Once Upon a Time, on The Far Side of The Island of the Blue Dolphins, there lived A Little Princess. She had great Beauty, but she was very Wicked.

One Fine Day she took a walk by The Singing Creek where the Willows Grow. There she met The Witch of Blackbird Pond, who recognized a Kindred Spirit. Together, they hatched a plan to meet After Dark and kidnap The Little Prince.

The Friday Night Knitting Club got together on Vinegar Hill to make Fried green Tomatoes at the Whistle stop Cafe for Ten Little New Yorkers.

It was On That Dark Night that those unwitting knitters, after making Three Bags Full of tomatoes for The Good Fairies of New York, met up with The Princess and the Goblin (a.k.a., The Witch Child), who were celebrating The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy (a.k.a., The Little Prince), whom they'd Kidnapped and killed.

Yep, he was Dead as a Doornail.

"Arise, Arise", he shouted. The Witches of Eastwick are coming this way. "They have Sweet Revenge in their eyes."
"I Know This Much is True,"said The Catcher in the Rye, "There will be a Rebellion on The Reef."

*Good tie-in extrajoker*

Message edited by its author, Jun 16, 2008, 1:25pm.

Strange fits of passion On Chesil Beach sent The police car to the rescue Suspicious characters in a State of denial insisted they were Sweethearts forever. Clouds of witnesses exposed another Great honeymoon disasters The last witness said The honeymoon is over.

A short one:
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the BusWhen you are engulfed in flames.

A Match to the Heart makes The English Patient seek Temporary Shelter In a Dark Wood While Rome Burns. Is Paris Burning? Nobody Knows.

What fun!

At The Hospital called Bedlam, patients were told there was no Cause for Alarm, despite the fact that The Bride Wore Black and loudly complained "I Married a Dead Man."

Dr. Zhivago decided this was a Case for Three Detectives. So he recruited Miss Pinkerton, The Professor and the Madman to solve the Murder in the Madhouse.

During the Investigation, Three Witnesses told them to look Behind the Green Door for The Thin Man with The Black Goatee.

After capturing the Rogue Male, they listened to The Murderer's Tale. "I only do Random Acts of Senseless Violence because The Devil Made Me Do It, so Build My Gallows High.

Girls the Summer Sisters were Most Likely To Die only because they were Drop Dead Gorgeous and More Than Friends.

After, The Killer Takes All it will just be a Bloody Memory.

It's different if You Were Born Rich than Think And Grow Rich.

It all started on Mad River Road up on Lost Lake. With Watching Amanda. all the while Haunting Olivia.

Some say they have Nine Lives. All they can think about is Death On The Ice.

After Dark in A Place of Hiding they had to See Jane Die in the Aftermath

The police say there is no Cause For Alarm but the girls Sleep No More.

There is a Copy Cat killer out there. They both feel Today's The Day.

These are The Rules of Wealth.

Message edited by its author, Aug 5, 2008, 12:44pm.

The Librarian from the Black Lagoon lived in The Black House. She had a Little Black Puppy and a Black Canary.

The Librarian had The Black Thumb, so she couldn't grow Colorful Gardens. Going Outside, she put on The Black Glove to pick the Black Rose, the Black Dahlia and the Black Iris.

She had read Creating Contrast with Dark Plants, so she put her Black Flowers in The Vase of Many Colors.

Message edited by its author, Aug 7, 2008, 5:41pm.

When Three Men in a Boat reached The Island of the Day Before After Dark, they saw Sweet Starfire reflected likeA Fire Upon the Deep. On the Beach they found The Girl with the Pearl Earring: a Gift From the Sea. As they dined upon Cod under The Mango Tree, she asked,"Are you Happy?"

They All Laughed... It was Love in The Land of Spices.

...until, like Little Heathens they fought over Five Quarters of the Orange and became Drunk With Love on Dandelion Wine. They soon shed The Clothes They Stood Up In and Naked, went West With the Night, Asking for Trouble.

On Saturday there will be No Time for Goodbye when the Anansi Boys land themselves in A Spot of Bother and so have to leave in The Dead of Night and eventually take up Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.

Message edited by its author, Aug 8, 2008, 1:43pm.

Storms of Controversy ensued when One Good Man expressed the Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time would be better than A Winter in Arabia. While others insisted You Can't Make Me take a Flight to the Stars.

"But Soaring Above the Problems of Life is better than than being Left Behind," he insisted. "We'll visit Black Holes, Quasars and The Universe. When Gravity Fails, we can Carve the Sky like Jovah's Angel. And what would A Trip to the Stars be without Space Cat and the Kittens? To Say Nothing Of the Dog..."

Message edited by its author, Aug 9, 2008, 5:21pm.

But the others protested, "Don't you remember the Complications from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time? Better just to Number the Stars and Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight."

"How Can You Say That when Happiness is a Warm Puppy?" he questioned. "It becomes One Lonely Night when I'm Missing my Snuggle Puppy! Perhaps I Should Have Stayed Home."

When Arthur & George met Astrid and Veronika on Cloudstreet, they were immediately faced with The Paradox of Choice.

George invited Veronika to a Naked Lunch followed by a Skinny Dip. She, being a Passionate Nomad, accepted.

