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What have you caught yourself saying to/of your cat?

Cats, books, life is good.

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1AnnaClaire
Mar 27, 2012, 10:50pm Top

What strange or funny things have you caught yourself saying to or about your kitties? What do you say to them that no one else would remotely tolerate?

A few that I've said:

"Ooh, she's killing her mouse again!" Within about a week, our sweetie had amputated the tail of her little mouse toy. Now it's no more than a piece of fake fur.

"Eat your wet food or I'll take away your kibble." The wet food was medicated; the kibble was not.

"Hey! Get out of the bubble wrap! I suppose she wanted to ship herself somewhere. Just which somewhere is up for debate.

2BookLizard
Mar 27, 2012, 11:17pm Top

Years ago, I had just finished dialing the phone when I saw my male cat doing something inappropriate to my female kitten. So I told him, "Get your tongue out of her ***!" Then I realized the phone wasn't ringing anymore . . . Luckily it was my brother who I was calling, but he heard every word and will never let me live it down. LOL.

3MerryMary
Mar 27, 2012, 11:21pm Top

"Damn it, Cat, a not-dead-yet mouse is not a plaything!"

4letterpress
Mar 27, 2012, 11:43pm Top

> 2

That's gold.

I've had friends staying at my house who've been thoroughly amused to hear "no bum sniffing at the dinner table" come from the kitchen.

5lilithcat
Mar 28, 2012, 12:08am Top

"Eat your dinner* not mine!"

"You and your snake . . ." sung to the tune of the old jazz standard, "You and your smile hold a strange invitation . . ." (she loudly hunts her toy snake in the middle of the night)

"I can't see through you" (when she's lying on the paper as I'm trying to do the Sunday crossword)

"Quit licking my armpit". (Yes, she does; no, I don't know why.)

*(or breakfast, or lunch, as the case might be)

6gilroy
Mar 28, 2012, 7:26am Top

"Hey! Get out of the bubble wrap!"

This is everyone at my house. :) Cats and humans.

Others:
would you use the outdoor bathroom, please?

Get your filthy butt off the table!

Well, you just ruined two hours worth of work...
Usually when the cat walks across the keybaord and gets the right key combo to erase a story I'd just finished.

7jugglingpaynes
Mar 28, 2012, 10:41am Top

We are especially nuts in our house because we give the cats voices and act out their responses. For example, if I see Hobgoblin is about to pull at the window shade and say, "Hobby, what are you doing?" One of my kids will pipe up (in his voice) "Nothing....yet!"

We also spend a lot of time lately saying "Find another place to sleep! Get off the stove!"

8AnnaClaire
Mar 28, 2012, 10:44am Top

>7 jugglingpaynes:
The bubble wrap line was a fairly recent one, too. I said it last night, realized how silly it sounds, and started this thread.

9fuzzi
Mar 28, 2012, 10:54am Top

I do this with not only my cats, but my dog as well.

When I tell my dog to sit, and she doesn't respond immediately, I look at her and say "Excuse me? Did you forget something?" and then she sits.

Other comments to dog:

"Kitty doesn't like being chewed, quit that!"

"Do not put your nose there!"

"Please don't drool on my clean skirt!"

"Is there some reason you are sitting on my feet?"

"This is a walk, not an excuse to sniff kitty butts"

Comments to cat(s):

"No, you're too fat, I'm not giving you treats no matter how much you beg!" (yes, that's for the cat!)

"Mommy is not in the mood to pet you..."

"Must you do that?"

"Please stop kneading me, it hurts..."

"That is NOT a litter box!"

(answering a meow) "What? You want attention 'nee-oww'?" or "You want to be fed 'nee-oww?" :D

10AnnaClaire
Mar 28, 2012, 12:09pm Top

>9 fuzzi:/talking back

Sometimes, I'll answer our cat's meows with a "meow?" just to see if she'll try to clarify.

11tardis
Mar 28, 2012, 12:35pm Top

I say "get off the table!" to mine so often I'm sure they think it's their name. They sure don't recognize it as a command :)

12ArmyAngel1986
Mar 28, 2012, 12:55pm Top

""Quit licking my armpit". (Yes, she does; no, I don't know why.)"

We had a cat who would wait for my dad to throw his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor after roadmarches so she could roll in the sweat stains. We were told, but never confirmed, that there's just something in human sweat that attracts cats.

