In Memory of Ellie Moses (mirrordrum)

Ellie, our mirrordrum, passed away earlier this month from a fatal infection. Joe (jnwelch) has posted more information and a picture of their meetup in Knoxville here: http://www.librarything.com/topic/258770#6084599

From the Knoxville News Sentinel, June 16, 2017:

Alice Elfin Moses

Knoxville, TN

Alice Elfin "Ellie" Moses died June 10, 2017 at home in the loving care of Janet Buckner, her partner of 40 years. Ellie was a respected and beloved teacher, academician, mentor, peer and friend and cherished life companion and partner. Plans for a memorial service at TVUUC will be announced in the coming weeks.



Ellie was a good friend to many of us 75ers. Please use this space to share memories and stories here to honor her and how she touched our lives.

Ellie had a beautiful spirit and such a lively interest in the world. She's the one (along with NarratorLady/Anne) who introduced me to Jane Gardam, and she was one of the first who reacted positively to my reviewing graphic books like Logicomix and Asterios Polyp.

She enjoyed the idea of being able to order whatever she wanted at the "book cafe" (my thread), and frequently ordered cool clean creek water from her favorite national park. We enjoyed bantering, and she took a keen interest in my posted poetry, often offering very thoughtful comments. I'm going to miss those exchanges the most of all.

My wife Debbi and I got to meet her last year at the Knoxville airport, before our flight back to Chicago. She and her partner Janet drove to meet us. She was in a wheelchair at that point, but stood for much of it. We broke out the books, of course, and spent a good bit of time talking about recent reads. It was special for all of us, and Debbi is feeling the loss of Ellie as much as I am. Janet is a sweetheart, very caring, and we're sad for her as well.



I wish we all had more time with Ellie. But I like to think of her moving freely now, healthy and balanced and unfettered by the physical glitches she endured.

Oh, no! I'm very sorry to hear about Ellie's passing. I never got the chance to meet her in person, but I enjoyed her witty comments and lively spirit. Rest In Peace, dear Ellie; we will miss but not forget you.

Ellie and I connected on several levels and, like Joe, I absolutely loved our conversations, which were always just as fun and caring as they were erudite. She was one of those rare folk who are brilliant but so humble about it that you feel completely at ease around them. She is also one of the few adults, outside of family members, who charmed Charlie right from the start. We never met in person, nevertheless she and Charlie struck up a fast friendship, and she was a big supporter of his reading (of course!), and contributed to his read-a-thon pledges in a big way. She even sent him a Reading Achievement Award that she made herself, all in Hogwarts style, afterwards, and which is hanging in a place of honor in his room. I think she would have liked the conversation I had with him this afternoon about her death, how it's sad for us, but how the best way to honor her is to remember what a lovely spirit and good friend she was.

Ah, dear sweet Ellie. I'm in tears thinking about this bright spark who I never met, never even spoke to, but with whom I had a special connection through the magical world of books. Unabashed Anglophiles, our tastes were so similar that any recommendation from Ellie sent me right to the bookstore or library. I miss her wit and her generosity. She leaves a huge hole.

So sorry to hear this! I had never talked to Ellie on either of our threads but I had seen her around other's threads. My condolences to her family and to the LTers who knew her well.

I was Ellie's "Peacock Prince". She always made me smile and filled our little part of the world here with love and warmth and good cheer. This despite often being in ill-health.
She was an indomitable spirit and I will miss her immensely.
I will cherish her memory as she was one of the people who made LT and in particular this group so magical.

I didn't interact much with Ellie, but I eavesdropped on her exchanges on several threads...she was bright and sharp. My condolences to all who were close to her. I know the sadness of losing a dear LT friend, and it is as real as it gets. Rest in peace, Ellie.

>8 laytonwoman3rd: well said, Linda, my experience with Ellie was similar to yours. Losing LT friends is tough. Sending condolences to all ...

