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John Dies at the End by David Wong
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John Dies at the End (edition 2007)

by David Wong

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1,710944,155 (3.84)78
Member:ajhackwith
Title:John Dies at the End
Authors:David Wong
Info:Permuted Press (2007), Paperback, 376 pages
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John Dies at the End by David Wong

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» See also 78 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 94 (next | show all)
While funny in parts, the book didn't hold my interest. The narrator tended to ramble on with heavy descriptions, which was the author's choice. It just wasn't a style I enjoyed. All and all the book was ok, but the imagery didn't work for me. ( )
  bbrams17 | Jun 8, 2016 |
This book is amazing - genuinely hilarious, eminently quotable and surprisingly thought-provoking. It's also scary, generally planting little seeds in your head that creep you out rather than going for a shock factor. It also seems like the sort of book that you could revisit over and over again and find things that you missed the first time. I'd recommend it to anyone, regardless of their tastes. It's a book that has reignited my passion for reading, in the off-chance that I'll come across another book even half as good. ( )
  MikeFutcher | Jun 3, 2016 |
I haven't read anything this funny since my serendipitous meeting with Christopher Moore's You Suck: A Love Story a few years ago.

The narrator is also named David Wong (startling nom de plume, I know). He works at a video rental joint and has somehow developed a friendship with John, who is literally the craziest bastard I have ever read about. Seriously, the stuff that happens doesn't even faze him. I never saw anyone else kill a monster made out of meat slabs while yelling really bad puns.

I was terrified and laughing my ass off at the exact same things. Case in point, one freaky thing is described as wearing a blonde wig and is thereafter referred to as a wig monster. Jaws, teeth, wings, talons... and, we can only assume, a desire to star in Some Like It Hot.

JD@E has some truly unexpected gems - "Molly's furry ass rolled across my face" was my favorite - and the creepy factor does not go down a notch. Pee from terror, pee from laughter, it's all warm.

For the record, Molly is a dog. Don't look at me like that. If your car rolled over and your dog fell on you, I'm pretty sure its furry *something* could roll across your face. Yeah, that's a visual. You're welcome.

Gave this one an A, as in "and you're going to release a sequel when?" ( )
  grammarchick | May 31, 2016 |
I haven't read anything this funny since my serendipitous meeting with Christopher Moore's You Suck: A Love Story a few years ago.

The narrator is also named David Wong (startling nom de plume, I know). He works at a video rental joint and has somehow developed a friendship with John, who is literally the craziest bastard I have ever read about. Seriously, the stuff that happens doesn't even faze him. I never saw anyone else kill a monster made out of meat slabs while yelling really bad puns.

I was terrified and laughing my ass off at the exact same things. Case in point, one freaky thing is described as wearing a blonde wig and is thereafter referred to as a wig monster. Jaws, teeth, wings, talons... and, we can only assume, a desire to star in Some Like It Hot.

JD@E has some truly unexpected gems - Molly's furry ass rolled across my face" was my favorite - and the creepy factor does not go down a notch. Pee from terror, pee from laughter, it's all warm.

For the record, Molly is a dog. Don't look at me like that. If your car rolled over and your dog fell on you, I'm pretty sure its furry *something* could roll across your face. Yeah, that's a visual. You're welcome.

Gave this one an A, as in "and you're going to release a sequel when?"" ( )
  grammarchick | May 31, 2016 |
I haven't read anything this funny since my serendipitous meeting with Christopher Moore's You Suck: A Love Story a few years ago.

The narrator is also named David Wong (startling nom de plume, I know). He works at a video rental joint and has somehow developed a friendship with John, who is literally the craziest bastard I have ever read about. Seriously, the stuff that happens doesn't even faze him. I never saw anyone else kill a monster made out of meat slabs while yelling really bad puns.

I was terrified and laughing my ass off at the exact same things. Case in point, one freaky thing is described as wearing a blonde wig and is thereafter referred to as a wig monster. Jaws, teeth, wings, talons... and, we can only assume, a desire to star in Some Like It Hot.

JD@E has some truly unexpected gems - Molly's furry ass rolled across my face" was my favorite - and the creepy factor does not go down a notch. Pee from terror, pee from laughter, it's all warm.

For the record, Molly is a dog. Don't look at me like that. If your car rolled over and your dog fell on you, I'm pretty sure its furry *something* could roll across your face. Yeah, that's a visual. You're welcome.

Gave this one an A, as in "and you're going to release a sequel when?"" ( )
  grammarchick | May 31, 2016 |
Showing 1-5 of 94 (next | show all)
JDATE is the rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares; David is a consistently hilarious narrator whose one-liners and running commentary are sincere in a way that makes the horrors he confronts even more unsettling. Plot-wise, for a good two-thirds of the book, it seems like Wong is more interested in piling on weirder and weirder threats than fitting the pieces together, and while his invention never flags, the accumulation of horrors eventually threatens to turn the narrative into a breathless series of “And then?”s. Still, the tone and white-knuckle pacing cover up a lot of sins, and Wong manages to pull everything together for a finale that’s both stomach-churningly freaky and oddly moving. It’s the sort of thing that leaves readers breathless and nauseous, but surprisingly hungry for more.
 

» Add other authors (2 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
David Wongprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Arnold, RichDesignersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Grom, RobCover designersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Spear, GeoffCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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First words
Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt.
Quotations
Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.
Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
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Wikipedia in English (2)

Book description
STOP.You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late.They’re watching you.My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this:The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this is was my fault.

In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong—Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego—adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as “soy sauce,” a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong's—and his penis-obsessed friend John's—minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clichés of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next. 

David Wong is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, online humorist, National Lampoon contributor, and editor-in-chief of Cracked.com.
Haiku summary

Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0312659148, Paperback)

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

STOP.

You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.

NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late.

They’re watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.

You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

 

The important thing is this:

The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. 

John and I never had the chance to say no. 

You still do.

Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.

            I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:

 

None of this is was my fault.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:19:28 -0400)

(see all 6 descriptions)

This may be the story of John and David, a drug called soy sauce, and other-worldly beings invading the planet. Or, it may be the story of two beer-drinking friends who live in an unnamed Midwestern town and only think something horrific is going on. But the important thing is, according to the narrator, "None of this is my fault.".… (more)

(summary from another edition)

» see all 5 descriptions

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