In less than 24 hours, I expect to be saying to my cat, "I missed you so much, come snuggle, NODON'TBITEarrrrrgggghhhh!" because I am headed to the airport in just a few short hours. :D

13millhold
Mar 28, 2012, 3:25pm Top

Unfortunately, I often say to Tiger Lilly: "I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't put your butt in my face, especially when you're going to fart!"

The other thing I say to her everyday is: "move. Move! MOVE! MOVE, DAMN IT!" Because she loves getting in front of me, and slowing down to almost non-moving status. This is problematic for me, because once I get my knees and legs moving, it's hard for me to stop, and I don't want to step on her.

14letterpress
Mar 28, 2012, 6:15pm Top

What is it with cats and the need to stop dead in front of a moving person? Mine will absolutely fly for the kitchen at breakfast time only to come to a grinding halt as soon as they are directly in my path. Dulcie then looks up at me and meows as if to say "who told you to stop moving?".

"Bloody hell cat, I can't work the can opener if my neck is broken."

15BookLizard
Mar 28, 2012, 9:14pm Top

5> A variation on your dinner comment. "This is Momma food, not cat food. This is MOMMA FOOD, NOT CAT FOOD!!" (They never listen.)

16Seanie
Mar 28, 2012, 9:44pm Top

#5 & #15 - my version is "This is mine not yours - No Human food for kitties!"

#11 - I've often wondered if my cats think their names are "Bench cat" because of how often I'm yelling "Get off the bench cat!"

#9 & #10 - I often have conversations in meowish with my guys & even more so with the shelter cats, I have had some funny looks from people walking in & I can just hear them thinking "crazy cat lady alert - meowing back at the cats!"

I often wonder what my neighbours must think when I'm trying to get Taj & Tilly in from the enclosure at night & I sing out the back window "where are my bubbas, my bubbas want cuddles, cuddles for bubbas - inside now"

17streamsong
Edited: Mar 28, 2012, 11:21pm Top

Conversation this morning"

"If you don't get off that pile of books, there's going to be a catalanche!".

(Huge avalanch occurs......)

ETA: ask the cat about the missing e in the above post!

18MerryMary
Mar 28, 2012, 10:48pm Top

Get off the keyboard. Off. Off the keyboard. Get. Off. The....Damn.

19Tanglewood
Mar 29, 2012, 1:02pm Top

"Leave the damn paperclips alone! Nooooo!"

This is said as Kitcat is knocking my neatly paperclipped students' work all over the place trying to steal the paperclips.

20tardis
Mar 29, 2012, 1:11pm Top

"Stop biting the comics! they're worth more than you are!" because Rory has a thing about paper and I'm trying to catalogue my comic collection for eventual sale. One cat toothmark is the difference between "near mint" and "very fine" or worse.

Paper is one of his favourite things and despite my best efforts, I have returned a few library books with small dents in the covers or pages. Fortunately he hasn't done serious damage to anything... yet.

21AnnaClaire
Mar 29, 2012, 1:29pm Top

>20 tardis:
See also, the "Chewed but unowned" collection in Ankher's 'library.'

Such dog-like tendencies in cats aren't as weird as one might think. My cat wags her tail and still occasionally chases it.

22tardis
Mar 29, 2012, 1:59pm Top

Both my cats chase their tails (and each other's tails) all the time. Hilarious to watch. They're still young (approx 9 months) and I hope they don't grow out of it for a long, long time (if ever).

The paper chewing is new to me, though. Rory will gnaw on almost anything - rings, watches and glasses (all while being worn), my hair, the edge of the computer screen, etc. The good thing is he seems to have mostly grown out of gnawing on fingers.

23quillmenow
Edited: Mar 29, 2012, 2:21pm Top

My daily outburst is, "GET SOMEWHERE!" because my cats like to muddle up my household plans (cleaning, cooking, etc). It's something my grandmother would tell the grandkids when we got in her way. I don't have kids or grandkids, so the cats get a bit of the "Doris treatment."

24millhold
Mar 30, 2012, 1:08pm Top

When Tiger Lilly is doing something I think is funny, or something she shouldn't be doing, I sometimes holler, "Hey, you with the face!" I dont' know where that comes from, or why I say it, but Tiger Lilly loves it, and will immediately come love on me when I holler that at her.

