Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

I’m laughing as much as I was when I read the original Fifty Shades.

Actually, strike that. I’m laughing more.

Quite sensibly, I began reading Fifty Shames of Earl Grey when I was by myself, flying to Chicago. And I proceeded to laugh out loud — and gain some puzzled looks — as I read. But how to explain the jokes in Fifty Shames? I didn’t attempt it then, because I didn’t want to get kicked off the plane for being a pervert.

It’s a delight to read. I still think of lines from the book and snicker to myself during a quiet moment at work, or while I’m walking home. Who but Fanny Merkin could put together jabs at Twilight, Fifty Shades, bronies, tea, and tech (mini-disc player, anyone)?

Even if you haven’t read E.L. James’ Fifty Shades (or the entire trilogy), you should still read Fifty Shames. It’s better, it’s funnier, and you’ll want more when you’re done. ( )

*Copy received via Netgalley on July 3rd 2012*

This and other reviews can be found on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews

I read the first couple of chapters when they were on Shaffer's blog, and I found the writing to be hilarious!

This whole book is fan-fricking-tastic. The snark goes from win to win, and I couldn't read more than a few sentences at a time without laughing (sometimes, it was every single sentence).

( )

This story was brought to you by the letters F, M and the number 5 ..... 5 stars!

If this book were to be made into a movie, it would be brought to us by the makers of The Naked Gun, Hot Shots and Airplane.

Whether you've read the stories responsible for the FSoG hype, Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe Twilight, this parody is hysterical in it's delivery. Bella's Ana's Lip biting and blushing had nothing on Anna's nose picking, smelly feet and untamed jungle. The steady stream of pop culture references from the 80s to the present will leave you howling with laughter. The most memorable and laugh-out-loud moment had to be the taking of Anna's virginity. Don't worry, the author didn't forget about the most controversial moment in the book – tampons will be involved. The book cover is also wickedly clever, once you get over the "shock" of noticing the "tea bagging".

Earl Grey is a hot geek and a billionaire CEO. His darkest secret isn't being fifty shades of f*ed up, but his list of fifty (hilarious) shames. At the top of the list is BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick) that he dabbles in with female LARPs (live action role players). Our virginal ditz, Anna is sent in her friend's stead to conduct an interview with him for an article in Boardroom Hotties. They meet, sparks fly, and Mr. Grey will resort to buying up every obstacle in his path to lay claim to Anna. From then on, this book is a hilariously perverted journey. So jump on the bandwagon and prepare to have your mind spleen blown.

P.S. Common courtesy dictates giving credit where credit is due, so there's a nice dedication at the end. Nicely done, Fanny Merkin!

Thank you Perseus Book Groups and Da Capo Press via NetGalley for the ARC

Disclaimer: A review in exchange for the ARC was not promised. The views and opinions expressed in this review are my own, and in no way represent the views or opinions of the publisher/distributor. ( )

There's a sequel in the works, [b:Fifty Shames In Space|15722168|Fifty Shames In Space|Andrew Shaffer|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nocover/60x80.png|21396038], and I'm not sure what the point would be because this book was kind of a one joke wonder.

That's not to say it wasn't funny, it was. And there were plenty of pop culture and nerdy references to keep me entertained. But there was a lot of the same thing. Which may have been the point but it did get tedious after awhile. I only finished to say I did.

I haven't read [b:Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1300842729s/10818853.jpg|15732562] nor have I been able to read more than a future chapters of Twilight (I tried, really I did) so I not sure how much was mediocre writing and how much was playing on the mediocre writing of those two books.

In fact, reading this made me really curious about Fifty Shades because if each of the events in this book is making fun of a scene in that book, I can't even imagine how it got published let alone became popular. It sounds ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous from the fact that Anna rides her bike from Portland to Seattle in 3.5 hours (that's about how long it takes to drive the route) to Earl buying a state university so Anna doesn't have to do work and still graduate with honors, to a ride in a helicopter to a place that is right across the street from where they were picked up.

First of all, Anna is a naive idiot. She believes everything Grey says and always with joy and wonder. She doesn't question anything. Grey has a beyond-extravagant lifestyle, at one point draining the Pacific Ocean to rescue a car that has been submerged.

There were plenty of references to the characters in Twilight and the similarities between them and the characters in this book. Anna is constantly getting confused like in the opening scene where she is looking in the mirror and then realizes she's looking at a poster of Kristen Stewart. Grey's skin seems to sparkle in the sunlight. He doesn't mind and actually enjoys her menstrual blood.

Oddly, there is almost no BDSM in this book. The extent is one scene where her wrists are tied to one bedpost during sex and one place where he's spanking her and she's laughing. Only her sides hurt and it's from laughing..

Anna is very complacent about all of the sex and even thinks it's mild despite being a virgin who has never even touched herself sexually let alone masturbated. The weirdness comes from where they have sex, not what they do. It's very vanilla sex. I've heard 50 Shades is mild but if it's this bad, I have no idea why people think it's at all titillating.

