean you, Stephen, Wanker Extraordinaire.

lol @ Peewee Herman's Big Adventure in French??! Oh good lord, how could they let that one out of the country? As if foreigners need to know how much worse our movies can get.

#79: Ew. My sympathies. I had a basketball coach who tried to get us to watch that one once, but we voted him down.

#80: You're lucky to watch movies in German class. We just watched boring stuff on the landscape, the people, etc--and all of it was outdated. For the longest time, I seriously thought Germans still wore bell bottoms.

#81: Hmm, I don't think I ever saw that one. And to make you guys watch it every month? That's a little overboard, imho.

#82: Dude, I love The Goonies! So you're forgiven for calling my feet gay jailbait. For now.

#83: I actually liked Return to Oz better than that one. Maybe it's a generational thing, I don't know. I just remember it kind of freaked me out as a kid (in a good way).

#84: I only remember the Great Expectations version with Ethan Hawke in it. And I've somehow blocked watching the remakes of A Christmas Carol, so maybe I should rewatch one around Christmas this year.

#86: What's the clip of?

#87: If it makes you feel any better, I can't view it either. *cries along with Stephen, but doesn't weep. Only girls weep. ;P

#88: I don't quite get the fail part of it. (scratches head)

#89: Same here. We didn't get to watch enough movies either. Too bad they didn't have any film courses in h.s., because I would've loved to have taken some.

91Ape
Edited: Mar 11, 2012, 6:01 pm

Wasn't around yesterday. Feeling bleh as usual.

Richard: Happy to see you back! I'm not sure if her large breasts are disrupting the space-time continuum or if the background is just recoiling from her hideous hair and makeup.

*Waves at Megan*

Sara (on Peewee Herman): Sorry, I just wanted to say "Sara on Peewee Herman." No comment on the American film industry. I liked it better when they had human actors instead of robots and those ugly other-worldly being...things....

I'm not sure why it's a FAIL, more like an AWESOME, but if you look at the background you can see that it's actually forming around her breast, as if it were 'the space-time continuum being disrupted.' The sad part is the breasts weren't distracting enough for me to not notice that. :(

92Berly
Mar 11, 2012, 6:02 pm

I'm sorry that you weren't around yesterday. Luckily, Sarah answered everyone for you! : )

All caught up again. Got my usual laughs here. Thanks! Hope the blahs go away soon. Smooches from afar.

93Ape
Edited: Mar 11, 2012, 6:18 pm

Thanks Kim! :)

So apparently I can't add star ratings anymore. Or edit the From Where field. Y'know, because instead of giving me simple box to check or something like that they have that in-page integration crap that apparently isn't working on my browser. Y'know, like how before I could combine duplicate copies of the same book on an author's page but haven't been able to do so in months. *Sigh*

94ChelleBearss
Mar 11, 2012, 6:30 pm

Hi Stephen!

95Ape
Mar 11, 2012, 6:32 pm

Hello! :)

96saraslibrary
Edited: Mar 12, 2012, 1:35 am

#91: Sorry to hear about your bleh day. I've been having a couple bleh weeks, so maybe you caught something from me--menstrual cramps, diarrhea, vomiting, fever of 101, resting heart rate of 128, massive outbreak of eczema...? Yeah, I expect to add leprosy to the list pretty soon with the way things are going. Does that make you feel better? (pats Stephen on head)

lol @ Sara on Peewee Herman. I actually like the sound of that, and I don't know why.

Oh, now I can kind of see the wall bending around her right boob. And you weren't mesmerized by them? I keep trying to figure out if they're real or not. It's kind of hard when you can't see nipples; then you can tell if it's bra stuffing or under-the-skin stuffing.

Ha @ #92. I think I just about responded to everyone, didn't I? Stephen, you need to pay me for being your secretary or whatever, or I'll strike! ;)

#93: Crap, that sucks! Did LT recently change things, or do you think it's maybe just one of those days where everything goes wrong?

97Ape
Mar 11, 2012, 6:45 pm

Nope, while I freely admit that breasts have power is mesmerization, I'm much more mesmerized by geeky bookish types. Plus she looks, like, 14. Or is trying to look like someone who is 14. Now THIS is hot. *Jaw drop*

As for LT, it's possible. The set-up is the same but it's not working the way it did, much like the 'combine works' button on author pages. It could be as simple as a little popping-in graphic for the star that won't load on my dial-up, or something else. I don't know, I don't have any knowledge as to how internet coding works, I just know it's not working.

Forgot to mention, when I click the 'from where' button on the work edit page, it just zips me up to the top of the page and nothing happens. Y'know, a check list would work fine, but the in-page pop-up is not very dial-up friendly. Not that I expect websites to cater to dial-up user, but I am one and Librarything continues to become more inaccessible.

98Berly
Edited: Mar 11, 2012, 6:47 pm

I don't think it was bra stuffing. I think it was photo shopped and when she expanded her boobs outward, she warped the blinds behind her. I admit to sometimes wishing I had bigger ones, but my husband likes them as is and besides big ones bounce too much when you do TKD!! Besides, then there is the whole gravity/age thing and mine seem to be staying up pretty well so I'd best not mess with a good thing. ; )

Stephen--I like your definition of HOT in #97.

99Whisper1
Mar 11, 2012, 6:47 pm

Sara and Stephen

So sorry you both are having blah kind of days. I hope the sun comes out soon.

100Ape
Mar 11, 2012, 6:53 pm

Kim: Ah, you are right about the photoshopping, the boob even seems oddly-shaped now that I actually look at it.

As far as size goes, can't say I've ever found someone attractive based on breast size alone. Thick and curvy, thin and slender, whichever. Besides, it's pretty much purely asthetic anyway. Y'know, unlike penis size, which you do NOT want to get me talking about... :_(

Thanks for the good wishes, Linda. :)

101Whisper1
Mar 11, 2012, 6:56 pm

so sorry to be out of touch! I think of you often and send lots of encouragement your way.

102saraslibrary
Mar 12, 2012, 1:34 am

#97: I have no clue how old she is. She could be 14 or 24, who knows. Boobs and makeup will do that to you sometimes.

Hmm, I don't know what to tell you about your LT bug. Every once in awhile, LT'll act up for me, too, but usually all I have to do is reboot my computer (if I don't mind waiting an hour or so to get back online). I do know what you mean about the page zipping to the top when you click the From Where link. It's done that to me a couple times, but not lately. I hope whatever it is (whether it's LT or your computer) gets fixed. I can totally understand your frustration if LT is no longer accessible. I'd probably go bonkers, considering it's the one site I visit on a regular basis (more than I check my email).

