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Beauty Queens - Audio Library Edition by…

Beauty Queens - Audio Library Edition (edition 2011)

by Libba Bray

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1,1891736,747 (3.8)92
Title:Beauty Queens - Audio Library Edition
Authors:Libba Bray
Info:Scholastic Audio Books (2011), Edition: Unabridged, Audio CD
Collections:Read - Audiobooks
Tags:young adult, audiobook, humor, satire, teen girls, beauty pageants, friendship, Libba Bray

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Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

Recently added bySharS, private library, mlomba2, Verkruissen, SetsunaMin, emewert, persnicketyfits
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Disclaimer: This review can also be found on our blog The Beautiful World of Books

There's only a few things I love with the passion of a thousand burning suns:

- Chocolate
- Books
- American Horror Story
- Cats

However there is only one person I love with the passion of a thousand burning suns:

- [a:Libba Bray|2526|Libba Bray|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1206563678p2/2526.jpg]

She's fantastic. Her writing is witty, crazy and over the top sometimes. She can spew stories like word vomit and everything she touches turns to gold. I am a huge fan and always will be until the end of time. I fell in love with [b:A Great and Terrible Beauty|3682|A Great and Terrible Beauty (Gemma Doyle, #1)|Libba Bray|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1284558475s/3682.jpg|2113193], adored the ink off [b:The Diviners|7728889|The Diviners (The Diviners, #1)|Libba Bray|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1336424966s/7728889.jpg|10501517] and cried when she sent me an autographed bookmark years ago.

(I still tear up now, but don't tell anyone!)

So when I picked up [b:Beauty Queens|9464733|Beauty Queens|Libba Bray|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1289410187s/9464733.jpg|10808145], I expected wit, humour, fanatical self-obsessed characters and to-die-for pirates.


The fifty contestants of the Miss Teen Dream pageant are, uh-oh!, stranded on a desert island after a terrible plane crash. With only a few survivors, the girls need to either fight or take flight.

We have a bunch of teenage girls used to the pampered life, of calorie counting and product devulging. These girls are used to having it their way -- of winning everything and battling other girls in crazy frenzies that would put men to shame.

When I first began reading it, I thought, "This is going to be hilarious. Silly girls with no survival instict? They're going to be torn apart!"

But here's the great thing about this book: it's so realistic, so terrifyingly real, that I cried and laughed an screamed along with the rest of them. As you're reading, you'll come to love all the characters, from Adina, the wannabe journalist who only entered the pageant to 'expose' the show, to Tiara, the adorable 'dumb' girl that makes you spit your drink everywhere when she comes out with lines like, "Uterus isn't a disease" and "It's so phallic!" to the hot pirates that crash onto the island (they're actually actors from a popular TV show that took the ship for a joyride and made a booboo) to Agent Jones and even MoMo B ChaCha, the crazy dictator who has a stuffed lemur as a loveable sidekick.

Within the perfectly printed pages of this book, you'll get acceptance, love, starvation, thirst, pain and sadness, and hilarious one liners. What they don't tell you is this:

- First love
- Transexual competitor
- Lesbian relations
- Sign language

This is why I loved the book. It started off as stereotypical but quickly evolved into something awesome. Everyday topics are challenged and friendships are forged in the most unlikely ways.

It's fun, it's funny, it's awesome! There aren't enough adjectives to describe Libba Bray's execution of finding yourself in the wilderness.

Better review to come, but READITREADITREADIT!! ( )
  Aly_Locatelli | Jan 26, 2015 |
I have mixed feelings about this book. I like the idea, a satirical look at Beauty Pageants and the messages that girls are given. The corporation slogans and products are some of the funniest lines in the book. Had to laugh at the favourite book title - I love you so much, I forgot to have a real life. But I found it way too easy to get distracted, and pausing to read the many footnotes (funny as some of them were) and sponsor messages was a little jarring. I liked the girls stories, but could have probably dealt with one or two of them on a deeper level than trying to cram all of them into one book. I can actually imagine a much abridged version of this with Lisa Simpson as Adina in a teenage dream sequence. The corporation would fit right in to Springfield. I think perhaps the satire was a little condescending, like all of it was right in your face, with footnotes to explain the jokes in case you still didn't get it. Maybe she thinks the teenagers wouldn't get it otherwise, but I think they could deal with a little more subtlety. ( )
  Karyn_Ainsworth | Dec 29, 2014 |
I took on the Completely Contemp. Challenge as a way to explore more YA contemp. writing, and I'm starting to think that contemporary isn't my thing. I loved Libba Bray's Going Bovine, but for some reason I just couldn't get into Beauty Queens. The book was by no means bad. The writing was excellent, the plot was great, the characters were diverse and quirky, all things I normally love. I just couldn't get drawn into this one. I've noticed that happening with the contemps I read of late, and as there is nothing wrong with the majority of these books, I believe it's just my personal preference leaning towards paranormal. Anyone who does like contemp. should love this, and I would definitely recommend it to that group of readers. ( )
  Kelly_Mills | Dec 13, 2014 |
This is a strange bird of a book. Listed as YA, it has strong feminist underpinnings and can be appreciated by women and reality show viewers of all ages! I chose it for my book club and some members didn't enjoy it at all. I appreciated the over-the-top humor, but my favorite parts were before the reality show pirates, The Corporation, the Sarah Palin clone and her Kim Jung Il boyfriend made their appearances on the desert island. I also thought it was too long by about 75 pages. But a big fun romp with pageant girls who grow and change and bond right before the reader's eyes in a most remarkable way. The footnotes are genius.

