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Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

Guards! Guards! (original 1989; edition 2001)

by Terry Pratchett, Nigel Planer (Narrator)

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9,020102332 (4.18)357
Title:Guards! Guards!
Authors:Terry Pratchett
Other authors:Nigel Planer (Narrator)
Collections:Your library
Tags:audiobook, audible.com, Nigel Planer, fantasy, Discworld, City Watch

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Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett (1989)

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Showing 1-5 of 94 (next | show all)
This is the book that officially introduces to the Watch and it's core characters and begins to give us more insight into the workings of Lord Ventinari. The start of the story and the introductions of most of the main characters are all a bit clunky and feel forced compared to the rest of the story and future guard books, but it was easily forgivable as everything soon picks up steam and begins to flow with the usual Pratchett word play and magic.

Terry Pratchett is one of my all time favorite authors and this is one of my favorite Disworld novels and it is hard for me to be unbiased in my review, I can say that after having gone so long between readings I can be a bit more open to some of the weaknesses such as the clunky introduction for most of the main characters, it was a bit hard to look back on eventually familiar characters and see them in their more primitive state so to speak, without the polish and depth that makes them feel more real that they would quickly acquire. You could almost see Pratchett working out the kinks himself as the story progressed, which was interesting by itself.
Also the very beginning of the book felt forced and somewhat clunky but it didn't take long for the story to smooth out once all of the plot points and characters were introduced.

Beyond that this book holds up, still made me laugh, still made me want to see more of the Discworld and is still one of my favorite books in the series. ( )
  Kellswitch | Jul 21, 2014 |
This may be my favorite Pratchett so far (the fifth i think). Just too clever for his own good. Oook. ( )
  BooksForDinner | Jun 2, 2014 |
'Guards! Guards!', the eight Discworld novel focusses on the guards of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. The main character, Carrot is a human foundling who grew up with dwarves (and thinks of himself as a dwarf) and who volunteers for the City Watch. This is something nobody ever does, because the City Watch really has no function now every part of life in Ankh-Morpork, including criminal life, has been thoroughly regulated. However, there is a secret brotherhood who is planning to overthrow the Patrician in charge of Ankh-Morpork and install a puppet-king by summoning a dragon. When this plan gets out of hand, it is up to the City Watch (all four of them) to save the city.
This is another enjoyable Discworld novel, with the same absurd humor and references to our world I have come to know and love from Terry Pratchett. On the other hand, it wasn't anything more than that. So, three out of five stars. ( )
  divinenanny | Mar 16, 2014 |
I don't know if Pratchett just isn't my thing, but I didn't find this very funny. I did like Errol the small dragon, though. ( )
  thatotter | Feb 4, 2014 |
One of the better discworld novels I've read in a while. Very fun lighthearted satire. ( )
  jakegest | Dec 24, 2013 |
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» Add other authors (26 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Pratchett, Terryprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Andersen, DougCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Kirby, JoshCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Pieretti, AntonellaTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Sweet, Darrell K.Cover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No-one ever asks them if they wanted to.This book is dedicated to those fine men.
And also to Mike Harrison, Mary Gentle, Neil Gaiman and all the others who assisted with and laughed at the idea of L-space; too bad we never used Schrodinger's Paperback . . .
First words
This is where the dragons went.
"Have another drink, not-Corporal Nobby?" said Sergeant Colon unsteadily. "I do not mind if I do, not-Sgt Colon," said Nobby.

-- The joys of working undercover (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)
-"'E's fighting in there!" he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm.
- "All by himself?" said the captain.
-"No, with everyone!" shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other.

-- Making Friends and Hitting People (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)
"Right, you bastards, you're...you're geography"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)
The mortar was half-rotted, but the bars had been driven deep into the rock. Under their crusting of rust there was still plenty of iron. It was a long job, but it was something to do and required a blessed absence of thought. They couldn't take it away from him. It was a good, clean challenge; you knew if you went on chipping away, you'd win through eventually.

It was the "eventually" that was the problem. Eventually Great A'Tuin would reach the end of the universe. Eventually the stars would would go out. Eventually Nobby might have a bath, although that would probably involve a radical rethinking of the nature of Time.

He hacked at the mortar anyway, and then stopped as something small and pale fell down outside, quite slowly.

"Peanut shell?" he said.

The Librarian's face, surrounded by the inner-tube jowls of the Librarian's head, appeared upside down in the barred opening, and gave him a grin that wasn't any less terrible for being the wrong way up.


The orangutan flopped down off the wall, grabbing a couple of bars, and pulled. Muscles shunted back and forward across its barrel chest in a complex pavane of effort. The mouthful of yellow teeth gaped in silent concentration.

There were a couple of dull "thungs" as the bars gave up and broke free. The ape flung them aside and reached into the gaping hole. Then the longest arms of the Law grabbed the astonished Vimes under his shoulders and pulled him through in one movement.
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Copies of this work with the ISBNs 0575063025, 0575070714 and 3442545331 may be Graphic Novel versions. Changing the Title of your copy to reflect this may facilitate correct combination with other Graphic Novel versions of the work.
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Wikipedia in English (2)

Book description
This is where the dragons went. They lie…not dead, not asleep, but…dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key...
Haiku summary

Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0061020648, Mass Market Paperback)

Here there be dragons...and the denizens of Ankh-Morpork wish one huge firebreather would return from whence it came. Long believed extinct, a superb specimen of draco nobilis ("noble dragon" for those who don't understand italics) has appeared in Discworld's greatest city. Not only does this unwelcome visitor have a nasty habit of charbroiling everything in its path, in rather short order it is crowned King (it is a noble dragon, after all...).

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:25:47 -0400)

(see all 7 descriptions)

Here there be dragons . . . and the denizens of Ankh-Morpork wish one huge firebreather would return from whence it came. Long believed extinct, a superb specimen of draco nobilis ("noble dragon" for those who don't understand italics) has appeared in Discworld's greatest city. Not only does this unwelcome visitor have a nasty habit of charbroiling everything in its path, in rather short order it is crowned King (it is a noble dragon, after all . . .). Meanwhile, back at Unseen University, an ancient and long-forgotten volume -- The Summoning of Dragons -- is missing from the Library's shelves. To the rescue come Captain Vimes, Constable Carrot, and the rest of the Night Watch who, along with other brave citizens, risk everything, including a good roasting, to dethrone the flying monarch and restore order to Ankh-Morpork (before it's burned to a crisp). A rare tale, well done as only Terry Pratchett can.… (more)

(summary from another edition)

» see all 8 descriptions

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