Author's summary: When Michael Knapp brings his lover Dan Biggs home to meet his parents, he doesn't expect things to go smoothly. His mother's been trying to marry him off for years, and sometimes he isn't even sure his father knows he exists. He has always felt like the shadow son, competing with his terminally stupid older brother and smart-mouthed little sister for his parents' attention. Coming out to them over dinner seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally get noticed.

But an unexpected phone call interrupts his announcement ~ Aunt Evie, the family matriarch, is dead. With Dan in tow, Michael follows his family to Sugar Creek, where he spent his summers growing up, to prepare for the funeral.

Amid an overabundance of memories and relatives, Michael's world begins to slip. His dysfunctional family, Evie's death, and an old friend's confession all threaten to smother him. Worse, in his grief and confusion he seems determined to inadvertently push everyone away, including his lover. Can he and Dan move beyond his family and his past to a new life together, before Michael's insecurities tear them apart?

It's All Relative is hard to describe, because it's not exactly romance, but it's not exactly a coming of age story either. Michael Knapp, the main character, is comfortable with who he is and where he is in life. It's All Relative is more about redefining and strengthening relationships.

I have a love/hate relationship with the main character. During the stay at Sugar Creek, Michael is extremely disrespectful and insensitive towards everyone else, but he blames his odd behavior on grief. And when he's not being a jerk, he's being a drama queen. Every little thing seems to be stretched out of proportion for him and I questioned his mental stability. I'm somewhat willing to excuse him. I've never gone through a situation like his where he has to deal with not only the death of a loved family member, but also coming out to his mother who doesn't welcome the news.

But every time I get upset with him, I fall in love all over again when he remembers what life used to be like at Sugar Creek. In his memories, he's almost like a different person than who he is now. He sounded very fun and I liked reading how he used to be with Dan, and his aunts and friends. I also welcomed his memories as a good way to take a break from Michael's current situation. I'm glad that near the end he's able to realize how his behaviors are affecting other people.

But when I reread this story, it'll be because of Dan. I admire his character. He's an army brat but he's kind and loyal. He's someone you'd want as a friend, and if it wasn't for him, Michael might not have gotten through it all. I am in awe at how he stuck with Michael even when Michael was being a jerk. He understands so much and it's great to read about a character like him.

Snyder handles relationships beautifully and I would be glad to recommend It's All Relative based on this alone. All her characters are flawed and it's great to see them react to and understand each other. If anything, you can't judge the characters in this book based on first impressions. They have amazing depth and dynamic. I highly recommend this book! ( )