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I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really):…

I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture…

by Kay Wills Wyma

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I'm Happy for You by Kay Wills Wyma is highly recommended. If we refuse to allow comparison to control our thoughts and emotions, we can be more content and full of joy.

The complete title of Kay Wills Wyma book, I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, really explains the whole premise of the book. Wyma points out that most of us suffer from "Obsessive Comparison Disorder." When we are constantly concern about measuring ourselves in comparison to others it can take the joy away from things we like and all of that perceived competition can sap our energy and steal our contentment.

Comparison to others is really all about self-absorption and self-centered thinking. All of that focus on comparison can create dissatisfaction, even though many of the goals other people have were never our goals to begin with. We can help break free of Obsessive Comparison Disorder by being able to say "I'm happy for you," and truly meaning it. We need to try to celebrate what others are sharing without comparing our lives to theirs.

Wyma wisely points out that, "Even now I wonder how many of life’s gifts I have labeled hardship and thus missed enjoying their benefits. How many times have my eyes been closed in self-pity or focused on what I thought I wanted. Good things exist in the midst of bad circumstances, if we’re willing to look for them."

She shares a Ctrl/Alt/Delete strategy when dealing with Obsessive Comparison Disorder:
Ctrl: Control the Thought Process by Pausing to Recognize the Problem. Curing comparison starts by being aware and by identifying the signs that it has infiltrated our thinking.
Alt: Consider an Alternative Perspective.
Delete: Eliminate Comparison - or at Least Tone It Down

I loved the quote from Anne Lamott that Wyma shared: "I can still get my jeans on, for one reason: I wear forgiving pants. The world is too hard as it is, without letting your pants have an opinion on how you are doing.

Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Crown Publishing for review purposes. ( )
  SheTreadsSoftly | Mar 21, 2016 |
This is essential reading for everyone, especially in this day in age. We allow our emotions to be dictated by social media, how many likes we get, what our friends are doing, how pretty we look in our pictures. It's a never ending cycle of self loathing and jealousy and it needs to stop. This book tackles comparison, why we compare our lives with others and how that affects the way we live ours. As quoted in the book, "This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we're comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else's' highlight reel."

We're all guilty of it. One of my best friend's got engaged recently and my first thought it, "Well, I'm dying alone." Just because all my friends are married and working on kids doesn't mean that I have to be too. I should be happy for them (and mean it) and happy for myself as well! Being single can be awesome, I never have to ask anyone's permission if it will fit in the schedule, never have to find a babysitter, and will always be able to admire the male form. Who knows, maybe Mr. Right is closer than I thought. It's all about looking at the picture a different way.

This self help book breaks down why we feel the need to compare every aspect of our lives to others and talks about developing strategies to help you feel better about yourself and better for your friends. It's a great read full of inspiring quotations, real life testimonials, and great advice. A must read for everyone, especially the social media addicts.

I received this book for free from Flyby Promotions in return for my honest, unbiased review. ( )
  ecataldi | Nov 18, 2015 |
I found myself nodding my head so many times in agreement with the author, Kay Wills Wyma, as she talks about contentment in "I'm Happy for You." Wyma uses humor, real life experiences, and a conversation style writing that is easy to follow as she talks about our culture's obsession with comparison. I had not thought of myself being apart of the comparison game, but after reading this book, I had to rethink that thought. Wyma writes "the longing to know we belong compels us to race after anything that offers to secure our feelings of importance and worth" (p. 2015, p. 32). I particularly liked the chapter on yardstick living: how do we measure up or how do we measure ourselves to others. This book offers a way back to living a simpler, more contentment filled life.
I received this book free to review from waterBrook Press.
  gcclibrary | Aug 17, 2015 |
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POPULAR PSYCHOLOGY. "A challenge for anyone caught up in the constant pursuit of busyness and self-promotion to choose instead a counter-cultural means of finding satisfaction exactly where they are. Mother of five Kay Wyma has witnessed firsthand how constant comparison breeds a lack of contentment, sapping joy and peace from our kids, from our families, from our lives, forcing us to live at breakneck speed to avoid falling behind or missing out. In addition to exposing the problem of competitive living, Kay offers practical suggestions for how we can learn to measure our lives less by how fast we're moving and more by how much we're celebrating, in ourselves, our kids, and in others. The issue of the "comparison trap" has taken center stage as social media gives us an immediate view of how others live and a skewed perspective of success as measured by re-tweets and "likes.… (more)

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