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Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why…

Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the… (original 2006; edition 2006)

by Dave Barry

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2951238,041 (3.6)8
Title:Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?
Authors:Dave Barry
Info:Three Rivers Press (2006), Paperback, 240 pages
Collections:Audio, Listened to
Tags:Audio, Listened 2012

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Dave Barry's Money Secrets : Like, Why is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar? by Dave Barry (2006)



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Showing 1-5 of 12 (next | show all)
Basically about what you'd expect from Dave when he turns his humour-columnist gaze to the world of finance: plenty of jokes about Donald Trump, recurring gags involving photographs that are attributed to incongruous sources, and amusing anecdotes from his own life (especially ones that make him look silly). I was particularly amused by his thesis of "Furniture-Induced Brain Shrinkage": the idea that corporate executives make boneheaded decisions because they are surrounded by high concentrations of nice office furniture. And if you've read his books on turning 50 or raising children, you'll nod in recognition when he discusses the high costs of college tuition and the perilous state of Social Security. This book is probably worth reading if you're a completist, but if you're new to Dave you'll probably want to try a collection of his columns first. ( )
1 vote rabbitprincess | Jun 25, 2013 |
My blog post about this book is at this link . ( )
  SuziQoregon | Mar 31, 2013 |
One of Barry's funniest books, all original material. ( )
  wdwilson3 | Dec 24, 2012 |
Dave Barry is funny as always, but this book seems to lose focus and get (really far) off the topic on a regular basis. Good material, doesn't always go with the theme. ( )
  Unreachableshelf | Feb 20, 2012 |
I got this copy at a book signing in KC.
  personman | Nov 18, 2009 |
Showing 1-5 of 12 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (3 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Dave Barryprimary authorall editionscalculated
Henderson, LennyDesignersecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Wax, BillCover photographersecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
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This book is dedicated to all the people of the world, on the theory that they will respond by thinking: "Wow! A book dedicated to me. I should buy a copy."
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Perhaps you're a young person just getting started in life.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0307351009, Paperback)

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:

• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler
• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money
• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser
• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider
• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)
• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate
• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating
• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one
• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any
• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death
• And many, many pictures of Suze Orman

But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.

What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you.

Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return.

What is your annual income?
1. More than $50,000.
2. Less than $50,000.
3. However much I get when I return these empties.

Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?
1. Less than $10,000.
2. More than $10,000.
3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs.

How would you describe your portfolio?
1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.
2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.
3. My what?

When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?
1. The amount of return.
2. The degree of risk.
3. The name of the jockey.

How do you plan to finance your retirement?
1. Savings.
2. Social security.
3. Sale of kidneys.

—from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book”

Also available as a Crown eBook.

From the Hardcover edition.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:13:56 -0400)

(see all 3 descriptions)

The popular humorist explores the world of finance, sharing his unique advice on the stock market, the art of making and losing money, furniture in the CEO's office, getting rich in real estate, and the financial benefits of an early death.

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