25Rowntree
Edited: Mar 30, 2012, 3:03pm Top

#22 - My Breagha is rising 14, and still chases her tail.

Squabbling cats get to hear, "I don't care which of you started it - both of you quit it!" (there's my mother coming out of my mouth. . . )

26susiesharp
Mar 30, 2012, 3:41pm Top

Like #2 ,I've been caught saying something like "get your butt out of my face" while on the phone usually my mother who also owns cats so understands luckily!

This is usually from my cat trying to get between me and my book because I'm obviously not paying enough attention to her, she would have better luck if she pointed the other way!

27BookLizard
Mar 30, 2012, 11:22pm Top

26> My little girl does that to me all the time when I'm in bed - walks up to sniff my face then turns around and stands there. I usually give her a little shove and say, "That's not your best side!"

28Severn
Mar 31, 2012, 1:23pm Top

So...um...my signature should really be, if one was allowed signatures here, 'one divorce short of being a crazy cat lady.'

The alpha cat in our household is peculiar in that he often brings home other little kitty friends. But god help the neighbouring cats if he decides he doesn't like 'em.

Our immediate neighbours have a lovely little cat that is a frequent target of Charley's ire. One day, I was hanging out the window observing a tiff. Charley finally left the other cat alone and I actually yelled out the window:

'Good boy, did you win that one? Well done!'

The mortified 'hon! Omg, stop!' from my husband brought me back to the fact that I was leaning out a window talking to my bloody cat as if he was a child...

I have to say...I do this a lot....

My husband has been known to say 'Mmmmmmmmmmm bum!' when butt-sniffing is occurring.

My God. We're mad.

29fuzzi
Mar 31, 2012, 3:57pm Top

If we're mad, then I would prefer insanity...

30guido47
Apr 1, 2012, 1:48am Top

Dear Group,

I thought everone had conversations with their cats.
Of course not about Quantum Mechanics, although...
Schroendinger did have a famous Cat. I did not approve of the Cyanide in the experiment, "Gedunken " though it may be.

An ongoing debate I have with Max, concerns conservation and the fragility of our 'native fauna'.

Around dusk (if he is inside) I close the door. The ensuing debate consists of...

MEAAOOU repeated several times in a loud voice.

"No Max, you know it's your curfew, NO"

Several repetitions of Meaouw, getting softer with each stern NO and an explanation of why NOT follow, until I finally hear a last soft "half silent" "meaoo" and then
silence, a final squat by the door, until the next night rituals
begin.

After almost 3 years I suspect he has heard all my arguements before and is probably bored with them, since now, the debate only lasts a few minutes, as opposed to the half hour when I first started to explain ecology to him.

I am sure he will eventually accept all my points and not try it on late at night, when he sometimes forgets some finer point of our debate.

Your cat debator,

Guido.

31fuzzi
Apr 2, 2012, 7:28pm Top

:D guido !

32guido47
Apr 2, 2012, 7:47pm Top

Ah Ha! Now I know why I couldn't us "Guido" as a member-id when I first joined!
Although THAT Guido isn't very LT'ish.
Just had a horrid thought...Could it have been ME?
In those days you just had to enter a Username and P/W to join.

33AnnaClaire
Apr 2, 2012, 8:56pm Top

In those days you just had to enter a Username and P/W to join.

See also, timspadling. The non-typoed Tim owned up to creating an alter ego by mistake.

</derail>

34fuzzi
Apr 5, 2012, 12:06pm Top

(32) Ack! I didn't mean to link to guido, but to you, guido47!

I'm just a newbie here...less than a year I think? :)

35guido47
Apr 5, 2012, 5:23pm Top

No fuzzi,

You are NOT a "newbie.

You must by now realise that it's ALL your fault!

BUT, more Cat stories and Photoes, might get you a "gold"
pass.

Err. What was the main point of this thread?

Guido. AKA as Guido47.

36Sophie236
Apr 6, 2012, 4:38am Top

Hmmm. I frequently miaow back at my cats (and I bark at dogs, too), but my most frequent Remarks to Cats are:

"All right, already, I promise I won't forget the cat food!" (Mungo and Midge tend to insist on following me halfway down the street when I'm off to the shops. V. embarrassing.)

