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MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a…
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MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend (edition 2011)

by Rachel Bertsche

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3322847,580 (3.45)9
Member:nicjesse
Title:MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend
Authors:Rachel Bertsche
Info:Ballantine Books (2011), Edition: Original, Paperback, 384 pages
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MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche

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Showing 1-5 of 28 (next | show all)
Four years ago I set out on a quest much like the author's - after graduation most of my friends had either moved for work or returned home and I'd been happy to be friends with my boyfriend and his pals. When we broke up, I set out to make some new connections by various means - the most successful being setting up a social group for solo gig goers to meet up and go to concerts together. Through this I've made several friends who are I hope "lifers" (as Bertsche calls them).

Therefore, when I read the description of this book I was interested and was looking forward to seeing how the author's tale compared to mine. However, what I found was a very mixed bag.

So, first of all, the good. Much I could relate to, the nerves, the excitement, the comparisons to dating, and especially her finding that people don't look at you like you're a loony when you try to befriend them but are actually receptive and welcoming. I liked the optimism and it was a timely reminder that I need to nurture the friendships I've found and make more of an effort to maintain them.

As for the bad, whilst I found the findings from scientific research interesting and some of the tips helpful, as a psychology student I found it frustrating that none of these were referenced in footnotes, which made me question their veracity.

And the ugly? What I didn't like *at all*, were the sweeping generalisations about what women are like, what men are like, the implication that women have to have female rather than male friends (unless of course gay males), and the bizarre claim that your partner cannot be your best friend!

In the end, I'm glad I stuck it out and read it all, as it's definitely made me think about my relationships and made me want to put more effort in, and as such has been valuable. On the other hand, I never found myself warming to Bartsche and on the basis of the stereotypes she espouses (which made me want to hurl the book across the room) I cannot recommend this book or say I enjoyed it. ( )
  somethingbrighter | Sep 11, 2018 |
52 friend dates. 52 maybe new friends? Maybe, maybe not. After author Rachel Bertsche moves to Chicago, she's excited to be with her boyfriend. But that means leaving behind her friends behind. How does she go about finding new ones? How does she establish new connections and bonds that she had before?
 
She decides to attend 52 friend dates with women (and one man). They meet through various venues: book clubs, work, friends of friends, etc. They do various things: lunches, drinks, classes, the book club, etc. The book is a retelling of these events and whether they became friends or not.
 
It was a fascinating idea and I was very intrigued by the concept for a long time. But as a book, it fails. It really fits better as a blog. After the first few dates I got bored reading the next person she met, and the next thing she did. It becomes very formulaic after awhile and I lost interest. The author honestly seems very shallow. To embark on a project like this requires a LOT of time, a reasonable amount of income, etc. I do not believe she has children and both she and her husband (the boyfriend she moved for) work.
 
I had hoped to get some ideas, because I feel very similarly: I have mostly outgrown or dropped friends from the past because we no longer see each other every day, do not have as much in common, can't afford to see each other (living in different US states and all) too often, etc. And honestly, I found her method quite exhausting just to read. I'm an introvert, and the idea of going on these friend dates once a week or so made me tired to think about. Not to mention how "forced" and artificial it seemed. The author writes about how some could tell she was desperate to make friends, and honestly I felt that sentiment permeated the entire book, even if the writing didn't necessarily get that across to the reader.
 
This should have better remained a blog vs. becoming an actual book. I came to this book after her more recent work was published in 2014. I had that on my wish list of books to read and now I think I'll be taking that off.
 
Don't recommend it. Skim it if you're curious but it becomes tedious after awhile and I didn't think there really was much useful information (unless you really do have the time, money and inclination to say yes to every invitation that comes your way). This may be something that would work for some people, but for most of us it's not really practical. ( )
  acciolibros | Feb 11, 2018 |
Ms. Bertsche hits the premise of the book spot on - after college, if you don't work at a company with lots of people and don't have kids, it is hard to meet people. I loved how she put herself out there and grew through the process. I was challenged in the way the book was laid out and edited. It got confusing at times and seemed like one big run on sentence/paragraph/chapter. ( )
  sunnydrk | Sep 8, 2016 |
It's hard to make friends as an adult. How would you go about it? One woman decides to go on one friend date a week to see if she can find her BFF.

A good read. But I was exhausted just reading about how gung ho she went into trying to find a friend. Let alone actually doing it the way she did. ( )
  bookwormteri | May 7, 2015 |
Enjoyed reading this, and wished it didn't end. I'm so curious to know what kind of impression I leave with people I first meet, also made me think about all my friends and whether I am a good friend to others.
  deadgirl | Apr 15, 2015 |
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For Matthew and in Mormory of my Father, Bill Bertsche
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I've known my two best friends since I was 10 and 14.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0345524942, Paperback)

When Rachel Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she’s thrilled to finally share a zip code, let alone an apartment, with her boyfriend. But shortly after getting married, Bertsche realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. Sure, she has plenty of BFFs—in New York and San Francisco and Boston and Washington, D.C. Still, in her adopted hometown, there’s no one to call at the last minute for girl talk over brunch or a reality-TV marathon over a bottle of wine. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: She’ll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.

In her thought-provoking, uproarious memoir, Bertsche blends the story of her girl-dates (whom she meets everywhere from improv class to friend rental websites) with the latest social research to examine how difficult—and hilariously awkward—it is to make new friends as an adult. In a time when women will happily announce they need a man but are embarrassed to admit they need a BFF, Bertsche uncovers the reality that no matter how great your love life is, you’ve gotta have friends.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:23:16 -0400)

When Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. She goes on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.

(summary from another edition)

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