Also, if you are a fan of the late lamented "Lost", there are sneaky tributes scattered throughout. ( )
  froxgirl | Dec 10, 2014 |
Originally Published On My Review Blog http://www.thebookavid.blogspot.com

In "Beauty Queens" by Libba Bray, the contestants of the Miss Teen Dream Beauty Pageant fall victims to a plane crash and now have to survive alone on an island in the middle of nowhere.

I went in with the wrong expectations. Had I known that this is nothing but a very shallow satire on american consumerism and patriarchy, I would have never read it. The problem I have with this novel is that it is neither one nor the other. The topics that Bray only does as much as cut into, are definitely actual problems that need to be discussed and taken care of - but the way she deals with them just makes me want to shake my head. But first things first.

Starting with the characters. What's extremely striking about this novel is that there are so many diverse characters in this that you're basically just waiting for the next character to reveal their special snowflake status.

From deaf to transgender, to questioning sexuality, to lesbian, to feminist, to celibate, to mentally-ill, the beauty pageant contestants show every possible plot twist about their identity and/or personality. This would be great and I would be cheering usually, weren't they incorporated into a novel that was basically just written for jokes. The characters are definitely interesting and well-developed and I am sad that she didn't use them for a serious work. I thought I was dealing with a serious novel that displays serious social critique while also taking LGBTQ* issues into consideration. Wrong.

The characters in Libba Bray's novel are mainly used to show that no matter what sexuality, what ethnic background, you're a consumerist douchebag, and I, the oh-so-smart author, am going to help you fix this! Don't worry!

I know that it's a satire, I know you're supposed to shrug these kinds of novels off and say 'hey, it's just a joke' - but no. I refuse to do that because I genuinely want to know what she thought when she wrote this. Yes, corporate America is a problem, and no, it's not just them. As a non-american, I can assure you that it's not only their country that has issues, encourages superficiality and drives teen girls (and also boys) insane, trying to withstand the pressure. I don't want this to turn into an angry social justice rant, so I'm going to stop here. Onto the plot. (Characters 2/5)

Honestly, I didn't understand jackshit of what is going on in this novel. The overall development makes little to no sense, probably that's the point - but how come these two dozen girls that are forced to fight for their lives on an island, do not notice that they're not alone on there? I have never understood how the plot twist of every survival movie/novel ever is that they're not alone. Usually, the first thing a rational human being would do is explore their territory, right? Yeah, I know, satire - people are stupid, yadayadayada. But really, this just frustrates me. You can't write a novel with the premise that basically everyone is stupid and oblivious to what is going in front of their eyes and then have plot holes in your novel the size of Mount Everest. Maybe that's exactly her tactics, but with all due respect, then she needs to change it. (Plot 0/5)

I'm just angry about having wasted my time with a novel that didn't give me anything. I didn't learn anything, probably only that I should check out the genres under which a novel is listed on Goodreads first, the next time I'm buying a novel.
Educating people on feminism, LGBTQ* issues, and consumerism is important. Yes, of course. But doing this in a way that makes you feel like you're a third grader, because she explains everything over and over again just drives me up the walls. I can't even say that this should be a MG read because she cuts into rather sexual scenes (for no reason) between the beauty pageant girls and random male sidekicks (using insta-love of course).

I don't know what she was thinking, but having even heard the term feminism ever in your life, will give you the same notion. Honestly, this novel is a mess, the plot structure is horrible, and those annoying annotations drive me nuts. This would have never gotten published, had it been the first work of hers. Never. To illustrate, how stupid, superficial and annoying we all are as a collective race (or just Americans, because yeah, the US are the only country that messes up [DO YOU EVEN WATCH THE NEWS]), she inserts screen play scripts for commercials. I am not kidding. There are even profiles for her characters interrupting the story! This is even frowned upon among fanfiction writers, I just, I can't understand this. I can't get into my head what editor sat there and was thinking to himself "Yes, this is innovative. This is funny, we need to print that."
I can't, I absolutely can't. (Writing 1/5)

Overall: Do I recommend?

I recommend to stay away from this. A waste of time, of money, and sanity. I could have used my anger in more productive ways than reading this crap. Hint: If a novel blurb already says it's hilarious, it's not going to be hilarious.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ ( )
  bookavid | Nov 26, 2014 |
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Bray, LibbaNarratorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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For Barry and Josh.

And for every body trying to figure out who they really are.
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This book begins with a plane crash.
Tiara's hands flew to her mouth. "In health class, they told us there's an or in whore because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no. You've got one of those STPs now, don't you?"
Petra stared. "STP is a motor oil."
"Oh. My. Gosh. We didn't learn about that one. It must be really bad!" Tiara gestured solemnly to her crotch. "Protect the citadel. Protect the citadel."
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Book description
From bestselling, Printz Award-winning author Libba Bray comes the story of a plane of beauty pageant contestants that crashes on a desert island.Teen beauty queens. A Lost-like island. Mysteries and dangers. No access to emall. And the spirit of fierce, feral competition that lives underground in girls, a savage brutality that can only be revealed by a journey into the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Oh, the horror, the horror! Only funnier. With evening gowns. And a body count.
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When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they struggle to survive, to get along with one another, to combat the island's other diabolical occupants, and to learn their dance numbers in case they are rescued in time for the competition.… (more)

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