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Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain (edition 2012)

by A. Lee Martinez

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1801365,840 (3.86)2
Member:Rand1956
Title:Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain
Authors:A. Lee Martinez
Info:Orbit (2012), Edition: 1, Hardcover, 304 pages
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Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain by A. Lee Martinez

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ORIGINALLY POSTED AT Fantasy Literature.

Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That??s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even developed a soft spot (or should I say ƒ??softer spotƒ?) for planet Earth, though heƒ??ll be quick to tell you that heƒ??s not reformed ƒ?? just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earthƒ??s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far heƒ??s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.

Unfortunately, most of Emperor Molluskƒ??s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperorƒ??s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination.

Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinezƒ??s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. Iƒ??m rather picky about humorous fantasy so Iƒ??m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinezƒ??s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we canƒ??t help but love, even though heƒ??s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us heƒ??s an evil overlord.

Fans of Douglas Adamsƒ?? THE HITCHHIKERƒ??S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldnƒ??t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time Iƒ??d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance ƒ?? he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future. ( )
  Kat_Hooper | Apr 6, 2014 |
The ex-conqueror of Earth, super genius Emperor Mollusk, comes out of retirement to defend his helpless subjects from the threat of villain just as brilliant and squishy as himself. Fans of John Scalzi or Douglas Adams will appreciate the genre-lampooning humor of this story, with it’s character archetypes, deus ex machina tropes, and send-ups of classic 1950’s pulp SF monster rouge’s gallery. In a truly brilliant twist, the narrating first-person protagonist is the ultimate villain, strangely relatable as a bored guy who just wants to move on to the next great challenge in life. While the narrative structure gets to be a little repetitive- basically a series of location-hopping quests designed to introduce odder and odder settings and characters, but without meaningfully advancing the plot, I still appreciated every word if only for the fantastic dialog. And although the pacing did become a bit predictable, the action was quite fun, and includes something for everyone: Lizard men aliens, time-travel, rock men aliens, mutated dinosaurs, city-ravaging monsters and robots, Atlantis, history re-interpreted, and more. ( )
  SciFi-Kindle | Mar 19, 2014 |
This is the kind of book that will appeal to the kind of people who love "Girl Genius." It makes only token efforts to make sense outside its own context. The universe if full of amazingly diverse species, including at least one on each planet of our solar system. The ancient mystic kingdoms and underground/undersea empires are all there. And earth has been captured by an evil warlord from Neptune, who happens to be a giant mollusk who rides around in a robot mecha suit. Why not?

The plot heaps episode on episode, running from one crazy adventure to the next. Mollusk has become fond of the Terrans he rules, and bored by his life of luxury. He decides to retire, and his boredom is a thing of the past! An arrest warrant relating to a failed attempt to take over Venus, time-travelers from the future of Earth, crazed assassins - it's all here. Can Mollusk sort it all out?

Highly recommended entertainment. I'm hoping there's a sequel in the works somewhere.

I listened to the audiobook of this, which was very well done. Kudos to the reader, Scott Aiello. ( )
  teckelvik | Mar 15, 2014 |
This book was awesome. And no one compensated me to say that. It's funny and allows you to root for the bad guy. It's similar to the movie "Megamind" except Emperoer Mollusk is a much better evil genius. For one thing he actually DID conquer the Earth (bloodlessly no less) and unlike Megamind, Dr. Evil, Lex Luthor, etc. he might be brilliant and arrogant but he never lets that blind him. He wouldn't be the type to let the hero linger so he could escape and save the day. But has he met his match in "the Brain" terrorizing Earth?

For fans of real old-time sci-fi like John Carter or Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers this would be a treat because it takes place in that kind of universe where every planet in the Solar System (and even the moon) has its own alien race. (The eponymous Mollusk is actually from Neptune.) There aren't any attempts to explain the science behind any of this or the various death rays, flying saucers, giant robots, or time radios in the plot. It's completely preposterous but the author knows that and allows the plot to revel in it by piling on one crazy thing after another until the very end. Unlike many other humorous books this doesn't linger too long either, which makes for a quick, enjoyable read.

If there's any criticism I have, it's that the "inside man" was far too easy to figure out. Maybe I'm just a Neptunian genius like Mollusk.

That is all. ( )
  ptdilloway | Nov 21, 2013 |
A review of the Audiobook edition.
Very campy book set in our solar system but as if we had life on every planet. Main protagonist, Emperor/Warlord Mollusk is like an evil version of Dr Who. Though he conquerers earth without ever having to fire a weapon (or often mentioned death ray) he ends up loving Terrabs and defending them and the planet from various forms of attack, including invading Saturnites. The plot has him trying to foil continuing attacks on his life, while under protective custody of a vengeful Venusian, trying to bring Mollusk to face a trial for previous crimes. I enjoyed it more then I thought I would, but took awhile to get used to. The narrator was excellent, but some words were pronounced with a very posh accent. The characters were very distinct and well performed though. ( )
  wifilibrarian | Sep 17, 2013 |
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Dedication
To all the usual folks: Mom, Sally, Nik, Russell, the

DFWWW, my agent, my editor, Orbit Books, the

people who buy the books, Optimus Prime, and the

rest. You're still just as important as you ever were and

this is a lot easier because of you.

To Atomic Robo, for keeping my love of comic books

alive and well.

And to Victor Von Doom.
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There's no sound in space, but my saucer cannons simulated a shriek with every blast.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Book description
Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything.

With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or... well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes.

But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of the Sinister Brain!

Haiku summary

Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0316093521, Hardcover)

Emperor Mollusk.

Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth.

Not bad for a guy without a spine.

But what's a villain to do after he's done . . . everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel alien invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course.

Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or . . . well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes. But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of THE SINISTER BRAIN!

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:36:33 -0400)

(see all 2 descriptions)

Emperor Mollusk, ex-warlord of Earth, comes out of retirement to save the planet from the sinister brain's control.

(summary from another edition)

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Orbit Books

Two editions of this book were published by Orbit Books.

Editions: 0316093521, 031609353X

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