What Necronomicon Translation Do You Prefer?

I like the Greek edition of Theodorus Philetas. I’m having my four-year old, Rolfe Jr., translate one page a day.

Yemeni Green.

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.

The couplet is incomparable in English, but truly exquisite in the original Arab dialect. My interest was sparked when we read excerpts of it in my Introduction to Theology course at the Harvard Divinity School.

The John Dee version.

You have it?!!

Well, fragments of the First and Second Books. We of course use Philetas as a bridge. But it’s useful for Penelope and Phillip to see different approaches, as well as providing a link to their sixteenth century occult studies.

I like the Good News version. I’m taking it to prayer camp, next week.

Ah, Amy . . . but we were talking about the Necronomicon—that ancient and exquisite source of wisdom and enlightenment.

You mean you weren’t talking about . . .

No, Amy. Something better. Are you listed on Facebook?

Yes. I mean, No.

Unfortunate. What, if I may ask, is your Internet address, my precocious and untainted child?

Are you my uncle playing a joke on me?

No, I mean, Yes. Would you like to meet your uncle and learn first-hand from him the teachings of the Oldest Written Source of Truth and Strength, my dear Amy?

I . . . no.

Amy, may I say just one thing?

Okay.

Cthulhu Fhtagn!

That’s IT! I’m emailing Abby!

LMFAO!!!

"Translation"? Pfft, what a bunch of posers! Learn the language, people! A little respect for other cultures! (Rolls eyes.)