Just remembered: there's a Bug thread somewhere in the talk topics. You might want to hunt it down and see if you can find anything out.

#98: Doh! I forgot about photoshop. You're probably right.

Actually, fake boobs don't jiggle as much as natural boobs. The silicone whatnot keeps them pretty firm and gravity-defying. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't want to have my breasts done (not blown up to C's or anything; on me, it'd look cartoonish), but at least make them sag-proof. I'm so not looking forward to that as I get older.

#99: Thanks! :) Actually, I'm not a big fan of the sun (skin cancer runs rampant in my family), but I know what you mean (figure of speak).

103Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 7:30 am

That's fine, Linda. I'm out of touch with many 75ers regulars, but what can a person do? I hope you are doing well, I haven't visited your thread in ages. :(

Sara: My computer was off all night, still not working this morning. It could be a browser issue, but I'm not switching browsers so I guess I'll just be using LT to post on the forums. *Shrug*

And as for breast implants, NOOOO! Those haven't been cool since the 80's/early 90's. Have you seen what kinds of women populate the major porn sites? Two kinds, HUGE asses and thin little 12-year-old-looking 18-year-olds. Breasts are so 20 years ago. :P

104norabelle414
Mar 12, 2012, 8:19 am

Have you cleared your cookies?

Also, what browser are you using?

105Ape
Edited: Mar 12, 2012, 11:16 am

An ancient version of Internet Explorer, because it's impossible to update with a dial-up connection.

I'm going to try loading the site with Firefox. The whole browser itself is very dial-up-unfriendly, however...

I hate clearing cookies/internet history because it means I have re-load everything again. It's nice jumping onto LT and having everything pre-loaded, otherwise I can't do much of anything online. I posted a thread in the bug report group though.

106Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 11:17 am

Okay, they work fine with Firefox, so it's a browser-specific issue.

107Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 11:23 am

11. Flesh Eaters by Joe McKinney



Pages: 389
Rating: 3/5

Fiction: Horror, Zombies

Flesh Eaters is the 3rd book in McKinney's Dead World series and, most unfortunately, is a prequel. It starts prior to the hurricane that unleashes the zombie plague with Eleanor Norton, a sergeant in the San Antonia police department with a husband and a 12-year-old. They must first survive a devastating attack of hurricanes and emerge to be shocked by the OMGzombies they find all over the place, naturally.

The events of the novel are predictable, mostly because you already know what happened. It's also frustrating to be reading the 3rd book in a series and have to watch the characters struggle with the concept of zombies, again. Worse, they don't even make an appearance until 70+ pages and the word "zombie" itself doesn't appear until much, much later. I'm perfectly okay with that in a zombie novel but c'mon, this is the 3rd installment! Ugh.

I will say that the author's writing ability has improved substantially since the first book. He has really honed his craft and is without question a better author than two books ago. Book 3 is light-years beyond book 1 where the narrative is concerned, and it was really a pleasure to see that unravel with each book. I just wish he could learn to stop shooting himself in the foot, as he seems to insist on doing every time he writes a book.

Ultimately though, it function as a decent zombie adventure. In fact, if you read it as a standalone novel it would probably be fantastic. It would also work well if you read it as the FIRST book in the series. I can't give it less than a 3-star rating for those reasons alone. It's good as a novel, but bad as a 3rd installment.

108Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 11:29 am

Flesh Eaters breakdown:

March 2 - March 11 (ten days)

Day 1: 24 pages (1-25)
Day 2: 58 pages (25-83)
Day 3: 64 pages (83-147)
Day 4: 15 pages (147-162)
Day 5: 19 pages (162-181)
Day 6: 36 pages (181-217)
Day 7: 67 pages (217-284)
Day 8: 26 pages (284-310)
Day 9: 48 pages (310-358)
Day 10: 32 pages (358-389)

109norabelle414
Mar 12, 2012, 11:34 am

I'd recommend Google Chrome for dial-up, because it's more streamlined. I found a couple blogs where people researched which browser was best for dial up and they both said that Chrome is best for browsing, but FireFox is best for downloading. If you're using Firefox, you should install the "Adblock Plus" add-on. It'll block the annoying bandwidth-sucking advertizements on a lot of sites.

You must clear your cookies every once in awhile. I know it's annoying to re-log-in to things, but after awhile the cookies get crumbly and messy and then you need to bake some new ones ;-)

I'm using EI7 at work, but stars and "from where?" fine for me, so it's almost certainly a cookie problem.

110Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 11:37 am

But I have to download Chrome. It takes forever on dial-up. :(

I just need a button that says "Kill picture quality so everything loads faster." That's always nice.

111norabelle414
Mar 12, 2012, 11:39 am

Firefox is fine, then. Anything is better than IE. Just get that Adblock Plus.

112Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 2:00 pm

Yes ma'am. :)

113LovingLit
Mar 12, 2012, 4:13 pm

I'm useless at computers.

I have looked at that girls large breasts so much after reading all the comments I feel like Ive had an intimate relationship with her. I dont think they are photoshopped. And I'm not sure about the background.....I didn't see it first time either, even with the larger rectangle around it! duh

114Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 5:11 pm

Megan: Do you think the cleavage matches the robustness of the boob behind the shirt? This isn't exactly my area of expertise... o.O

115mckait
Mar 12, 2012, 6:06 pm

not reading, no catching up possible today, just saying hello!

116Ape
Mar 12, 2012, 6:26 pm

Hi Kath! Don't worry, we were just talking about women's breasts, that's all. :D

117DeltaQueen50
Mar 12, 2012, 6:49 pm

Hi Stephen, I read your reviews of the Joe McKinney series with interest as I have the books sitting on my shelves. I wasn't thrilled with the first one, but they are quick reads with lots of action, so I will get to them eventually. I really did like Enclave by Ann Aguirre, and of course, it is the first in a planned trilogy.

118saraslibrary
Mar 12, 2012, 7:58 pm

#103: Unfortunately, I'm part of the working poor, so there's no way I could save up for new boobs, even if I tried. :(

#107: Good to know the writing gets better as the books go on. I only have book #2, so it may be awhile before I start that series. I have this weird thing about reading books in order.

