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Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Wallbanger (edition 2012)

by Alice Clayton

Series: Cocktail (1)

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47711021,645 (3.9)5
Authors:Alice Clayton
Info:Omnific Publishing (2012), Edition: 1ST, Paperback, 314 pages
Collections:Your library, Read in 2013 (inactive), Favorites, Read in 2012 (inactive)
Tags:fiction, romance, contemporary, comedy, humor, neighbors, San Francisco, interior designer, photographer

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Wallbanger by Alice Clayton


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Showing 1-5 of 108 (next | show all)
Funny, but could have used a bit of revising. Good start (the girl giving the guy's different female visitors funny names), but then it unraveled in some places. Here were a few problems I had that might have been solved by an editor with a firmer hand: The sections in the format of text messages were sometimes confusing, in that it was easy to lose track of who was saying what. Then in the last few chapters it became one short gratuitous (sex) scene after the other, like snippets, and honestly, it felt a little lazy. A little transitioning would have been nice. Also, after the resolution of the story's conflict ("the case of the missing O"), I didn't really see the point in having several more scenes. On the kitchen counter. In the shower. In the bathtub. On the bed. Etc. I pretty much scanned through these parts (Oh, they're doing it again) and hoped something else would happen, that, Oh I don't know, could move the story along? The last section from the POV of the cat was cute, but as an ending I'm not sure if it was the strongest. I felt it lacked something in the end to tie it all together.

Another thing is that the comedy in the sexy parts doesn't always work, and sometimes ruins the mood. I'm all for a bit of laughter and talking during sexytaym, but sometimes you just need to shut up and concentrate, you know? The teasing banter sometimes goes on for too long that it becomes absurd and corny. I felt like a third wheel, hanging around with such a disgustingly cutesy couple. I mean, sure, in real life, this might be the silly kind of stuff you toss around with your beau when it's just the two of you, but too much of this in book form could make a reader impatient.

I will say though: the descriptions of the food and scenery in Spain were well done. If the author trimmed the bloated dialogue and focused on crafting more of those exquisite passages, then this would have been a 3-star book for me. ( )
  mrsrobin | Jun 24, 2017 |
Before reading
My friend Lisa is incredibly insistent on my reading this book. So insistent that she sent it to me as a gift. Let's see how it goes.

After reading

Thank you sweet baby Jesus, I am done.

Look away, Lisa. You won’t like this.



OMG. THIS BOOK IS SO DAMN BORING. I got so frustrated I started writing down my gripes as I read.

First gripe: why did Simon and Caroline’s friends pair up instantly? To be honest… Sophie, Mimi, Neil and Ryan ALL sound the same. Throughout the book, I could not, for the life of me, tell them apart. Stock secondary characters can do that.

Second gripe: why is there a truce so quickly? I mean, seriously? 15% in and we are buddies? Where is the tension? Where are the tricks and the pranks and the getting back at each other? Ugh, such wasted potential.

Third gripe: how much more book could there possibly be?

Fourth gripe: Am I supposed to be laughing? This is trying too hard to be funny and it’s just coming out as forced and annoying.

I stopped writing them down after a while.

Not only is it completely devoid of conflict or tension, it is in desperate need of an army of editors.

There is so much RAMBLING in this book. It is NEVER-ENDING. It just goes on and on and on for pages and chapters on end and I was just begging the book to PLEASE get to the FUCKING POINT. Do I really need to read two rehashes of a scene you already showed me?

I swear, you could’ve cut so many unnecessary conversations, text messages and introspection and this book would’ve turned easily in a novella.

What’s worse, this book reads like fan fiction and then I realize oh wait… it IS fan fiction. *headdesk* This is why I avoid it like the plague.

Caroline starts out as a spunky heroine who, after the 50% mark, becomes an escapee of a mental institution. Which is such a shame cause I wanted to like her. She fooled me into thinking she had a healthy self-esteem. She throws hissy fits, snaps at her friends and boss, and is an all around drag because Simon wouldn’t kiss her while she was shit-faced drunk. WHAT AN ASSHOLE FOR NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE. The only thing I ended up liking about her is that she bakes.

Her chemistry with Simon, in my opinion, is MIA (like O) after their hate-kiss at the beginning of the book. It shows up near the end, too late for me to give a damn.

