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Channel U by Anthony Lampe
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Channel U

by Anthony Lampe

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A free book. Vague desire to read a choose-your-own adventure. So, I test it. Since it is free. Curious if the author's language is something other than English as this seems vaguely oddly worded at times. No matter.

You are a boy (no I'm not, shut up) who has decided to, against your parents orders, try out a brand new 80 inch television. Almost instantly you are trapped inside and a mirrored version of you is in the real world. Ordering you around. And so . . you are given three "shows" you can be the lead star in.

I picked Science Fiction first. Ended up captain on a star ship. On a rescue mission. Awkward stilted dialogue commences to fill the page as I continue.

Um. Big evil aliens suddenly start talking to you. Then the ensign cuts off the communication. Um. (A) there was no directive from the captain, you, to accept or initiate communications; (B) there is no indication that the alien ship is forcing their communication in (there's an "incoming message" but no "accept" or "deny" type command, message just plays); (C) the ensign cuts off the communication without waiting for you to tell the ensign to do so or to do anything. One example of the awkwardness of the book.

"Their weapons are nearly at maximum power," the ensign begins, "we need to act now, sir." Example two of awkwardness. Begins? The ensign has been communicating his thoughts for a while now. On these aliens. heh. Dangerous situation, huge alien ship is powering weapons, captain asks how powerful the ship is (or more exactly a question of whether or not the ship is a match). Ensign answers with a long story about how evil the Phantoms are. And how no one has survived. Um, so are they a match or not? Ensign did not answer the question.

Good grief. Powered up alien. You reach a decision. You crew argues with you while the alien is all set to kill you and your ship. Bad crew! Bad!

Bloody awful shields this ship has. Shesh. Completely unacceptable. Completely. Might as well have tissue paper as shields.

ARRRRRgh. Stop with all the "you ask" "states" "says" already. Shesh. It's driving me insane, and adding to the awkward wording.

Um. heh. "Emergency Bi-Separation". heh.

"Their shields are set to absorb our laser blasts . . . " hmm. At no time have I had the option to use laser blasts. Only torpedoes. What does it matter if their shields can absorb something I have not as yet used?

Right, so the other two adventures/television shows are "Fantasy Adventure" and "Horror Adventure".

"Fantasy Adventure" was competently written. It was even, to a certain extent, interesting.

Hmm. "Zombie Experience" aka "Horror Adventure" is also competently written. Apparently I chose the least well written story line to begin my examination of the book. ( )
  Lexxi | Apr 14, 2015 |
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