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The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (1999)

by Joshua Piven, David Borgenicht (Author)

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Showing 1-5 of 13 (next | show all)
The title says it all. The authors consulted experts in a variety of fields and compiled a list of unlikely "worst-case scenarios" and how to survive them. The survival tips are clear and concise. The book also contains illustrations of the recommended survival techniques. ( )
  diovival | Oct 14, 2013 |
Weirdly fun little book. I think meant as a joke book, even if the information within it is actually serious. I mean, open the cover and facing you is an illustration of a fist punching the snout of an alligator. It's divided into five sections: Great Escapes and Entrances, The Best Defense, Leaps of Faith, Emergencies and Adventure Survival. It involves such scenarios as "How to Escape from Quicksand," "How to Escape from Killer Bees," "How to Jump from a Bridge or Cliff into a River," "How to Identify a Bomb," and "How to Land a Plane." In other words, the kind of situations you're much more likely to find in a Hollywood script than real life. Which is amusing for arch chair adventurers and useful for fiction writers. Although there are some scenarios you might more likely encounter--such as how to avoid being struck by lightning--avoid high places, open fields, trees, bodies of water, etc. It's all supposedly written by experts--so enjoy the read, and who knows, this might save your life. You never know when that bear or shark might threaten! ( )
  LisaMaria_C | Sep 13, 2013 |
This book was all the rage as a graduation gift during my last few years of high school, so predictably I received a copy when I graduated high school. I was never sure whether it was supposed to be serious or a spoof until I finally read it. Indeed, the book is meant to be serious (well, mostly serious), although I think the giving of it to me in particular was meant to be a spoof. The book is chock full of information that I would never need (or never remember if by some bizarre chance I would need it), like how to fend off a mountain lion attack. Still, I found it oddly entertaining and couldn't put it down once I finally started reading it. It's probably of greatest benefit to hikers, campers, and other outdoors-y people, but I still reserve a space for it on my shelves, too. ( )
  sweetiegherkin | Oct 17, 2010 |
This book gives very practical, simple, easy-to-follow advice for very impractical, complicated, and hard-to-deal-with situations. Though I hope to never end up in any of these situations, I definitely feel more prepared now. Important memories from the book: triangles are a sign of distress. If you need rescue make one that's visible. Fight a mountain lion, shark, or alligator, but not a bear. Get out of your sinking car ASAP! You can float on quicksand. Babies usually deliver themselves, but have clean things ready to wrap them in. Run in zigzags to escape being shot. ( )
  the1butterfly | May 6, 2010 |
First off, before I get to the review, I have to say that this is a great read! It does inform a lot, but it's also funny. Sure, some of the things may seem far fetched and you'll never have to use them. That being said, some of them could come in useful. The one that jumps out at most useful is if your car is sinking. That was a very interesting read. Some others are could be useful, but a lot of them is something that I'd never need, but it was an entertaining read. I'll go over a few of them.

How to break into a car. The best and funniest part was at the end when the authors said, "This is to break into your own car." *LOL*

How to hot-wire a car. I had to laugh at the first sentence: Lift that hood. Dang! That's what I was doing wrong all of these years, I never opened the hood. D'OH!!

How to fend off a shark. They forgot to mention one thing that I'd do.....wet my bathing suit! I'm sure that would deter a shark. If I wet my suit, the shark would be like, "Yo! That's nasty, what's the matter with you!? Freak!"

How to wrestle free from an alligator. Now *this* could come in handy. How many times does an alligator come up to you and start pushing you around just because he's all big and tough? In the past, I'd run off because it's an alligator. HA! Now the joke is on him. I'll know how to deal with him. When a gator rolls up on me actin' all tough, I'll be like, "Yo, back up b*tch! Best you get steppin' or I'll turn you into boots, belt and a wallet chump! That's right, keep walkin'." Then, I'll do some rude hand gesture, just show him who's boss. What can I say, that's how I roll.

