Hiljaiset : Introverttien manifesti (edition 2012)

Susan Cain is an introvert and she's proud of it. She's got every right to be proud of herself too, because introverts are more bookish, introspective, creative, reflective, calm, cerebral, contemplative, unassuming, sensitive, thoughtful, serious, inner-directed, gentle, generous, modest, shy, solitude-seeking, subtle, risk-averse hence making fewer mistakes, and any other ‘nice’ adjective that comes to your mind. Ah, and they also tend to be blue-eyed, blonde, lanky and thin- skinned.

If you’re an introvert, you should find Susan Cain’s book very gratifying. The problem is that you may also find it more or less meaningless. I ended up having very mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I found it interesting because it clarified certain behaviours for me, on the other hand though, I found it also seriously offputting.

For the record, I am 75% more introverted than extroverted so I am not angry because I feel slighted. I am surrounded by introverts in my daily life too, but my introverts are not models for all those characteristics mentioned above. Neither am I. We come in all shapes and sizes. I am wondering what Cain would have to say about the one who is extremely impulsive, speaks without thinking, is most certainly not careful or organized. He does live in his head though, has few friends and needs a lot of solitude. Or, another one, who is also a definite introvert yet is very outspoken and needs to talk all his feelings out? I am also married to one, and he is still completely different, but an introvert nevertheless.

What is true about all of us is that we are all high reactives. High reactivity here means reacting more than necessary to the stimuli of the environment both social and physical, and we are all the embodiments of it. High reactivity has been linked to introversion and I found this research very interesting- one of the definite upsides of the book.

There was something there though that I just found much less acceptable, and it was constant bashing of extroverts. What really stopped me in my tracks was Cain apparently trying to equate extreme extroversion with psychopathy. On page 110 in the paperback edition you will come to this statement:
‘Low-reactives (extroverts) if raised by negligent caregivers may well become bullies or juvenile delinquents. Heroes and psychopaths are two branches of the same tree’, she says in the same breath and in the next sentence.
Which maybe true enough. Yet isn’t it true enough of extreme introverts like the Unabomber as well? Never an extrovert, always very serious, introspective, bookish, self-directed and solitary. Or of Eric Harris, Columbine infamous perpetrator? You can continue in this vein and you will have no problems finding scores of introverts who foot the bill. Maybe it’s not intro- or extro-version that’s a predictor of psychopathy? Maybe it’s something else entirely like lack of compassion, for example?

In the end, there were a few more interesting things in the book- the research into both open office spaces and brainstorming and their negative co-relation with productivity are honorable mentions.

Definitely an interesting book, but just way too narcisstic. ( )

Quiet makes a great read for anyone interested in understanding the introverted among us. Speaking as an introvert, I ::really:: wish that mangers and teachers would take the time to read this book. Cain shares many interesting ideas about how to relate to us in ways that allow us to play to our strengths and bring out the best in extroverts, too! Definitely worth your time. ( )

This interesting and very readable book deals with the psychology and neurobiology of personality, and how Western society tends to prize extroverted modes of behaviour. As a very introverted person, this is something that has interested to me ever since I found what 'introverted' meant, and I think that 'Quiet' is a very good synthesis of current thinking on the topic. I even came across some new and illuminating theories, such as the the notion of 'high sensitivity'. On the downside, it was extremely US-centric, and a little repetitive at times. It also kept on conflating some qualities (e.g. 'introverted' and 'shy') without (I think) meaning to. But these are relatively minor flaws, and overall, I think it's a fantastic introduction to the topic. I'm sure it will be very helpful for people only just beginning to discover that they're introverts, especially as it lets them know that *that's nothing to be ashamed of*. I also think that extroverts who want to understand introverts would benefit from reading this book, and I'm hoping that, with books like this out there, the next generation of introverts will grow up without being ridiculed or 'othered'. ( )

I had such high expectations for this book but it was quite disappointing. Too american-centred, basically... I got a few interesting bits and pieces, but the description of the 'general world outside' was simply too different to my experience. ( )

Someone else on LibraryThing who reviewed this book made a comment about Cain's use of the word "gregarious" to typify extroverts. Indeed, she does seem to use the word a bit more frequently than one would imagine for someone who has made a point of reminding the reader that her intent is to NOT stereotype either introverts nor extroverts.

Having said that, however, I found Quiet to be an inspirational read--providing both affirmation for myself as an introvert, and a challenge to not succumb to the whims of a rather extroverted culture. I can recall feeling the guilt and shame as a child and adolescent being called "sensitive" in a derogatory manner by my mother and teachers. I was always rather shy, but not in a scared way--at least not until I became the object of ridicule and derision at school. No, I enjoy quiet and always have. But, as Cain points out, the world in which we live fails to appreciate the thoughtful and focuses more on the loud, boisterous and "gregarious" individuals. Thank Buddha for my years in Japan! I might have been the "center" at times in Miyazaki, but I learned how important quiet was and went off frequently on my own to just sit at the beach and watch the waves, or go to the shrine and wander the pathways. I have a "mask" I wear that might appear extroverted to some, but it often is in disrepair. Quiet has helped me to recognize that I can choose to be at odds with myself by wearing this mask and constantly needed to "fix it" or I can adjust my behaviors, surroundings and strategies to better allow for my more internal temperament.

I appreciated the fact that Cain herself is quite introverted and has many of the same fears as myself--public speaking, crowded rooms, lots of loud noises. Instead of being ridiculed for disliking these, I should have been nurtured and accepted--to learn to deal with them appropriately rather than being browbeat into shame and guilt for having these feelings. Ah! What can I do? I lived a different life as a child than I do now. I believe I did have "moments" in which I did realize that my differences were not horrific, and that somehow I could cling to an inner light within me that served as an anchor through the roughest times of my growing up--especially in the dysfunctional environment in which I endured. I do wonder, however, what a more nurturing, "normal" environment would have meant for me; I am who I am because of my experiences, both good and bad, so would I be the me of today without the pain of the past?

I hope that more people read this book, especially the less-than-observant extroverts in the world who always seem to shove their way to the head of the line without taking into consideration whether they deserve that position or not. Might does not mean right--if it did one of every 2 or 3 of us would not be introverts--we'd be extinct Yet, we thrive even in this loud, obnoxious culture, and perhaps for good reason. When the shit hits the fan, the extroverted non-thinkers run in circles hollering that the sky is falling while the quieter ponders consider what can be done to heal it.

Go Introverts! I'm also reading Dr. Elaine Aron's book on Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), of which I believe I belong. It goes even further in describing my personality, some of which is at the core of my being and some of which could easily have been learned as a coping mechanism for dealing with all of the insanity in my childhood. It's good to "belong" and regardless of the dichotomy that the book seems to generate (between the "gregarious" extroverts and the "thoughtful" introverts) it is sometimes necessary for the pendulum to swing a bit wide to establish balance when for so long there was none. I appreciate all the extroverts in my life, but now they can appreciate me and mine (Brian is one also). ( )