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Damned by Chuck Palahniuk
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Damned (original 2011; edition 2012)

by Chuck Palahniuk

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971538,879 (3.18)17
Member:Pigletto
Title:Damned
Authors:Chuck Palahniuk
Info:Vintage (2012), Paperback, 256 pages
Collections:Your library, Read and owned
Rating:**
Tags:read in 2012, humour, fantasy

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Damned by Chuck Palahniuk (2011)

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» See also 17 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 53 (next | show all)
You know that old joke “If she’s here, then who’s running hell?” – It’s Madison Spencer, the overweight, smart-mouthed lonely child of fabulously rich and famous Hollywood parents. Not for the squeamish or easily offended, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one ( )
  memccauley6 | May 3, 2016 |
Distinctly Palahniuk. Funny and gross and wildly imaginative. Not as fantastic as his earlier works but if you've already read Choke, Diary, Lullaby, Rant, etc...then add another to the list. ( )
  mashiaraqcs | Mar 29, 2016 |
Madison Spenser, the novel's thirteen year old protagonist and daughter of movie star parents has been damned to Hell for what she believes to be an overdose on marijuana. She finds herself in a cell along with Hell's version of the 1980's Breakfast Club denizens: the cheerleader, jock, nerd, and punk rocker. After escaping from her cell, she leads the group across the Dandruff Desert and through the Valley of Used Disposable Diapers to Hell's headquarters where she obtains employment as a telephone surveyor of the living's buying habits whom she calls during meal times. The remainder of the novel entails Madison's coming of age adventures as she seeks to conquer Hell. This latest novel by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, will have you laughing out loud. ( )
  John_Warner | Jan 19, 2016 |
I thought it was good, but it could have been better 8-)
  Vinbert | Nov 22, 2015 |
I thought it was good, but it could have been better 8-)
  Vinbert | Nov 22, 2015 |
Showing 1-5 of 53 (next | show all)
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Epigraph
Dedication
First words
Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison.
Quotations
Trust me, the being-dead part is much easier than the dying part. If you can watch much television, then being dead will be a cinch. Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
No, it's not fair, but what makes earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You'll find out for yourself soon enough. It won't help the situation for you to get all upset.
Probably I woke up because someone was screaming in Hell, someone is always screaming. Anyone who's ever flown London to Sydney, seated next to or anywhere in the proximity of a fussy baby, you'll no doubt fall right into the swing of things in Hell. What with the strangers and crowding and seemingly endless hours of waiting for nothing to happen, for you Hell will feel like one long, nostalgic hit of deja vu. Especially if your in-flight movie was The English Patient. In Hell, whenever the demons announce they're going to treat everyone to a big-name Hollywood movie, don't get too excited because it's always The English Patient or, unfortunately, The Piano.
Another detail to remember about Hell ... whenever you ask why anyone is damned for all eternity, she'll tell you "jaywalking" or "carrying a black purse with brown shoes" or some such pretty nonsense. In Hell you'd be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. The same goes for earth.
Don't get me wrong. Hell isn't so dreadful, not compared to Ecology Camp, and especially not compared to junior high school. Call me jaded, but not much compares to having your legs waxed or getting your navel piercing done at a mall kiosk.
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As thirteen-year-old Madison tries to figure out how she died and ended up in Hell, she learns how to manipulate the corrupt system of demons and bodily fluids.

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