Very wise book. Makes very convincing argument that most of our problems are due to a lack of perspective. Why should we fear our fellow human? God is the maker and has ultimate power. We should look to him for guidance, and not be swayed by peer pres ( )

Do you fear people? I'm not necessarily asking if you're afraid of them. Do you fear them? Do you control your actions based on what others have done to you, may do to you, or may think of you? Do you respond either in terror (major or minor) or great affection?

If you answered yes, you’re an idolater. "Our problem is that we need [other people] (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God)." (p. 19)

Ed Welch, in his book about the consequences of big people and a small God, has answers for you. Because the fear of man doesn’t manifest itself in the same way for everyone, Dr. Welch writes about the different symptoms we may experience. Among them, the push for self-esteem, misdirection and shame, compromise, neediness or clingy-ness, worldliness, and/or a feeling-oriented worldview vs. a faith-oriented worldview.

But, as promised, there are answers. Or, rather, there is an Answer. In a counseling seminar, Paul Tripp asked what the distinctive was of biblical counseling. He wouldn’t let us answer out loud, for which I am thankful, because I think the majority of us would have piously said, “We believe the Bible to be sufficient for all of man’s problems. There are answers there if one is willing to obey them.” Okay, yes, that’s true, but that’s not the answer Dr. Tripp was looking for. The point of counseling philosophy – secular or sacred – is to offer a diagnostic system of redemption. “Here’s your problem...here’s how the problem can be resolved/fixed/cured/healed...Please go and live in happiness now.” No, he said, the primary distinctive of biblical (nouthetic) counseling is not our system of redemption, but rather that we have a Redeemer. Dr. Welch puts it this way:

"If you have ever walked about giant redwoods, you will never be overwhelmed by the size of a dogwood tree. Or if you have been through a hurricane, a spring rain is nothing to fear. If you have been in the presence of the almighty God, everything that once controlled you suddenly has less power." (119)

The answer? Know God, and grow in the fear of Him. As we see God for who He really is, we will see ourselves (and other people) for who we all are: “someone completely dependent on Him.” We are not leaky or empty cups who need to be filled with love from other people.

"Self-serving needs are not meant to be satisfied; they are meant to be put to death...We love not because people have psychological deficits; we love because God first loved us. The image of God in us is not about psychological need..." (163)

"When the cup of psychological needs is being smashed, one of our remaining shapes is a cup. This cup is not, however, a cup that says, 'Jesus, make me happy,' or 'Jesus, make me feel better about myself.' It is a cup that simply says, 'I need Jesus.' 'I am a spiritual beggar who cannot pray, obey, or even have physical life apart from the love of Christ.' 'I am dead apart from Christ, and I need His grace every moment.' (166)

God has been good and has allowed me to grow in the fear of Him over the past year or so. I thought I had it under control. Ha. Dr. Welch compassionately reveals the depths and subtleties of our sinful motivations in relation to other people, but he doesn’t leave us hanging. He provides us with a beautiful picture of the only Answer we need: Know your God. Always be growing in your knowledge of Him. He is a redwood not among dogwoods, but among blades of grass, and when once you see Him, when once you understand that in Christ, His gaze is not one of wrath or condemnation, but of love and grace, you will realize that

"This is the gaze that transforms. It will expel the fear of man and be a blessing for all God’s people.' (239)

See my full review and others at http://www.vangorden-vm.blogspot.com ( )