>1 drneutron: Jim, I don't know how you feel about this, but perhaps a public message on Ellie's profile page would be appropriate for LT'ers who might have known her outside this group? Since her obit was published, I don't think it would be overstepping any privacy lines.

Thanks for creating this thread, Jim. Ellie was a dear member of our community and I am grieving her passing. She was indeed "bright and sharp" and her indomitable spirit came through her posts. She was supportive and real. I have a few PMs from her that I never deleted and I will go back and peruse them when I have time to really process.

R.I.P., our reading friend

R.I.P dear Ellie. I've been remiss lately in chatting with her given my sporadic access to LT last year and this year, but I remember her dearly and truly enjoyed many a fun exchange with her. Her passing will be sorely missed by LT and her RL loved ones. I wish her a happy journey into her new library where I know she will be given a rousing welcome.

I've been re-reading the messages Ellie and I sent each other over the years, laughing a lot. We talked about audiobooks of course and she listened to a biography of the English poet John Betjeman that I'd narrated for the National Library Service. (Last year Joe Welch posted a photo of his wife Debbi standing in front of a statue of Betjeman in London; both Ellie and I identified him immediately. I suppose if there is such a thing as Betjeman groupies, we are two.)

Anyway, one of us found this 1973 tape of a gorgeous Maggie Smith and Kenneth Williams reciting Betjeman's "Death in Leamington" to its author. Ellie adored it, especially when Maggie says "Tea! It's after five!" The only thing that would have improved it would have been if Judi Dench had shown up. Ellie was a huge fan and once sent a stern letter to Audible when they posted one of Ms. Dench's recordings and misspelled her first name, ending it with a "y" instead of the very distinctive "i". This included a mini lecture to the effect that in the British theater "to dench" is to achieve perfection. They fixed it.

Here's the poem and performance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dI8SYa8Szo

It is a strange thing to get to know someone online, but the relationships are more meaningful than people might guess. I hope our memories of her are shared with her loved-ones, and that they know how much she meant to so many here.

^I sent a link to this thread to her longtime partner, Janet.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending my sincere condolences to her family and friends.

I feel that some iridescent sparkle has gone out of the world.

I don't believe that I ever directly interacted with Ellie, but how I enjoyed her posts. Her joy and wonder and courage were contaigious. Every post made me think and reevaluate my worldview. That she retained these qualities even with her considerable physical challenges was amazing to me. I am very glad for her sake that her pain and suffering are done. I will sorely miss her presense here on LT. A rare spirit.

>17 MDGentleReader: "I feel that some iridescent sparkle has gone out of the world."

What a wonderful sentiment. And spot on when it comes to Ellie's passing.

Here's the memorial service info for Ellie, from Janet:

Alice Elfin (Ellie) Moses.
A remembrance service will be held for Ellie Sat July 15, 2017 at 10:00 am at TVUUC on Kingston Pike, Knoxville. Ellie died June 10 in her home. Those attending will have the opportunity to share thoughts and memories of her during the service.

Donations can be made to: “Doctors without Borders” https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org, “Ocean Conservancy” https://donate.oceanconservancy.org, “ Earth Justice” www.earthjustice.org, “Wildlife Conservancy” https://wildnet.org/donate or the humanitarian or environmental organization of your choice.

>19 jnwelch: Thanks for sharing that information, Joe.

>19 jnwelch: You're welcome, Linda.

I was considering going, but we're going to be with my 94 year old father in Ann Arbor next weekend. I imagine there are going to be some wonderful thoughts and memories at the service. We'll be donating in her honor.

Thanks for this Joe.

Janet said Ellie's service "came together in a way that honored Ellie's life. I have had numerous comments that the simplicity of it captured her essence, and many comments about the thoughts you and others shared about your relationship with her - it made the service so personal."

This is what Janet put together about Ellie for the service, which she said was fine to share with Ellie's LT friends.

