Carpe diem :: add 2 words to create a story :: Chapter 5
This is a continuation of the topic Carpe diem :: add 2 words to create a story :: Chapter 4.
This topic was continued by Carpe diem :: add 2 words to create a story :: Chapter 6.
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Nevertheless, the plot meandered, and Woody continued to stay alert for ghosts. Silent, spooky, pungent and ominous, they lurked within the shadows; ghost-hunters were en route to enemy sectors, so that the invisibility cloaks could be sabotaged. Woody wowed women with his wicked wit: "Ghosts aren't scary at any time I'm around!" The response from Pearoth was quite elegant, as mostly unfurnished newcomers joined the fray. PhilJackson was foremost among the Knights of Ni who say "All for nothing, and what's the use? Our quest was noble but poorly planned, alas." Replying, rolandperkins quickly absconded with most of jacqueline065's classroom, taking their most prized gear, and finger paintings. The pursuit which ensued was led by class marshals, including Ronald Trumpet and Jenni_Canuck. Both were dubiously intelligent, had opposing political views and devised complex schemes of contrasting syllabuses that contradicted each other's every algorithm; they ran into a wall that blocked the entrance to Llareggub. (Liaregubb is Klingon for "Defense Fortifi-cation".) Having no Welsh Klingons, they interpreted the inscriptions backwards and came up with a(n) different definition: 'bugger all' The chase was interrupted by new commands, given orders to give up (which wouldnʻt be followed) 'Round perdition's Corner. All the fearless demons celebrated black mass, much to their demise, as the holy crusade killed anything in its pursuit of a plot. Then, once the apparition had faded, Woody opened 'The Book of Awesome Power and Victories, reciting William Shakespeare and stalling for a chance to Get the Silver Mushroom'. Miss Piggy was frightened by this confusing turn of events and clung stubbornly to the policy ocument tattooed onto Woodyʻs buttocks. "Ouch! what are you doing!?", he shrieked, as Miss Piggy intervened with a delicate part of Woody's anatomy and didn't want to let go, he shouted, "Let me sit down a little while, and talk of cabbages and kings and stuff!" "Alright," said Miss Piggy. Woody lighted the way for us to proceed as we resumed our defenses. Every possible precaution was arranged according to Murphy's Law. So, inevitably, what could shouldn't have happened!) So all equipment went kapooie, leaving them clueless over large portions of uncharted, undefended territory. Fortunately, the onslaught proved less of a catastrophe until the sudden appearance of Duke Ellington and Gene Krupa, both carrying drums, etc., and ready to re-organize the mess. Maps were unfolded, showing restaurants, inns and other types of eating places. The overall rating was: Woody 57.5, Pelé 10, Krupa 8.7, Alice's Restaurant which is surprisingly lower-priced than Mom and Duke had paid at an earlier visited restaurant. Everyone now was hungry, so Woody shot a(n) picture of 2 warriors with popsicles. "Stay off those things; weʻll eat in few minutes!" Gene called, turning to Woody, which turned the confrontation (drum roll...) into a completely ridiculous slapstick fight with sausages. Gene, as a normally astute fighter, was totally discombobulated. Nevertheless, the Enemy was unexpectedly reinforced by haemophilic elves who mounted flimsy columns that drove to an unknown place where our sorrows and brighter memories were fabricated. The quest eventually led to secret plans of adopting kittens. Such felines were capable of auxiliary cuteness concealing their devious, yet charming, counter-plans that assured neither side would adopt a finalizing strategy. Unceasing patrols caused tension and prevented Woody from reincarnating as a penguin. "I prefer this actually, and insist on pursuing my dream of extreme transmogrification or, just wise self-interest...". Beelzebub interrupted "Listen, Son, your mother never told you about Enemy machinations but, never, either, told your grandmother that you were absolutely uncertain about Schrodinger's cat. Nevertheless, she waived the right to intervene zealously though while losers, they were more reliable than all of your slothful cousins from Earth could manage to be. Just in case they ever see you I advice, throw a torch or dirty sock their way and tell them to run, run; weʻre on fire!". Woody burst into laughter without pausing to breath. As he tried a new lollypop, his expression changed to activist and followed trends of counting flavors, several of which were strawberry. This led to a discussion comparing fruits and failures although, no disaster had happened yet. Their most disastrous day proved to show Woody how reorganization could result in chaos. The direction events took was problematic: "We're damned, if we don't manage a new method of defense." All walls were provided with posters explaining the core principles of their
