“Haydu captures the wild emotions of adolescence: the surging hormones, the power of getting people to pay attention because of your body, and the confusion over how that makes you feel….Readers who are avidly involved in social media communities will relate to the thrill of confessing secrets to strangers.”
- School Library Journal
Harper Collins Publishers. Retrieved from: https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062294050/life-by-committee/

Diese und weitere Rezensionen findet ihr auf meinem Blog Anima Libri - Buchseele

Zum ersten Mal ist mir „Don’t tell me lies“ von Corey Ann Haydu auf der Leipziger Buchmesse dieses Jahr begegnet – und hat da schon für sehr gemischte Gefühle und eifrige Diskussionen gesorgt.

Das Problem? Der Klappentext – bzw. die eindeutigen Gegensätze darin. Da wäre zum einen die Sache mit „Joe, dessen Berührungen sich so elektrisierend anfühlt.“ Den Part haben wir faszinierenderweise allesamt beim ersten Blick auf den Klappentext überlesen und uns stattdessen auf den die andere Sache mit „Life by Committee“ konzentriert, denn die ist wirklich faszinierend, während das mit Joe eher schreckliches erahnen lässt – zumindest für mich.

Im Endeffekt ist es aber leider diese schreckliche Vorahnung gewesen, die sich bewahrheitet hat, denn „Don’t tell me lies“ ist eins dieser Bücher, die randvoll mit guten, vielversprechenden Ideen sind, deren Umsetzung aber gelinde gesagt miserabel ist. Die einzige Frage ist also: Zuerst die guten oder die schlechten Nachrichten – die Mischung macht’s, hier also die guten Ansätze inklusive schlechter Umsetzung:

Eins meiner größten Probleme war die ganze Prämisse mit Tabithas Außenseiter-Status. Ihre Freunde haben sich von ihr abgewendet, die ganze Schule hat sich gegen sie verschworen und warum? Weil sie dabei ist erwachsen zu werden. Ernsthaft. Es geht hier darum, dass ihre Brüste wachsen, sie sich auch mal etwas auffallender schminkt, Skinny Jeans trägt (wie alle anderen auch?), T-Shirts mit tieferem Ausschnitt, kürzere Sommerkleider (mit Leggings und Ballerinas?) und weil sie mit Jungs redet… Was für eine Unverschämtheit von ihr, einfach so erwachsen zu werden und wie absolut logisch, dass sie deshalb von allen gehasst wird – NICHT!

Allerdings konnte ich mit Tabitha selbst auch nur herzlich wenig anfangen, denn auch wenn ich es ziemlich gut fand, dass es hier einmal eine Protagonistin gibt, die nicht zur unschuldigen Jungfer hochstilisiert wird, wie sich alle gegen sie verschwören und sie als dreckige Schlampe abstempeln, erschien mir übertrieben und fürchterlich konstruiert – wie oben ja bereits erwähnt. Allerdings ist Tabithas Verhalten nicht gerade hilfreich. Sie hat eine fürchterlich selbstgerechte Art, sieht sich als armes, armes Opfer, tut aber ständig Dinge, die das Bild, das die anderen von ihr haben, nur unterstreichen bzw. stürzt sich in Entscheidungen, die nicht nur ihr selbst sondern auch den Leuten um sie herum schaden.

Die ganze Sache mit dem Leben nach Komiteeentscheidung ist an sich richtig spannend. Ich verrate euch ein Geheimnis, ihr gebt mir eine Aufgabe, die ich erfüllen muss, damit ihr mein Geheimnis für euch behaltet, immer mit dem Ziel, dass ich mein Leben dadurch besser und voller lebe. Doof nur, wenn diese „Aufgaben“ mehr Qual sind als sonst was – bzw. wenn die Protagonistin zwischen „OMG, das ist die geilste Sache ever“ und physischen Ekelreaktionen schwankt und das ohne jemals über diese Reaktionen und die riesigen Unterschiede dazwischen zu reflektieren.

Überhaupt ist ein ganz großes Problem von Corey Ann Haydu in „Don’t tell me lies“, dass sie die Dinge immer nur erzählt und versucht den Leser von allem möglichen, ziemlich unglaubwürdigen Kram zu überzeugen, ohne jemals irgendetwas davon wirklich zu zeigen – „Show, don’t tell“ ist eindeutig nicht die Stärke der Autorin, so zum Beispiel auch bei Tabithas Schwärmerei für Joe, die ich nicht einmal ansatzweise nachvollziehen konnte.

Schade, aber für mich war „Don’t tell me lies“ von Corey Ann Haydu ein totaler Reinfall – top Idee, grässliche Umsetzung durch eine Autorin, die eindeutig beim nächsten Versuch mehr über das Konzept „Show, don’t tell“ nachdenken sollte. Eine Empfehlung gibt es für diesen Roman daher von meiner Seite aus absolut nicht. ( )

For more reviews, Cover Snark and more, visit A Reader of Fictions.

