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The Botox Diaries: A Novel by Janice Kaplan

The Botox Diaries: A Novel

by Janice Kaplan, Lynn Schnurnberger

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I got this book at a 10 for $30 sale a few months ago. And the more I read through those books, the more I realize how similar they are.

The Botox Diariesis about Jess and Lucy, both 40 something best friends. Jess is simple. She doesn’t like to spend a lot on clothes, is single and fighting the urge to get back with her ex and won’t touch the botox. Lucy, on the other hand, is a network tv producer who gets caught up in an affair with one of televisions most popular tv show hosts. Jess tries to help Lucy get back on the right track and away from her lustrous affair while trying to find a good man for herself.

The reason I say this is so much like a lot of the books I’ve read lately is because much like One Fifth Avenue, we’re dealing with wealthy people who live in NY and have affairs. And they’re in their 40s. I don’t know why I’m attracted to these books, well, yes I do: They have pretty colors and titles. I absolutely hate infidelity but I’m draw to the drama of them in books.

I wrote down a lot of things while reading this book, including what I used Tuesday as my teaser.

Pg 1: “Champagne corks are popping and it’s only five a.m.”

That line just struck a cord with me. Who wouldn’t love to live this life? I mean, I don’t like 5 a.m. at all and recently that what time I’ve been getting up even though my alarm is set for 9:30. Maybe my mind keeps thinking about this and hoping I’ll wake up to champagne – good luck with that.

As I get older, I realize that no matter how old you are, there will always be cliques. And this book proved it with the “Alpha Moms” and the line that reads:

Pg 26: “Cliquey girls don’t go away — they just get older.”

This is so true. I don’t notice it is as much as I did in school, but they’re still there. I see it on Facebook and when we go out.

I have never really thought much of Botox. 1. I am 23. 2. I can’t imagine spending money on something like yet. Yes, I already am noticing wrinkles, but I’m stingy with money. Maybe if I look like an English Bulldog in a few years, I’ll change my mind. But until then I’ll laugh at quotes like this:

Pg 184: “‘A little Botox on the forehead. Some Cymetra under the cheekbone. A couple of shots of Restylane around the lips. And CosmoDerm to fill in the laugh lines around your eyes. You’re lucky, not too much damage yet. Two, three dozen injections tops and we’re done.’”

Cracks me up. That is A LOT of injections. I guess for a Botox doctor though, the more you pump into a face, the more you get to add to your fund for a new “weekend” house.

I love, love, loved that there was a parent sex-ed class in this book. There is nothing like that at the school where I went. We barely had sex ed, let alone did our parents attend a class and learn how to properly condom a banana.

This book was pretty cute and had a lot of great characters from Boulder, the want to be famous surfer, to Jaques, the French ex who is always will be a tool.

I have read a couple of Janice Kaplan books before, and I really like her style. She’s fun, hip and I love that she uses real things. She uses real stores, real cars, and real people. It’s fiction that I can relate to.

I didn’t however crave this book. Yes, I know I just told you some amazing things that would make you think I absolutely loved it, but I didn’t. It may be once again that I am in wedding-mode and am not really focusing. But this book was just ok. I give it 3 bookmarks. ( )
  kariannalysis | Oct 30, 2009 |
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Kaplan, Janiceprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Schnurnberger, Lynnmain authorall editionsconfirmed
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0345468589, Paperback)

In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. “My body is a temple,” Lucy explains. “I just don’t want it to crumble like St. John the Divine.”
Jess and Lucy’s friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to “Kindest Cut” one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren’t just for men—they’re equal-opportunity dilemmas.
To Jess’s dismay, Lucy announces that she’s taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy’s too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life—and in her bed.

Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything—from an orgy in Willie Nelson’s trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder.
Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women’s midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun?

From the Hardcover edition.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:09:21 -0400)

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SUMMARY: In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully.… (more)

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