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Loading... I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey From "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough."by Brené Brown
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Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book. No current Talk conversations about this book. Solid, centering, and ever engaging. I'm a huge fan of Brené Brown, her writing and research. My self evolution finds so much fuel and foundation in her work and wisdom. I'm sure I've read this book in the past, but didn't include it on Goodreads; it was that long ago. But here's the thing—I really want to hear Brené reading the book herself. A voice carries so much meaning and conveys a thousand shades of nuance. Something about this reader created a sense that, yes, she's a good reader, but she doesn't connect with the content on a consistent basis. Please, please make another recording with the writer reading this powerful work. Definitely not the book for me. I suspect there's some really good advice and counter-behaviors and -cognition for coping with shame in this, but Ms Brown defines shame so narrowly that I don't really fit her audience. ...And since I ended up skimming most of the latter half of the book because it was advising me to do stuff I already do, I probably don't experience shame in a way her research can help with. Shame, she explains, is believing you deserve the feeling of worthlessness, hatred, contempt, etc. others (and you) level at you for something you do, think, say, or are. If you don't believe you deserve it—if instead you feel outrage or frustration or hurt or indignation—what you're experiencing is humiliation. (If you acknowledge those feelings might be rooted in some bad behavior, but that behavior doesn't make you a bad person, you're experiencing guilt, which can apparently be helpful to motivate you toward improving yourself.) What I experience, and dread, is definitely humiliation. And while I hoped this book would give me some assistance in being more resistant to that feeling, and more willing to risk instances when I might feel it, no such luck. Humiliation, I think, can be just as paralyzing as Brown's depiction of shame, and so I can't help but wonder if, as well-founded in anecdotal research as her work is, it's too rigid in its framework, too bound by her own experiences and philosophies and perspectives. Certainly, there were moments when I felt her interpretation of the emotions in a scene wasn't quite accurate, and I outright flinched at some of her suggestions on expressing empathy. (Please don't ever respond to my expression of hurt or fear or guilt or humiliation with the words, "What can I do to help?" I guarantee you that instead of feeling you're on my side, I'll feel you want to rush me to the conclusion of my emotional crisis, the part where everything's fixed and you can stop feeling awkward and uncomfortable as I express pain.) In any case, the quest to find a book to address the humiliation question continues! In the meantime, I hope this book proves helpful to those who do experience shame. no reviews | add a review
Psychology.
Self-Improvement.
Nonfiction.
HTML:Researcher, thought leader, and New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown offers a liberating study on the importance of our imperfections—both to our relationships and to our own sense of self The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we’re supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is the leading authority on the power of vulnerability, and has inspired thousands through her top-selling books Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and The Gifts of Imperfection, her wildly popular TEDx talks, and a PBS special. Based on seven years of her ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together. Brown writes, “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection—the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.”. No library descriptions found. |
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Google Books — Loading... GenresMelvil Decimal System (DDC)152.4Philosophy and Psychology Psychology Emotions And Senses EmotionsLC ClassificationRatingAverage:
Is this you?Become a LibraryThing Author. Penguin AustraliaAn edition of this book was published by Penguin Australia. |
SUMMARY REVIEW
I LIKED
- Developing shame resilience is worth examining.
- Illuminated where I run up against shame in my life, and some anecdotes from her participants did strike a cord.
- It’s an easy read.
I DIDN’T LIKE
- Very US American in examples and anecdotes. The UK culture of shame is quite different.
- Much discussion of the struggle of mothers and shame, with the child free shame barely referenced. This triggered a degree of shame in me.
- Not sure how I can action on the findings in this book. ( )