defense. Most importantly, their new spike traps, the enemy had no shoes nor stockings. They were sorely creeping towards an encounter and smashing the foremost jar of Poliwag eggs, releasing a(n) aura of the mysterious foesʻ hyperbolic force field. Other considerations being such insurmountable obstacles
requiring magic seals to forever appear adjutatory and updog. The main issue remained: "What silly superstition is guiding the dwarves?" "What a question! Everyone is curious!" How would anyone think dwarves have magical trinkets that circumvent the evil foe. Other factions did use different amulets to hypnotize and seduce, but dwarves obviously know their limitations including lack of brainstorming or modern dancing. Dwarves, consequently usually resort to peculiar rituals, believing that fairies are their familiar spirits. They gather that Woody is the key member of the forces aligned against most
superstitious cults. He, therefore (snickering mischievously) ordered them to build sand castles to distract the enemy crab division from dividing into
factions whose products threatened the fragile cology of Booktown. The next day, Woody decided to reorganize the Captain's office and redecorate the
staffing. New uniforms, - medals and ephemera. Such critical task could only hinder their excitement for more clashes and most followers approved, without question, Woodyʻs ever-changing plans for offense and secret methods. One method which requires frequent practice while balancing mechanisms and juggling bottles. These led to shortage of indispensable items that Woody hadnʻt found on inspection of his trousers. His shirts were a(n) flag now, red, green: the color-mix seemed quite dazzling and She was unknown to him. Surprisingly, his socks were different: White with wild watermelon, winter wizard wands and Butterfly kisses. The main point, though, was the pink tutu that Miss Triss was using as concealment for weapons. She giggled wickedly, drawing a handgun and aiming at a hallucination which seemed to be Woodyʻs features. Luckily, she missed. Woody would have escaped anyway, since he is alert and always knows when to duck. Triss Merigold added to the concoction crushed roots and dried celandine leaves. Although, waiting was irksome, she knew the elixir would provide more impact on ongoing infections than if she just administered immediately after a clash. As expected from such a contrivance, new difficulties immediately arose. Woody and Rocky were planning a dinner to welcome the foesʻ envoys. The main course would include garlic, hatched cicadas, fried cabbages, and borscht. The cauldron boiled merrily, but unbeknownst to any visitor of average intelligence, the food, as part of elaborate intrigues, was poisoned by the boy. Of course, nobody else cared if they all got sick. The problem was resolved when Woody admitted heʻd unwittingly let the diehards, through gluttony, poison part of the food. The next thing was discussion about how permanent peace could be established. Phil immediately recommended a treaty between all factions. Most of them agreed. A(n) exception was granted to an unusual case of deaf-mute giants. All others should listen sharply to Philʻs orders as he explains the terms of agreement in the treaty. Consequent dissent was unavoidable, since Woody unfortunately mispronounced an envoyʻs name which highly offended the spokesman. "It's Bob, NOT "boob" you insensitive pseudo-leader! What are you implying!? You, treaty-breaker! Donʻt even try to topple over the even try to sabotage the plans we ʻtreatifiedʻ." He took his rubber chicken and promulgated: "I hereby suspend any and all breakers of the agreements... especially you, pseudo-leader. You never had an inkling of what treaties mean!" "Whoa there! Treaties are nice snacks, but one cannot eat paper and ink. My opinion is solid. Any body who doubts me can go write a different opinion on Boob's (or Bobʻs) petition. But quite frankly, re-writing the third paragraph which says: ʻBoth sides shall never take offense at any at any misspelling, mispronunciation of any spokesman's name.'". He was ". He was more than happy to remind them of the treatyʻs essentials, as "Boob" (not again!) turned red and shouted , "All this must stop! If you cannot do the polite thing and abide by our regulations, separate yourself from the mainstream! Leave personal rancor aside, if you can! Otherwise, stay nice and external to critical discussions!" The reply was loudly shouted forth by Woody: "Your father would have at least thought it feasible to laugh at such shenanigans! I challenge anyone to tell me what she/he would have done, if she/he had mispronounced somebody's name, meaning no harm. So..... everyone lived happily ever after, except myself who unfortunately couldnʻt find anybody who wanted a (an) ending to this cheerful story. What a bummer!" Woody decided to continue his descent into the depths of the boiling pre-treaty turmoil. A thousand and one excuses for prolonging the inevitable decline of the spokesman were considered unacceptable.
This topic was continued by Carpe diem :: add 2 words to create a story :: Chapter 6.
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