"There will be Consequences" Astrid told her with Certainty. "You'll end up in The Birth House, you Poor Cow.

Meanwhile, Arthur invited Astrid to see Norman Bray in the Performance of his Life And She Was wary because she'd heard the show lasted only Nineteen Minutes and was unsure what would happen next. But she decided Arthur was The Lesser Evil and agreed. But not without first warning him: "All My Friends are Superheroes."

This All Happened in March, 1867.

Message edited by its author, Aug 27, 2008, 3:03pm.

I like this....here's another one:

The Late Hector Kipling, known as Henry to the citizens of Galveston was a Self-Made Man. He knew How to Be a Canadian, How to be Lost, and was convinced The World is Flat.

After studying Canadian Foreign Policy, he discovered As if by Accident a Map of the World.

He decided to visit the hitherto lost island of Monkey Beach where several of Hitler's Children happened to be camping.

"Don't I Know You?" asked one of those Children of the Day.

"You are obviously a Woman Without a Past" he replied, whereupon he was immediately Struck by Lightening.

Before anyone could Think or even Blink, A Keen Soldier called for help. Or, so it seemed. In reality, he was only Mouthing the Words.

And that's What Happened to Henry.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. went to The Club Dumas to meet Captain Alatriste to learn some Grave Secrets. At the Bar he ordered a Whiskey Sour while The Captain ordered Champagne for One.

The Informant asked him if he were Lucky at Cards, then proceeded to put his Cards on the Table. He had a Full House with Aces High so won the Jackpot. The Secret Agent frowned and said "I should Have Stayed Home."

Mister St. John took The Glass Highway along Whiskey River until he reached Sugartown. There he confronted Billy Gashade in his own Stamping Ground. It became a very Bloody Season as The Oklahoma Punk shot it out with the King of the Corner in the Kill Zone on Never Street.

After the smoke cleared, the American Detective arrested the Gun Man for breaking Murdock's Law, and the City of Widows mourned it's dead.

(All are titles of Loren D. Estleman's books.)

In the Company of the Courtesan, Mary, Called Magdelene met The Brothers K in Prague.

"Do You Want to Know a Secret?" asked The Lottery Winner, "or would you rather live in The Post-Birthday World, with Sweetness in the Belly.

"What do you know about The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox?" enquired Mary.

And then There Were None.

Lady Oracle paused in her telling of The Handmaid's Tale to watch The Lady of the Lake as she was Surfacing. Impatiently, The Little Princess urged her to continue the story, but then she noticed The Little Mermaid was Crossing the Water.

"Can I go Swimming with Dolphins?" asked the girl. Then ran off for Child's Play.

The Cat on my Shoulder, Dreaming of You, Seeing Things Past and Present, Watching the Weather.

Yesterday's Paper reported on The Good Fight between Little Men and Little Women. It said they all put on The Black Gloves and gave each other The Black Eyes.

Commentators chided that The Careful Use of Compliments and Morality for Beautiful Girls should have prevented Another Roadside Attraction. But Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates cheered for The Fight Club.

Finally there was A Necessary End when the Last Man Standing had The Blackout.

Shattering Glass is what resulted when I, Jennifer Government, entered The Glass Castle. Afterward, Cinderella cried As I Lay Dying. In reply, I said, Weep No More My Lady for I am Storming the Gates of Paradise.

Eaters of the Dead used The Shaman's Knife to eat The Body in the Bouillon. They were delighted to host A Feast of Crime and praised their victim for being Lovely in Her Bones. However, two guests argued over A Bone of Contention.

Later, along with A Coffin for Dimitrios, they took the Old Bones to a place Where Old Bones Lie, a place of Buried Dreams.

Bill the Galactic Hero strolled into Callahan's Crosstime Saloon , stepping up to the bar he ordered a tall cold mug of Ultimate Beer, his brew of choice here on Imperial Earth.
He was drinking and enjoying the Songs of Distant Earth on the jute box when the Postman came in and handed him a letter. "I've been carrying these Letters from a Nut for over a month waiting for you to show up.

Bill,
We need your help. The Ghost Brigades have landed on Red Mars and we will be The Doomed Planetwithout your help. Please come.
LOL,
Thuvia, maid of Mars

Bill read it twice, finished his beer and sighed. He knew he had just enough time to get to Hawksbill Station to catch King David's Spaceship to the Moon Base. And then The Day After Tomorrow he would be on his way, walking the Glory Road one more time.

He left a two solar tip on the bar for Eloise. Surprised she said "when you Coming back?"
"When The Sleeper Wakes" he replied.

Message edited by its author, Sep 7, 2008, 10:23am.

The Coroner's Lunch in Gorky Park was interrupted when Most Cunning Workmen advised him of the Death of a Macho Man. While conducting the Autopsy, he saw the Mark of the Lion, and proclaimed "Have Mercy on Us All!"

By the time he Finished with the Dead man's Bones, it was time for the Gravedigger's Party. They complained "Why do we gotta do this stuff? This is One Corpse too Many to inter in the Burial Ground."

But it was a Nice Day for a Funeral, and After the Funeral they all enjoyed Funeral Food.