The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (1999)

This book was all the rage as a graduation gift during my last few years of high school, so predictably I received a copy when I graduated high school. I was never sure whether it was supposed to be serious or a spoof until I finally read it. Indeed, the book is meant to be serious (well, mostly serious), although I think the giving of it to me in particular was meant to be a spoof. The book is chock full of information that I would never need (or never remember if by some bizarre chance I would need it), like how to fend off a mountain lion attack. Still, I found it oddly entertaining and couldn't put it down once I finally started reading it. It's probably of greatest benefit to hikers, campers, and other outdoors-y people, but I still reserve a space for it on my shelves, too. ( )

This book gives very practical, simple, easy-to-follow advice for very impractical, complicated, and hard-to-deal-with situations. Though I hope to never end up in any of these situations, I definitely feel more prepared now. Important memories from the book: triangles are a sign of distress. If you need rescue make one that's visible. Fight a mountain lion, shark, or alligator, but not a bear. Get out of your sinking car ASAP! You can float on quicksand. Babies usually deliver themselves, but have clean things ready to wrap them in. Run in zigzags to escape being shot. ( )

First off, before I get to the review, I have to say that this is a great read! It does inform a lot, but it's also funny. Sure, some of the things may seem far fetched and you'll never have to use them. That being said, some of them could come in useful. The one that jumps out at most useful is if your car is sinking. That was a very interesting read. Some others are could be useful, but a lot of them is something that I'd never need, but it was an entertaining read. I'll go over a few of them.

How to break into a car. The best and funniest part was at the end when the authors said, "This is to break into your own car." *LOL*

How to hot-wire a car. I had to laugh at the first sentence: Lift that hood. Dang! That's what I was doing wrong all of these years, I never opened the hood. D'OH!!

How to fend off a shark. They forgot to mention one thing that I'd do.....wet my bathing suit! I'm sure that would deter a shark. If I wet my suit, the shark would be like, "Yo! That's nasty, what's the matter with you!? Freak!"

How to wrestle free from an alligator. Now *this* could come in handy. How many times does an alligator come up to you and start pushing you around just because he's all big and tough? In the past, I'd run off because it's an alligator. HA! Now the joke is on him. I'll know how to deal with him. When a gator rolls up on me actin' all tough, I'll be like, "Yo, back up b*tch! Best you get steppin' or I'll turn you into boots, belt and a wallet chump! That's right, keep walkin'." Then, I'll do some rude hand gesture, just show him who's boss. What can I say, that's how I roll.

How to take a punch. Okay, as useful as this was, it didn't cover everything. It mentioned, the gut and jaw, ect...but...what about a punch to the privates?? Hey, that's happens to me more than you think. I'll be walking minding my own business, then KA-POW!! Right in the package! I mean, we have to protect the family jewels, right??

How to Perform a Tracheotomy:It said, I'll need a knife. What, all of a sudden I'm MacGYVER now?? I have to carry a pocket knife with me at all times?? I'm sure the police will love that. I can see it now, "But officer, you don't understand. I need my knife incase if I have to perform a Tracheotomy. Boy won't you feel stupid if I have to perform one, and because of you, I don't have my handy-dandy knife."

How to maneuver on top of a moving train and get inside: Come on, doesn't that happen to all of us?

How to deliver a baby in a taxi cab: I know all about making them....now I know how to deliver them.

How to treat a bullet or a knife wound: Now I'm all set. I know how to do this. I can see it now. I'm walking down the street (after kicking an alligators butt) then KA-PRANG someone is shot and on the ground. I can jump into action. Someone might say, "But there's a hospital next door, look, there it is, right there." I'll say, "Damn it man, I'm not a GPS system, but I can get that bullet out! Where's my knife??"

How to land a plane: Okay, this was interesting! If I'm on a plane, and one of the flying waitresses comes running out in a panic with her hair all mussed up from being all extra panicy, yelling, "Both pilots are dead, can someone land this plane?? Heeeeeeeelpppp!!! I can jump up and say, "Fear now you flying waitress, I'll save the day! Get me a head set and a diet coke!" Okay, I don't need the diet coke, but heck, I do likes that beverage.

How to survive if your parachute doesn't open: If that happens and your back up parachute doesn't open....well...yer pretty much screwed.

How to get to the surface if your scuba tank runs out of air: Um..... I'll take a guess..... you could....let's see....maybe swim to the surface? Just a thought.

In all honesty, it was an entertaining read! Get it and you won't be sorry. ( )

I'm feeling pretty smug that I already have a pretty good idea of how to escape from a sinking car, quicksand, treat a snake bite, survive a shipwreck, deal with a bear or cougar, avoid getting shot at (run away as quickly as possible - it actually says that).

I chose not to study the section on landing an airplane. It sounded easier-said-than-done.

A very short, somewhat amusing (without trying to be) book. ( )

I'm a worrier- this helps me worry less. I think this may be the only recorded instance of the giving of this book as a non-gag gift. ( )