"Stop rolling about in the middle of the road, you gormless moggy!" (Also v. embarrassing.)

"Play nice, you two ..." (when they start squabbling with each other).

"Cats don't like raw onion!" (when they get excitable just because kitchen activity is occurring).

"If you lose another collar, I'm taking it out of your pocket money!"

And the old favourites - "How's life in catland?" and "What's new, pussycat?"

38Delirium9
Apr 6, 2012, 5:12pm Top

I usually greet Gato with "¿Qué sopá?" (the Panamanian Spanish equivalent of "What's up?"), and Gatina with "¡Hola!"

They just give me weird looks. *sigh* If cats could talk back...

39millhold
Apr 9, 2012, 1:09pm Top

Don't know whether I already posted this, but when I come home in the evenings, I always ask Tiger Lilly one of the following questions:

"How was your day?"
"How's it hangin'?"
"Did you have a good day today?"

Depending upon her response, verbal or physical, out conversation progresses from there.

40gilroy
Apr 9, 2012, 1:35pm Top

(when they get excitable just because kitchen activity is occurring).

OMG! I'm at the counter, just trying to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich:

"Peanut butter doesn't come out of fur very well, Alex, so QUIT clawing my LEGS!"

41AnnaClaire
Edited: Apr 9, 2012, 5:08pm Top

>40 gilroy:
At one point last December, our kitty came into the kitchen the instant she realized I was there. And, when I left it, she looked downright offended that I hadn't made her a hot cocoa too.

42millhold
Apr 9, 2012, 5:21pm Top

When I have the fridge door open, Tiger Lilly trys to crawl inside. Since I prevent that from happening, she has to smell everything within her little nose's reach.

43MerryMary
Apr 9, 2012, 5:25pm Top

I blush to disclose that I open candy wrappers under the blankets to muffle the sound. Doesn't work.

Neither does an innocent look and a "What? What are you looking for? Nothing here for kitties."

44millhold
Apr 9, 2012, 5:29pm Top

I open candy wrappers under the blankets to muffle the sound

I gave up on that some time ago. Tiger Lilly can be in the living room, ignoring me, no matter how nicely I call to her. All I have to do is unwrap a candy, cough drop, or simply make a paper-rustling sound, and she's on top of me like a shot, trying to see if there's any thing she can get a bite of.

45AnnaClaire
Apr 11, 2012, 8:01pm Top

All I have to do is stay in the kitchen longer than it takes to throw something out.

46Delirium9
Apr 18, 2012, 10:23pm Top

Almost every morning I find myself saying something like "Kitties don't drink coffee!"
She's always up on the coffee table getting her cute little nose on my breakfast...

47MerryMary
Apr 18, 2012, 10:36pm Top

Reasoning and logic don't work. I've tried.

"Kitties don't eat chocolate."

"You do not want this package of needles."

"Kitties are not Jello eaters."

"I am not sharing my diabetic meds with you."

*sigh*

48ArmyAngel1986
Apr 19, 2012, 12:10am Top

After the jello and chocolate, maybe she thinks she needs the diabetic meds?

49AnnaClaire
Edited: Aug 20, 2012, 11:48pm Top

New one: "I am not a stepstool!"

I've been trying on and off to get our kitty to accept being brushed, as she does seem to shed a fair amount. Tonight she got the brush between both front paws and tried to double rabbit-kick it -- only she missed by a few inches. (Fortunately, her claws were in her paws, not my wrist.)

50Seanie
Aug 21, 2012, 12:21am Top

When they get a lil rough playing with me (usually my fault for instigating a wrestling session) I often say "Hey no fair, your skin is thicker than mine!"

51Mr.Durick
Aug 21, 2012, 12:37am Top

I said to my cat, "You don't know what that means, do you?"

Robert

52guido47
Aug 21, 2012, 1:40am Top

And Robert, they just look at you and say, with great disdain, nothing...

53Mr.Durick
Aug 21, 2012, 2:30am Top

My cat goes out of his way not to look at me. He came uncommonly near me this evening and looked at me when I looked at him. I asked, "What would you like?" He said nothing.

Robert

54gilroy
Aug 21, 2012, 7:47am Top

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, furball!"

Yeah, so unpleasant of a day, to get bit while trying to give my cuddle ball medicine.

