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Weirdest Book Title - EVER!

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1PortiaLong
Edited: Apr 15, 2009, 10:54pm Top

I just came across the strangest title for a book I have ever seen:

If you don't invade my intimate zone or clean up my water hole, I'll breath in your face, blow on your neck, and be late for your party

By Thomas G. and Virginia L. Aylesworth

Um, What?!

Feel free to post yours.

Touchstone
If you don't invade my intimate zone

2januaryw
Apr 15, 2009, 11:40pm Top

4SJaneDoe
Edited: Apr 16, 2009, 8:30am Top

I personally love How to GoodBye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

5TLCrawford
Apr 16, 2009, 8:52am Top

Assination Vacation It is non-fiction.

6POLLYPIPS
Apr 16, 2009, 8:53am Top

If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs is a title that always makes me giggle. I spotted it one day while i was browsing on Amazon

7Sandydog1
Apr 16, 2009, 10:41am Top

I always enjoyed this great sociological work comprised of dirty preacher and farmer jokes: Pissing in the Snow and Other Ozark Folk Tales.

8PortiaLong
Apr 16, 2009, 11:56am Top

>7 Sandydog1: OH! I actually own that one Sandydog1!

9sollocks
Apr 16, 2009, 12:51pm Top

Poo Poo Make Prant Glow. I haven't read it yet, but the title simultaneously refers to manure as fertilizer, and makes fun of the way many Asians speak English. Bizarre.

10-Eva-
Apr 16, 2009, 2:27pm Top

Fpr me, it's a toss-up between Bombproof Your Horse and How to Avoid Huge Ships.

11Tid
Apr 16, 2009, 2:30pm Top

A Short History of Tractors In Ukrainian would be unremarkable for a textbook, but for a novel ... !

12careyi
Apr 16, 2009, 6:59pm Top

haha How to Avoid Huge Ships made me laugh.

13DieFledermaus
Apr 16, 2009, 10:37pm Top

I'll put in a bump for #4 - it's not just a hilarious title, it's a hilarious book. One of the women in my lab bought it as a gag gift and we couldn't stop laughing. It definitely Goodbyed our depression. It wasn't just the poorly translated and edited English or the ridiculous-sounding premise. The author had published some of his internet posts, along with all the comments. Then he had his responses to the comments, but included all the same comments, though they were just on the previous page! You could pretty much turn to a random page and find something to laugh about.

14SJaneDoe
Apr 17, 2009, 10:08am Top

>13 DieFledermaus:, So is the author really serious about his anal-constriction premise? I always wondered whether or not it was a joke.

15emaestra
Apr 17, 2009, 11:21am Top

bookoholic, yours remind me of a required text in a history class once upon a time - Nuclear War: What's in it for you?.

16refashionista
Apr 17, 2009, 11:39am Top

Flyboy Action Figure Comes With Gasmask, by Jim Munroe, which BTW is a hilarious book. :D

19DieFledermaus
Apr 18, 2009, 4:54am Top

>14 SJaneDoe: - Yes, the author is - uh - extremely enthusiastic in his support of constricting your anus and denting your navel to alleviate depression. Somehow - and I'm not sure how - that all relates to Carlos Castaneda. I think the book was published by iUniverse or another one of those pay-to-publish companies, so someone had to pay to get it out.

20Sandydog1
Apr 18, 2009, 10:56am Top

Ok, this is clearly not the weirdest, but it did just show up on the automatic Recommendations in my profile.

I'm not trying to take the suggestion You Suck, too personally.

21Tid
Apr 18, 2009, 11:09am Top

#19 "that all relates to Carlos Castaneda"

Well, I've read all the books, many times, and I can not remember any such thing! But if you have a reference...?

23defaults
Apr 18, 2009, 11:49am Top

When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win. I don't know what it is, I just ran into the title somewhere.

24MerryMary
Apr 18, 2009, 3:24pm Top

I've posted this before, but I love this title:

If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him I'd Be Out of Jail By Now.

25SugarCreekRanch
Apr 18, 2009, 3:34pm Top

10 > Bombproof Your Horse sounds like a great book! "Bombproof" is a common term for a horse that doesn't spook at surprises. But it does sound pretty funny, now that you mention it.

26drneutron
Apr 18, 2009, 3:50pm Top

My all-time favorite: The Pop-up Kama Sutra.

27Tid
Apr 18, 2009, 4:17pm Top

#26

LOL

28Tid
Edited: Apr 19, 2009, 6:45am Top

Hey, I just discovered (thanks, Google) :

Did Dinosaurs Eat Pizza? by Lenny Hort

I believe the next in the series is to be "Did Sabre-Tooth Tigers Floss Regularly?", followed by "Did Woolly Mammoths Drink Tea?".

(This is odd : Touchstone found the Dinosaur book, but it hasn't "taken" - why is that?)

29emaestra
Apr 22, 2009, 9:37pm Top

30DieFledermaus
Apr 23, 2009, 2:06am Top

#21 - I'm not exactly sure how the author related it all to Carlos Castaneda, but he was mentioned multiple times in the book - on the Amazon search, it came up 35 times. Does he have anything about getting rid of toxins or black stickiness in his books? I don't have access to How to Goodbye Depression anymore - our lab manager sent it as a gift.

31Tid
Apr 23, 2009, 8:08am Top

" Does he have anything about getting rid of toxins or black stickiness in his books?"

No, that's what puzzled me! Unless "black stickiness" is a code word for self importance lol.

33Tid
Apr 23, 2009, 11:20am Top

> 32

That second one is a humour book, no surprises there! But that first one ... a supposed academic look at cultural coprology ? Please tell me that's a spoof

34LadyN
Apr 23, 2009, 6:56pm Top

In my teen years I enjoyed Paul Zindel books. One of his is called Pardon Me, You're Stepping on my Eyeball. I loved that book...

35Moomin_Mama
Apr 23, 2009, 7:14pm Top

>6 POLLYPIPS::
Really like that one, it's funny but also a sound piece of advice :)

36DieFledermaus
Apr 24, 2009, 3:37am Top

>31 Tid: - Maybe he was comparing his struggle to get people to constrict/dent to Carlos Castaneda's struggle to....do something?

>32 bertilak: - It's certainly interesting to see the books tagged 'Shit'. Though for that first one, you wouldn't be able to tell if it was just a subject tag or what they thought of the book. There are some on the list where the tag was definitely put there as a judgment.

37POLLYPIPS
Edited: Apr 24, 2009, 5:57pm Top

>35 Moomin_Mama:
A piece of advice i'm sure a lot of us would have done well to follow in the past ;)

38VetaTorres
Apr 24, 2009, 6:58pm Top

How to Be a Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You're in the Vatican by Piers Marchant

39bertilak
Apr 27, 2009, 2:18pm Top

#33, the coprology book may have been written with a cheeky attitude but it appears to contain factual info and to refer to real research.

#38 the book on how to be Pope would be a good read for fans of Hadrian VII.

For a good spoof, see The Primal Whimper.

I almost forgot that engineering classic, A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown.

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