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666: The Final Warning by Gary Blevins

666: The Final Warning

by Gary Blevins

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This may be the most hilarious "end times" book ever published, and that is saying something.

Weighing in at just under 500 pages, this spectacularly vapid tome insists with breathless urgency and abundant underlining that, according to the Bible, the 1990s are almost guaran-dang-teed to be the last seven years of history. (Uh, hang on. What year is this?)

The author was at the time of publication the founder of a financial services firm in Kingsport, Tennessee. Maybe this affinity for numbers helps explain his passion for numerology, a major feature of the book. Blevins painstakingly spells out countless phrases that, so he finds, can be reduced to the portentous number 666. (My personal favorite: BRAIN OF REAGAN.)

It's a hefty book, but pictures and white space account for a lot of padding. Blevins seems to lack stamina as a writer: In lieu of transitions, he inserts capitalized subheads after every third or fourth paragraph. No one can accuse him of narrow-mindedness, however. Besides the Bible and his own febrile imagination, our author draws liberally on occult hocus-pocus such as a "Zodiacal clock" that is supposed to be counting down to Doomsday even as you read these lines right here. (I thought the Doomsday Clock belonged to the League of Concerned Scientists, but never mind.)

In case all this is not diverting enough, the text is spiced throughout with ludicrous misspellings (a man called "Noe" built the ark) and other astonishing displays of eccentricity.

To crown the project with even more glory, the Foreword is contributed by a man who calls himself Texe Marrs. No, not Tex. Texe.
  Muscogulus | Sep 7, 2012 |
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