Weirdest Book Title - EVER!
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I just came across the strangest title for a book I have ever seen:
If you don't invade my intimate zone or clean up my water hole, I'll breath in your face, blow on your neck, and be late for your party
By Thomas G. and Virginia L. Aylesworth
Feel free to post yours.
If you don't invade my intimate zone
I personally love How to GoodBye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs is a title that always makes me giggle. I spotted it one day while i was browsing on Amazon
I always enjoyed this great sociological work comprised of dirty preacher and farmer jokes: Pissing in the Snow and Other Ozark Folk Tales.
Poo Poo Make Prant Glow. I haven't read it yet, but the title simultaneously refers to manure as fertilizer, and makes fun of the way many Asians speak English. Bizarre.
A Short History of Tractors In Ukrainian would be unremarkable for a textbook, but for a novel ... !
I'll put in a bump for #4 - it's not just a hilarious title, it's a hilarious book. One of the women in my lab bought it as a gag gift and we couldn't stop laughing. It definitely Goodbyed our depression. It wasn't just the poorly translated and edited English or the ridiculous-sounding premise. The author had published some of his internet posts, along with all the comments. Then he had his responses to the comments, but included all the same comments, though they were just on the previous page! You could pretty much turn to a random page and find something to laugh about.
>13 DieFledermaus:, So is the author really serious about his anal-constriction premise? I always wondered whether or not it was a joke.
bookoholic, yours remind me of a required text in a history class once upon a time - Nuclear War: What's in it for you?.
>14 SJaneDoe: - Yes, the author is - uh - extremely enthusiastic in his support of constricting your anus and denting your navel to alleviate depression. Somehow - and I'm not sure how - that all relates to Carlos Castaneda. I think the book was published by iUniverse or another one of those pay-to-publish companies, so someone had to pay to get it out.
Ok, this is clearly not the weirdest, but it did just show up on the automatic Recommendations in my profile.
I'm not trying to take the suggestion You Suck, too personally.
#19 "that all relates to Carlos Castaneda"
Well, I've read all the books, many times, and I can not remember any such thing! But if you have a reference...?
I'm always amused by Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby (nonfiction, by the way) and You're Not Fooling Anyone When You Take Your Laptop to a Coffee Shop.
When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win. I don't know what it is, I just ran into the title somewhere.
I've posted this before, but I love this title:
If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him I'd Be Out of Jail By Now.
10 > Bombproof Your Horse sounds like a great book! "Bombproof" is a common term for a horse that doesn't spook at surprises. But it does sound pretty funny, now that you mention it.
Hey, I just discovered (thanks, Google) :
Did Dinosaurs Eat Pizza? by Lenny Hort
I believe the next in the series is to be "Did Sabre-Tooth Tigers Floss Regularly?", followed by "Did Woolly Mammoths Drink Tea?".
(This is odd : Touchstone found the Dinosaur book, but it hasn't "taken" - why is that?)
#21 - I'm not exactly sure how the author related it all to Carlos Castaneda, but he was mentioned multiple times in the book - on the Amazon search, it came up 35 times. Does he have anything about getting rid of toxins or black stickiness in his books? I don't have access to How to Goodbye Depression anymore - our lab manager sent it as a gift.
" Does he have anything about getting rid of toxins or black stickiness in his books?"
No, that's what puzzled me! Unless "black stickiness" is a code word for self importance lol.
Two books in English named Merde:
That second one is a humour book, no surprises there! But that first one ... a supposed academic look at cultural coprology ? Please tell me that's a spoof
In my teen years I enjoyed Paul Zindel books. One of his is called Pardon Me, You're Stepping on my Eyeball. I loved that book...
Really like that one, it's funny but also a sound piece of advice :)
>31 Tid: - Maybe he was comparing his struggle to get people to constrict/dent to Carlos Castaneda's struggle to....do something?
>32 bertilak: - It's certainly interesting to see the books tagged 'Shit'. Though for that first one, you wouldn't be able to tell if it was just a subject tag or what they thought of the book. There are some on the list where the tag was definitely put there as a judgment.
A piece of advice i'm sure a lot of us would have done well to follow in the past ;)
How to Be a Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You're in the Vatican by Piers Marchant
#33, the coprology book may have been written with a cheeky attitude but it appears to contain factual info and to refer to real research.
#38 the book on how to be Pope would be a good read for fans of Hadrian VII.
For a good spoof, see The Primal Whimper.
I almost forgot that engineering classic, A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown.
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