55al.vick
Aug 21, 2012, 7:26pm Top

My favorites include, "What are you destroying now?" and
"I said don't eat what you find on the floor."

56guido47
Aug 21, 2012, 7:44pm Top

Err #54, gilroy,

That's why we hire Vets. Someone else to hate other than ourselves. My HIH still wouln't allow me to clip her nails 'cos
of a clumsy attempt by a "friend?" some 7 years ago.

She (human) drew blood and Lizzy didn't even complain,
BUT I have found it almost impossible to clip her nails ever since. Now it is a VET job :-(

G.

57Mr.Durick
Aug 21, 2012, 8:26pm Top

My vet and her technicians tried to pill the late, lamented Snowflake. They gave up in frustration and pain and had me do it.

Robert

58BookLizard
Aug 22, 2012, 11:48pm Top

55> My version . . .

"Stop eating filth!"

59LA12Hernandez
Aug 23, 2012, 12:25am Top

I find myself saying,"Edgar you know better than that."

60gilroy
Aug 23, 2012, 7:15am Top

#56

I'm not interested in paying for an office visit every day just so my cat can have her athsma pill.
I'd rather have the war wounds.

61Betty30554
Aug 23, 2012, 8:01am Top

"What are you two into now?" usually followed by "Don't make me come in there!"

62al.vick
Aug 23, 2012, 8:02am Top

>61 Betty30554:. Ditto on that one.

63pinkozcat
Aug 24, 2012, 11:00am Top

"You two have already broken one lamp; be reasonable and leave that one alone."

646Kastru63
Aug 24, 2012, 11:01am Top

This user has been removed as spam.

65Betty30554
Aug 24, 2012, 8:56pm Top

"Okay girls, enough of that!"

66AnnaClaire
Aug 25, 2012, 12:03am Top

>65 Betty30554:
But we don't know if 6Kastru63 is plural. We don't even know if 6Kastru63 is even female.

:-)

67Betty30554
Aug 25, 2012, 12:59am Top

That's what I often say to my two female cats.

68Betty30554
Aug 25, 2012, 1:00am Top

It had nothing to do with 6Kastru63.

69Helcura
Aug 25, 2012, 4:25am Top

My most common thing to say is "Finish what's in the bowl!" as one of my cats will use his "Oh my Bast, I'm going to starve to death in the next 15 seconds" yowl to get me to go into the kitchen. The rule is no new food until the old food is gone (he has to eat canned food or he gets urinary tract problems, so it's not a matter of just topping up the bowl).

My roommate laughs out loud when I start one of my very common conversations with a cat by saying "We've discussed this before, and I know you were listening . . . "

70streamsong
Aug 25, 2012, 9:15am Top

To a new cat who arrived with a name that doesn't quite fit. We've talked about possibilities, but haven't hit it quite right, yet.

"I wish you'd just tell us your name so we can get on with it!"

71MerryMary
Aug 25, 2012, 3:08pm Top

"But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name."

--From "The Naming of Cats" T.S. Eliot

72streamsong
Aug 25, 2012, 3:53pm Top

Exactly. Precisely.

:-)

But if she wants something interesting, she needs to get her Feline-ESP working.

73Betty30554
Aug 25, 2012, 8:04pm Top

>72 streamsong: I don't know about your cat, but I charge extra for ESP.

74nhlsecord
Edited: Aug 25, 2012, 10:17pm Top

I turned around last night and found my tomcat sitting on the kitchen table as if he's been there a great many times before, which of course he hasn't because the cats aren't allowed on the kitchen table. Right? So I, being so surprised (and I was because they aren't allowed on the table), said "What are you doing up there?" and then I stood there waiting for him to answer until I realized what I was doing. And then he got down.

I have a lot of conversations with my cats to suit their mood, especially with the old lady who can growl statements and spit comments better than any other cat I've known.

And my cats will never understand why I drink tea and coffee, but they keep trying to figure it out.

ETA Oh yes, and if it wasn't for ESP, I wouldn't be able to have any of those conversations. I talk to animals all the time. I think my husband now believes I really can ;)

75pinkozcat
Aug 25, 2012, 11:03pm Top

My female Bombay kitten has a huge vocal range which is increasing all the time. I just wish that I had an interpreter.

