Excellent book. I recommend that all (men and women) read this, it's difficult to see how much of an effect gender relations have on us all. Socially-constructed notions of masculinity and femininity need to be changed, we are supposed to be an egalitarian society, let's live up to our name. ( )

The book's premise is that rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence are a societal issue, not just a women's issue, and that it should also be a men's issue. The second premise is that it wants to engage men as invested bystanders to the issue of violence against women.

Katz does this by specifically addressing men, by trying to make it personal by the continual reminder of the women in men's lives (mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, daughters, friends, etc), giving lots of case examples of how men are gender violence activists, and theoretical arguments on why gender violence is a societal issue and not the work of individual deviants.

I think Katz was best when it came to talking about how male culture was a deterrant against speaking out against gender violence, the problems men face when speaking out (e.g. being called pussywhipped or accused of being gay, peer pressure and male solidarity), guilt over mild to severe forms of past behavior, and how to engage male culture in activism. He used examples of his work with marines, and athletic organizations. He also touched upon some issues of how male activists are unused to women run and dominated organizations, and how that can cause tension, and also whether chivalry is helpful or at cross-purposes with anti-gender violence activism.

Some criticisms were that there were passages where the language he used was biased towards his own conclusions, and where the causal links were a little weak. I am sympathetic to his position, and there are parts where he was preaching to the choir, but I would have liked Katz to have taken the time to clarify how he got to his conclusions. This could be done either by tying in his case studies more strongly with the statistics he gave in Chapter 2, especially when he was talking about the influence of the media in gender violence. Then again, perhaps his focus was on giving a broad overview of the topic, and rebutting common counterarguments.

I do like how he addressed different aspects of the issue: how it isn't about male bashing, how race and ethnicity can play into it, who runs gender prevention presentations in schools, how a man's status within a male hierarchy influences his decisions, various strategies, how children are influenced by society, the psychology of bystanders, how gender neutrality covers up problems, even women who argue against gender violence as a societal issue, and the pros and cons of collaboration with organizations not generally known for their ant-gender violence stance.

I think this book is good for the framing of gender violence as a men's issue, and trying to engage bystanders into helping/preventing gender violence, its strategies, and overview of the subject. I'd say it was readable and engaging for someone who wasn't already familiar with the topic. I'd want to look over the theoretical arguments more carefully, and the language he used in some places. (But I'm not willing to invest the time in a reskimming the book, and it's borrowed.)

Note: Katz compares misogynistic behaviors and remarks to racist behaviors and remarks, to argue the former shouldn't be done. This only works if the audience is anti-racist, or if they recognize those behaviors or remarks as racist. For example, the equation of misogynistic jokes with racist jokes.