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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of…
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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your… (original 1999; edition 2003)

by Rosenberg Marshall

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1,265206,244 (4.23)8
Member:sammimag
Title:Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with
Authors:Rosenberg Marshall
Info:Puddledancer Press (2003), Edition: 2nd, Paperback
Collections:Your library, Read but unowned
Rating:*****
Tags:communication, non-fiction

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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg (1999)

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Showing 1-5 of 13 (next | show all)
You know, this is full of ideas that have already seeped into national consciousness written in a far-out peacenik style... but there really is something "there" there. It's that rule about expressing yourself using "I" phrases, not "you" phrases, extended to talking specifically about observations, feelings and needs, and extended again to listening to others in a way that lets them express themselves fully, and extended again to avoiding generic judgments even in praise. Really good stuff aligned with my beliefs in privileging verbs over nouns, for all it sometimes reads as hokey (or -- ahem -- when I read references to things like God or screaming "nonviolently", I felt dismissive, because I need some intellectual heft to really respect a book).

My biggest and favorite insight from this book was that many of the things we naively label "feelings" are not actually feelings. For instance, "I feel unloved," "I feel ignored," or "I feel supported" -- these are all judgments about the other person's actions (sometimes even attacks) cloaked as feelings. True feelings don't imply the other person is the cause -- they are more like "I feel depressed," "I feel lonely", or "I feel content." (I suspect that any of these could be taken as judgments too, honestly, but they are much less likely to be taken that way, because grammatically they aren't derived from objects of verbs.)

A Maya Angelou quote that's been everywhere the past few months speaks to me and this book: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." This is a book about making people feel. Make of it what you will. ( )
  pammab | Sep 5, 2014 |
This book provides people with a way to express their needs congruently, without blame and also a way of listening so others feel not just heard, but understood.
  uufnn | Jul 15, 2014 |
After borrowing this book from the public library I really want to purchase it myself. I felt Marshall B. Rosenberg did a fine job communicating his ideals. This should not have surprised me as Rosenberg has made almost all of his money communicating with others on how to communicate. At first I thought NVC was a really cheesy idea because "no one talks like that" and I still think it can be ridiculous if taken to the extreme. I certainly see how, when used correctly NVC can better ones life and interactions with others. However, I'm finding that when the opportunity arises I am often having difficulty remembering the stops that Marshall B. Rosenberg taught. Partially it could be the difference of Rosenberg being strait and to the point, unlike the 19th century libertarian philosophers I have been reading lately. He is not repeating himself again and again. So this certainly has advantages and disadvantages. I also found myself while reading of it, allowing my mind to wonder into how others can use it, like my parents, instead of focusing on how I can better my life by using NVC. So its on my wishlist for myself so that I can quickly and easily reference and may decide to get for others too. ( )
1 vote fulner | Sep 21, 2013 |
This book is helping my understand my heartbreak with religion/Islam. ( )
1 vote MochiMama | Aug 21, 2013 |
I have the benefit of reading this book in conjunction with a class. Had I not had a weekly practice session, to discuss various chapters, I may not have gotten as much out of it, but I am incredibly grateful that I have had the chance to read (and understand at least a portion of) this book.

There are basic steps, as there are in any self-help book, on how to better navigate your life, and while I am not yet a natural at NVC, I hope to become a more frequent user of it. In the driver's seat (that of the speaker), the form of 1)Observation 2)Feeling 3)Unmet Need 4)Request is helpful, though difficult to make fluent (especially when trying to not put any of the true power of your feelings into the other person - ie not "When you do W, I feel X, because I need Y from you. Could you stop being an asshat (Z)?)

Perhaps more important for me in this book though, is the exploration of empathetic listening. Working to truly understand the other person's feelings and unmet needs is what I hope will make me a better mother, friend, and partner. ( )
2 vote HippieLunatic | Apr 22, 2013 |
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Book description
Nonviolent Communication is a simple process that facilitates the flow of communication necessary to exchange information and resolve differences compassionately. It is based on identifying universaly shared standards and needs. NVC can be practically applied in educational institutions, business and industry, social service agencies and politically charged situations, as well as family and personal relationships.

Nonviolent Communication encourages people to use language that increases goodwill. It teaches people how to avoid language that creates resentment or lowers self esteem. It emphasizes compassion as the motivation for actions, rather than fear, guilt, shame or blame. It also emphasizes personal responsibility for our choices. Nonviolent Communication can be used effectively even without the other person's or group's knowledge of the process.

Marshall Rosenberg has rediscovered the lost language of humankind, the language of a people who care about one another and long to live in harmony. He guides us in reframing the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing and what we are requesting to enrich our lives.

The skills he teaches foster deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.
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Enrich your personal and work relationships with the art of compassionate communication. What if you could defuse tension and create accord in even the most volatile situations just by changing the way you speak? Over the past 35 years, Marshall Rosenberg has done just that, peacefully resolving conflicts in families, schools, businesses, and governments in 30 countries on 5 continents.… (more)

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