Ellie’s Story

Alice Elfin Moses was an 8th generation Californian, born the only child to Harold and Elfin Delano Moses. Her parents met and fell in love while students at Berkeley in early 1940’s. Her fa Father was drafted into the army in 1943.

Ellie was conceived in a wood in Texas when Fa was on 24 hrs leave before shipping out to the European theater in WW II. Mr Moses having, a staunch non-violent stance and lifestyle registered as Conscientious Objector and refused to carry weapons. He was assigned as Medic and embraced the role. He was harassed thru out his deployment for his CO status by fellow soldiers until shells started falling and then all they could yell for was “Medic”. He sustained life altering injuries prior to his discharge.

During this time her Mother, Elfin, worked as a librarian and continued life alone in Calif with newborn daughter until Fa returned from the war.
Soon after his return, parents took teaching/librarian positions at Army/Navy Academy in Carlsbad Calif where they worked their entire lives. Asked once why Mr Moses chose a military academy as his life’s work as a teacher he replied; so the boys and young men could see there is a different way to live that doesn’t have to include violence.

When Ellie was 14 yrs old, her mo developed breast cancer. In the 1950-60s, treatment for that disease was in its infancy, was brutal and rarely successful. Ellie’s teenage years were filled with watching her mother suffer the treatments and her fa’s heart break every day as he struggled to save the love of his life.

At the same time, her parents provided as normal a childhood to Ellie as he could – including surfing the long boards on the Pacific outside their back door, exploring tide pools, learning and reading with her mother, camping trips in the Sonora Desert, summers at UC Davis with her uncle Luther who was developing the cling peach for canning and the modern day tractor tire.

So, it is easy to see the roots that started Ellie on her lifelong path of loving learning in every form, treasuring books and stories and living her life on her own terms.

Though she did not want to leave her increasingly ill mother, at her parents’ insistence, Ellie left for college at Berkeley. She returned home in her sophomore yr to help care for her mother who was dying.She resumed her studies at Berkeley after her MO’s death and completed her Masters and Doctorate in Social work.
Berkeley, as many institutions in the 60’s, was a source of radical change and movements. The ‘Free Speech’ movement was born on the campus of Berkeley and Ellie was front and center of activities. She began a lifetime of working for civil rights, LGBT, humanitarian, environmental causes.

Ellie accepted a faculty position at UT in the College of SW in mid-70’s.
Around same time, Janet moved to Knoxville from NC, hoping to eventually attend graduate school. A few yrs later they met, and began their 40 yr journey together. Never a more unlikely pair;
Ellie, a west coast, true child of the 60’s, ambitious people person and Janet, an Appalachian mountain woman, daughter of poor tobacco farmers.
Together, they laughed, cried, buried each other’s families, struggled and embraced the best and worst life had to offer.

In the mid-80’s, Ellie’s career was beginning to crest – she had gained tenure/promotion, chair of doctoral program, published her first book(co-authored one if not the first book on therapy with L/G focusing on dealing with day to day struggles toward a healthy life,), contracted for second book, invited to edit textbooks for Univ of Chicago press.
It was at that point, she was diagnosed with first of several debilitating, progressive illnesses that eventually ended her academic/teaching career in the early ‘90’s.
The loss was devastating to her.

She once said of herself that even if her life could not be called “an interesting one”, it certainly was an “interested one.” It was her insatiable curiosity that helped her to survive the loss of her career and cope with ever progressive illnesses.
Though basically homebound since the late 90’s, she explored and delved further into photography, art, literature, sciences, British theater and numerous other areas as best she could using the internet and books on tape.

However, it was her studies of mindfulness, compassion, loving kindness teachings and meditations thru the masters such as Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chadron that became primary to her life and the foundation that enabled her to keep reaching. The practices helped her deal with not only her illnesses but with the reality of the state of the planet, environment and humanity which she continued to work to mitigate daily in any way she could from her home bound status.

A memorial donation of many of her collected resources will be in the TVUUC library in the near future for all to borrow who are interested.

