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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre (edition 1997)

by Robert Rankin

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315235,272 (3.49)None
Member:andyl
Title:The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
Authors:Robert Rankin
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Tags:science fiction, humour, first edition

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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre by Robert Rankin

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'And the lights upon the allotment,' said Soap, 'what would you take those to be?'
'The work of the council,' said Omally firmly, 'another plot to confound honest golfers.'
Soap burst into a paroxysm of laughter. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and he clutched at his stomach.
'Come now,' said Pooley, 'it is no laughing matter, these lads have it in for us.'
'Have it in for you?' gasped Soap between convulsions. 'You witness a test run of laser-operated gravitational landing beams, the product of a technology beyond comprehension, and you put it down to the work of Brentford Council?'
'If you will pardon me,' said Pooley, somewhat offended, 'If it is the product of a technology beyond comprehension I hardly feel that I can be blamed for finding it so.'
'Quite', said Omalley.


1) The Antipope
2) The Brentford Triangle
3) East of Ealing
4) The Sprouts of Wrath
5) The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

I decided that I should try to fit in some re-reads of old favourites over the next few months, and I started with The Brentford Trilogy since I've got two linked books on my TBR shelf. I liked book 1 of this series, but it was book 2 that got me hooked. On the surface Brentford may appear to be a normal West London suburb, but it's actually a centre of weirdness and a magnet for the uncanny. So it's lucky that the mysterious Professor Slocombe, and local layabouts Pooley and Omalley are ready to tackle evil whenever it rears its head, with the help of the inventive genius Norman Hartnel, hollow-earther Soap Distant and the other regulars of The Flying Swan pub. ( )
  isabelx | Apr 22, 2011 |
If you pulled out the pages that actually were important to the central plot of this short Brentonian outing there wouldn't be many pages in your hand. Fortunately the filler is all Rankin. Plenty of running gags, raunchy gags, pop culture gags and slapstick. Although the story seems somewhat irrelevant it's a short and mostly entertaining ride, easily completed in a few hours. ( )
  SonicQuack | Mar 26, 2010 |
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This book is dedicated to Verity, beautiful daughter of James and Evette.
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What a wonderful lurcher you have there, Mrs Bryant.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 055214357X, Paperback)

There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr. Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr. Malone is cloning Jesus.

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:39:33 -0400)

(see all 2 descriptions)

There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Steven Malone.

(summary from another edition)

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