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The Licen Sepulcher (Palatnis) (Volume 1) by…

The Licen Sepulcher (Palatnis) (Volume 1)

by Joshua McNutt

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Recently added bySirsangel



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I received an advanced readers copy of The Licen Sepulcher to review.

My first problem lies with that ARC I was sent. It was a Print Copy Proof, that had no way to allow for resizing of the font on my e-reader, or my computer. Those of us with vision problems, must be able to resize our reading material. The Print Proof has only a fixed font size due to the way it is handled. The proof also could only be read in a fixed two-page format, which is very difficult to do on an e-reader; my preferred method of reading digital books.

The second problem begins with the first sentence of the book. I found myself having to reread the sentence three times, and kept finding myself editing the sentence to be less clunky to read.

Third problem, is a major one. Formatting. This book had no less than three different types of formatting in it. This needs to be cleaned up, regardless of whether the author intends to only sell the book as a print or also as a digital.

Fourth problem, is paragraphs. Oh, I don't know if I can explain it right, but will try. There were NUMEROUS 2-3 PAGE paragraphs. No breaks, no indentation. Just a huge "wall of text" as we call it on a number of forums I am a part of. Just imagine this review being written all as one paragraph. Then imagine it going on for easily 2-3 pages. In addition to that problem with paragraphs, we have some paragraphs being indented, and some not. You need to choose one format for paragraphs or the other and stick with that choice. Also, you only want a 5 space indent, not the 15-20 spaces which this book proof showed.

The fifth problem involved the way dialogue was handled. I have been taught by the head editor of a well-known digital imprint that you want the dialogue of each character to be on different lines. You do not want them all jammed into one paragraph. Also, you need to make it clear which character is talking in some manner. In just the first chapter, which is as far as I could make it in this ARC, I found myself at a complete loss nearly every time more than one character was featured speaking. You don't need to say things like, "he said," or other derivatives, but you do want to make sure the reader does not get confused.

Another problem I found with the dialogue was how "stilted" at times it appeared to be.

I hate to say this, but dear author, you truly need a professional editor, and formatter for this book. Also, if you want to make a decent amount of money from your book, you need to consider doing both digital and print editions. If you do nothing else, get it edited and formatted properly, even if you only want to do just a print or just a digital run of the book.

If those two things were done, and the author submitted at the very least a PDF that could be read in single page format and allowed for font size changes, I would then consider trying to reread this book and make changes in this review rating, if it proved appropriate. ( )
  Sirsangel | Jan 17, 2015 |
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