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The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups

by Leonard Sax

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1602169,462 (3.8)1
Family & Relationships. Psychology. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:In this New York Times bestseller, one of America's premier child psychologists offers a must-read account of the dismal state of parenting today, and a vision for how we can better prepare our children for the challenges of the adult world
In The Collapse of Parenting, internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority. The result is children who have no standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction. Sax shows how parents must reassert their authority - by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table, and by teaching humility and perspective - to renew their relationships with their children. Drawing on nearly thirty years of experience as a family physician and psychologist, along with hundreds of interviews with children, parents, and teachers, Sax offers a blueprint parents can use to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world.
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An excellent book that must be read by everyone that is planning to have children or already have young children under the age of 4-5. I suggest the latter age of 4-5 as it is important that you understand Dr. Sax’s experience and what he has learned about different parenting styles from his pediatric experience and begin following them at those ages or earlier. That is not to say that those with older children would not benefit, however, as your child gets older, if you have not followed Dr. Sax’s advice, it gets tougher and tougher to change your child’s behavior. This book is VERY counter cultural to today’s methods of child raising practiced by so many parents – i.e., “I Have to be my child’s friend”, “I have to allow him/her to experience things their friends are doing before they go off to college or else they will immediately do things I prohibited”, etc.) He has many citations to support his commentary. I believe the reason we have so many so-called “snowflakes” in our college students and recent graduates is precisely because parents did not follow his suggested methods. ( )
  highlander6022 | May 9, 2023 |
The Collapse of Parenting is spot-on with the descriptions and theories as to why children today tend to be disrespectful. The attitude towards parents is "ingratitude seasoned with contempt". We live in a culture where disrespect is the norm and attitude is "Live For Now". Why? The author, Leonard Sax, states that parents have "role confusion" and kids now value peers' opinions more than their parents. Another reason is sleep deprivation and fragility. Parents need to teach Fulghum's Rules, along with self-control, skill of disagreeing respectfully, and willingness to fail. Learn from failure then get up and move on. Parental authority is not discipline. It is teaching the child how to behave both in and outside the family unit...teaching right & wrong. "Just Right" parenting style communicates live but also enforces rules fairly and consistently. Suggestions in first half of book include limiting social media and always eat dinner together (and turn off all devices during dinner).

The last part of the book discusses 3 things to do help our kids:
1. Teach Humility. Be as interested in others as you are in yourself. Leads to gratitude, appreciation, and contentment. Kids need to do CHORES and understand the value of labor. The opposite of humility is inflated self-esteem which leads to resentment.
2. ENJOY your time with your child. Do fun things together and don't multitask.
3. Help child figure out the Meaning Of Life. Who am I? What do I really want? What would make me happy? Empower child to take risks, try new things, and then congratulate them for both successes and failures.
The Purpose of Life:
-Meaningful Work
-A Person to Love
-A Cause to Embrace

My job as a parent is to help my child find his potential. "Happiness comes from fulfillment, from living up to your potential..." This book is written in an easy to read style with lots of real life experiences that make the concepts relatable. ( )
  standhenry | Jul 6, 2016 |
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Family & Relationships. Psychology. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:In this New York Times bestseller, one of America's premier child psychologists offers a must-read account of the dismal state of parenting today, and a vision for how we can better prepare our children for the challenges of the adult world
In The Collapse of Parenting, internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority. The result is children who have no standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction. Sax shows how parents must reassert their authority - by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table, and by teaching humility and perspective - to renew their relationships with their children. Drawing on nearly thirty years of experience as a family physician and psychologist, along with hundreds of interviews with children, parents, and teachers, Sax offers a blueprint parents can use to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world.

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