How to take a punch. Okay, as useful as this was, it didn't cover everything. It mentioned, the gut and jaw, ect...but...what about a punch to the privates?? Hey, that's happens to me more than you think. I'll be walking minding my own business, then KA-POW!! Right in the package! I mean, we have to protect the family jewels, right??

How to Perform a Tracheotomy:It said, I'll need a knife. What, all of a sudden I'm MacGYVER now?? I have to carry a pocket knife with me at all times?? I'm sure the police will love that. I can see it now, "But officer, you don't understand. I need my knife incase if I have to perform a Tracheotomy. Boy won't you feel stupid if I have to perform one, and because of you, I don't have my handy-dandy knife."

How to maneuver on top of a moving train and get inside: Come on, doesn't that happen to all of us?

How to deliver a baby in a taxi cab: I know all about making them....now I know how to deliver them.

How to treat a bullet or a knife wound: Now I'm all set. I know how to do this. I can see it now. I'm walking down the street (after kicking an alligators butt) then KA-PRANG someone is shot and on the ground. I can jump into action. Someone might say, "But there's a hospital next door, look, there it is, right there." I'll say, "Damn it man, I'm not a GPS system, but I can get that bullet out! Where's my knife??"

How to land a plane: Okay, this was interesting! If I'm on a plane, and one of the flying waitresses comes running out in a panic with her hair all mussed up from being all extra panicy, yelling, "Both pilots are dead, can someone land this plane?? Heeeeeeeelpppp!!! I can jump up and say, "Fear now you flying waitress, I'll save the day! Get me a head set and a diet coke!" Okay, I don't need the diet coke, but heck, I do likes that beverage.

How to survive if your parachute doesn't open: If that happens and your back up parachute doesn't open....well...yer pretty much screwed.

How to get to the surface if your scuba tank runs out of air: Um..... I'll take a guess..... you could....let's see....maybe swim to the surface? Just a thought.

In all honesty, it was an entertaining read! Get it and you won't be sorry. ( )
1 vote Reacherfan | Feb 12, 2010 |
Showing 1-5 of 13 (next | show all)
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Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Joshua Pivenprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Borgenicht, DavidAuthormain authorall editionsconfirmed
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Warning: When a life is imperiled or a dire situation is at hand, safe alternatives may not exist.
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Check out www.worstcasescenarios.com for additional survival tips, updates, and more. Because you just never know...
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Amazon.com Amazon.com Review (ISBN 0811825558, Paperback)

How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator: 4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.

Though it's being marketed as a humorous title--after all, it's unlikely you'll be called upon to land a plane, jump from a motorcycle to a moving car, or win a swordfight--the information contained in The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is all quite sound. Authors Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht consulted numerous experts in their fields (they're cited at the end of the book) to discover how to survive various and sundry awful events. Parachute doesn't open? Your best bet for survival is to hook your arms through the straps of a fellow jumper's chute--and even then you're likely to dislocate both shoulders and break both legs. Car sinking in water? Open the window immediately to equalize pressure, then open the car door and swim to the surface. Buried in an avalanche? Spit on the snow--it will tell you which direction is really up. Then dig as fast as you can.

Each survival skill is explained in simple steps with helpful illustrations. Most stress the need to be prepared--both mentally and physically. For example, to escape from quicksand, you will need to lay a pole on the surface of the quicksand, flop on your back atop the pole, and pull your legs out one by one. No pole? No luck. "When walking in quicksand country, carry a stout pole--it will help you get out should you need to."

Hopefully you'll never need to know how to build a fire without matches, perform a tracheotomy, or treat a bullet wound. But in the words of survival evasion resistance escape instructor "Mountain" Mel Deweese, "You never know." --Sunny Delaney

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:53:34 -0400)

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Experts provide step-by-step instructions for escaping from, avoiding, or surviving a wide range of dire situations.

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