119Berly
Mar 12, 2012, 8:58 pm

#113. Look at the unnatural way the camera strap follows the curve on the right. It was originally hanging straight and then got ballooned out with the photoshop enhancement. Not to mention her arm now looks weird. OK. I'm done obsessing. The poor girl's picture was way back in post #88! LOL

120Ape
Mar 13, 2012, 7:18 am

Judy: If you liked the first one enough to finish it you'll like the rest of the series, they are much better overall even if I gave them all the same 3-star rating. The biggest disappointment was probably that each book has a new cast of characters. I didn't know that going in, so maybe now that'll be less of a let-down for you. :)

Sara: Yeah, me too with reading series in order. I also really hate to start a series before the author is finished writing it, or if my library doesn't have the complete series. I just can't leave a story left unfinished. Although, since the Dead World series is so episodic with no continuing storyline, that's not an issue this time.

Kim: I'm personally okay with it, if you want to obsess over boobs I figure this is the thread to do it in. :D

121Berly
Mar 13, 2012, 11:48 am

Nonsense. I am exploring the capabilities of image alteration.

Did you know there are seven types of photo alteration techniques?

addition
cloning or extending elements already within image
subtraction
removing image elements
combination
incorporating elements from several images into one
enlargement
scaling an image while minimizing edge blurring
correction
fixing the color of a photographic image
restoration
correction, plus subtraction of unwanted marks or any gaps in image
alteration

122MickyFine
Mar 13, 2012, 2:32 pm

I'm spreading the sparkle today so...

*tosses handfuls of glitter around Stephen's thread*

123LovingLit
Mar 13, 2012, 2:53 pm

>119 Berly: Berly knows her boobs!
You are so right! How unobservant am I. Her whole arm is warped (as is the doorframe/blinds behind). I must have been too obsessed with the bustal region to notice :)
She's def wearing a wonder bra though.

124richardderus
Mar 13, 2012, 4:24 pm



In other words, YOU.

125Ape
Edited: Mar 13, 2012, 7:58 pm

Kim: I took a Photoshop class in high school, actually. *Sigh* How I wish I could afford that program. It's wonderful!

Micky: Cool, maybe all the glitter will distract everyone from that weird red stain on the kitchen floor.

Megan: So YOU were too focused on the breasts and I wasn't? Weird...

Richard: I refuse to agree with the picture on account of the fact that agreeing with it would discredit my intention of being the stated definition of a freak and so in order to positively affirm you assessment of me I am forced to deny its accuracy. Oh, and just so we clear, the background on that gif is so NOT art. :P *Hugs*

126MickyFine
Mar 14, 2012, 2:11 pm

>125 Ape: Well not after you pointed it out to everyone... Silly.

127Ape
Mar 14, 2012, 2:54 pm

Pointed what out? *Whistles innocently*

128LovingLit
Mar 14, 2012, 4:06 pm

I hope it isnt the blood of a recently be-headed door to door salesman, and is just some stray bolognaise sauce....

129Ape
Mar 14, 2012, 4:45 pm

What? I'm so confused? Whatever are you ladies talkinga bout? *Continues whistling*

130Berly
Mar 14, 2012, 4:48 pm

Could you stop whistling please? It's getting on my nerves. Just go help Micky clean it up! ; P

131Ape
Mar 14, 2012, 4:49 pm

Clean what up? *Hums innocently*

132Berly
Mar 14, 2012, 4:54 pm

Throws mop at Stephen. And now that he is humming, puts back the Saltines she was about to offer him.

133Ape
Mar 14, 2012, 5:11 pm

Ow! *Rubs forehead*

134saraslibrary
Mar 14, 2012, 7:51 pm

#122: Herpes! Herpes! (runs for cover)

135MickyFine
Mar 14, 2012, 10:40 pm

>130 Berly: Hahahahahahahaha! Like I would ever clean on Stephen's thread. I know better than touch anything around here. *zippers up isolation bubble*

136Ape
Mar 15, 2012, 8:32 am

Sara: Oh yeah, you'll totally avoid herpes if you're under covers.

Micky: *Giggles* If only you knew what I did inside that isolation bubble... ;)

137Ape
Mar 15, 2012, 8:39 am

12. The Ginseng Hunter by Jeff Talarigo



Pages: 176
Rating: 4/5

Fiction

A man in China, near the border of North Korea, a ginseng hunter lives a life of nearly absolute solitude. One day each month he travels into the nearest city to sell his ginseng, buy supplies if needed, and spends a night with one of Miss Wong's prostitutes. Living such a reclusive lifestyle he lives blissfully unaware of current events, but that quickly changes when he witnesses dead bodies floating in the river near his home and a North Korean prostitute informs him of the horrors happening in her country. Our narrator's secluded world comes crashing down as he is forced to come to terms with what is happening all around him.

I loved this book, as I seem to love every book written in this style. Sparse, aimless, not about what's going to happen next but what's happening right now. There isn't much of a plot, and so there isn't much of an ending, but this method as always lead to memorable books for me. This one fails to disprove that theory, as I loved it just as much as every other similar book I have ever read.

138Ape
Edited: Mar 15, 2012, 8:41 am

The Ginseng Hunter breakdown
March 12 - March 14 (3 days)

Day 1: 102 pages (1-103)
Day 2: 50 pages (103-153)
Day 3: 24 pages (153-176)

139MickyFine
Mar 15, 2012, 2:26 pm

>136 Ape: This is my personal, super-secret, invisible when not in use bubble. You didn't do anything inside it. :P

>137 Ape: Huh, a book I might actually pick up. *waits for Stephen collect his brain after blowing his mind* ;)

140Ape
Mar 15, 2012, 2:49 pm

Just because it's invisible doesn't mean I didn't do something inside it. :P

The book is good, I would definitely recommend it. Speaking of books, I had an accident today. Went into dollar tree to get a pack of those tiny composition books, to write my daily pages read stat into, and OF COURSE they are in the same aisle as the books. I, naturally, only glanced in that direction and was bombarded with an entire wall of books that both looked interesting and weren't in there the last time I was in. So I bought 6...and the only reason I stopped at 6 was because I couldn't carry any more.

So, I bought the following, for under $6.50.

Thieves Like Us by Stephen Cole
Psychlone by Greg Bear
Haze by L. E. Modesitt, Jr.
The Reincarnationist by M. J. Rose
Crossing Mandelbaum Gate by Kai Bird
Rocket Men by Craig Nelson

That's in addition to the 3 library books I got...

141jdthloue
Mar 15, 2012, 3:08 pm

Oooh, Kai Bird wrote American Prometheus, which I think you would like. I know I did.

You found those books at Dollar Tree?...yikes! and "what luck"

Other than that, i'm too far behind, here...but, that big-busted gal looks fine..I'm well endowed but not as much as her/she (Hershey?)

