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Giraffes? Giraffes! by Doris Haggis-on-Whey
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This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. Its beautifully illustrated and aimed at impressionable children who may well believe any old lies thrown at them as facts rather than discerning adults who may well doubt that giraffes came here directly from Neptune. Rather than continue with my thoughts, I will just add the book description:"For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar-pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books aimed at children but filled with ludicrous misinformation. These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their ways into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough, but would read as if written by people who have eaten too many lead-based paint chips. "Giraffes? Giraffes!" is the first in a proposed series of 377 reference books, all written by a couple now getting their chance to twist and tickle the brains of the impressionable. The book puts forth the following novel theories: that giraffes were not part of any evolutionary chain, but came here from Neptune, by way of very long (but convenient and fast) escalators; that giraffes are expert dancers, but become angry if asked about their dancing; that giraffes control over 90 percent of what we see in mirrors; and that the Giraffe navy is as strong as ever, contrary to recent claims in the popular press." ( )
  Savondujour | Jan 30, 2009 |
Possibly the most heartfelt and eloquent book ever written about Giraffes. ( )
1 vote DameMuriel | Jan 26, 2008 |
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Amazon.com Book Description (ISBN 0743267265, Hardcover)

For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered  and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books aimed at children but filled with ludicrous misinformation. These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough, but would read as if written by people who have eaten too many lead-based paint chips.

Well, sadly, that day is upon us. We offer to you the first in a proposed series of 377 reference books, all written by a couple, Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, married 50 years and now getting their chance to twist and tickle the brains of the impressionable.

Giraffes? Giraffes! is the first in the series, and puts forth the following novel theories: that giraffes were not part of any evolutionary chain, but came here from Neptune, by way of very long (but convenient and fast) escalators; that giraffes are expert dancers, but they become angry if you ask them about their dancing; that giraffes control over 90% of what we see in mirrors; that the Giraffe Navy is as strong as ever, contrary to recent claims in the popular press.

This is a book to be feared. If you have young people in your life, keep it far away from them.

Giraffes? Giraffes! is a 9" x 12" hardcover reference book, with 64 lavishly-illustrated pages, and includes a set of giraffe trading cards carefully attached to the inside back cover. Cover is blue faux-leather, de-bossed with gold foil detail and a special 4-color illustration.

Doctor-approved for all age groups.

(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:57:52 -0400)

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