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MWF seeking BFF : my yearlong search for a…
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MWF seeking BFF : my yearlong search for a new best friend (edition 2011)

by Rachel Bertsche (Author)

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220None53,572 (3.6)6
Member:tjsjohanna
Title:MWF seeking BFF : my yearlong search for a new best friend
Authors:Rachel Bertsche (Author)
Info:New York : Ballantine Trade Paperbacks, 2011.
Collections:Read but unowned, Non-Fiction, Favorites
Rating:****
Tags:g:memoir, friendship, making friends

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MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche

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» See also 6 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 23 (next | show all)
Too analytical; not enough story and heart. ( )
  cherilove | Feb 25, 2014 |
I tried, I really wanted to like this, but I bailed after 64 pages. It had promise, but there's no flow. Dates merge into discussion of random articles. I hope she found her BFF, but I think she was trying too hard. Probably worked well as a blog in small bites, but not a full length book. ( )
  skinglist | Jul 16, 2013 |
This book really did elaborate on 52 friend dates, but it was much less boring than it sounds. I learned a few things and was reminded quite a few times to be more outgoing and friendly because people will most likely be receptive. ( )
  heike6 | May 2, 2013 |
Similar to The Happiness Project in that the book chronicles the story of the author's year-long project (to make friends in a new city - specifically to go on 52 "friend-dates" in one year). There is research about friendship woven through it, but Bertsche's personality and voice are much less regimented and academic than Rubin's (she's less obsessed with "gold stars"). Overall it was an engaging and interesting read - I'd definitely recommend it for anyone who's on their "second city" (the second move after college), or is just looking to make friends.

The unfortunate truth is that we live in a society that's not only suspicious of people who declare they're looking for friends, but thinks friendliness in general must be qualified. (93)

Sociologist Ray Pahl, author of On Friendship, calls these kinds of friends - the ones that you may not see for years but with whom you can always pick up where you left off - "fossil friends." (217)

"Friendship is consistent, mutual, shared, positive emotion" -Paul Dobransky, The Power of Female Friendship.

...research shows that emotional closeness between friends declines by about 15 percent a year in the absence of face-to-face contact (242).

[The theory of] triadic closure...says one's friends will find it easy to become friends with each other. (244)

"Here's my idea of real intimacy. It's not the person who calls to say, 'I'm having an affair'; it's the friend who calls to say, 'Why do I have four jars of pickles in my refrigerator?'" -Ann Patchett (258)

No one I met this year will have known me before my father died or before I met Matt. Who I was then is so important to who I am now that it's hard to imagine anyone can ever know me as completely as my [life-long friends] do....No matter how hard I try, I can never recapture my 16-year-old self with someone who wasn't around to meet her. (313) ( )
  JennyArch | Apr 3, 2013 |
Wow, this cropped up in my life at the perfect time. Reading this with a friend helped drive the point home that this is a common issue that girls around the country are having, not just me, not just her. Seriously, I had to put this book down at parts and just, take a breather. I find as I get older that I am looking for lasting friendships based on commonalities, and not just tons of "buddies" to fill seats at my birthday get-together. Quality over quantity is my new motto, and I'll start putting myself out there more. Bertsche clearly did her research; even though the majority of the book is personal stories and situations, she has an extensive bibliography from which she peppers the chapters with. Very interesting, 4.5 stars for sure. ( )
  aelizabethj | Apr 1, 2013 |
Showing 1-5 of 23 (next | show all)
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For Matthew and in Mormory of my Father, Bill Bertsche
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I've known my two best friends since I was 10 and 14.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0345524942, Paperback)

When Rachel Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she’s thrilled to finally share a zip code, let alone an apartment, with her boyfriend. But shortly after getting married, Bertsche realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. Sure, she has plenty of BFFs—in New York and San Francisco and Boston and Washington, D.C. Still, in her adopted hometown, there’s no one to call at the last minute for girl talk over brunch or a reality-TV marathon over a bottle of wine. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: She’ll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.

In her thought-provoking, uproarious memoir, Bertsche blends the story of her girl-dates (whom she meets everywhere from improv class to friend rental websites) with the latest social research to examine how difficult—and hilariously awkward—it is to make new friends as an adult. In a time when women will happily announce they need a man but are embarrassed to admit they need a BFF, Bertsche uncovers the reality that no matter how great your love life is, you’ve gotta have friends.

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:00:35 -0400)

When Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. She goes on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.

(summary from another edition)

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