;-}

142Ape
Mar 15, 2012, 3:20 pm

Yay, glad to see you here, Jude. Yeah, my Dollar Tree always seems to have a nice selection, probably because it's a small redneck town with few readers. :)

Not well-endowed here, but at least when I'm in public no one can notice. Or, ummm, at least I hope not. Yay for overlarge pants. :)

143richardderus
Mar 15, 2012, 4:34 pm

>137 Ape: *splurtch*

...I...I...I'm...hit...goin...down...fast

144Berly
Mar 15, 2012, 4:48 pm

Book Bullets--Another ones bites the dust!

145jdthloue
Mar 15, 2012, 4:51 pm

>142 Ape: The Dollar Store here only stocks books what are "Christian"....the local Pamida is a shade better

on the "endowment'...my bust never busted until i was, like, 20...big busted women on both sides of the family...i hated the fact..until i stopped the hating...I am what i am, as long as i don't fall over

;-)

146Ape
Mar 15, 2012, 8:38 pm

Richard: What, you mean I didn't get you with The Zombie Survival Guide? You should at least OWN that one, y'know, for future reference.

Kim: Is that your way of saying my thread is dusty!? :P

Jude: Eeek! Christian books, how horrible. Your dollar store sounds menacing, I suspect they are hell-bent witches on a path of global domination and summon demons to do their bidding. Do they by any chance sell strange animal parts, y'know, the ones usually left over after animal sacrifices. They may be disguised as jars of jars of tomatoes, which are close relatives in the flavor department.

147LovingLit
Edited: Mar 16, 2012, 3:12 am

The Ginseng Hunter sounds great. Will put it on my library list.....my WL....that's all the lists I need probably.

eta: on hold for me at library :) hooray

148saraslibrary
Mar 16, 2012, 3:32 am

#140: I love the list of books you bought. It's like going book shopping for the rest of us, except you're buying. Hint, hint. ;) What'd you get at the library?

149Ape
Mar 16, 2012, 6:11 am

Megan: Muahaha. :D

Sara: The Burning by Bentley Little, which I probably won't get around to, and the two World Made by Hand books, which look awesome.

150MickyFine
Mar 16, 2012, 2:05 pm

Just inspecting glitter levels. Everything looks fine. :)

151Ape
Mar 16, 2012, 2:46 pm

Is this the appropriate level of glitter, or should we remove some?

152MickyFine
Mar 16, 2012, 5:26 pm

Why am I not surprised?

*glares over glasses*

153richardderus
Mar 16, 2012, 5:30 pm

>151 Ape: EEEWEWEWEWEWEWEW My eyes! My eyes! *retch*

154katelisim
Mar 16, 2012, 6:36 pm

Ugh, too many posts to catch up with. . . .

HELLO!!!!

155norabelle414
Mar 16, 2012, 8:22 pm

*eyes Stephen suspiciously*

156Ape
Edited: Mar 16, 2012, 8:55 pm

Micky: It actually took me FOREVER to find a naughty glitter-related graphic. Without nudity.

Richard: To be honest, I don't entirely disagree with you. The picture served its purpose, however.

Hi Katie!!

Nora: Eeeek! I don't like to be eyed! It's one of my many weaknesses. *Wilts*

157norabelle414
Mar 16, 2012, 8:52 pm

Stop pretending to not be a womanizer and I'll stop being suspicious of you!

158Ape
Edited: Mar 16, 2012, 9:06 pm

Like I said on your thread, I am not a womanizer! I do not believe that, upon finishing the dinner that the woman OR the man cooked, that it is NOT the woman's job to go do the immediately. I am a believer in the freedom of choice for everyone, and if she chooses to wait awhile to wash them that's her decision.

*Snickers*

Sorry... I await my punishment. :)

159saraslibrary
Mar 17, 2012, 4:26 pm

#149: I haven't read The Burning either. And World Made by Hand...yeah, that definitely sounds like you. ;) All post-apocalyptic warm fuzzies.

#151: That's actually kinda purdy.

#157-158: I don't think Stephen's a womanizer (that would require actual physical contact), but there's definitely a hint of misogyny.




Yeah, that'll learn him. :P

160Ape
Mar 17, 2012, 6:21 pm

Misogyny? Me? Really? Hmmmm, no, I don't think so. I don't hate women, I'm just terrified of them. There's a difference.

161MickyFine
Mar 17, 2012, 7:18 pm

Oh man, I love the feminist cat pic, Sara. :D

Are we really that terrifying, Stephen? Really?

162saraslibrary
Mar 17, 2012, 7:34 pm

#160: There's always a fine line between hate and fear.... I'm just messing with ya. ;)

#161: I know, you can never go wrong with lolcats. :)

163LovingLit
Mar 17, 2012, 7:40 pm

>153 richardderus: haha, yea, she'd pretty hideous, is anything real on her?

>159 saraslibrary: OUCH, damned lego, hurts my tender lady-feet every time. You wont find any on my floor though as little Lenny would choke on that for sure....as my kind and thoughtful MIL pointed out to me the other day.....like I would leave choking hazards strewn over the floor. hmph.

164Ape
Mar 17, 2012, 8:47 pm

Micky: Yes. Very much so. Unless you are offended by that. If that's the case, OH MY gOD PLEASE DON'T HURT ME I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT EEEEEEEK!

Sara: Good. Women have no place criticizing a man. Sheesh. ...WHAT I SAID TO MICKY EEEEEK! *Ducks*

Megan: I don't know, I can't see all of her. :(

165MickyFine
Mar 17, 2012, 8:50 pm

*considers hitting the button that will summon the attack ninjas*

Better be on your best behaviour for a while, mister.

166Ape
Mar 18, 2012, 8:15 am

Well, my best behavior is still probably not very good, but I'll try. :)

*Smiles sweetly and eats ice cream with a child-like look on his face. Nevermind that he stole the ice cream from someone else's freezer*

167MickyFine
Mar 18, 2012, 2:38 pm

What flavour of ice cream?

168saraslibrary
Mar 18, 2012, 11:54 pm

#163: Lego's are the devil's toys, for sure. And your MIL sounds...lovely. :)

#164: (pokes Stephen in the eyeball)

#167: So it's ok he stole it?

169MickyFine
Mar 19, 2012, 2:32 pm

>168 saraslibrary: Depends on the flavour. :P And if he'll share with me.

170saraslibrary
Mar 19, 2012, 7:45 pm

Bah! You're teaching him awful, awful things. And here I was supposed to be the one who was corrupting him. Speaking of which: Stephen, I found a pic that proves your misogynistic point:



(runs out of Stephen's thread before the angry villagers can pitchfork her)

171norabelle414
Mar 19, 2012, 8:12 pm

Melrose Place??!? How old is that graphic?!?

