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Finally, a hilarious book of things you'd love to say to your kids, but can't. Things like, "Santa isn't real. I'm the idiot who stayed up all night putting together that bike" or "When you twirl around and say, 'are you watching?' the answer is usually 'no.'" You might not actually tell Junior that his finger paintings are awful, but you CAN laugh along with this book, knowing that you're not alone with these thoughts. I Ate All Your Cookies is the perfect laugh therapy for any parent! Laugh along as you read the thoughts you've always wanted to say: - The fact that you eat glue makes me wonder if you're really as smart as I tell other people you are. - I lied. The cookies aren't all gone. I'm going to eat them when you're asleep. And they're going to be delicious. - I love you, but no, I don'treally think you're going to be an astronaut.