Back in May, I started Life by Committee and quickly set it aside. It’s not a reflection on Haydu’s sophomore novel or on any of the others I picked up and abandoned while in New York City for BEA. I just wasn’t in the mood for anything then. Haydu’s was, perhaps, especially hard to take. I was afraid that I wouldn’t enjoy Life by Committee, which I’d so much been looking forwards to after Haydu’s hard-hitting and painful debut novel, OCD Love Story. Coming back to it a few months later, I was in the right head space to appreciate Haydu’s unflinching look at the painful parts of teenage life.

As she doesn’t look like trouble, she can have all the sex she wants and still have friends.

Two things I think can be counted on when embarking on a Haydu book: 1) the main character probably won’t always be the most sympathetic character in the world and 2) the things the main character is dealing with are going to be big and painful. On the surface, I think it would be easy to dismiss Life by Committee as a novel of teenage infidelity. Certainly, that’s the issue that presents itself right away, and the one from the cover. Tabitha is engaging in a flirtation with Joe, a hockey player, who claims to be equally smitten, despite the girlfriend. They have epic late night chats and talk about everything. She thinks she’s in love and that he’ll dump his girlfriend Sasha for her any day now.

I am a new shape. They hate that shape.

It is obvious, to the reader, that this is not a good situation. Sure, it’s not Tabby’s job to worry about the health of Joe’s relationship; the cheating is his fault and his alone. However, Tabby’s not aiming just for kisses; she wants love. Tabby actually even knows that she’s probably making mistakes, but she’s too into Joe and too desperate for someone to love her that she can’t think rationally about it.

Tabby only has one friend now, Elise. They’re not as close as Tabby was with Jemma, her former best friend. The loss of a best friend can be as painful as any break up and Tabby’s suffering. Jemma dumped her for not staying the same, for becoming pretty, for dressing differently, for wanting to do things with boys. Tabby grew some large breasts and suddenly she has a reputation to go with them and even her best friend won’t stand by her side. While she changed physically, Tabby doesn’t feel different on the inside and, in fact, tries very hard to remain true to the core of herself, if only to prove how shallow Jemma’s being. Unfortunately, it’s not really working for Tabby, because no one is paying attention to who she is rather than what she looks like except for Joe. Elise might, but Jemma’s too afraid of losing her only friend to risk that with honesty about the Joe situation.

Further destabilizing Tabby is the baby on the way. Tabby’s parents, Cate and Paul, raised Tabby sort of as an equal. Think of the as cool parents, who had her when they were teens themselves. Now, though, with the new kid on the way, there are changes happening. Cate wants Paul to smoke less pot, for one, which is resulting in a lot of fights in what has previously been a low key family. Also, Tabby feels like she’s being replaced. She was the test run, but they’re going to do things right with this baby. She feels like she’s lost everyone except for Joe. She thinks he sees her. It’s a heady, powerful thing.

It’s short and I feel good in it, which I’ve decided must be wrong.

How much does this quote make you ache? This. THIS is Tabby. Everything she is seems to be wrong. All of Tabitha is disappointing and upsetting to friends and family. When Joe doesn’t fulfill her dreams, she feels entirely rootless. In this desperate condition, Tabby finds a copy of The Secret Garden with notes in the margins by someone else (finding such used books is a favorite hobby of Tabby and Paul). The notes speak to her and include a link to a strange website. In a fit of sadness after something doesn’t go as desired with Joe, Tabby joins the site.

Here is where the title comes in. The site is called Life by Committee. To be a member, you must share at least one secret every week. The small community offers feedback and support until the moderator, Zed, gives you an assignment. The assignment must be completed within 24 hours, no matter what it is. Life by Committee is intended to help them out of their rut and make them dare everything. They’ll live better. That’s the promise.

As you might expect, Tabby becomes obsessed with Life by Committee. While I have some minor suspension of disbelief issues with the website itself, I one hundred percent get Tabby’s obsession with such a thing. A girl who thinks everything she does is wrong would crave this sort of assistance. She doesn’t feel like she can trust herself and these people will tell her the magical secret way to happiness. Obviously, most people are going to immediately look askance at all of this, but for people like Tabby it appears a safe haven. Within LBC, she finds acceptance and motivation.

“The way you’re dressing, Tabitha,” Mrs. Drake says, uncrossing her legs and leaning in closer to me. “The way you’re carrying yourself. Now, we’re not stodgy old fuddy-duddies here. We’re not conservatives, of course. And you have the freedom to dress how you want.”

“But?” I say.

“But I’m concerned about your relationships with other girls and maybe that you are being …naive.”

“Naive,” I say. No question mark. No need for her to answer. My legs itch all of a sudden, and I try to scratch with just one finger, but it’s not enough. I start scratching my thigh kinda voraciously.

“Do you feel comfortable with the way you’ve been dressing?” Mrs. Drake says. Her eyes go to my thighs. It doesn’t seem to matter that they are covered in tights.

This was a conversation between Tabby and her school guidance counselor, who called Tabby into her office. She’s being slut-shamed even by the administration of the school. Haydu’s dealing heavily with slut-shaming and gossip in Life by Committee. They wear Tabby down and bring everything to Tabby breaking down. You can see the slut-shaming from others and the way that it affects Tabby’s own opinion of herself.