There are the common words which are the chatter when they see a bird and the flutter/blink for 'I love you' and my last pair of Burmese had a particular word for food but Poppy has already gone way, way beyond the common words. Mostly, I suspect that she is asking me to find her favourite toy, which she hides in places from which she can't retrieve them.

And she always lets me know when I have shut her brother in a cupboard, which happens all too often.

76LA12Hernandez
Aug 26, 2012, 6:11pm Top

My family loves the way my Bombay, Edgar, will answer me when called. He sounds like he is saying "yes?". He has specific "words" he uses when told to come, eat, stop and go to bed along with many others. My sister's 2 cats rarely speak and mostly meow when hungry. But then I talk to my cat more then she talks to hers.

77MerryMary
Aug 26, 2012, 6:27pm Top

Have you ever seen a Lassie movie, where the dog runs up to someone, darts away, comes back, darts away, looks over the shoulder to see if anyone is following, and then leads the way to the problem?

Yup. KittyMonster gets under my feet and complains until I ask her what's wrong. Then she "Lassie-s" me to the low water dish, the food dish where you can see the bottom, or whatever is upsetting her little Kitty World. I am well trained.

78nhlsecord
Aug 26, 2012, 6:59pm Top

We had a cat named Shadow who used to stand on his hind legs and bite my knee if it was raining outside both doors of the house. I kept telling him it wasn't my fault. And these days, C's arm is all scratched because Sandy wants his breakfast and C is still in bed, and I get poked by Pip if my computer is on my lap instead of her.

79al.vick
Aug 26, 2012, 10:03pm Top

Well, after Illyria spilled water on the page that I write my passwords on, she then thought she could eat it, and I found myself saying:

DO NOT EAT MOMMY'S PASSWORDS!

80BookLizard
Aug 26, 2012, 11:23pm Top

79> LOL. Maybe you should have said, "Stop putting my words in your mouth!"

81Betty30554
Aug 26, 2012, 11:46pm Top

82guido47
Aug 27, 2012, 4:24am Top

Dear MM, #77,

I was hoping that "KM", as did Lassie many times , also tell you that "Timmy is down the Well". Since a Cat is a more astute reader of character, I hope that KM also said "...drown Timmy, drown...".

Err. I was just thinking of an episode of "Buffy" where 'Spike'
discusses a "surreal" episode of some "soapy".

Lizzy discusses the level of water, the amount and freshness of the dry food, the quality of the wet food etc. etc. each and every morning after she has woken me up at 6am. But this is all done in pantomine. I have had one "tiny" meaow, in the last 9 years.

Max as a "MALE PUSSY CAT" expects everyting to be laid out . And Talks and talks and...

When he wakes up at about 4pm.

So, getting back to the main topic of this thread,

I am often flabbergasted...

Guido.

83Kastru65
Aug 27, 2012, 10:59am Top

This user has been removed as spam.

84anna_in_pdx
Aug 27, 2012, 11:31am Top

What is with all the spam our cat threads have been getting lately?

I think I have told this story before but 77 made me think of it... when I was a girl, and lived in the country, we had a mama kitty and three kittens who were all tuxes. The mama was the only one who survived long term. Her name was always "Mother Kitty" even after the kittens were but a memory. She once knocked a can of catfood off the pantry shelf, rolled it into the kitchen with her nose to where the human was standing, and stopped and looked up at the human (my mom). It was so amazing. You could practically hear her say, "OK I did all the hard work, now all you have to do is open it and give me my food."

85dkhiggin
Edited: Aug 28, 2012, 1:12pm Top

#84

That is amazing! I don't think any of my cats were that clever, but they have always come running when they hear the can opener, even though I have never fed them anything but dry food!

i did have one little girl learn to open bi-fold closet doors by pulling with her paw in the middle where the hinges are. I was fairly impressed.

86anna_in_pdx
Aug 27, 2012, 4:16pm Top

My current tabby, Belle, can open closets and can open our back door if it is not locked, because it does not latch properly. Then she can escape. However she can't open the screen door to get back in, for some reason. So once she is out, she sits there waiting for someone to let her back in. I don't know if this is smarts, or a form of idiocy.

87gilroy
Aug 28, 2012, 7:37am Top

Our cats can open doors if they aren't latched. They come running at the sound of the cabinet door opening. (I've been told to not oil the hinges. *sigh*) They opened our folding basement doors, such that I just took them off the tracks.

