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You Don't Love This Man: A Novel by Dan…
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You Don't Love This Man: A Novel (edition 2011)

by Dan DeWeese

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483527,873 (3.71)None
"You Don't Love This Man is an exquisite puzzle....Which is more gorgeous, more satisfying here, the story itself, or the language DeWeese uses to tell it?" --Mary Rechner, author of Nine Simple Patterns for Complicated Women Set in the Pacific Northwest, Dan Deweese's debut novel delivers a witty, heartfelt, and keenly observed day-in-the-life of one father of the bride, casting luminous insight into marriage, fatherhood, and bank robbery. Readers of Benjamin Kunkel, Joshua Ferris, and Kevin Wilson, as well as fans of contemporary American masters like Philip Roth and Tobias Wolff, will be enthralled by Deweese's evocative, literary exploration of an everyman protagonist's quiet struggles and tender joys on one of the most monumental days in his life.… (more)
Member:moonshineandrosefire
Title:You Don't Love This Man: A Novel
Authors:Dan DeWeese
Info:Harper Perennial (2011), Edition: First Thus, Paperback, 336 pages
Collections:To read
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You Don't Love This Man: A Novel by Dan Deweese

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I started this book with high hopes, but alas found it ponderously slow. I don't think the editors did the author any favours, it became turgid at times and I had to force myself to read the whole book, which is a pity as the basic ideas were really . As it is I would hesitate to recommend it to other readers - life is too short! ( )
  herschelian | Oct 2, 2015 |
I picked this up while browsing the library shelves, never having heard of Dan Deweese. Full of angst and the sad feeling of being sidelined (as the author writes about in featured note.) I'll definitely pick up another of his novels. ( )
  keithostertag | Oct 7, 2014 |
Paul, a middle aged manager of the bank he’s worked at since college, is at a crossroads and it’s the day before his only daughter’s wedding. His marriage to Miranda’s mother Sandra has ended in divorce and Miranda is planning to marry Grant, a successful business man who has been Paul’s friend since before Miranda was even conceived. He doesn’t feel like an equal part of his daughter’s life and isn’t convinced that she should marry Grant at all. As he’s sitting at his ex-wife’s kitchen table feeling like a useless accessory, he finds out that his bank has been robbed and his daughter is missing. Paul feels obligated to check in on work, but is worried about his daughter. He agrees to Sharon’s request to check on her. From there, his day unfolds in snatches of memories of the past and bouts of coming to terms with his current reality.

In some ways I found Paul to be a kindred spirit. There is one scene where he’s thinking about one thing while he’s working and he eventually becomes unsure of where his thoughts end and his memories of what he was doing at work begin. I can very much see myself in that situation. There are definitely times when my imagination becomes very active and things start to blend and bleed into each other. While I've never had personal experience with bank robberies, I could very easily understand Paul's growing cynicism about what is important on the day of his daughter's wedding. All along Paul’s story there were chuckles of recognition from me. I very much enjoyed Paul’s sense of humor, even when under the most stress during that fateful day.

With the exception of Paul and Catherine, his subordinate at the bank, I can't really say that I liked the rest of the characters in You Don't Love This Man that much. I truly didn't understand how Sandra became the mother she did during Miranda's teen years. Grant was never anything more than a charming but thoroughly self-centered man. His interest in Paul's appearance was more to make him an acceptable friend. Miranda is likewise selfish. In that sense, I could see how she and Grant got together. I do believe that Miranda loved Paul, which to me is her saving grace. That I didn't like those other characters is important. They all betrayed Paul and I found myself quite protective of him.

As one's children grow and you yourself begin to age, the cycle of life becomes all the more apparent. You also notice the ways in which history repeats itself. Try as you might, it's all impossible to avoid. Learning to stand up for and love yourself is the best armor you have in the fight of life. That's what You Don't Love This Man is all about. I'm not entirely convinced that all of what transpired on the day of Miranda's wedding could actually have taken place given the timeline, but it's a small issue in an otherwise interesting read. I really enjoyed it. ( )
  LiterateHousewife | Apr 17, 2011 |
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"You Don't Love This Man is an exquisite puzzle....Which is more gorgeous, more satisfying here, the story itself, or the language DeWeese uses to tell it?" --Mary Rechner, author of Nine Simple Patterns for Complicated Women Set in the Pacific Northwest, Dan Deweese's debut novel delivers a witty, heartfelt, and keenly observed day-in-the-life of one father of the bride, casting luminous insight into marriage, fatherhood, and bank robbery. Readers of Benjamin Kunkel, Joshua Ferris, and Kevin Wilson, as well as fans of contemporary American masters like Philip Roth and Tobias Wolff, will be enthralled by Deweese's evocative, literary exploration of an everyman protagonist's quiet struggles and tender joys on one of the most monumental days in his life.

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