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I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch by Shirley Lueth
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I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch (1981)

by Shirley Lueth

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To my husband Lee, and the prayer-and-peanut-butter gang...this is your book. Thank you for letting me write it.
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There was a time when I considered myself a cheerful, pleasant, polite, and gracious person.
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She thought marriage would be spent between Las Vegas, Paris, and the Hawaiian Islands, dancing at Inaugural Balls and fighting off lewd advances from movie stars. Little did she know her glamorous moments would be centered around planning Cub Scout Banquets with no lewd glances from anyone except the Cubmaster - and he's her husband! She has seven kids and craves complete isolation from detergent boxes, tinker toys, and pairs of raveled underwear. Before going to sleep at night she asks Whoever Is Up There to forgive her for being such a cross, lousy mother so often during the day and promises she will do better...Then she wakes up in the morning to find that someone has dumped all the expensive chocolates in the dog's dish and it starts all over again. Shirley Lueth didn't plan to be a witch - it just turned out that way.
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