I think this book is simple and clear - it's written quite assertively, and the tone may be a little off-putting, but essentially, it's an off the shelf self-help guide for those who believe sexual monogamy might not be the right choice for them - but who are feeling guilty or conflicted about that. It encourages honesty with oneself and one's partner and provides some basic techniques for dealing with the challenges of a nontraditional sex life or relationship. Overall, I think it's fairly solid - it can't be all things to all people, and if you already are very sex-positive and not concerned about cultural pressures to live one way or another, you might not find it useful; on the other hand, it's nice to hear those same attitudes in print, when the others are so prevalent elsewhere. ( )

A great book breaking down the idea that love and sex can only bring happiness within the framework of an exclusive, monogamous relationship. ( )

Bad: Kinda for people who believe crystals can heal.
Good: Really excellent and practical instructions on forming your own relationships and becoming a whole person, whether you're poly or monogamous or undefineably sexy. Easy + fun read. ( )

Blah. Not a fan; too many assumptions. ( )

I feel like this book speaks to me deeply, because on some gut emotional/instinctual level, I have never understood why **anyone** would want monogamy for life. It just....has zero attraction for me. And for too long I felt like a failure as a woman because I just did not grok why so much of the world thought this was important--I sure don't.

Eventually, though, I've had to come to grips with the fact that a lot of people assume exclusivity = love and this is "normal," and I really needed this book to give me good logical arguments to the contrary. ( )