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Take a Look by Gene Taylor
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Take a Look

by Gene Taylor

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A Hearts On Fire Review

TWO HEARTS--Expect a ton of sugar, cheese and ellipses

Gene Taylor's "Take a Look" is a story about two neighbor twenty-somethings that fall into instant insta-love (one of the fastest I've read). Grant is blind, gay and full of schmaltzy humor. He writes a critique column in the local newspaper. While moving into his new apartment building, he meets his gay neighbor, Jordan. The two instantaneously hit off, know what the other is thinking and swap some pretty cheesy, corny jokes. It was like being in a third rate comedy club with all the exits sealed shut.

The two basically move in with each other the next day, have no major issues and carry on their jokey, hokey schmoop filled bliss. Then Grant writes a less than stellar review for a restaurant. A mafia-like attack happens to add suspense? Then it is resolved off scene and the lads continue their cheese fest into a true fairy tale like HEA (Hint: a disability disappears)

Now I am a girl who loves to have a good laugh and use ellipses. But Grant and Jordan were not believable as twenty somethings. Their dialogue read way older, maybe if they were fifty somethings, I'd buy it. It's lame one liners after cheese. And the ellipses abuse. I love a good set of ellipsis. But having more than five on a page should be a crime. There were ellipses exploded throughout the entire story. I don't know how the two could fall for each other if they're trying to one up each other with bad jokes.

And the "gangster" plot device? You're telling me a mafia type kidnapping/ beat down happens because someone complained about the cleanliness of the restaurant's restrooms? And gangsters speak like this:

"This is a gun pointed right at your spine. Do as I tell you, or I'll shoot. Even if you were to survive the shot, your spine would be shattered so you'd never walk again. Understand?"

What happened to 'make a sound or you're dead'? Something short and to the point? The bad guys were a little long winded and fantastical. Plus the gangsters grab Jordan instead of Grant after stalking him for days. So not only do they resort to extremes for one sort of bad review, they mess up with nabbing the intended victim. Even the main character commented on the act:

"Wow. I can't believe this. It sounds like something out of a bad gangster movie."

*sigh*

The schmaltz continued, the lame jokes persevered and the bad guys meet a mysteriously extreme end.

This story would be best for a reader that enjoys light, schmoop with practically no angst and no depth. And one liners. Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!!!" ( )
  SheReadsALot | Jun 20, 2016 |
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