Since the Christmas Season is here, I'll start off with a widely applicable question:

What should Christians wish (verbally and with cards) a non-Christian? Is it appropriate to say "merry Christmas," should Christians use the generic "happy holidays," or say nothing at all?

What a nice idea for a group! Thanks, kurtabeard. :D

Well, I use Happy Holidays, but that's only because I want to cover all the holidays - since I always leave my place of employment for 3 weeks this time of year and travel home.

In Egypt, I know that the Copts say Merry Christmas to the Muslims and the Muslims say Eid Mubarak to the Copts. I've always felt that was the right spirit—that it's about what *you* feel, not some imposition on the other. (If someone wished me a happy Chinese New Year, would I really object that I'm not Chinese?) But, like all social issues, there's no hard rule, and never should be. If I knew saying one thing or another was going to irritate someone, I certainly wouldn't. (Merry and Happy, remember?). And what one says to a client, a customer, a creditor or a fraternity brother, I have no opinon.

I'll blog a merry Christmas, and a happy Hanukkah (and New Years too, if I haven't passed out from grapes and champagne). I regret that I missed Eid, actually, which has floated back another 11 days.

I'm a Christian, and I think of myself as fairly conservative (others may disagree, or pray for a better word to use than the now-tarnished "conservative".) Nevertheless, I can't help but feel that I am enriched by witnessing or even being included in the observances of other faiths.

Depending on the context, I agree that it can be quite difficult to know what is appropriate. But to turn your question around, I am always honored when someone from another tradition greets me or otherwise includes me in their celebration.

One of the most powerful experiences I've had was a trip to Morocco during Ramadan. While my wife and I were (perhaps criminally) unaware of some of the customs surrounding Ramadan, I was humbled by the public aspects of Muslim observance coupled with real grace, kindness, and interest shown by our hosts.

We were obvious outsiders, and for those folks that engaged us in conversation, clearly American and Christian. Nevertheless, we were made to feel welcome and enthusiastically invited to the evening celebrations. What an excellent example of uncompromising faith but exceptional hospitality!

I wish my fellow Christians (myself included) could intentionally practice this kind of behavior in our own communities, where we tend to be in the majority.

--JA

Message edited by its author, Dec 15, 2006, 4:46pm.

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As a non-Christian, I don't particularly care whether someone wishes me a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" or anything else, as long as they wish me well! (And as long as they don't get all huffy if I wish them a Happy Hanukah in return.)

(P.S. Hope you don't mind a non-Christian popping in, but you're going to have to expect interlopers when you have interesting discussions like this!)

Lilothcat
I at least am more than happy to have you pop in. You will bring a good perspective for us and as a observer of the Jewish faith no doubt face some of the same ethical and moral issues with many of the same answers.

I do have one question though... Do you want/wish/mind/care/feel uncomfortable if non-Jews wish you a Happy Hanukah?

Well, first off, I'm not an observant Jew. I'm Jewish by heritage, not faith (I don't follow any particular religion).

That said, I wouldn't feel at all uncomfortable if a non-Jew wished me a "Happy Hanukah", both because, as I said before, to me the important thing is wishing one another well, and also because it is a recognition of the other person's beliefs. I wish my Christian friends a "Merry Christmas"! Why wouldn't I? I'd like them to have one. I'd like my pagan friends to enjoy their Solstice celebrations, and so forth.

I agree with andersoj, and would go further and say that I would hope that inviting others to share our celebrations and participating in theirs might alleviate some of the discord and misunderstandings among people of different faiths. I think we would find that we have more in common than we realize.

Or am I dreaming?

lilithcat:

Christians and non-Christians determined to have intelligent and respectful conversations with each other is a thing to (forgive me) thank God for.

Consider yourself enthusiastically welcomed.

--JA

lilithcat:

Christians and Jews have a particular kind of relationship, which can both enhance and complicate our ability to get along with each other. Personally, I am always enthused to learn and experience more about the Jewish experience, because I think Christians in particular have a great deal to gain from a better understanding of the Jewish tradition from which we sprang.

On the other hand, I'm always concerned that Jewish folks might be a little impatient with a Christian of such a bent, considered by some a member of a wayward sect. As a consequence, I usually wait for the Jewish side of the dialog to start the conversation, rather than be pushy...

--JA

Hi all.

I live in a town that is heavily Jewish in some neighborhoods, and very Catholic in others. What I am greeted with depends on which neighborhood I am shopping in.

I work in a municipal library, so we do have to be careful... I say "Happy Holidays." It's not good patron service to make assumptions about one's patrons. If someone speaks a more specific greeting to me, I'll respond in kind.

So far, only a few of our library's employee offices/workrooms have any kind of seasonal decoration in them. (Most of these offices are not in patron view.) My own workroom (I share with 4 others) is heavily decorated; mostly Santa/snowman/Grinch stuff, and many strands of lights, but also some angels and a Lucia doll representing the sacred, even though in a small way. (Oddly, the driving force behind this decorating mania has been our lone agnostic coworker... he is a happy fella, and sees this as a happy time of year, which probably explains it). We are waiting to hear "take it down" from management, but so far that hasn't happened, and no directives have been formally issued one way or the other.

What about others? Can you decorate your workstations? Under what restrictions?

I also work in a public library. The service counters have been decorated with lights, garland, bows, etc., from early Dec. through New Years for many years. There is also a large Holiday tree in the building. So far as we know, there have been no complaints about those. I don't know of any restrictions about decorating our personal workspaces. I, and several coworkers, have crosses in our cubicles.

We are, though, beginning to hear some complaints about closing on Easter Sunday. (We are usually open on Sunday afternoon). It's not an official holiday and some of the staff who don't celebrate and regularly work Sunday are unhappy that they have to modify their schedules that week. Plus, this year we had several written complaints from patrons about the loss of service.

Message edited by its author, Dec 15, 2006, 8:07pm.

>Christians and Jews have a particular kind of relationship, which can both enhance and complicate our ability to get along with each other.

Well said.

>I work in a municipal library, so we do have to be careful... I say "Happy Holidays." It's not good patron service to make assumptions about one's patrons. If someone speaks a more specific greeting to me, I'll respond in kind.

I guess this is where my proposal comes in. Trying to psych out the other person's religion and what they want said to them is fraught with difficulties—so much so that you might as well say nothing. But if the phrase is about *you*, then those potentially vanish.

I think I'm on the fringe here, since my idea is so backward to practice.

I'll cut to the chase...
What would you say to a coworker who doesn't celebrate holidays due to religious beliefs?

Hmm . . .

"Have a nice day"?
"Enjoy the weekend"?

I know that sounds a bit facetious, but, really, why not just say whatever you'd say to them when it's not Christmas/Hanukah/Eid/Kwanzaa?