So, what would Ellie want you to remember about her?
She tried to live a life of compassion and kindness as a path to peace for herself and others.
She never gave up reaching.
She could see beauty in everything she encountered, no matter what was before her.
How could she do this? Janet says “She looked for it.”
_________________________________________________________________

Donations in Ellie's honor can be made to: “Doctors without Borders” https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org, , “Ocean Conservancy” https://donate.oceanconservancy.org, “ Earth Justice” www.earthjustice.org,
“Wildlife Conservancy” https://wildnet.org/donate or humanitarian or environmental organization of your choice.

They both loved a Mary Oliver poem, "In Blackwater Woods", and this is the excerpt from it that was shared at her service:

In Blackwater Woods (excerpt)

by Mary Oliver

Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it
go,
to let it go.

As we were visiting my dad, this is what I sent to be read at the service, which includes many of the comments made on this thread:


Like a lot of folks, I suspect, I just wasn’t ready for Ellie to leave us. We met on a website called Librarything, where book readers have fun talking about what they’re reading. We hit it off immediately, and I loved her wit and liveliness. She made many friends there who have expressed their sadness at her passing. Some of the comments by her Librarything friends about Ellie are: “She was one of those rare folk who are brilliant but so humble about it that you feel completely at ease around them. . . . the best way to honor her is to remember what a lovely spirit and good friend she was.” “We had a special connection through the magical world of books. . . . I miss her wit and her generosity. She leaves a huge hole.” “She always made me smile and filled our little part of the world here with love and warmth and good cheer. This despite often being in ill-health. She was an indomitable spirit and I will miss her immensely.” “I feel that some iridescent sparkle has gone out of the world. . . . I am very glad for her sake that her pain and suffering are done. I will sorely miss her presence.”

My wife and I were lucky enough to meet Ellie and Janet at the Knoxville airport last year. Ellie was in a wheelchair by then, but still bubbling over with ideas and that inner joy. We were both struck by her strength, as she was determined to stand for much of the visit. She gave me a collection of Neruda poetry. We exchanged hugs and kisses, already talking about meeting up the next time we were in Tennessee.

It’s hard knowing there won’t be a next time. I hope she is now enjoying peace without suffering. I imagine her in a celestial library, smiling in a comfortable chair, with plenty of time for her reading.

>23 jnwelch:, >24 jnwelch: that's beautiful, Joe. Thank you very much for sharing with us.

Ellie never failed to bring a smile to anyone she spoke with, no matter her own situation, no matter how much she was suffering. I will miss Ellie's bright spirit and playful funloving presence in a world that sorely needs both.

Really, Joe, what Laura said. There are tears in my eyes. I regret not being aware of Ellie's presence during those years when we were visiting Knoxville on a regular basis. It would have been wonderful to meet her in person.

I'm here with Laura, Richard and Linda to say thank you for posting. Misty-eyed thinking about her sweet PMs she occasionally sent me. They were always supportive and unselfish. The world is diminished without her in it.

Thanks, Joe.

Ellie, our friend, rest in peace.

Thanks, Joe, for this.

I agree that the world is a little less bright without her, but would add that it's also a better place for having known her. I'd love for that to be said of me one day, and so again there's another way in which I think wanting to be more like Ellie is the same as saying I want to be a better person.

Beautiful, Joe. Thanks for sharing this. I wish I had had the chance to meet Ellie in person

Thank you Joe for including my quotes in your tribute to Ellie. And thanks to Janet for passing along Ellie's biography. Her huge intellect and compassion for others, her love of nature and her sharp wit shone through in every message on LT. "Elfin" indeed!

I'll always treasure the long missives she sent me, a sometimes difficult physical effort for her. Rest In Peace dear friend.

Very moving to read both your posts Joe.

Thanks, Caroline, and everyone. It's tough not to have her with us, isn't it.

Happy Would Have Been 74th Birthday, Ellie!

Hope you're reading all sorts of good ones, and that the harp music is sweet.