The resolution for Tabby is a beautiful thing. Though I wasn’t really emotionally tied into Tabby, I teared up during the big scene in the auditorium. I have trouble imagining something like that happening outside of fiction, but it carries a powerful message nonetheless: often, the secrets we keep end up being a bigger burden than honesty. On the other hand, I really don’t like the lack of resolution with the LBC site. View Spoiler »

Haydu’s Life by Committee is the perfect read for readers who enjoy novels that get at the painful truths of high school. If you’re into Courtney Summers’ stuff, you’ll probably enjoy Life by Committee. ( )

Life in a small town is tough. It's even tougher when your best friends turn on you for reasons you don't understand. And when they insist on hanging around at the coffee shop your parents run? It makes the drama inescapable. But that's how things are for Tabitha, the main character in Corey Ann Haydu's LIFE BY COMMITTEE. And it's probably the reason that she joins the website Life By Committee, an online community that challenges its members to take chances and be more free-spirited.

Sure, Tabitha has made some poor choices. But it's not her fault that her body changed. And it's not like it's a terrible thing that, sometimes, she'd rather talk about guys than homework. And it's not her fault that her guy friend is kind of hitting on her even though he has a (pretty popular) girlfriend. It's when she acts on it that it becomes a problem. And, when Life By Committee challenges her to continue pursuing her crush despite the damage it could cause her relationships, Tabitha feels like she has no choice but to do what they ask. Because that's the rules of LBC. To stay a member, you have to complete assignments. And if you don't? Your secrets go public. And Tabitha has plenty of secrets. Her young parents are fighting over her father's pot use, she's definitely seeing a guy she shouldn't be, and her only friend left in school is gay -- and doesn't want anyone to know. LBC seemed like a good thing. It pushed Tabitha to take risks and break out of her shell. But now Tabitha isn't so sure her new friends are all such great people. And she's in too deep to do anything about it.

Like a much more granola Pretty Little Liars, LIFE BY COMMITTEE is an unputdownable contemporary YA with a refreshingly realistic voice and a real sense of urgency. While there's a romantic element, this is really a story about friendships and family, and the pressure we put on ourselves to please others. And while it tackles some heavy topics, this is a book with a sense of fun. This is a novel that readers who like their drama with a lot of heart will just love. ( )

Review courtesy of Dark Faerie Tales

Quick & Dirty: An enjoyable and original contemporary read with themes of coming of age and discovering yourself.

Opening Sentence: “Hey, Tabitha? I have a secret”, Joe types.

The Review:

Tabitha went through changes as she grew, much like everyone else. She was fortunate, receiving an hourglass shape and a gorgeous face. Unlike her other classmates, however, Tabitha’s new style and body have made her shunned from her peers, her friends… and her home life isn’t much better. Introducing her stoner father and her pregnant mother! Chats online with Joe, a boy with a girlfriend, are her only escape into a place with love from another or is it just lust? And then she finds something online. Joining the elusive website Life By Committee is supposed to make her bolder, stronger, and by the end of the book secrets will be spilled and people will get hurt.

Tabitha was a strong point of view. Her thoughts were teenage thoughts and easy for me especially to understand. During the end, though, her ideas get jumbled. I start finding it harder to get where she’s going with the deep mental epiphanies and I only get that clarity back when the novel reaches the last few chapters. But besides the confusion towards the middle, Tabitha delivers a very original personality in a very original book.

I must say, contemporaries can sometimes be harder to read than other books, especially if it’s the same boy meets girl with a little drama mixed in here and there: a best friend’s betrayal, lies from the parents, huge fight between the love interests. You get my point. It’s hard to write an original plotline for a contemporary, and though I’ve experienced many an ah-maz-ing contemporary (Tease, The Fault in Our Stars) there have also been the iffy ones mixed in. But a shady website, secret relationship, bingo! Here we have a unique plotline with lots of hooks to keep reading and cool characters that I loved getting to know.

Some major plot twists toward the end kept me guessing. I was really excited by certain scenes that made my heart melt a tiny bit, and scenes that made it flame in anger. Yes, I became emotionally invested in Life By Committee. It gave me something to think about and was a thought-provoking read. It you love the gushy, cutesy conversations between love interests, check out something else, though; this book I enjoyed for the moral of the story and the beautiful friendships and relationships that were formed and broken. It’s more focused on testing your limits, being brave and bold but being you, finding yourself, that sort of thing. Also, this novel was full of fights that kept me reading, but not too many that it became redundant.

Life By Committee was an enjoyable read. A contemporary for those who would like to open up something different, not just romance based, about knowing yourself. Tabitha’s struggles stayed with me for awhile after closing the book, and though I will admit the novel had problems, it is worth your time. The ending was unexpected but not to the point that it was stupid, or cheesy —- things clicked into place and made sense.

Notable Scene:

Secret: I kissed someone else’s boyfriend.

FTC Advisory: Katherine Tegen Books/HarperCollins provided me with a copy of Life by Committee. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review. ( )