172saraslibrary
Mar 20, 2012, 2:52 am

(gets her old lady glasses out) Ah, I see what you mean. It's ancient alright. :) (laughs over the fact that Melrose Place was the only offensive thing found on there)

173richardderus
Mar 20, 2012, 4:44 am

>170 saraslibrary: Could also be titled, "Why Gay Men Are Happier Than Straight Men"

174MickyFine
Mar 20, 2012, 2:48 pm

>172 saraslibrary: Meh, I'm not feeling rage-y today. Maybe I'll get all feminist and rant about stereotypes later. But probably not.

175norabelle414
Mar 20, 2012, 2:52 pm

let me tell you all the things that offend me, in order:

1) Melrose Place
2) The typo at the bottom that says "Quite" when it means "Quiet"
3) That random black line below where it says Melrose Place
4) the entire content of the diagram

176Ape
Mar 20, 2012, 3:40 pm

167: Ummmm, blue raspberry bananut-cream with chocolate chips and gummy bears. Sounds gross right? *Hides ice cream so Micky can't see the actual flavor.*

168: Oy!

169: Of course I'll sure, but you definitely wouldn't like it because it's gross and icky...yeah, totally.

170: Ha, I remember seeing that years ago. There is a male version too, I believe.

177Ape
Mar 20, 2012, 3:41 pm

171: Definitely old. Very old.

172: I'm personally offended by the gross over-simplifications of the female brain. If it was that simple I wouldn't find them so terrifying.

173: How offensive! *whisper*You don't think the sex initiator gland is really that small do you?*whisper* Silly Richard, women don't actually fit into a mould like that. Sheesh. *whisper*I think the Shiny Thing gland is way too small*whisper*

174: Don't worry, there's one for men too, and both are equally offensive. I'll post it next.

175: I'm personally offended by the color

178Ape
Edited: Mar 20, 2012, 3:42 pm

179Ape
Edited: Mar 20, 2012, 6:29 pm

13. White Bread: A Social History of the Store-Bought Loaf by Aaron Bobrow-Strain



Pages: 202
Rating: 4/5

Nonfiction: Food

It might be surprising to many people the relationship something as simple as bread has had with so many aspects of our daily lives. While food in general can always be an indicator to the condition of a nation's well-being, looking at bread specifically can be an intriguing and insightful way to judge the social personality of a group of people. In the United States, we've gone from a nation of home-baked bread eaters to purveyors of bleached, chemical-laden loaves of industrialized white bread, and then back again to 'all-natural' bread just recently. Even if by 'all-natural' we mean bleached, chemical-laden loaves of industrialized bread with caramel coloring (brown dye) that is masterly crafted with holes and irregular shape so as to appear healthy. You know, because it's not the ingredients that affect how healthy a slice of bread is but its shape and color, obviously...

I was dubious upon reading in the summary that the author was going to draw correlations between racial/sexual prejudice, politics, culture, and other things with the way we eat bread, but they do always seem to be connected. While it is most likely that neither have a direct effect on the other they do seem to progress in a symbiotic manner, which I never considered until now.

White Bread was a great read. It's not the most comprehensive book being just under 200 pages, but this is always a positive thing for when it comes to popular nonfiction. It's still 200 pages of great information presented in a readable way, it doesn't overstay its welcome and while the book might not have made me an expert on the evolution of bread I do feel significantly more knowledgeable about the process and the basic history of bread-making over the past 100 years or so. Most importantly, Bobrow-Strain presents his information in a fairly objective way, only occasionally sounding like he has a an agenda and never coming off as a food Nazi, which is always a danger when writing about this particular topic.

I really liked the book, despite my alarm over the author's endorsement of unpasteurized milk. It was a fascinating, enligtening, and ultimately enjoyable experience and I'm glad to have won a free copy through Librarything's Early Reviewer program.

180norabelle414
Mar 20, 2012, 7:18 pm

unpasteurized milk is deeeelicious.

Great review!

181Ape
Mar 20, 2012, 9:10 pm

Yech! I'm not a germophobe by a long shot, but I prefer my food to be at least mostly sterile. I have a difficult time swallowing meat that isn't fully cooked, and as soon as things hit their expiration date they are out of my fridge regardless of whether or not it has a smell. I'll chew on the pen cap I dropped on the sidewalk by I'm not touching a cheeseburger with a little bit of pink in the middle. Know way could I drink unpasteurized milk.

Thanks! :)

182norabelle414
Mar 20, 2012, 9:13 pm

There's a huge difference between meat that is passed its expiration date and milk that has not been irradiated before it is served*

*not that I have a problem with the mass-pasteurization of dairy products. It's an amazing thing that has changed our world. But unpasteurized milk just tastes better, when bought same-day from a trusted dairy.

183Ape
Mar 20, 2012, 9:30 pm

That's the curious thing about this whole 'back to eating local' thing. While it's true that these huge corporations are all about profit and they will cut corners to make more money as fast a possible at the expense of the health of their customers, but what would happen if instead of a few huge industrialized mass producers there are hundreds of thousands of local producers?

I mean, there was a time when these big businesses WERE trustworthy, but eventually they all succumb to greed (or get bought out by those who do.) I can't believe that every single baker or dairy provider in the entire country would be honest about their work, and it would be much harder to keep tabs on so many producers. I know industrialized food is bad, but who is watching local producers? They could do just about anything to their food and who would know?

People say the reason they don't pay more attention to labels now is because they don't have enough time to examine every label of every single thing they eat. How could they do the same with every single local producer? Unless we went back to having a person in every household that cooked with raw ingredients and abandoned all forms of food prepared by other people, I don't think there will ever be a "right" way of going about this.

184richardderus
Mar 20, 2012, 11:47 pm

>179 Ape: Thumbs-upped that one! Well done.

185Ape
Mar 21, 2012, 6:35 am

Thanks Richard! :)

186MickyFine
Mar 21, 2012, 2:24 pm

Interesting read, Stephen. We make white bread at home for my dad as he has sylliac tendencies and he's allergic to soy, so no store-bought bread for him.

187saraslibrary
Mar 21, 2012, 7:55 pm

#181: Well, if you drink the milk straight from the cow or woman's goat's nipple, then you wouldn't have to worry about germs. :P

#183: People say the reason they don't pay more attention to labels now is because they don't have enough time to examine every label of every single thing they eat. -- ??? That has got to be the lamest excuse I've heard (from them, not you, Stephen). It takes maybe 1 minute to read ingredients (depending on what's in it--the worse it is for you, the longer it takes to read it all; the better it is, less to read).