Simon was a sweetie, but I didn’t fall in love with him. Got a little crush maybe but that’s it. He had a serious case of gemstone eyes that kept getting on my nerves.

Once I reached the 50% it went downhill and quickly. Reading this turned into a chore. I begged the heavens to put me out of my misery. So many ‘happy’ and completely implausible coincidences. The sex is needlessly delayed in favor of ‘banter’. And when the sex does show up, it’s unsatisfying. Why? Because Caroline did not get her O in Spain THAT’S WHY. After all the crap I read, after all that cheese I had to sift through, the first sex scene was the biggest disappointment in a mountain pile of disappointments. She had to fake it with Simon. COME ON NOW. Then they have sex all over her kitchen and all I kept thinking was how on earth could they get it on while making such a mess. I also did not like that the author peppered (I am being kind here) so many situations with humor. It removed me from the moment too often.

Also, I hate/despise/abhor epilogues narrated by the pets. It’s ridiculous and NOT funny. And no, Pink Nightie Girl is NOT a cute pet name. It sucks. There. I said it.


Actual rating: 1.5/5. ( )
  lapiccolina | Jun 23, 2017 |
This was the first book I read of Alice Clayton and I loved it! It was so damn funny! Her other books are good too, but so far this one is my favorite. Definitely recommend if you need a good laugh! ( )
  Crystal423 | May 1, 2017 |
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when I picked this one up. It kept coming up as a recommendation on Goodreads, but I finally decided to read it when some fellow readers recommended it to me specifically.

It’s the first book I’ve read of Alice Clayton’s but I was so pleasantly surprised. I think based on the cover photo and title, I was expecting something way less funny. But this book was hilarious! There were several times I was laughing until I cried. I love a lot about this book. Caroline and I being close to the same age helped me relate to her, even if she was way more established job-wise than I am. I loved that she had a cat, Clive, and how much she adored him. Their interactions were just great! And totally relatable for a cat-lover like me. (The scene where Clive jumps on Caroline's bed after the scary movie was sooooo funny. Caroline was literally me in this situation as I would have reacted the exact same way.)

Caroline was so funny. I loved her. She was dedicated and hardworking in her career, and wasn't afraid to stand up for herself when it came to difficult situations. She definitely went for what she wanted, but wasn't afraid to say no too.

Simon was so surprisingly sweet. When he talked about how his parents held hands, and then later on when he and Caroline are working independently on the couch, and he reaches over to hold her hand... *swooooooon*. I loved it. He listened to Caroline, and was actually interested in what she was saying and feeling. He was great!

The friendship between the three ladies was also great. I loved how Clayton interspersed text message conversations into the book. Not only did it let the reader see a bit into the conversations between other characters, it added a realistic aspect to the story. So much of conversation is done by text message nowadays. Adding that really helped bring the story to life.

I really enjoyed how Simon and Caroline helped their friends figure out their love lives. I also liked that Simon and Caroline didn’t start dating each other right away. They definitely tried to keep that friend boundary for a while, even if both of them were feeling more. While the idea of how they meet is somewhat unrealistic, I felt their friendship and their subsequent relationship was much more realistic. It started the best way - they were friends first. They got to know each other before putting any real romantic feelings on the line.

I’m glad there is a sequel because I’m interested in how their relationship progresses, and how they handle life stresses together. I’ll be picking it up soon! Overall, probably one of the funniest books I’ve read in a while. Very enjoyable!

See this review plus a recipe for Simon and Caroline inspired zucchini bread on the blog ---> Books for the Living. ( )
  BooksForTheLiving | Mar 20, 2017 |
Review Posted on HarlequinJunkie.com

Caroline Reynolds loves her life in the bay area. Her job, her cat, her friends, and now – her new apartment, courtesy of her boss, Jillian. She has an amazing boss, really. Jillian is deeply in love and renovating the perfect house – so subletting her place to Caroline is a no-brainer. On her first night in the new apartment, she’s woken up in the wee hours by the sound of energetic, frenetic, no-holes-barred sex. Read More ( )
  Aleveria | Jan 12, 2017 |
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Awards and honors
To my mom, for letting me have coconut on my birthday cake
even though no one else likes it.

To my dad, for reading me Garfield comics
until we laughed so hard we were both crying.

Thank you
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“Oh, God.”
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"Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we're not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she's ever heard. Each moan, spank, and--was that a meow?--punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O."--Page 4 of cover.… (more)

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