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My Anniversary (My Hot Vacation Book 2) by…
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My Anniversary (My Hot Vacation Book 2)

by Cora West

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Note: This work was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. Full review can be found on The Review Board.

If I had to sum it up in one phrase it would be the following:

It has the basic ingredients but not the right quantities to produce a rousing outcome.

Allow me to expand.

It is very difficult to find any idea that is original, particularly in the world of erotica. However, all that aside, one has to do the best to make the adaptation of an already existing idea the most mouthwatering possible. In the absence of originality, I feel there is a recipe that erotic works must have in order to achieve my full undivided attention that can lead to my seeking “special attention.”

Permeating Characters

Even in a short story, I like for my characters to have a bit of depth to them. Although the lead in to the vacation was an interesting one, I found myself wondering how the characters of Victoria, Eric and Julian were any different than those suddenly presented in a porno.

None of them have enough uniqueness to stick: I remember the nosy cabbie more than the name of the main character, which was only said once during the whole story.

Convincing Dialogue

There was nothing steamy about the dialogue whatsoever. The responses seemed mechanical: no emphasis on crucial moments of excitement, like arousal, trepidation, and the like. I need to feel as if I can play the reactions and sounds in my head, and this presentation did not give me that insight.

Anticipation

The anticipation is the fun of the tale—particularly one that is supposed to portray a fantasy coming to life. I believe the presentation of this in first person hindered the story. With all the focus on Victoria, the reactions of Eric and Julian were a bit skimmed over. I think if there were varying perspectives, then more spice would have sizzled on the pages.

You aren’t able to get that type of backstage insight with things solely being on one person. Also, it could be just me, but if it was primarily Eric’s fantasy, shouldn’t Eric have been the narrator more so than Victoria?

Vivid Descriptions

The author did a wonderful job in describing Victoria’s dress. Yet, there wasn’t much else as far as description of either locations or characters. Hawaii has such beautiful islands: I would have loved to have known the beauty of it, especially because I’ve never been there. Also, what is difference between the locals and the vacationers? Description would have helped here as well. Besides a slick tongue, some smooth moves, and being toned, what else does Julian have going for him?

Accuracy in Tense

In the first part of “My Anniversary”, the story is written in 1st person, present tense. However about a quarter of the way in, it shifts to 1st person, past tense. First person is difficult to write in because there tends to be an abundance of the word “I”. First person, present tense is even more daunting because it is a challenge to stay in tense.

Verdict: 2 out of 5 Stars

For those who like erotica that gets straight to the point, perhaps this is a read you will be willing to try. Yet, if you are a bit more seasoned, this will not give you the finished delight that you crave. ( )
  NoLabelsUnleashed | May 22, 2015 |
Note: This work was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

If I had to sum it up in one phrase it would be the following:

It has the basic ingredients but not the right quantities to produce a rousing outcome.

Allow me to expand.

It is very difficult to find any idea that is original, particularly in the world of erotica. However, all that aside, one has to do the best to make the adaptation of an already existing idea the most mouthwatering possible. In the absence of originality, I feel there is a recipe that erotic works must have in order to achieve my full undivided attention that can lead to my seeking “special attention.”

Permeating Characters

Even in a short story, I like for my characters to have a bit of depth to them. Although the lead in to the vacation was an interesting one, I found myself wondering how the characters of Victoria, Eric and Julian were any different than those suddenly presented in a porno.

None of them have enough uniqueness to stick: I remember the nosy cabbie more than the name of the main character, which was only said once during the whole story.

Convincing Dialogue

There was nothing steamy about the dialogue whatsoever. The responses seemed mechanical: no emphasis on crucial moments of excitement, like arousal, trepidation, and the like. I need to feel as if I can play the reactions and sounds in my head, and this presentation did not give me that insight.

Anticipation

The anticipation is the fun of the tale—particularly one that is supposed to portray a fantasy coming to life. I believe the presentation of this in first person hindered the story. With all the focus on Victoria, the reactions of Eric and Julian were a bit skimmed over. I think if there were varying perspectives, then more spice would have sizzled on the pages.

You aren’t able to get that type of backstage insight with things solely being on one person. Also, it could be just me, but if it was primarily Eric’s fantasy, shouldn’t Eric have been the narrator more so than Victoria?

Vivid Descriptions

The author did a wonderful job in describing Victoria’s dress. Yet, there wasn’t much else as far as description of either locations or characters. Hawaii has such beautiful islands: I would have loved to have known the beauty of it, especially because I’ve never been there. Also, what is difference between the locals and the vacationers? Description would have helped here as well. Besides a slick tongue, some smooth moves, and being toned, what else does Julian have going for him?

Accuracy in Tense

In the first part of “My Anniversary”, the story is written in 1st person, present tense. However about a quarter of the way in, it shifts to 1st person, past tense. First person is difficult to write in because there tends to be an abundance of the word “I”. First person, present tense is even more daunting because it is a challenge to stay in tense.

For those who like erotica that gets straight to the point, perhaps this is a read you will be willing to try. Yet, if you are a bit more seasoned, this will not give you the finished delight that you crave. ( )
  NoLabelsUnleashed | May 22, 2015 |
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