And even though I looooved white bread when I was a kid, I don't go near the stuff unless I'm buying it to feed the birds. It's not fit for human consumption, imho. I prefer Ezekiel or Dave's Killer Bread (yuuuum).

188Ape
Mar 21, 2012, 8:11 pm

Micky: It's fine if the flour is naturally aged (I hope I got that piece of information right.) One of the points of the book was that traditionally white bread was a luxury that only the rich could afford because of how slow the process is, but with industrialized bread it was easier to just use the brown stuff and dye it white. Store-bought white bread is generally terrible, although it doesn't have to be!

I keep wondering what would happen if, say, a local baker bought white flower that was bleached that color, then dyed the bread brown, so the eater is getting a double dose of chemicals while thinking they are eating 'healthy' bread. I think the point is, it's not the color or shape, it's what's in the stuff. :)

Sara: White bread has it's place. It has no taste, really, so it makes for a great foundation. Like for pizza, garlic bread, cinnamon sticks, etc. It's like pretzels, which has a flavor of...ummm...well, salt. I can't imagine just pulling out a slice of white bread and eating it.

189Ape
Edited: Mar 22, 2012, 3:40 pm

Oh hey, I totally forgot to say that the last time I was in the public library there was a MALE...browsing the books. Yeah seriously, I didn't think those existed. I'm almost certain I wasn't hallucinating. Weird.

190norabelle414
Mar 22, 2012, 3:44 pm

Are you sure it wasn't a mirror? Did you try headbutting it to find out?

191jdthloue
Mar 22, 2012, 3:46 pm

WTF????

192Ape
Mar 22, 2012, 3:49 pm

Nora: No, it was wearing a hat sideways and talked back to me, which the mirror only does on occasion. Plus, I would never describe a fantasy series as 'badass.'

Jude: Precisely!

193richardderus
Mar 22, 2012, 4:09 pm

My local liberry is a small heaven for twinkie hunters. College boys galore. Every visit I drool about a pint.

194Ape
Mar 22, 2012, 4:39 pm

Ha, I confess to visiting the library first thing in the morning, so that I have the shelves all to myself. I don't think I've ever been there with more than 1-2 other people browsing at the same time. Never men though.

Shortly after graduating high school I had a group of friends I met up with weekly, and I visited the library before the meet-up, so I was in there around 4pm. Horrible. There must have been, like, 4 people browsing the shelves on some days. Sheesh.

:P

195LovingLit
Mar 22, 2012, 4:42 pm

>190 norabelle414: bwa haha!

Love the bread book review. Looks a like one to read, although if I read it I would have my rose tinted glasses on and be thinking the whole time "surely this kind of stuff wouldnt happen here in clean green NZ". Brown food colouring in bread to make people think its a healthier kind? wow.

196Ape
Mar 22, 2012, 5:07 pm

It's amazing what big business will do to sell things, and even more amazing what people will buy without thinking. It's amazing how clueless people are. My mom actually buys a brown bread that I bought for a little while myself, it specifically mentioned "unbleached flour" as the first ingredient but, closer to the bottom, mentions it has 'caramel color' in it.

197saraslibrary
Mar 22, 2012, 6:42 pm

#188: I used to eat bread by itself all the time, sometimes with gobs of butter on it. It was like crack for me as a kid. Can't do that now as an adult where my metabolism is like that of a slug, no matter how much I exercise. :/

#189: We have tons of guys at our libraries (unfortunately). They're either the obnoxious teens I have to tell to shut up/stop setting fire/breaking our computers all the time, or they're the creepy older guys following the staff around like stalkers. We never have any "normal" guys. Or maybe they just blend in so well I don't notice them.

lol @ 190. Yeah, I can totally see Stephen charging him like a kitten with a mirror.

#192: Are you sure you weren't at my library, Stephen? Seriously, that's just what a group of guys were saying over some book yesterday. I can see badass describing a ride or a video game or car. But a book? (scratches head)

#193: "Drool". Right. ;)

#194: Opening and closing hours are my favorite, too. Very few people and--even better--it's quiet. :o

198Ape
Mar 22, 2012, 7:43 pm

Buttered bread was a common meal for me as a child too! Now it's peanut butter instead of non-peanut butter. Because I'm a poor bastard. :D

My library is usually filled with people at the computers, which unfortunately are located in the CENTER of the library with the adult ficton/nonfiction along the walls. Oh well, I guess that stops the kids from looking at things they shouldn't.

I couldn't have been at your library, because you said no "normal" guys go. That wouldn't be true if I was there, because I'm so completely normal. *Licks Sara's keyboard*

199saraslibrary
Mar 23, 2012, 2:33 am

Hey, thanks! Now I don't have to worry about getting those pesky pubes out from under my keys. And I'll take your word for not being at my library, but I still suspect you were there, because our whole disease section was ransacked this past week. (eyeballs Stephen)

Poor bastard--with a car, I might add; so you have one up on me. And there's nothing wrong with peanut butter (unless it's that goop that's 1% peanuts and 99% hydrogenated oils); it's good protein. Come to think of it, it's probably better for you than butter/margarine.

Ditto on our library--most people are on computers that are in the middle of the library. The children's and teens are farther away, of course, because most of the adults are looking at porn (and, to be honest, some of the kids are, too). I've made the mistake of glancing at several patrons' screens. One guy was even taking pictures of it with his cell phone. I almost went up to him and said he could buy a CD at the help desk to store all his porn on instead of using his cell. Somehow my coworker talked me out of it. Bad customer service or something. Hmph.

200Ape
Mar 23, 2012, 6:00 am

I'm not going to ask what you do with your keyboard to get pubic hair in it.

I'm deeply concerned that porn is so rampant in your library. Not only is it incredibly creepy, but I thought it was illegal too. Hmmm, well I'm not sure what they look at in my library, I give the section a very wide berth when walking by.

201scaifea
Mar 23, 2012, 9:20 am

*waves*

202Ape
Mar 23, 2012, 9:59 am

Hiiii Amber! I'm glad you've stopped using that "Oh hey I'm not going to be around to post for awhile" excuse to ignore me. ;)

203MickyFine
Mar 23, 2012, 2:41 pm

>200 Ape: Not sure what the laws are in the States, but up here, porn isn't illegal. However, most (if not all) library internet use policies prohibit viewing porn. If as a librarian I come across someone watching porn, they get told to shut it down and get off the computer. People tend to leave after that.

As for males in the library, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, I'm currently working on a research project on library space. In the observation study that was done, just slightly more than 50% of people in the library in the system I work for were male.

