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Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned, #1) by Robyn…
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Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned, #1)

by Robyn Peterman

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Showing 1-5 of 9 (next | show all)
3 "What the fu.." Stars



Asscan, Asswad, Assbutt I get it! Astrid has a lot of nicknames with the word "ass" in it I feel like there were so many holes in this story. So many skipped scenes, or unfulfilled plots.

You know when an author is trying to be so funny, the end result actually isn't funny at all but .... silly, stupid, eye-rolling annoying? That is what it was for most of this book. For one Astrid's style drove me nuts!Prada whore, hot pink Juicy sweat suit (yuck), blue sequined converse? Gold studded UGG boots? The constant foul mouthed names from Pam? It wasn't funny, and actually got old. The constant fondling of her woman parts, be it by old men or three inch baby demons it was over played.



Cheesy, that is the word that immediately comes to mind. Names like Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton and Oprah? How very original. Comments that were so over-the-top "funny" and overused had me smacking my head. The orgasm made me "See Jesus" ... "What the fu.." ... AHHHHH

Now that I have that out of my system...There were parts of the book I did like. I think it is a good story line. I just wish it was a bit more serious, it read like a children's book but had oral sex in it, which Does not go together!! At. All.

I admired that she is a kick-ass warrior Vampyre, and I do love Ethan. It was just to many repetitive sentences. They weren't witty the first time and again the second, fifth and thirtieth. Let it go. ( )
  Meagantull | Jul 5, 2017 |
Astrid just wants to quit smoking and do it without gaining weight. That's not asking too much, right? What she didn't expect was that she'd have to become a vampire to quit.

I hesitated before buying this book because it sounded so similar to another vampire series I enjoy. But this one is not only just as good I think it's better. ( )
  mmoj | Mar 2, 2017 |
Ridiculously fantastic and knee-slappinly (it's a word) funny. Great heroine and a superb cast of characters that kept me entertained and riveted to the story. I really enjoyed this book it had the right amount of kick ass action, humor and was also chock full of supernatural goodness that I oh so love to devour. ( )
  GigisIrieReads | Oct 22, 2016 |
Snarky and just too much fun, but the narrator's voice was just too grating. ( )
  jetangen4571 | Jul 22, 2016 |
My first book by this author.

This book has all the elements of chick-lit. Deeply connected to family. Filled with humor. Involving a female protagonist of between 26 and 33 (if I recall correctly, Astrid is around 29). Set in the modern day world of Kentucky. Oh, and the main character, plus the potential love interest, are vampires. Sorry, Vampyres. What, being magical creatures moves this outside the realm of Chick-Lit? Well, darn.

So, Astrid is a young (depending on your age when you meet her) woman of 29ish. She has self-proclaimed genius IQ (well, she claimed she had an IQ of 150), but doesn’t really use it. Works as an art teacher at a senior center. She never knew her father, and her mother is a cold icy bitch who refuses to show Astrid any love. Yet, Astrid still strives for it instead of rejecting the bitch.

The book opens with Astrid being moody and depressed. For good reason, her one good relative in her life is dead. Her grandmother. And her mother still acts like a bitch, even at the funeral, wondering why the hell her daughter made her come down to this hick town for ‘this’.

Months pass. Astrid continues lusting after Prada products and huffing away on cigarettes. One thing leads to another and Astrid makes a bet with her best friend Gemma. A bet to quit smoking. She’s tried almost everything but has failed to kick the habit. A thousand dollars is on the line. Oh, and her health. So . . . she goes to a seedy area of the town and visits a hypnotist. She asks for ‘never smoking again’ (or however she worded that) and tosses in ‘never again gaining weight’.

The next thing she knows, she’s wiggling awake in her bed. Blinking, looking around confused. She desperately desires a cigarette. Well, that failed. She lights up a cigarette. Puts it into her mouth. Attempts to smoke. Fails utterly. Hmms, she thinks, there’s a need to be able to breathe that comes with smoking. Being able to inhale and exhale. And she appears to be doing neither. She attempts to inhale. To exhale. Hmms. She hears a voice on the other side of her bedroom door. It’s Gemma. She notes that she appears to have a little trouble breathing. Gemma asks if she has a pulse. ‘Of course I have a pulse!’ *checks, no pulse found* Gemma, oddly, doesn’t appear horrified by the whole thing, but instead to be outrageously excited. She’s weird like that. Oh, and Oprah Winfrey is in her living room. That’s one reason Gemma wasn’t initially horrified, she had had a discussion with Oprah (I’m not Oprah!) before attempting to talk with Astrid. Astrid is a Vampyre. Oh, and even though she can’t see her own reflection, she is informed that she’s super hot.

Astrid then attempts to ‘live’ as a dead person. Or . . something like that. Late one night she decides to visit her grandmother’s grave. (I’m overlooking certain things like the appearance of three vampyres who represent different vampyre houses and extend invitations). Hearing voices, Astrid hides. Three really really attractive people show up. Arguing with each other. Astrid really just loves the butt on one of them. The male one. But . . . these are probably the rogues she was warned about! Naturally she stands up, they spot her, they tousle, she transports herself back to her house and . . scene.

Ethan, one of the three ‘rogues’ and Astrid ‘the new Vampyre’ spend the rest of the book bumping into each other. Hmm, I don’t have time to be more exact, and this really isn’t being fair, but that’s life.

The book was actually pretty funny, and rather entertaining. The sequel appears to be using a plot device that I’ve seen way too often so I’m unsure if I’ll be able to continue, but I did rather enjoy this specific book here.

Oh, one final issue – there is some really explicit and graphic sex scenes in this book. Just an FYI.

January 4 2016
( )
  Lexxi | Jun 26, 2016 |
Showing 1-5 of 9 (next | show all)
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Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist. 

At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? 

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. 

To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One. 

Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
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