They haven't done the roll the can trick yet... Maybe I can teach our maugie that...

88millhold
Aug 30, 2012, 1:46pm Top

Every morning, and every evening, Tiger Lilly and I go through her tricks (6 of them) for which she gets a Greenie every time she does one right--she never misses!

The past few weeks, we've been having a discussion for the morning sessions. The alarm goes off. I roll over. There is Tiger Lilly, nose to nose with me. It scares the crap out of me.

I tell her very sternly, "Don't do that! Wait at the foot of the bed, or by my purse, where you used to wait. What's gotten in to you anyway?"

She sits there quietly for a few seconds, then pats me on the head with her paw, and does that meow/squeak thing to let me know she isn't impressed. *sigh*

89anna_in_pdx
Aug 30, 2012, 3:08pm Top

I saw this on facebook, and thought I would post it here as it may be of interest to some of our cat lovers.
http://www.care2.com/causes/scientists-proclaim-animal-and-human-consciousness-t...

90anna_in_pdx
Aug 30, 2012, 3:09pm Top

Also 88, that is so funny. My cats usually join us on the bed in the a.m. - all three of them, even though it's my son who sleeps downstairs who feeds them. Evidently it's not about food. Just waking up together and companionship.

91Betty30554
Aug 30, 2012, 5:00pm Top

>88 millhold: She's patting you on the head to say "Poor hooman.""

92Helcura
Aug 31, 2012, 4:40am Top

>87 gilroy: and previous

My last cat, Jaques, used to sit in the kitchen at night and open the cupboard doors and then let them bang shut - bam! pause bam! pause bam! It took me quite a while to learn to sleep through it. As far as I can tell, he just did it because it was fun.

93letterpress
Aug 31, 2012, 5:33am Top

>88 millhold: & 90 Gustav does exactly the same thing in the mornings. The face patting and squeaking only stops when I get up. He doesn't necessarily want to be fed or let out, it's just "I'm up and about, you should be too".

94Severn
Sep 30, 2012, 8:12pm Top

'Stop using my boobs as a springboard!!!!'

95BookLizard
Sep 30, 2012, 9:29pm Top

94> Wow, I'm amazed you can say all that. I usually only manage to say, "OW, OW, OW, OWWWWW!"

96Seanie
Sep 30, 2012, 10:41pm Top

lol, I'm often telling my guys that "I am not a wrestling mat!"

97Severn
Sep 30, 2012, 10:56pm Top

@95 - the springboarder in question is quite a little cat so the effect is less painful than what it could be I suspect...

98gilroy
Oct 1, 2012, 7:26am Top

I'm sure this is common, but as it gets colder, I had to tell my cats "My feet aren't mice!"

99guido47
Edited: Oct 1, 2012, 8:30am Top

The other day, Max (Male, Boof head) snuck a 'ratling' into the house.
Usually he presents it to me for approval. I call it his rent.

This time I almost stepped on a "half eaten ratling" in the hallway and shouted out "Finish eating your Rat, you bugger".

That did sound strange, even to me.

100dud5ers
Oct 1, 2012, 10:43am Top

"No scratching allowed". "No sneezing allowed". "No kicking allowed". I still believe she will learn rules if I repeat them often enough.

101anna_in_pdx
Oct 1, 2012, 12:59pm Top

99: LOL! My cats generally don't get much vermin as they are completely indoor, but when I lived in an apartment we did find a half eaten mouse one day. What was left were basically the hind legs and tail.

102gilroy
Oct 2, 2012, 1:20pm Top

Oh new one of late:

"I don't watch you when you use the litter box!"

103anna_in_pdx
Edited: Oct 2, 2012, 1:44pm Top

Whoops sorry for the double post. Don't know how that happened.

104anna_in_pdx
Oct 2, 2012, 1:39pm Top

102: Inorite! I am so over the cats coming in to the bathroom with me, it's so nuts.

105al.vick
Oct 2, 2012, 1:44pm Top

Yeah, I actually tell my cat I'm going to the bathroom, would he like to watch? He always follows, invitation or no.

106AnnaClaire
Oct 22, 2012, 11:28pm Top

Today: "My hair is not a toy."

107pinkozcat
Oct 23, 2012, 9:27am Top

This evening: "Don't fuss. I've got two hands; I can rub two tummies at once."

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