204richardderus
Mar 23, 2012, 5:02 pm

Why would someone watch porn at the liberry? I mean, what with all those books RIGHT THERE waiting to be used, what's the point?

205Ape
Mar 23, 2012, 6:43 pm

Micky: Porn isn't illegal in public in Canada? o.O That stat is seriously weird too, although since I think cards are required to access the computers I wouldn't be surprised if those numbers weren't similar here. Is there any way you can look into which gender checks out books more?

Richard: Not everyone can achieve orgasms by browsing books like we can! ....right? ...

206LauraBrook
Mar 23, 2012, 10:22 pm

Hi Stephen! Not catching up, just starting over from here. Hope you're doing well!

207MickyFine
Mar 23, 2012, 10:52 pm

>204 richardderus: Some peoples just aren't as special as you, Richard. ;)

>205 Ape: Honestly, I have no idea what porn laws are in Canada. Not something I pay attention to, really. As for the research stuff, you can get a temporary internet pass in our library system, which means you don't have to have a library card to use the computers. Also, you can access the wifi without a card. As for circulation stats by gender, that's not something we have access to with our project, nor does it fall into our purview as the study is focused on library space usage. However, I can tell you that observed activities and self-reported activities by survey respondents don't differ much with gender.

208saraslibrary
Mar 24, 2012, 12:17 am

#200: Scratch myself with it. Doesn't everyone?

I think it's only illegal for minors. I wish I could give you an explanation about why porn is allowed on computers and not available on the shelves (not that you're eager for the latter, I know), but I tuned out when one of my coworkers was explaining it to me. Bad, I know, but I have this weird little switch in brain that shuts itself off any time someone doesn't give me a definite answer to a question I ask. Sorry.

#203: I think the only time someone's been told to log off their computer is if several people complain about it, they're masturbating, and/or they're listening to it without headphones. As far as I know, it's compeletely ok to look at porn (if you're an adult), because I asked my supervisor about the above incident (message #199), and she shrugged it off, as did almost all of my coworkers. Go figure.

#204: Because they can't look at it at home. A lot of cheating spouses also come to our libraries to contact their Internet sweeties, which is oodles of fun when their significant other shows up and discovers what they're doing. It's like a live episdode of Jerry Springer. :)

#205: I'd be afraid of a papercut.

209Ape
Mar 24, 2012, 6:18 am

Hey Laura! I'm okay, glad you are here! :)

Micky: Weird. Men don't read here. I live in redneck country though, the menfolk are too busy hunting and driving excessively large trucks to bother with that book nonsense.

Sara: It's illegal to sell porn to minors, but I thought porn in public places was illegal for the very fact that it would give minors access to it. The same way it is illegal in some places to have an 'open container' of alcohol in public, unless you are in a bar (where minors can't go.) Since libraries are accessible by those of any age, pornography would be illegal in them, unless there is a room of computers that only adults can use, in which case pornography would be legal in that room only.

I remember when I was a teenager, when my mom was watching some horrible show like Dr. Phil or something, there was a story about a woman whose child saw a pornographic video being played in someone else's car. Normally it would have been illegal, but because it was inside the car and thus private property it didn't fall under the law. I'm guessing that would make it illegal in public libraries.

210LovingLit
Mar 24, 2012, 2:46 pm

Jerry Springer....Dr Phil....day time talk shows. *shudder shudder*
I saw an episode of the Tyra Banks Show ONCE.....it was hilarious, she was crying over her guest and it was all very over dramatic and silly. But made good comedy :)

211richardderus
Mar 24, 2012, 2:50 pm

>205 Ape: REALLY? Are you SURE?! Oh. How sad for them.

212Ape
Mar 24, 2012, 4:11 pm

Megan: Without question the worst show in the history of television is Maury. If I EVER see it on ANYWHERE for ANY reason I want to break the tv IMMEDIATELY. How anyone can watch such loud, obnoxious nonsense is beyond my comprehension. Ugh.

Richard: Well, I assume so. People always look at me weird when I moan in ecstasy with a science fiction book in my hand, so I'm guessing it's an anomaly.

213LovingLit
Mar 24, 2012, 7:21 pm

oooh, never heard of that one...

214Ape
Edited: Mar 24, 2012, 8:22 pm

It's people screaming at each other for an hour, and 90 percent of it is bleeped out, so if you are in another room you just hear an hour-long beep with intermittent AIADFJPAOIFJAVLKJAOPFVIJASF every few seconds. It's ridiculously moronic, so it's a big hit with Americans.

215MickyFine
Mar 24, 2012, 11:09 pm

>209 Ape: Oh Stephen, I love that you think Alberta isn't full of rednecks. It totally is. Of course, I'm working in the capital city, so it's a bit more "gentrified" but we still have our fair share of rednecks. Ohio doesn't have the monopoly on them, I promise you.

216Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 6:18 am

Micky: True, but I do live in a small town where gentrification is nonexistent. I don't count, I live inside away from the public. Plus, I'm not gentrified anyway. Granted I don't hunt, drink rancid beer, where unwashed clothes, or laugh at farts...but still!

217Morphidae
Mar 25, 2012, 7:17 am

But farts are funny! How can you not laugh at farts? You cretin!

218Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 8:25 am

My mother's current boyfriend will laugh hystically at any fart sound effect ever played in any circumstance imaginable. Doesn't matter when, why, or how, if theres a fart sound he practically dies laughing. I...don't get it...

219mckait
Mar 25, 2012, 8:35 am

* delurking to say*
With you on what is not funny, Stephen!
*relurking*

220Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 8:54 am

It's okay, Kath, you can admit that you don't read my thread because you don't love me anymore. I'll only be a little sad, honest!

...

*Weeps*

221mckait
Mar 25, 2012, 9:53 am

yea..I've been a little busy so far this year so far.....

222richardderus
Mar 25, 2012, 11:17 am

flying through on my broom

223Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 3:27 pm

Kath: Yes, I suppose I would know why if I weren't always behind on your thread too. What has become of us!?

Richard: Cool broom! I hope it isn't a stick-shift...

224MickyFine
Mar 25, 2012, 7:10 pm

>216 Ape: So if you're not gentrified and you're not a redneck, what are you? :)

225richardderus
Mar 25, 2012, 7:27 pm

Anybody who reads as much as our little Apey reads is gentrified to the rednecks and unhealthy to the gentry. That would make him a troglodyte.

226Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 8:03 pm

Micky: Well, according to you, a creepy pervert! :_(

Richard: Troglodyte sounds like something I would search for on a weird fetish site. It's completely untrue, as I am convinced I can reproduce aesexually. I just need to work out all the kinks, errr, so to speak.

