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Loading... The real Frank Zappa book (original 1989; edition 1990)766 | 4 | 29,147 |
(3.95) | 9 | Recounts the career of the rock music performer. |
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Epigraph |
"I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird."
Frank Zappa (Baltimore Sun, October 12, 1986) | |
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Dedication |
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO GAIL,
THE KIDS, STEPHEN HAWKING, AND KO-KO.
F.Z. August 23, 1988 06:39:37 | |
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This book exists on the premise that somebody, somewhere, is interested in who I am, how I got that way, and what the fuck I'm talking about. | |
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I don't want to write a book, but I'm going to do it anyway, because Peter Occhiogrosso is going to help me. He is a writer. He likes books -- he even reads them. I think it is good that books still exist, but they make me sleepy. For the records, folks: I never took a shit on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973. Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. Our school systems train kids to be ignorant, with style -- functional ignoramuses. They do not equip students to deal with things like logic; they don't give them the criteria by which to judge between good and bad in any product or situation. They are groomed and launched to function as mindless buying machines for the products and concepts of a multinational military-industrial complex that needs a World Of Dumbells to survive. The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively -because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?
If John Cage, for instance, says, "I'm putting a contact microphone on my throat, and I'm going to drink carrot juice, and that's my composition," then his gurgling qualifies as his composition because he put a frame around it and said so. "Take it or leave it, I now will this to be music." After that it's a matter of taste. Without the frame-as-announced, it's a guy swallowing carrot juice. The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has the medieval aroma -- like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball -- I find this unfathomable -- but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing a bassoon. It's a great noise -- nothing else makes that noise. It takes a long time to learn how to play a violin, and, after you whittle your fingers to the bone, what's the big payoff? A chair in the nineteenth row, sawing away on whole notes, while some guy who might be better at politics (or blow jobs) is sitting in chair number one, getting all the bitchen solos. So, how did The New Guys get in there? Some got in because their Dad was one of The Old Guys. Some of them actually worked their way in -- the guy with the cigar said one day: "Sherman, look, I took a chance -- it went out there -- next thing I know, we sold a few million units. I still don't know what the fuck this shit is, but we gotta do some more. I tell you, Sherm -- I need some advice! Why don't we get one of those hippie bastards in here?" So, they hire the hippie bastard -- not to do anything 'big,' just carry the coffee; bring the mail; stand around and look happening. So one day the old guy says: "Sherman, listen -- I think we can trust him; he looks like he's 'happening.' We'll make him an A&R man -- let HIM talk to these stupid fuckers with the tambourine 'n incense. He understands this shit -- he's got the same hair."
From there, he's moving up and up; next thing you know he's got HIS feet on the desk and he's saying, "Get rid of Sherman, Ms. Maxwell -- and -- oh, that 'new group'? We can't take a chance on them. . . it's just not what the kids really want -- I know -- I got the same hair."
From there, he's moving up and up; next thing you know he's got HIS feet on the desk and he's saying, "Get rid of Sherman, Ms. Maxwell -- and -- oh, that 'new group'? We can't take a chance on them. . . it's just not what the kids really want -- I know -- I got the same hair." | |
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▾References References to this work on external resources. Wikipedia in English (15)▾Book descriptions Recounts the career of the rock music performer. ▾Library descriptions No library descriptions found. ▾LibraryThing members' description
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Current DiscussionsNoneGoogle Books — Loading...
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So here's an authorized ghost-written autobiography. What Zappa enthusiast cd resist? All that droll commentary, setting the record straight & the like. No doubt, Zappa had alotof stupid bullshit written about him by alotof incomprehending hostile people over the yrs & no doubt it's still almost MIRACULOUS that his music STILL isn't played on rock radio stns while the most producer-created DREK sickens the airwaves unto death, BUT, LET'S FACE IT, Zappa pulled it off w/ balls & perseverance almost unprecedented in the rock music industry. Hats off to his memory! ( )