There are constant fake references to sex, "There's a word starting with F I want to do with you" which turns out to be something innocuous but she's disappointed because she thought it was going to be another word starting with F that was also innocuous. When they do have sex, all body parts are referred to with euphemisms like "party favors" and a "Katy Perry."

The side references are fun for nerds such as Grey LARPing during sex and rolling a 20 sided die to determine how much to spank her. Other Seattle references abound like going to Eddie Vedder's house and constant references to Starbucks.

At the end, not only is there a silly index but also a list of Grey's Shames. Some are quite funny. There are only a handful of BDSM entries, though, which makes sense given the bland nature of the sex here. Other's are things like "Team Jacob" (#26), "Shopping at Walmart on Saturdays" (#1), "16 and Pregnant" (#48), and "Nickelback" (#23).*

Basically this is a funny light read but don't expect too much. Certainly don't go looking for funny BDSM scenes as you'll be disappointed.



*Why does everyone dog on Nickelback? I mostly listen to alternative and pseudo punk music like Muse, Rise Against, Death Cab for Cutie, Silversun Pickups, Awolnation, Modest Mouse, The Shins, etc. and I don't think Nickelback is bad. They're certainly no worse than half the crap on the Pop music charts. It's a band I don't mind that my kids love so we listen to it. I guess I have a shame, although I'm not ashamed of it. Obviously someone likes them because they keep selling albums but why does everybody still claim to hate them? I thought Rockstar was quite funny. ( )

There's a sequel in the works, [b:Fifty Shames In Space|15722168|Fifty Shames In Space|Andrew Shaffer|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nocover/60x80.png|21396038], and I'm not sure what the point would be because this book was kind of a one joke wonder.

That's not to say it wasn't funny, it was. And there were plenty of pop culture and nerdy references to keep me entertained. But there was a lot of the same thing. Which may have been the point but it did get tedious after awhile. I only finished to say I did.

I haven't read [b:Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1300842729s/10818853.jpg|15732562] nor have I been able to read more than a future chapters of Twilight (I tried, really I did) so I not sure how much was mediocre writing and how much was playing on the mediocre writing of those two books.

In fact, reading this made me really curious about Fifty Shades because if each of the events in this book is making fun of a scene in that book, I can't even imagine how it got published let alone became popular. It sounds ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous from the fact that Anna rides her bike from Portland to Seattle in 3.5 hours (that's about how long it takes to drive the route) to Earl buying a state university so Anna doesn't have to do work and still graduate with honors, to a ride in a helicopter to a place that is right across the street from where they were picked up.

First of all, Anna is a naive idiot. She believes everything Grey says and always with joy and wonder. She doesn't question anything. Grey has a beyond-extravagant lifestyle, at one point draining the Pacific Ocean to rescue a car that has been submerged.

There were plenty of references to the characters in Twilight and the similarities between them and the characters in this book. Anna is constantly getting confused like in the opening scene where she is looking in the mirror and then realizes she's looking at a poster of Kristen Stewart. Grey's skin seems to sparkle in the sunlight. He doesn't mind and actually enjoys her menstrual blood.

Oddly, there is almost no BDSM in this book. The extent is one scene where her wrists are tied to one bedpost during sex and one place where he's spanking her and she's laughing. Only her sides hurt and it's from laughing..

Anna is very complacent about all of the sex and even thinks it's mild despite being a virgin who has never even touched herself sexually let alone masturbated. The weirdness comes from where they have sex, not what they do. It's very vanilla sex. I've heard 50 Shades is mild but if it's this bad, I have no idea why people think it's at all titillating.

There are constant fake references to sex, "There's a word starting with F I want to do with you" which turns out to be something innocuous but she's disappointed because she thought it was going to be another word starting with F that was also innocuous. When they do have sex, all body parts are referred to with euphemisms like "party favors" and a "Katy Perry."

The side references are fun for nerds such as Grey LARPing during sex and rolling a 20 sided die to determine how much to spank her. Other Seattle references abound like going to Eddie Vedder's house and constant references to Starbucks.

At the end, not only is there a silly index but also a list of Grey's Shames. Some are quite funny. There are only a handful of BDSM entries, though, which makes sense given the bland nature of the sex here. Other's are things like "Team Jacob" (#26), "Shopping at Walmart on Saturdays" (#1), "16 and Pregnant" (#48), and "Nickelback" (#23).*

Basically this is a funny light read but don't expect too much. Certainly don't go looking for funny BDSM scenes as you'll be disappointed.



*Why does everyone dog on Nickelback? I mostly listen to alternative and pseudo punk music like Muse, Rise Against, Death Cab for Cutie, Silversun Pickups, Awolnation, Modest Mouse, The Shins, etc. and I don't think Nickelback is bad. They're certainly no worse than half the crap on the Pop music charts. It's a band I don't mind that my kids love so we listen to it. I guess I have a shame, although I'm not ashamed of it. Obviously someone likes them because they keep selling albums but why does everybody still claim to hate them? I thought Rockstar was quite funny. ( )