Book review on the way!

227Ape
Mar 25, 2012, 8:10 pm

14. World Made by Hand by James Howard Kunstler



Pages: 317
Rating: 3/5

Fiction: Dystopia

Are you a locavore? Do you think people who grow their own food are better/happier/healthier/superior? Do you hate big business, major corporations, and all that industrialized nonsense? Does "made in China" make you squirm? This book is for you! A utopian paradise beset by human suffering, mass death, and general apocalyptic despair! Hey, you asked for it, not me.

World Made by Hand is a dystopian novel set years after the United States government collapsed due to oil shortages and general economic failure. WIth no lights, no radio, no television, and all that, everything falls into disarray. Prolonged exposure to this miserable form of existence has apparently resulted in strong inclination for drug use, lots of sex with people you probably shouldn't (like the minster's wife and that lady who just lost her husband) and lots of alcohol. I mean LOTS alcohol. Like "What will you have with your eggs? Alcohol, alcohol, or alcohol?" We can let the water system go to hell and bathe in water saturated with decaying animal putresence but heaven forbid there isn't enough alcohol to go around.

It was hard for me to take this book seriously. It really was a relatively well-written novel, very atmospheric and with an addicting plot to boot. There are many positive things I could say about the novel, but it just kept feeling like the author handed the manuscript to a 13-year-old and asked what he thought, and the boy said "more drugs and boobies!" I'm far from a prude, in fact I'm probably on the opposite end of the spectrum, but the absurdity of it detracted from the realism I the author was aiming at. Plus, the weird evangelical cult still has me a little confused.

I liked the book though, really I did. Well, sort of. It was enjoyable and I'll probably read The Witch of Hebron eventually, but I'll be putting it aside from now and come back to it some other time for now. Diehard dystopian fans should definitely look into it though, there are enough interesting ideas here to make to intrigue regulars of the genre, I suspect. For everyone else, well, you could do worse... 3 stars!

228richardderus
Mar 25, 2012, 11:23 pm

For everyone else, well, you could do worse...

Oooh, must rush out an buy a half-dozen as Xmas gifts! No, make it a dozen and I'll give them as birthday gifts too! Heck, maybe they'll do a whole *print run* just for me!

229LovingLit
Mar 26, 2012, 2:15 am

I am firmly in the "hate farts" camp.
Of course I dont have to worry about them as any that I might do would be silent and smell like talcum powder.

230Ape
Mar 26, 2012, 6:56 am

Richard: Quick, before everyone else buys them all!

Megan: Haha, I have nothing against farts, I just find it odd that some people will laugh. Every. Single. Time.

231Morphidae
Mar 26, 2012, 7:16 am

>229 LovingLit: smell like talcum powder

*snorts*

>230 Ape: True. Sometimes a fart just is just a fart.

232Ape
Mar 26, 2012, 7:23 am

Is that a famous presidential quote?

233Morphidae
Mar 26, 2012, 7:52 am

No, that would be, "The only thing to fart is fart itself."

234MickyFine
Mar 26, 2012, 2:22 pm

>226 Ape: I never said you were creepy. You are Perv Boy, internet action hero! ;)

I won't be picking up your latest read, but I did thumb the review. Now back to the flatulence humour...

235Ape
Mar 26, 2012, 2:25 pm

Morphy: Ah, right, I always get those mixed up!

Micky: Is there such a thing as a non-creepy pervert?

236FAMeulstee
Mar 26, 2012, 2:28 pm

I could not resist:

a non-creepy pervert I always thought you were the proto-type ;-)

237MickyFine
Mar 26, 2012, 2:47 pm

>235 Ape: We will observe you and determine if you are or are not creepy, I guess. :)

238Ape
Mar 26, 2012, 3:03 pm

Anita: I'm still convinced I'm the innocent one here. I could, for example, say something like "I'm trying to make a point here" and Micky will giggle and think I'm talking about an erection. Pffft. :P

Micky: You will 'observe' me? Well if that isn't creepy...

239saraslibrary
Mar 26, 2012, 7:44 pm

I'll just poke you with a stick.

And post fart pictures on your thread, 'cause I, for one, think they're funny (and cute, in this case). So there! :P

240LovingLit
Mar 27, 2012, 2:58 am

lol
ninja fart cat

241Ape
Mar 27, 2012, 7:08 am

o.O

So I'm playing my sister's copy of the Sly Cooper collection. It's so cute and stupid I can't decide if it's horrible or just bad.

242Morphidae
Edited: Mar 27, 2012, 7:17 am

I had a dog that was afraid of her own farts. She'd fart, jump and run away from "it," then turn around to look at her butt. "What the hell was that?"

243dk_phoenix
Mar 27, 2012, 8:52 am

244norabelle414
Mar 27, 2012, 9:31 am

farting fish

It's a scholarly article. No, really!

245MickyFine
Mar 27, 2012, 3:03 pm

>238 Ape: Observational research is creepy for everyone. True facts. Also, don't think I didn't notice your insinuation that I am in the gutter more than you. That is definitely not true. *stares at Stephen over glasses*

246saraslibrary
Mar 27, 2012, 7:17 pm

#240: The best kind there is! ;)

#242: So did mine! It was like a propellant for him. He'd fart, then sprint a couple yards and look behind him. You would think after all those years he'd finally put 2 and 2 together, but no. Poor guy. :)

#244: Was I supposed to hear or see something in the video(?), because I didn't. :(

I loved this quote, though:
"Yep, the fish headed to shallower waters when it was time to fart.

If I didn't know better, I'd say they were trying to get as close to us as possible before they started passing gas."

I wouldn't blame them, what with all the oil we dump in the oceans, etc.

247Morphidae
Mar 28, 2012, 7:31 am

>246 saraslibrary: Eventually she got old enough that she simply didn't care anymore. But I would giggle at the "propellant."

248norabelle414
Mar 28, 2012, 8:20 am

>246 saraslibrary: I think it's the ticking sound that you hear in the video if you turn the volume way up. One of the commenters posted another scientific article which calls the noises Fast Repetitive Ticks (FRTs).

249Ape
Mar 28, 2012, 1:33 pm

o.O Ok, new thread time I think...

250Ape
Edited: Mar 28, 2012, 1:36 pm

...aaaand its up!

251jdthloue
Mar 28, 2012, 1:37 pm

What is all this farting? am i back in 7th grade?

I need an answer....

252Ape
Mar 28, 2012, 1:40 pm

Jude: I had no part in it. *Shrug* There's a new thread now though! :)
This topic was continued by Ape's 2012 Challenge (7).