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When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your…

When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family

by Andy Stanley

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Andy Stanley did it again. Thought provoking, inspirational, and a goto book on how to juggle it all and still be number one to your family. ( )
  Gina.Wilson | Jun 9, 2013 |
Learning to Cheat – The Right Way
When Work and Family Collide (Keeping your job from cheating your family)

Who would have thought that Andy Stanley would be the one to encourage you to cheat. Well, not really cheat, but to figure out who you would rather cheat – your job or your family. “It's time to prioritize some things and slight others.” The working class today are stretched beyond the limit. Every part of your day is demanding time - meetings, late nights, conference calls and traveling away from home. Those that are dedicated to the job, may not be dedicated to their family. Even those with the best intentions of working hard “for their family” end up sacrificing more than they can afford when their family doesn't feel valued anymore.

Andy discusses real people that have been there, that have destroyed their family by choosing work over quality time at home. Executives that thought they were doing everything they could for their family, were surprised to realize their spouse and children just wanted them home for dinner. What are the warning signs that your spouse or family are feeling cheated? This book will help you find out.

Don't worry – quitting your job is not an option, nor is getting fired. Andy walks you through, step by step, to find a balance between home and work. Andy says our biggest obstacle is trusting in God. He says, “When you surrender your will to the will of the Father, He takes responsibility for the outcome of the journey.” Using the bible, Andy explains that even the mighty Daniel was caught between two parties that wanted separate things from him. Did he bend to the will of a visible king or did he trust in an invisible King - God - and stand for what he believed in? Andy has a special way of drawing you into the story, so as you're standing next to Daniel in the midst of his crisis, which gives you hope in handling your own.

In the process of teaching you how to manage your time between home and work, this book just may transform your life. It also includes a four-week discussion guide – perfect for small groups and friends to go through together.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

Order this book from your local bookstore or www.amazon.com. ( )
  SonyaTyler | May 12, 2012 |
- I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. –

Struggling to find a balance between work and family is a difficult position to be in, regardless of whether you're white collar or blue collar (or even a stay at home/work at home parent), and with a husband who works third shift I was intensely interested in some help with finding the kind of balance the author speaks of in this book.

We are told, on page three, that this book "is about establishing priorities. A priority is something you put ahead of something else. A priority is something you say yes to even when it means saying no to other important things." The goal, then, is to not let work cheat your family by becoming a higher priority.

One part of the book I deeply appreciated was the comparison to the emotional load one feels when one feels, well, cheated, to having to hold onto a heavy rock all by oneself, as well as the idea of the exhaustion factor - the feeling as though you just can't hold on any longer to this heavy burden you've been left to carry all on your own. This doesn't have to refer simply to the ability to stay in the relationship - at least while I was reading the chapter it really hit home in a different way. There's no way I can imagine not being able to hold on to my husband, but I can relate to the exhaustion of holding on to other emotional strains and burdens while trying to make our relationship work, and just feeling like I can't take it anymore, wanting to beg my husband to find another way to prioritize and organize our life together because the load feels too heavy, like I'm carrying it on my own because of the way he works (and sleeps, because of being on third shift) makes him so unavailable when it comes to the way I need for our family to function. I guess I'm just trying to say that I understand feeling "cheated...."

Anyway, the first section of this book relates to looking into relationships that have been tested because of feeling "cheated" - the emotions and struggles of the person feeling cheated, the way it can come between people, the need to be aware of the "vital signs" of the relationship and family....And then the second section pertains to coming up with a "strategy for change" - making up your mind in terms of priorities, making a plan to try to do better, testing the plan, etc, etc.

It's a short, quick read - I read it in one sitting, though there are discussion questions in the back of the book set up so that people can read it in a four week "course." I felt that this book did well to show both sides of the coin - how difficult it is to be both the person feeling "cheated" and the person doing the "cheating", and I would recommend it to anyone striving for more balance in their life, or anyone who feels as though their spouse should.

I'll bring this review to a close with the quote I feel most sums up this book:

"Don't cheat the people who love you most. Don't cheat the person who's looking forward to spending the rest of his or her life with you. Don't cheat yourself of the peace that comes with knowing you're squarely in the will of the One who created you. Don't cheat your kids of the security that comes with knowing that they're Mommy and Daddy's priorities." (page 132) ( )
  xianuni7286 | Apr 13, 2012 |
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